Almighty Alchemist
Chapter 49: The Heart of a Teenager
Walking along the banks of the Feyn River, Xiuyi and Lilith looked like a pair of noble men and women, walking leisurely and looking calm.
Lilith played with the small parasol in her hand boredly, and fiddled with the ribbon on her belly from time to time.
"This stuff is too tight for me." Lilith complained.
"If you take those little knives off your body, you'll feel a lot easier."
"That's impossible." Lilith replied decisively: "The great war is coming, and I must make my own preparations for failure."
"you do not believe me?"
Lilith was silent for a moment, she raised her head, looked at the young man in front of her with light green eyes, thought for a while and said, "No, Xiuyi, you are the best killer I have ever seen. Before that, I couldn't even imagine that you could defeat a big man like Leah Bogle. When you first told me your plan, I almost thought you were crazy."
"And now?"
"Now I believe that you have the ability to do many things you want to do. But Huey, even you don't deny the fact that you can't win forever. No one can win forever."
"Yes."
"Then on the day of failure, I will not let myself fall into the hands of the enemy. My life, only I am qualified to end."
Xiu Yi nodded: "I understand, you can keep those things, I will find a way to make you some weapons that are more suitable for close-fitting concealment, and by the way, I will help you change your clothes so that you will not be so uncomfortable."
Lilith smiled happily: "Do you know how to tailor?"
Huey shrugged: "There is no tailor in Purgatory Island. For a while, I often went out with Lancelot to catch monsters. When I came back, the clothes would be damaged, so I learned to mend them myself. No matter when and where, people like capable people, and don't like people who cause trouble for themselves."
"Unless it's your relatives."
"Yes, but neither you nor I."
A gleam of gloom flashed in Lilith's eyes.
Walking along the riverside with Huey, chatting and laughing at the wind, it feels very strange. Lilith felt that what she was facing was not a scary young man who talked, laughed, murdered, and strategized, but an adult with rich emotions. She was surprised how Xiu Yi had such a mature mind. His understanding of human nature and society far surpassed her imagination.
He has a maturity far beyond his age, but he never deliberately shows this. Most of the time, he prefers to let people think that he is an ordinary sixteen-year-old boy.
This surprised her.
"There's one thing I don't understand," Lilith said.
"What?"
"Why do you insist on fighting against the Lance Empire? With your intelligence, there could have been more ways to resolve this matter peacefully. I don't believe that you are the kind of person who is desperate because of hatred. If so, you should go out and fight them desperately after you discovered the secret of Purgatory Island."
Contrary to Lilith's expectations, Xiu Yi actually answered her: "You think I haven't thought about it?"
Lilith looked at Xiu Yi in astonishment, and a blush of burning anger suddenly appeared on the face of the young man in front of her.
He said softly to Lilith: "Yes, Lilith, let me tell you, on Purgatory Island, I wanted to tear off the mask more than once, break the disguise and openly fight with them. Not for anything else, just to vent the resentment in my heart."
"Do you think I was born to be the Hugh Igles in your eyes? No, I used to be full of sunshine like you. I am a man, and I am not very old. I also have passionate feelings, but I have to force myself. Do you know how difficult it is?"
"Know that the human mind has no shackles. Your instinct of anger and revenge and your reason of restraint and forbearance are engaged in a life-and-death struggle every day. Just like the battle between me and the empire, reason cannot lose, because once instinct defeats reason, even a look, a movement, as long as I show my hatred for them, will wake them up."
"Do you know what hatred is? Hatred is the kind of thing that can burn your desires, dazzle your mind, and confuse your reason. It often makes you impulsive regardless of everything. And I struggle with this feeling every day."
"It's been four years, under this kind of crazy self-suppression, even the fire man has turned into an ice man!" Xiu Yi murmured.
Lilith looked at Xiu Yi in shock, listening to him describe what she had endured on Purgatory Island for four years. It wasn't until that moment that she finally understood what kind of psychological struggle Xiu Yi had gone through.
She finally believed that it was definitely a very difficult process.
Just as she gritted her teeth with hatred every time she thought of Kevin Beers, and Xiuyi at that time was like Lilith facing a group of Kevin Beers every day, and then she had to smile flatteringly and work hard.
She asked herself that if it was herself, she would never be able to do that kind of forbearance.
Maybe she had already stepped forward to make a life-and-death decision with the enemy.
Of course, the person who failed must be himself.
