American Entertainment 1982

"My dear friend: When you read this letter, you should have also received your lovely child, who is also the kindest little angel in the world, and sent you that little gift for me."

"Maybe you will wonder, is this guy Jeff Lavin drunk and gave the wrong gift? No one among friends will use this kind of gift to maintain friendship, not to mention, it is sent through children, I'm going to talk to him about it tomorrow."

"In fact, I did something more courageous than giving the wrong gift when I was drunk, and I ran as a candidate for a special election in my district."

"The reason for the election is that I believe that the beautiful eighteenth district needs more racial diversity. The purpose of this gift is to hope that all white residents will use Trojan to show your tolerance for racial diversity. In this district, give Cubans and blacks have more living space."

"America's greatness lies in love and tolerance, from your most loyal friend in this district: Jeff LaVine."

A somewhat cramped utility room in the after-school children's playground provided by the Catholic Church in Miami's 18th Ward was temporarily used as the office of Martin, the campaign manager.

At this moment, Martin took the letter from Tommy to the parents of the children in the name of Jeff. After reading it carefully, after thinking for a few minutes, he suddenly understood and said to Tommy:

"Boss, I understand what you are thinking. You are going to make Jeff offend all white people, make him look like he is rejected by the white group, and use the image of being pitiful and tolerant to other groups to win the sympathy of Cubans and blacks. After all In his letter, he called on these white people to use more Torjan to prevent unwanted pregnancies, so that Cuban immigrants and niggers can have more children, right?"

"Copy one hundred copies of this letter." Tommy did not answer Martin's guess, but said to Martin seriously: "All handwritten, I can't ask other people to help you, after Jeff and the children ended today's assembly It must be completed before, and then when the little ones go home, let them take it back to their parents."

After finishing speaking, he handed Martin a few ballpoint pens and a stack of letter paper: "After copying, remember to burn the original copy I wrote."

"Convince everyone that Jeff wrote it, right? I understand." Martin was about to refuse, but he saw Tommy take out fifty dollars from his wallet and hand it to him: "Fifty cents a piece, more work, more pay. "

Martin asked suspiciously: "But... there are only more than 70 children, who do you send the rest of the letters to?"

"There is a Church Children's Hospital on the next street. Go to the inpatient office and send a message to the children who are hospitalized due to illness." Tommy said casually: "Besides, not to let everyone think that this letter was written by Jeff, You wrote it, and when someone comes to your door, you have to admit that you drafted the letter yourself."

After Tommy finished speaking, he left Martin, whose brain was directly shut down by the operation of sending letters to children in the Children's Hospital, turned around and walked towards the side:

"Also, after you finish writing, remember to put them in envelopes and attach a Torjan inside the envelopes. I'm going to see Jeff's performance in front of the children now."

Martin looked at the thick stack of letter paper, and made up his mind that he would not deliver letters to the Children's Hospital, lest he be chased and killed by angry accompanying parents. He was picking up his pen and was about to write a letter, when he saw Page appeared at the door with arms folded, with a dull expression on his face stared at him.

"That's great, Mr. Page, you are watching me at the door like a fucking prison guard?" Martin scratched his head frantically, and then lay down on this simple table and began to write: "I won't escape from prison, don't worry .”

Page watched Martin's movements, and said in his mouth: "No, Tommy asked me to tell you what to pay attention to after being taken to the police station by the police while you are writing the letter."

"What?" Martin raised his head when he heard Page's words, and asked inexplicably, "Why the fuck did the police bother me because I stole ten boxes of ten boxes worth seven dollars at Costco?" Install Trojan?"

"You stole those?" Paige was slightly taken aback.

Martin said to Page confidently: "What do you think? The boss didn't give me the money to pay the bill, but don't worry, fortunately, the supermarket never suspects that black people will steal that thing. Never use that stuff."

"There are some discrepancies with the boss's orders, but it's not a big problem. Now listen to me." Page said to Martin.

Martin felt that Page was affecting the speed at which he made money, and his tone was a little impatient: "Listen to what? Listen to a white retired old policeman who racistly shot and killed black people, teach me how to be a fish in water in the police station? I am black, and black people deal with it in the police station. The police have their own way, come on, I'm working, I'm not slacking."

"Listen to what Tommy asked me to convey to you, as a campaign manager in the police station, how to help your clients increase their reputation, and how to maximize the benefits if you frame potential opponents." Page said.

Martin frowned, showing a puzzled look: "Why didn't the boss tell me in person?"

