"What girl! Stop joking with mom, it's not funny at all."

"Mom, you know, you know I'm a girl." Qin Jue's expression changed and became serious, and his tone was urgent, fast and aggressive, "You gave birth to a girl!"

"I don't!!"

Jiang Qiuyue suddenly screamed: "Shut up! Stop talking!"

"mom!"

Qin Jue held Jiang Qiuyue down and looked into her eyes:

"My dad is gone. You don't have to work so hard to hide it from him. I said I can make money, I can take care of you, I can support you. Let's talk about it and let's do whatever we want, okay?"

"What a good thing!!"

Jiang Qiuyue cried: "What do you know! Do you know how hard it is for a woman to live? Do you understand how many rumors my mother has to deal with when she works outside? When I became a manager, how many people scolded me and how many people didn't Can you understand how convinced I am? I scratched someone while driving outside. When I met you across the street, I didn’t even mention that you were a woman. I shouted at the top of my lungs and asked you to find your man. Do you know how many more things like this happen?!"

She didn't know where she got the strength to break away from Qin Jue, and squatted down, almost kneeling in front of her.

"Now that your father is gone, if there is no man in the family, we orphans and widowed mothers still don't know how to be bullied. Mom went to school in Shangouzi, and her grades were the best in the class. She could not reach the third grade of elementary school. , I still had to go home and make mats. At that time, the school distributed bread and eggs, and I couldn’t eat any of them, so I had to keep them all and take them home for my younger brother to eat. My mother was only sixteen at the time, so she was sold to an old man from the next village for a living. The bride price is so that you can save money for your brother-in-law, whom you have never met, to get a wife. The luckiest thing in my life is that I hid in a big truck on the way out of the mountains for three days and three nights before getting married, and then met your father."

Jiang Qiuyue held one of Qin Jue's hands and cried until she was out of breath:

"My good son, you have no idea how hard it is for a woman to live. If you are a woman, you have to stay at home, serve your husband and take care of the children, and do your duty honestly. If you meet a good husband, your life will be good. It's great luck. If you don't meet it, you have to accept your fate. Mom works outside alone for this family, for your father, and for you. Do you know how much pressure Mom feels? I know you have dreams and your own ideas, then You can’t even be a girl. How can a girl talk about ideals and dreams? Only boys can pursue dreams and do big things in an upright manner! Men are born to do big things, but women can’t. Women are born to have a hard life, mom. I have suffered enough, and I don’t want you to suffer any more. Why can’t you understand my painstaking efforts..."

She collapsed and sobbed, and as if she was remembering something, she sniffed and said hastily: "You also said you want to be an actor. How can you go into the entertainment industry as a woman? My child is so outstanding and good-looking. You If you were a girl, how many bad people would be worried about you, but you are a girl, how can you protect yourself?"

Qin Jue looked at her with a very calm expression.

"Whether a person is strong or not sometimes has nothing to do with gender." Qin Jue said softly.

"Since women are suffering, more women need to be strong and change the status quo, instead of degrading groups who are already living a difficult life to a lower place."

"Stop talking, stop talking!" Jiang Qiuyue stood up and shouted sternly at Qin Jue who was sitting on the bed, "Everyone is doing this for your own good. It doesn't matter if you don't understand now, you will know later! How hard I worked To raise you, I, Jiang Qiuyue, will work until death from overwork in order to keep my son healthy and happy! Why can't you understand me!"

The woman stopped roaring after the sound broke. She shook her head, her body collapsed, crumbling, full of fatigue and grievance.

"Okay, son, be good and stop making trouble, okay?"

Jiang Qiuyue begged, "Mom, this is all for your own good. You are my child, how could I harm you? It doesn't matter if you don't understand now. You will understand when you grow up."

As deep as her love is, so is her obsession.

Qin Jue lowered his head, as if defeated by her show of weakness, and said "Yeah" in a dull voice.

"That's right. Honey, are you hungry? If you are, mommy will make you a midnight snack." Jiang Qiuyue sniffed, then squatted down and touched her face, asking softly.

"I'm not hungry." A smile appeared on Qin Jue's expressionless face, "Mom, go and rest."