Looking at Lilith who had awakened, Xiu Yi suddenly smiled, her voice full of sentimentality:
"Yes, I also wanted to yell loudly at the sun every day, express my ideals in my heart, and want to live a good life. But God didn't give me this opportunity!"
Although Xiu Yi's voice was very soft, the power in those words was fiercely impacting Lilith.
"So I can only change myself, forcibly reverse my personality and desires, and make myself deeper, more rational, and more efficient in doing things."
"I have to learn to analyze people. From the moment I meet the other person, I have to analyze the other person's personality traits and whether they have value that can be used by me. From the very beginning, I have to plan for the future and ensure that there will be no mistakes in the plan."
"When I was on Purgatory Island, I made hundreds of plans, each of which had to go through careful scrutiny and repeated verification, so as not to make any mistakes. Even so, I had to prepare various backup plans for contingencies."
"It's been four years, Lilith, and I'm used to this kind of life. I finally found that I don't have to forcibly distort myself anymore. Because I reshaped myself. Reshape according to the principle of maximizing survival needs."
"That's why I survived."
Speaking of this, Xiu Yi smiled lightly.
"Don't you want to know why I insist on fighting with the Lance Empire to the end? This is the reason. I hate them far more than your imagination. They let me lose my best time, let me live in painful hell, and even let me twist and change my personality. I am like a beast. Everything I have. I created it myself into an upgraded combat machine. People like me, without fighting, can't reflect my value. So who can I fight with? "
"Only Lance Empire." Xiu Yi said firmly.
"You don't have to, you have a lot of ways to prove yourself."
"Yes, but it won't be better than it is now. Do you know? There is something called volcanoes in the world. For a long time, they sleep most of the time. But when they wake up one day, they will have the power to destroy the world. It is more terrifying and powerful than the most powerful forbidden magic in this world."
"Lilith, I am that volcano. My hatred has accumulated into a sea of flames, burning blazingly. I need to give them a space to release. Only in this way can they not rush out all at once and destroy everything and myself."
"Oh, my God." Lilith exclaimed softly.
In order to survive, Huey covered her exterior with a thick ice shell.
But this doesn't change the fact that he was once a hot-blooded boy.
The moment he walked towards freedom, the ice shell on the volcano began to melt, and the fire in his heart burned completely.
At that time, Xiu Yi knew that the hatred in his heart could only be washed away with a lot of blood.
He didn't want the twisted soul to control him.
But it's not easy.
He needs to walk in this world, to feel the warmth of this world, let more sunshine shine on himself, so as to re-warm his cold heart.
But in the process, he also needed a channel to vent his anger and hatred.
It is a dangerous and smart way to choose to confront the empire and fix the target of revenge.
The danger is that during this confrontation, he may fail and die at any time.
The cleverness is that this method is indeed very effective.
Killing the designated target enemy through passive defensive counterattack can not only vent anger and hatred, relieve the pressure in the heart, but also prevent yourself from getting lost in the killing.
Finding sunshine in the bloody road of revenge and stepping out of a new tomorrow is undoubtedly the best solution.
"Yes, you understand, right? I am not the Hugh Igles you know. There is no such Hugh Igles in this world, because it is just an illusion. He is neither deep nor wise. On the contrary, he is a pervert who has caused his mind to be twisted during four years in prison. The only good news is that this pervert still has a ray of sunshine in his heart, and there is still a sliver of reason. So he quickly found a way out."
"So I give up peace. Because I need a channel to vent. I don't want to be the volcano that accumulates strength and erupts at the last moment, burning everything down. If you want to know my true purpose, then this is true. Walking the world allows me to feel the sunshine of life, believe in the beauty of life, and maintain a person's basic conscience and morality; killing those who hunt me can bring me the pleasure of satisfaction, the joy of revenge, and the anger in my heart; powerful opponents, the crisis of survival, keep me awake and rational at all times Wisdom, so that I will not fall into madness and confusion."
"The last reason... is to make me stronger quickly."
Xiu Yi murmured, pouring out all the difficulties and sufferings in her heart. Over the years, he has never told anyone what is in his heart. In the eyes of everyone, this young man is mysterious and powerful, even terrifying.
Until this moment, he finally let Lilith see that on the other side of that deep and calm, there is also something fragile, but he demonstrates it firmly so that no one will notice.
Lilith felt something in her heart. She hugged Xiuyi and pressed it on her plump chest: "The method you chose is too lonely. Now, I will share this pressure with you."
"Thank you, that's exactly what I need." Xiu Yi said softly.
On the banks of the small river, the two cuddled closely together, no longer like a pair of siblings, but like a pair of lovers.
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