After deciding to give up, I became popular

Naturally, Xia Chuanzou's sudden emotional downturn didn't escape her eyes. It seems that her previous efforts were not entirely in vain, but Zou Jun's knot in his heart doesn't seem to be completely untied...

Helping others is a joy.jpg

053. Facing the Inner Self

The sage has said, I examine myself three times a day... Am I not sincere in my interactions with friends?

Xia Chuanzou never thought that one day he would need to reflect on this point, nor did he ever think that he was insincere towards his friends, until today when he faced his own heart for the first time—making such a willful request to Shiina.

That was indeed not a sincere act, but not because the request made was insincere, but because he had such a rude idea. Perhaps Shiina wouldn't think anything of it, but his suggestion was undoubtedly satisfying his own selfish desires.

He was completely trying to deprive the other party of their freedom to dress... and even control their behavior.

In fact, it was just a novel and flashy outfit that would naturally attract the attention of passersby, but it wasn't a big deal. However, Xia Chuanzou had such thoughts—he didn't want others to see Angel-sama's cute appearance.

Ultimately, he was afraid of her contact with others, afraid that she would have a lover and thus become distant from him... or rather, afraid that she would make friends and divide her attention to him.

But as a friend, shouldn't he smile and bless these things?

However, he couldn't do it.

The thought of Shiina being snatched away by some unknown guy, dividing her concern for him, caused a burst of pain in his heart.

Being lovers would be best, of course, but being just friends would also be fine. He wanted to maintain such a close relationship with Shiina...

Xia Chuanzou thought a lot, but the thing he thought about the most was this—did he really like Angel-san?

She should be his first love, his white moonlight, the person for whom he was willing to constantly change and do things he originally didn't want to do.

But was that considered liking? Xia Chuanzou didn't understand, but all indications showed that it should be called "liking"...

He wanted to stay by her side, wanted to gain her attention, wanted to gain her approval, wanted to be with her forever... but why could he be so quickly relieved after being rejected?

Wasn't it said that it was difficult to let go of a failed first love for a lifetime?

If he really liked her, shouldn't his love be consistent from beginning to end?

Then why could he "fall in love" so quickly when he knew that there were also Senior, Yinglili, and the others in this world?

Could it be that his efforts for "love" were all false? Or perhaps, even he himself hadn't realized the scumbag nature hidden deep in his heart...

Anyone would do, as long as they were willing to accept him—originally it could only be those familiar girls, but later he found that he couldn't get their approval, so he settled for second best, thinking that other "strangers" didn't matter...

But that wasn't love at all, right?

If he liked someone every time he saw them, he would have to truly like them first.

But did he really like them?

Angel-sama's gentleness, Senior's ardent love, Yinglili's tsundere nature, Yukino's resilience, Kaguya's seriousness... he seemed to like only certain traits in them.

Perhaps other people also had them, but because he was more familiar with them and understood them better, he had the confidence to approach and get close.

...

...

...

Yes, that wasn't love, just... pure goodwill and appreciation.

He yearned for their interactions with the original male lead, and looked forward to the way he would feel taking his place.

He had flaunted his love for so long, but finally found that everything was empty. The so-called love never existed from the beginning. He was just trying to be a despicable imitator, trying to steal other people's achievements. He couldn't even face his true self.

So he was willing to be close even after being rejected, and was willing to be just friends. The only thing he was afraid of was that they would all leave him, leaving him alone again...

So that wasn't love...

It was dependence.

...

"Shiina..." Xia Chuanzou suddenly said, looking at Shiina Mahiru sitting beside him.

"Hmm? What's wrong..."

"There are some things I want you to listen to carefully..."

"..." Angel-san didn't reply, but the serious expression on her face was undoubtedly answering him.

"The first time I saw Shiina, I 'liked' you."

"..."

"I liked Shiina's seriousness, gentleness, and effort, I liked Shiina's strength..."

"..."

"I liked everything about Shiina... but not Shiina Mahiru as a person." As if talking about unimportant trivial matters, Xia Chuanzou turned his gaze to the game on the TV and picked up the controller, operating it non-stop.

"I'm sorry... The Xia Chuanzou who confessed to you back then was not the Xia Chuanzou who truly liked you."

"He was just dependent on Shiina Mahiru, greedy for her gentleness, wanting to tie her to his side in the name of 'lover', making her his lifetime approver..."

"He was just a despicable thief, trying to steal Angel-sama's pure feelings. He was not someone worthy of entrusting one's true heart. Your rejection back then was right..."

The words "game over" appeared on the TV, and the game ended here.

"I'm sorry..." Xia Chuanzou lowered his head.

This was already the unknown number of times he had apologized to Angel-san.

Perhaps, this would be the last time...

What kind of reaction would Shiina have after hearing these words?

Would she scold him harshly and slam the door to leave? Or would she remain silent, exposing the truth that he was a scumbag to the public...

