I'm not a literary giant

Chapter 99: Insects

Environmental changes can affect one’s mood, and changes in mood can affect one’s novel writing. In theory, writers are relatively fragile and their adaptability to the environment is even worse than that of some insects.

Therefore, Chen Qingluo was determined to finish writing Beauvoir's Offering at Ning Chunyan's house, and the Ning family also expressed their understanding. Ning Chunyan's family was immersed in literature, and they knew the writer's little quirks very well, and were quite tolerant of her.

Kafka wrote in his diary that when he was writing The Metamorphosis, he was unable to complete the second half due to an unexpected business trip, which made him very sad - even Kafka was like this, not to mention others - even though The Metamorphosis was already very perfect and it was hard to see how the business trip had any impact on it.

But Wang Zixu believes that if time could be reversed and Kafka had not gone on that mission, he might have been more confident about The Metamorphosis. Because this book is infinitely close to the most perfect novel in concept. If it is more perfect than it, it is simply written by the god of novels himself.

If it hadn’t been for that business trip, Kafka might have had the confidence to submit The Metamorphosis to a newspaper, and it would have certainly been published. Kafka would have become famous, and he would have published novels one after another—in that case, he wouldn’t have to wait until his death to become famous.

Just a business trip affected a writer's life and created an eternal tragedy in the history of literature. This shows how fragile writers are.

Wang Zixu felt that he might follow in the footsteps of Master Kafka.

The last part of his novel was completed in the hospital. He was lying on a white bed, and the nurse came to give him an injection every few hours, with a rather rough technique. There was an old man sleeping in the next bed, groaning all day long and coughing up phlegm at every turn.

All this made him feel very insecure.

When he was writing, he always had an illusion that he could escape from this place after finishing the novel. Then he suddenly realized that the novel he was writing had no direct connection with the hospital, so he was very frustrated. Instead, he had to finish the novel before he recovered from the illness, otherwise his state would be interrupted again.

This feeling of uncertainty permeated his words, making his entire novel like a lotus on a snowy mountain that could be blown to pieces by the cold wind at any time.

Logically, this would inevitably lead to a split in the temperament of the novel's front and back parts. But after writing it, he reviewed it six or seven times and always felt that the whole text was done in one go, very natural, and even a little perfect. He didn't notice any split at all.

This may be because the tone of his novel is tense and his state made the novel even more anxious; but it is also possible that the hospital environment affected his judgment and caused problems with his mentality.

Anyone with creative experience knows that once you start to doubt your work, there’s no end in sight; the doubt will continue to grow like a snowball and eventually crush you.

By the deadline, Wang Zixu was about to give up on himself. After 26 revisions and proofreading, he finally gave up on self-censorship, thinking that it was better to fail than to miss the deadline.

This novel was going to be published anyway. Even if he died, he wanted to die standing.

He made up his mind and called Ning Chunyan.

……

When Ning Chunyan received Wang Zixu's call, she was bored and combing Chen Qingluo's hair with her fingers, while Chen Qingluo was working on her creation as usual. When Wang Zixu's voice floated out of the phone, Chen Qingluo's shoulders shook noticeably, but Ning Chunyan didn't notice.

"Hello, is this Wang Zixu? It's rare that you would take the initiative to call me. What do you want from me?"

Wang Zixu said: "I heard that you are the judge of this essay contest."

Ning Chunyan nodded: "Yes, wait a minute... You are not here to say hello through the back door, are you? I would like to inform you in advance that we do not accept back door connections. The review will be blind on the day of the review, and the name must be covered. I can't help you."

Wang Zixu quickly said, "No... I mainly want to ask you something."

Ning Chunyan listened for a while before he understood his request: Wang Zixu had already written the essay, and in principle, he should send the manuscript to his unit, which would then send it to the Writers Association.

But if the manuscript was submitted to the unit, it would have to go through Gou Yingbiao. Wang Zixu's relationship with Gou Yingbiao was too tense, and no one knew whether he would secretly make trouble, so he turned to Ning Chunyan to ask if there was a public submission channel.

"There are certainly channels for public submissions, but it's troublesome to submit there, and it's easy to get rejected. Just send your manuscript to me directly, and I'll hand it over to the Writers Association."

The prince considered his words for a moment and then said, "Will this leave any evidence?"

"Please, what's the use? I'll just pass your manuscript to someone I know. I won't even read it."

Ning Chunyan felt that there was a kind of vulgar and cunning spirit in Wang Zixu's cautiousness. Maybe this was his unique philosophy of survival. He didn't know what forced him to be like this.

Wang Zixu said, "Thank you very much. I was planning to look for Brother Lin Feng, but he might be busy with his creation, so I didn't dare to disturb him."

"You're afraid of disturbing him, aren't you afraid of disturbing me?"

"I feel like you should be more free..."

"I feel offended by you."

"You must be too sensitive."

Ning Chunyan combed Chen Qingluo's hair while saying, "By the way, I have already submitted your article 'Wild Creepers' to Yangtze River Magazine."

Wang Zixu said: "Oh. Thank you."

"Don't you want to know why it's Yangtze River?"

Before Wang Zixu could answer, a sound like a pig being slaughtered was heard in the background of the phone.

Ning Chunyan asked: "What are you doing over there?"

Wang Zixu said: "I'm in the hospital. The patient in the bed next to me is getting an injection. It seems something went wrong. I'm in the hospital recently."