"Okay, you should also think carefully about what mom said. You are so sensible, you will definitely understand after thinking about it." Jiang Qiuyue held her face and said softly.

Qin Jue nodded expressionlessly and watched her leave the bedroom.

"By the way, don't forget to take your medicine. Mom is most worried about your health, so remember to take good care of yourself." Before leaving, Jiang Qiuyue said earnestly, "Don't use your tricks to deceive mom, or you will be the one who suffers."

Qin Jue nodded again, his movements numb and sluggish, like a robot.

There was a snapping sound from the door lock.

Qin Jue sat on the bed and did not move for a long time, like a lifeless sculpture.

Suddenly she fell backwards, covering her face with one hand, and burst into fitful laughter.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha……"

Her laughter was soft and full of artificial mirth, until the intervals between them grew longer and longer, and finally stopped.

Qin Jue put down his hand, and it hit the bed with a "thud" sound.

In the camera, most of the person lying on the bed maintains this posture, just like in the previous video, his eyes are lifeless, as if his vitality has been sucked away bit by bit, and his hope for life has also disappeared, like a dead person.

She lay there for a long time before she pushed herself up with all her strength.

Then, she looked around blankly and walked out of the camera. After a while, she walked to the desk and sat down with a small medical kit in her hand.

At this moment, she noticed the reflection of the lens and was startled by Xiaoxiao.

She was stunned, as if she just remembered the reason and original intention of what happened just now.

A few more minutes passed, and she suddenly burst into laughter.

"Sure enough." She smiled and shook her head. Her previous determination and bravery completely turned into self-destruction. "The result cannot be changed."

In front of the camera, she opened the medicine box and took out several unlabeled medicines and a handful of disposable syringes.

"This is the nameless medicine that my mother, Ms. Jiang Qiuyue, has given me continuously since I was two years old."

She held the thing in front of the camera, still smiling lightly, and touched her phone with her other hand.

“Thanks to someone’s help, I got the drug analysis results.

"They're male hormones."

She put down the medicine and showed the camera the page on her mobile phone, which contained several detailed analysis reports.

“My mother lied to me and said these were nutrients.

"And I've never had a suspicion in more than ten years."

She put the phone aside and started to open the disposable syringe while speaking softly.

"I was told not to get too close to anyone, and to keep my distance, regardless of gender. I never went to the toilet with anyone of the same or opposite sex, and I never entered a bathhouse."

She even smiled, "Obviously I'm from the Northeast, but I haven't experienced the bathhouse culture. It's a pity."

"When I was in junior high school, I read a biology textbook and had deep doubts about my gender. I thought I was a hermaphrodite or a monster, but I never thought about these medicines. I also told my mother about my gender. Painful, she just said, I am special, I was born different, it will be fine when I grow up.

"Later, I was careless and didn't inject medicine at the fixed time, so my mother scolded me severely.

"That's when I discovered the secret."

She shook the medicine, cleaned the disposable syringe, inserted the needle of the syringe into the soft stopper, and drew out the medicine liquid, her movements were very skillful.

"Because I have received a large amount of male hormones since childhood, my body has very obvious male characteristics." She smiled again, "However, although the Adam's apple and beard appeared successfully, some things cannot grow no matter how hard I try. , This is really not my problem, I have worked very hard." She laughed at herself.

At this time, a portion of the medicine was drained, and she held tweezers with alcohol cotton in her other hand and wiped it on her skin.

At the end of the video, she put away her smile and looked directly into the camera, as if she could have a direct conversation with the person watching across from it.

"I'm a woman."

She whispered, "I'm not ashamed of my gender."

"Mom. This is the last time."

Her expression was calm, her eyes no longer wandered as before, and she was fixed directly in the center of the camera, unwavering.

In the camera, she inserted the needle into the side of her neck.

At the end of the video, on a black screen, her voice says:

“All the good qualities of human beings are never limited to gender.

“No matter what path I take in the future, the main premise of all my thoughts and actions will always be: I am a human being.

"An independent person with complete three views."

This chapter and the previous chapter were written together, with a total of 5600+. It may be tiring to read, so I split it into chapters again.

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