American Entertainment 1982

(Given that religion is a very sensitive existence, so... let’s fast forward the process of raising funds from cults and continue the next stage of the absurd campaign journey. In fact, I quite like those weird cult materials in the United States. After all, I bought them specifically for this purpose. I have read a pseudo-Bible published by a non-mainstream sect in the United States. It is quite interesting. The author is a master of sophistry, but the safety of this book is the most important thing. I will leave that thing for my own enjoyment.)

Tommy carried a can of Coke and walked into Martin's newly rented office. He looked around and said, "It looks good. This is the atmosphere that a campaign office should have."

In the spacious but messy hall, seven or eight workstations are separated, and a TV screen wall composed of twelve TV sets is stacked in front of one wall, playing different TV channels.

There are campaign materials with Jeff's image printed on them scattered around, and five or six staff members with work badges hanging on their chests and baseball caps with Jeff's campaign slogan "Say No to the Cubans" printed on their heads are busy in the lobby, or Either they hang the phone to their ears, covering the receiver to signal their colleagues to lower their voices, or they stare at the TV set on one wall, which shows various live talk shows in the Miami area. Once a certain show ends, they are ready to pick it up. Call the host's number and talk to him about getting on that show.

"The phone number for BT Miami's "Good Morning Liberty City" program has been blocked. The program has been broadcast for half an hour, but the phone line is always busy!" A young staff member gently knocked twice on an office at the end of the hall. The door of the room was opened, and he poked his head inside and said.

Martin was sitting on the luxurious leather swivel chair in the office, with his back to the door and staring at the whiteboard on the wall. When he heard the other party's words, he said without moving: "Then continue to dial the numbers of the host and program director. Your whole job today is to find them for me and tell them that we are not short of money now! Those candidates can talk to them, and so can Jeff."

After the staff exited, Martin looked at the scrawled electoral district map scrawled with a marker on the whiteboard. He first put an Sir, how is the billboard installation work going for those niggas? Three were injured by the Cubans, and two are now in a vegetative state... Those Cubans are really cruel, are they in disguise? Are you sure they are in disguise, not Really injured by a Cuban? Did you test it with a fucking stun device? That's my half-brother! Damn... You're going to let all the black people in the Hart family have a taste of your stun device ?"

"How much did my poor brother say? Three thousand dollars? Three thousand fucking dollars? Very good, take out your electric shock device that looks like an elephant trunk and press the switch on his dick for me! If he If he is not dead, let him come back to see me and I will shock him again! After teaching him a lesson, another group of black workers should arrive and let the cameras continue to record the atrocities of the Cubans. Don’t let those stupid veterans help fight. Cubans! No! Even if they take the initiative to stop those bastards whose brains have been damaged by alcohol! Tell those nosy old guys that if they dare to shoot and kill Cubans, Jeff will never leave them in his life. Mom wants to be elected again!”

The door behind him was opened. Martin, who was already irritated by Page's live news, covered the receiver and roared loudly without looking back: "How many times have I told you this! Be polite! I'm haha Boss of Special Consulting Company! Give me enough respect, otherwise you interns will never get my recommendation letter! Get out!"

"Sir, the Hawke family asked me to inform you that their mill needs your help." Tommy leaned against the glass door and said with a smile.

"HolyShit!" Hearing this familiar voice, Martin threw away the phone, turned around and stood up from the swivel chair, and explained to Tommy fearfully: "Boss? Are you finally back from your mission? I thought you were going to wait for Jeff's third mission. I had to rush back after a party nomination primary election. Also, I didn’t mean what I said just now. I was scolding the staff, most of whom were rude interns, thinking that my office could be treated like their girlfriends. Anyone can come and go at will, but your office is next door, I guarantee that no one has ever entered it, it is as new as a virgin."

He finished speaking in one breath, and then realized that Tommy was the only one, and asked curiously: "Where are Nick and the others? We need them now. We need cameras to go to Little Havana to shoot the footage of the Cubans destroying Jeff's billboard. The more the better, the better." good."

"After Nick accompanied me to seven churches, he chose to take a vacation. He returned to Los Angeles, but he said that the new person in charge should arrive today to take over." Tommy looked at Martin, who was dressed in a business style. : "This outfit makes you look more like a big shot than those gold necklaces and rings."

The Martin in front of him wore a smoky gray hard-collared shirt with the top button loosened but the cuffs were not rolled up but buttoned up. He wore a low-key business watch, a pair of black suit trousers and black leather shoes, making him look like this man. The simple gray style room complements each other perfectly. Compared with the impostor in Los Angeles who always hung a big gold chain around his neck and wore ten gold rings on his hands to pretend to be a black man. Although Martin still chatters endlessly, he looks More pleasing to the eye.