Ning Chunyan paused while combing her hair: "Are you sick? Why are you in the hospital?"

Wang Zixu said: "I'm a bit overworked."

Ning Chunyan played with Chen Qingluo's hair: "Which hospital are you in? I'll come over to see you."

"Ah? No need."

"Just tell me which hospital, which floor, and which bed number?"

Because he "failed to protect Chen Qingluo" last time, Ning Chunyan was forced to stay in seclusion with her these days, and he was so bored at home that he felt like he was going to get moldy.

Using the excuse of visiting Wang Zixu, she could go out with peace of mind, otherwise she would really suffer from claustrophobia.

Under her strong request, the prince falsely reported his coordinates.

"I'll be there in half an hour. Don't leave the hospital for now." Ning Chunyan joked with him.

Wang Zixu said with a little tiredness: "Alas, I have to stay for another day." Ning Chunyan hung up the phone while humming a song, and suddenly found that Chen Qingluo in front of him was sitting in front of the computer, with her fingers hanging on the keyboard, motionless, like a wooden chicken.

"What's wrong with you?" Ning Chunyan asked, "You don't really know Wang Zixu, do you?"

"I don't know him." Chen Qingluo answered immediately. She continued typing on the keyboard as if she was wound up.

You can't visit a patient without bringing fruit, it's a courtesy. Ning Chunyan searched for some oranges and apples from home, and suddenly thought that according to Wang Zixu's character, it would be better to bring him some spiritual food instead of food. Just as she was about to go to the study to find a book, she suddenly found Chen Qingluo lying on the door sill staring at her.

"What are you doing?"

Chen Qingluo shrank into the door, revealing only one dark eye: "Are you going to the hospital?"

"correct."

"Oh."

Ning Chunyan felt that she seemed to be hesitant to speak, and suddenly it occurred to him that, with her twisted personality, she might be waiting for him to invite her to go to the hospital together.

"Why don't you come with me? You're not in the mood to write anyway."

"Who said that?" Chen Qingluo went back to the room.

"..."

Ning Chunyan shrugged and went downstairs. When she looked up, she found Chen Qingluo standing on the balcony, staring at her sinisterly.

She shuddered: "What is this woman doing? She is so scary!"

She cupped her hands in front of her mouth and shouted, "Come down! I'll wait for you!"

Chen Qingluo disappeared from the balcony. After a while, Ning Chunyan received a text message: "I'm not going."

"..."

Ning Chunyan was not her boyfriend, so he had no energy to guess her thoughts. As she walked on the road, she thought, who would this weirdo Chen Qingluo marry in the end?

No matter who she marries, she will feel sorry for that man.

Wang Zixu hung up the phone and stared blankly at the wall, putting his notebook aside.

After finishing the manuscript yesterday, he slept for a full 12 hours, as if he had saved up all the sleep he had missed in the previous two days and slept for it all at once.

"Hello, I brought you some food."

Ye Lan came in with a lunch box in her hand. She was wearing a light blue suspender dress today, and her figure made the dress fill up.

Wang Zixu was stunned. He didn't expect Ye Lan to come here today.

The woman put the lunch box on his small table, sat down beside him with a huff, made a small fan with her palm, unbuttoned her clothes and fanned herself: "It's so hot."

"Didn't you say you wouldn't come today?" Wang Zixu asked.

"I didn't plan to come here originally," Ye Lan said, drinking water, "but I have nothing to do anyway, and besides, caring for our company's core assets is also one of my jobs."

"How's Qingyan doing?"

Ye Lan sneered and said, "We overestimated them. They treated us like we were facing a formidable enemy before, but in the end our data was not affected at all, and their data did not increase much either."

Wang Zixu frowned: "It shouldn't be like this."

"Why not?" Ye Lan turned his head in surprise.

"Since they used my script, the data shouldn't have increased." Wang Zixu said seriously, "They must have used it wrong."

Ye Lan was speechless for a while. She really couldn't understand the world of this weirdo.

"Wang Zixu, I'm here to see you..."

The soft whispers coming from the door were like cotton wool, tickling your ears, making you feel itchy and comfortable at the same time.

They both looked up at the same time, and saw a slender figure appear at the door, with waist-length hair cascading down like a dark waterfall. In the sunset, Ning Chunyan seemed to be glowing.

When Ning Chunyan saw Ye Lan standing next to Wang Zixu, the spring-like smile on her face instantly disappeared and she became shy. She walked over to him and put the fruit on the table next to him, and then put a book on the small table in front of him.

"You have read all the literature books, right? You probably haven't read this book, so I brought it to you."

Wang Zixu picked up the book and saw that it was Fabre's "The Insect World".

"Isn't this a must-read book for middle school students?" Wang Zixu asked as he flipped through the book.

Ning Chunyan looked like a beautiful girl from a small family. She sat down beside his bed in a reserved manner and asked, "Did you read it in middle school?"

"No. The book was too expensive for me at that time."

“It’s good that you haven’t read it.”

Ning Chunyan and Ye Lan, two women, one sat on one side of the bed, the other on the other, with Wang Zixu between them. The two women looked at each other in silence.

At this moment, their thoughts were similar:

Unexpectedly, Wang Zixu’s wife is quite beautiful.

A bit too beautiful, actually.

...No, why should he?

(End of this chapter)