But no matter which result it was, it didn't matter. That was the punishment he deserved.

Xia Chuanzou's heart was now extremely calm, and he even remembered the times he had talked with Katou several times.

Katou was indeed an understanding girl, but perhaps even she couldn't have imagined that he had already done extremely willful things.

Approaching others with impure motives, creating various personas to gain recognition at all costs... Was this not a willful act?

Not only to Shiina and Katou, but also to others, he should have disappointed them, right? If they knew the true purpose behind all his actions...

No, maybe he overestimated himself too much. Maybe they had already noticed it?

After all, he was not an imitation master, and the so-called persona must be full of flaws.

...

"Sorry, Shiina, I have been deceiving you all along. You should be angry..."

"I am very angry!"

Without knowing when, Angel-san picked up a pillow and kept hitting Xia Chuanzou with it.

"Stupid Zou, stupid... You only told me these things now. You don't trust me at all, do you?"

"..." Xia Chuanzou really wanted to explain that it wasn't like that, that he had only recently truly realized this.

After being rejected by everyone, after still being able to gain everyone's trust and recognition even after being rejected by everyone.

But saying this would inevitably have a meaning of concealment, so he silently endured Angel-sama's "punishment".

"Stupid, Zou is stupid..."

After hitting him for a while, Angel-san simply threw the pillow aside and used a rocket headbutt on Xia Chuanzou, with her fists also constantly greeting him.

But rather than saying she was beating and scolding him, it would be more appropriate to say she was "flirting".

The fists that came over were weak and powerless, and could be easily grasped with a light grip. The pleasant scent of her hair was constantly coming from below, and the chest was not as cold as imagined...

"Shiina..."

"Zou... have you ever liked me?" The voice that came was a bit muffled and unclear.

"..." Xia Chuanzou remained silent, and shook his head after a long while, "I'm not too sure either..."

After digging deep into his heart, his previous firmness had vanished, and he could no longer say such things without hesitation.

"Bad guy... I'm glad I rejected you back then."

"What?" Xia Chuanzou asked.

He really didn't hear clearly this time.

"Stupid, I'm going back." Angel-sama glared at him fiercely and turned to leave.

"..." Xia Chuanzou could only watch her leave, without stopping her.

He was still hated, he thought.

But the next moment, he received a short message from Angel-sama—Prepare yourself! Stupid Zou!

"..."

054. Now is Kaguya's (My) Time!

Time passed, and the dark night turned to dawn.

The next day, Shūchiin Academy Student Council Room.

Xia Chuanzou sat in the main seat as usual, handling official business.

Next week is the re-election, so there will be more things to do this week. In addition, he has to consider writing down the handover notes, etc. Although he is handy when working on the spot, it is quite troublesome for him to recall the things that need attention and write them down.

Therefore, the best way is to give up thinking about those things and only consider how to defeat those competitors.

"Shinomiya, can you please give me the information of this year's candidates?" Xia Chuanzou asked, looking up.

Knowing yourself and your enemy is the key to victory. He didn't really care before, but that doesn't mean he really didn't care at all. It is necessary to temporarily hug the Buddha's feet.

"Yes." Shinomiya Kaguya responded with a slight upturn of her mouth.

She had finally waited for the opportunity!

For some reason, the president had been listless last week, and she didn't have the opportunity to contact the president alone. When she asked Hayasaka, she wouldn't say what happened. She really cared about what the two of them said at the bookstore on Monday!

She said she would fully support her love, but Ai is a liar!

Well, it doesn't matter, as long as the plan goes smoothly today, she can take down the president in one fell swoop! Then, not to mention what happened last Monday, she can even ask why the president resigned the Monday before last!

This battle is sure to win!

"President, here you are." Taking the list of candidates that she had prepared long ago, Shinomiya Kaguya slowly walked over and handed it to Xia Chuanzou.

Then, she pretended to make an inadvertent mistake and dropped an eraser with someone's name printed on it on the main table.

Perfect!

The movements were as smooth as if she had rehearsed them 100 times at home! She is worthy of being Shinomiya Kaguya!

Next, she will wait for the president to find the eraser and then pick it up to look at it, and then she will show a shy look...

So Shinomiya Kaguya picked up a financial report and pretended to review it, but in fact all her attention was focused on Xia Chuanzou's side.

Watching him write and draw on the paper non-stop, and then alternately take out the next sheet...

Another sheet...

She waited until the flowers were about to wither, but she didn't see the president pick up her eraser and take a look!

So Shinomiya Kaguya couldn't help but get anxious, thinking that if this continued, she would have to take the initiative to bring it up.

The next second, she saw Xia Chuanzou stop his movements, looked at the table, as if he was looking for something.

Shinomiya Kaguya immediately held her breath and began to get nervous.

Closer, closer! The president's hand is getting closer and closer to the eraser... He got it!