"Your social charity donated 200,000 yuan to Jeff's campaign action committee. The first thing I received was that I followed your instructions and found a professional campaign stylist to package Jeff's family of five and mine. The image was an extra gift from him. He hoped to cooperate with us for a long time. The guy also stipulated that I couldn't eat fast food, drink Coke, or throw cigarette butts around, so he gave me this." Martin was a little unhappy with his situation. At this time He turned around and picked up a white mug with no pattern on the table, and complained to Tommy:

"He also said that I can only drink coffee with this, and I can't add too much milk, and I can't eat greasy or smelly food during work, so that I can look clean and capable."

"It seems that you listen to him very much." Tommy nodded with satisfaction: "You should listen to professional advice on this kind of thing."

"If I don't listen, how can I convince Jeff to listen? In fact, I don't want to listen to that guy." Martin sighed: "That bastard said that my hair style is like shit. I have the best fucking hair style in Little Haiti." division."

Tommy bit his straw and took a sip of Coke: "Where's Jeff?"

"I called him ten minutes ago. He was being arrested by a stylist for a tattoo, and his wife Jessica was crying because the stylists donated all her previous clothes to the church and forced her to wear clothes that made her breasts visible. Underwear with a tighter fit, but she just can’t put it on.” Martin shook his head, introduced Jeff’s latest situation, and at the same time picked up the car keys on the table and said to Tommy:

"I can personally drive you to see this candidate who has helped Boss earn 700,000 in dirty political money for your charity."

"It's amazing, Martin, after two weeks of not seeing each other, you actually understand the term dirty money in politics." Tommy teased Martin with a smile.

Seven churches, relying on the orthodoxy of Gary Duney and the sophistry of Tommy Hawke, as well as a series of political rewards given after Jeff LaVine promised to be elected, finally Tommy got a total of seventy Thousands of donations were then given to Jeff's campaign action committee of two hundred thousand.

Martin took Tommy out of the company, and then helped Tommy open the door of the rented Cadillac business car: "The hosts on TV taught me this. They swore that Jeff must have received political money, otherwise he would never have appeared. Competing with others on the candidate list can also waste labor and money, and post campaign advertisements everywhere. Now I think you are absolutely right, boss. You can make more money by engaging in politics than giving laxatives to the pigeons in the square. Seven hundred thousand, even if We pumped all the pigeons in Miami for a round and they couldn’t get that much money.”

Martin now admires Tommy to the point where he has nothing to say. When they came to Miami for vacation, the two of them had almost nothing, but in less than a month, he had become the founder of a campaign consulting company and was running a campaign for a senatorial candidate. Although the manager is extremely busy with Jeff's campaign every day, when he thinks that he holds hundreds of thousands of campaign funds, more than a dozen team members, living in a business hotel, and driving a rented high-end business car, This made Martin feel like he was dreaming.

What's even more exaggerated is that the boss Tommy standing behind him already has half a million in his hands.

Half a million dollars is money that many Americans will never make in a lifetime. My boss just wandered around Florida for two weeks as if he were on vacation. He earned it without disclosing the name of the donor. There is no guarantee that the money will be spent. For Jeff's campaign, he only needs to use the excuse of doing charity and take the money from the foundation account to his wallet. The simplest way is to buy advertising space on his own TV station and quote a high price. This political black money will be Being able to be fair and aboveboard becomes clean money at Tommy's disposal.

"Are you going out next, boss?" Martin held the steering wheel and asked Tommy, who was reading a newspaper in the back seat.

Tommy looked at the news about the campaign in the newspaper and said, "No, rest until after Jeff's party nomination speech, and then go make money."

"Can I continue to make money?"

"Of course, those candidates who originally had a certain winning rate, but now have little hope due to Jeff's sudden emergence, the sponsors behind them need to re-place their bets because the other party has been eliminated. At that time, find a way to get them to place their bets On Jeff." Tommy said, "I thought I was gone for two weeks and you had a good idea of ​​the process."

"Jeff's two best friends, as well as all the relatives of Jeff's family, were arranged by me to join the campaign team and receive a salary." Martin said carefully: "I have seen other campaign teams do this."

"Get to the point, Martin." Tommy looked up at Martin who was driving, and then continued to lower his head to read the newspaper.

Martin licked his lips: "Well... there are also several relatives of mine working on the campaign team. I guarantee that they are really working and not slacking off. In order to prevent them from slacking off, I also asked Page to supervise the work."

"How does it feel without Paige around?" Tommy laughed.