Page revealed the electric shock device at his waist: "Because the effect of this teaching method is more intuitive."

Tommy walked to the activity room of the church and saw that Jeff was holding a children's version of the Bible story on the stage and loudly telling the story of Adam and Eve who were expelled from the Garden of Eden by God because of their mistakes. Sixty or seventy children were sitting around him. For four weeks, eating the little snacks or candy that Jeff provided them for free.

"This story tells us that if we don't listen to God, we will be punished. God is like a teacher. He makes us understand all the truths in the world. It is obviously very, very wrong for Adam and Eve to take apples that do not belong to them. ,God punished Adam and Eve by driving them out of the Garden of Eden. As a result, they lost the opportunity to live in such a beautiful homeland forever, so, children, we can't take other people's things for ourselves like they did. , Be a good boy and only do the right thing." Jeff finished telling the story of the Garden of Eden, looked at the children, and gave his understanding of the story.

Tommy stood in the corner, quietly listening to Jeff tell the whole story of the Garden of Eden, and then exhaled slowly.

Jeff's eloquence is a bit bad, he only knows how to read it according to the content of the book, dry and not vivid at all, but the last sentence reminded Tommy that when he was a child, his mother would tell himself and Tony every night before going to bed. The stories, most of them are biblical stories, because she is a devout Catholic, and at the end of every story, she will tell him and Tony, like Jeff, to do the right thing.

"Jeff ruined this sentence, he is not suitable to be a woman." Tommy finally gave such an evaluation in his heart.

A little Caucasian boy who looked about seven or eight years old swallowed the food in his mouth, and suddenly asked Jeff a question in a puzzled tone: "Why did God only drive Adam and Eve out of their home, but not Dare to teach the real bad guy, the bad snake that tricked Adam and Eve into eating the apple? Is it the real bad guy?"

Seeing that Jeff's face immediately became stunned, Tommy realized that his brain is in a mess now, which is a bad phenomenon, because if the children see his reaction, they will ask more questions to get the answer. In other words, it's not just children, it's human beings' inherent aggression.

"The book says that God created all things, but that bad snake was created by God just like Adam and Eve, so why did God create a bad snake?"

"Why did God create so many pythons in Florida? My dad said there were more pythons out there in the Everglades than there were people, and he said he saw a python crawl into a neighbor's house and eat the neighbor's dog .”

"Adam and Eve found that they were naked after eating the apples. Why did God let Adam and Eve live in his Garden of Eden without clothes for so long, and invited other friends to his house to trick them into taking off their clothes?"

"I know, he is a pervert. There is an episode of the cartoon "Bresta Sheriff". There is a villain who likes to trick children into his house. Is God a villain who likes to trick children? Which one is he and the bad snake? Even worse?"

"The snake is not a bad guy! The snake said that after Adam and Eve ate the apple, they would gain wisdom and distinguish between good and evil. God is bad. He hoped that Adam and Eve would always be two idiots who couldn't even wear clothes!"

"Uncle Jeff is the idiot, all he can do is read stories and do experiments with solid wood balls and solid wood boards! Every time he asks a question, he can't give an answer!"

Sure enough, after the first child asked a question, more children joined the battle group and began to throw out all kinds of weird questions about God's behavior, and looked at Jeff who was caught off guard with flickering eyes.

Jeff may not have thought that he would cause such an uproar just by telling a very ordinary story of paradise lost. The children's questions were like a tide and he was about to be overwhelmed. What's worse, these children were about to regard God as A copper smelter who knows what to do!

It was his own fault. As a believer, he should replace God to help these little guys clear their doubts, but he didn't know what to say to these little guys who were eager for knowledge, so he could only look at the other side who was distributing candies for help. Two janitorial friends.

The two janitors gave Jeff a helpless look. After all, Jeff was the smartest of the three of them.

Jeff opened his mouth and opened the Bible children's book, but there was no answer to the questions raised by these little devils.

"Because God wants them to distinguish between good and evil through their own eyes, and hopes that they can understand how to take things to keep out the cold through their own bodies, not through the mouth of others. God can give life, but wisdom needs to be acquired by oneself." Tommy approached these children with a smile, opened his mouth to help Jeff, and attracted all the children's attention to himself. He lightly touched the top of the head of a little boy who asked a question just now, and then lowered his body and squatted on the other side. before:

"Just like what I'm telling you right now, the waters of Miami's Treasure Beach are bottomless, and there's a North Sea monster, Kraken, who comes out every day to drag the yacht into the sea with its tentacles and open its mouth to eat it. Do you believe it? ?”

Tommy made a pose with teeth and claws, which made these little guys laugh out loud. A little girl beside him said, "It's strange, there is no Kraken on Treasure Beach, and the sea is very shallow."

A group of children also nodded in agreement.

"Why do you think there is no Kraken, why do you think the sea is shallow?" Tommy looked at the little girl with encouragement in his eyes.

The little girl said to Tommy: "Because the school organized us to go to Treasure Beach for a parent-child camping activity, we stayed at Treasure Beach for a day and a night. No matter day or night, we didn't see Kraken surfaced."

"May I have your name?"

"Emily."

"Very good, Emily, think about it, do I look like that bad snake just now?" Tommy looked at the little girl tenderly: "If you haven't seen Treasure Beach yourself, maybe you will see me Seriously, right, after all, how could an adult be willing to deceive a cute little girl like you? Then think about it now, why didn't God just let Adam and Eve eat apples?"

The little girl named Emily nodded half-understood, and said with some hesitation under Tommy's encouraging and rewarding eyes: "So, God wants us to go and see for ourselves, so that we can know whether the bad snake is real or not. lie?"

"VeryGood! The answer is very correct!" Tommy exclaimed with an exaggerated expression.

The little girl laughed happily.

The "Bible" is a poor religious book with numerous logical loopholes, and the descendants continue to wipe their asses madly for the predecessors. The real reason why God drove Adam and Eve away from the Garden of Eden is recorded in the original text of the Bible: Sri Lankans can distinguish between good and evil, just like our peers, Fearing that if he raises his hand, he will also take the fruit of life, eat it and live forever.

That is to say, God is worried that they eat the fruit of wisdom and already have wisdom. If they eat the fruit of life and gain eternal life under the temptation of Satan, it will be no different from the one who created them. He created human beings. I hope that humans will worship him, not that they will become him.

Through this incident, God tried to make Adam and Eve understand that the excuse of learning to think independently was completely improvised by Tommy, and had nothing to do with God’s real thoughts. It was just helping God, or helping Jie. Just wipe your ass.

Just like today's clergymen, they find all kinds of reasons that sound gentler and more compassionate to beautify the black history before God. It's not for God. After all, if it's really for God, they should tell the believers frankly, God likes his believers to be naked idiots* forever.

Seeing that the children thought they had the answer, Tommy immediately said while the iron was hot: "So, I want you to understand that my dear Uncle Jeff is definitely not an idiot. He wants you to learn to think independently, understand?"

"When Sergeant Bresta fights criminals, he doesn't ask his uncle every time before he understands how to catch criminals. He must have the wisdom and courage to face difficulties alone. I think you are very, very rude. , Uncle Jeff and his friends prepare biscuits and candies for you every day, and tell you beautiful stories for you. Instead of thanking him, you question him and mock him. Think about it, hey, you, little guy, if You bring delicious candy to your good friends every day, and your good friends eat the candy you send, but laugh at you for dressing like a bunny with shaved butt hair today, what will you do?"

"I... I might...pretend nothing happened, and then pack the poop mixed with powdered sugar in a candy wrapper the next day, and pass it off as fudge for them to continue tasting." The little boy who was pointed at by Tommy Boy, seriously thought of a way to teach those guys who dared to laugh at themselves.

This method of revenge is fucking Florida, Tommy thought silently.

But he still had a smile on his face. "If you don't want dear Uncle Jeff to prepare you each a poop fudge tomorrow, what are you going to do?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Lavine."

"I'm sorry, Uncle Jeff."

The children apologized to Jeff.

Jeff responded in a hurry: "It's okay, children, I promise I will never make poop gummies, and I will continue to bring you candies tomorrow."

"Uncle Jeff forgives you, but he wants you to do him a small favor, which is to bring your parents a small gift he carefully prepared." After seeing the children apologizing, Tommy stood up and turned towards Going to the original corner: "When you go home, someone will give you gifts."

"I... When will I..." Jeff was a little surprised when he heard Tommy say that he had prepared gifts for the parents of these children.

Tommy stood still in the corner, turned around and looked at Jeff who was surrounded by children: "It's Martin, your campaign manager Martin paid out of his own pocket, and helped you prepare gifts for their parents thoughtfully, let's move on to the next story , Jeff."

It’s too late, so I won’t divide it into chapters, nearly 5,000 words~ Divided into two chapters, it seems too small~