Seeing that the boss didn't get angry because he arranged for relatives to come in to make money, Martin also grinned and showed his white teeth: "It's great, every day is like a Roman holiday."

Martin drove Tommy to Jeff's house, which he had not seen for a long time. When he got out of the car, Tommy even suspected that he had gone to the wrong place. The house was still the same, but the colorful flowers in the flower bed in front of the door had been dealt with, leaving only monotony. But neatly green, a U.S. Army flag and a United States flag stand crossed on the roof, forming a flag door. The kennel on the right side of the front yard is still there, but the original two small and cute dogs have disappeared. It disappeared, replaced by a kerchief with an American flag pattern around its neck. Just sitting in the yard, the passers-by on the street scared the Canarian bulldog with its balls clamped.

Coupled with the camouflage-painted old military pickup truck parked in the open parking space, Tommy believes that those voters don’t even need to see Jeff LaVine, they only need to see the first impression of his home through the TV. Imagine Jeff as an absolutely patriotic and very tough white tough guy.

"This dog is nice. It looks like a pet that veterans should keep. Where did you get it?" Tommy whistled at the fierce dog and asked.

But the dog obviously didn't like Tommy's teasing, especially when he saw Tommy, a new face, swaggering into the yard, he leaned down and growled menacingly.

"Hey, Lance! Calm it down! This is Mr. Tommy Hawke. The charity he manages donated two hundred thousand to Jeff. If this dog bites him, I guarantee that he will be killed last night." Mr. Page, who is drinking with you, will hang you and your dog without expression in the next second!" Martin shouted towards a middle-aged black man who was squatting in the front yard to repair a lawnmower.

The black man stood up, glanced at Tommy, and then turned to yell at the dog. The dog immediately closed its mouth, and the other man continued to squat down, like a mute, silently playing with the lawnmower.

"This is Lance, a homeless **** who I met when I went to give a speech at a nursing home. The pickup truck broke down and Lance helped fix it. I think it just made Jeff Give him a job so that everyone can feel that Jeff is really helping veterans. Currently, Lance serves as Jeff's driver, gardener and pet sitter. The dog is also his. After he has this job, he will The dog was stolen from his ex-wife." Martin opened the front of Jeff's living room and made an inviting gesture to Tommy:

"Welcome to the home of Patriot Jeff LaVine."

The entire living room had been completely renovated. Before Tommy could enter the door, he saw a white-tailed stag's head hanging on the wall in front of him, with a shotgun hanging underneath.

Before Tommy left to help Jeff find donations, there was a family photo hanging there of Jeff's family and his two best friends. A group of people were in the photo, smiling as brightly as fools.

Stepping into the living room, I found that the original landscape decorative painting above the fireplace had become an oil painting of bald eagles. The row of picture frames placed on the eaves of the fireplace had also changed their contents. They used to be Jeff's family. photos of daily life, but what is most conspicuous now is a photo frame, not a photo, but a piece of stationery with a paragraph written on it in pen:

"As long as this country and this government protects our rights, it is worth defending to the death! As long as it is worth defending, every American is willing to use his body to form an indestructible shield to protect it! If that day comes, among us, Maybe some people will be bleeding and injured, maybe some people will be captured and tortured, maybe some people will die on the battlefield, but I believe that as long as the free people holding weapons still love this country, we will never be conquered by foreign enemies!"

At the bottom is a line of small words: To this country's best soldier, Jeff LaVine.

Signed Irving Cohen.

Tommy is familiar with this passage. He is the seventh president of the United States and the first Democratic president of the United States. It is a line from Andrew Jackson's inaugural speech. There is an introduction to this speech in high school history class, but he signed it at the end. Very strange: "Who is Irving Cohen?"

"Former Deputy Commander of the Florida National Guard, the above paragraph is true. The lower line of fine print and the previous line are also true. The name Jeff LaVine was signed by an employee with beautiful handwriting. This letter Originally, all soldiers serving in the Florida National Guard received one, and Jeff was no exception. However, Jeff didn't take it seriously at all, and his genuine letter was carelessly left in the car. In the armrest box, one time his son had diarrhea while traveling, and he simply used it to wipe his son's butt. For this reason, we had to find another letter and changed the name to his." Martin introduced next to him. .

Tommy even noticed that the pop song tapes in the cabinet had been replaced with folk songs with straightforward patriotic lyrics.

"Thank God! Tommy, is it you? You are finally back! ~Help us~ Everyone is crazy! Everyone!" Jeff's wife Jessica heard the voices of Martin and Tommy in the living room. Bu trotted down from upstairs, rushed towards Tommy with a grievance on his face, grabbed Tommy's arm, and then seemed to have found someone to confide in, summarizing all the grievances he had suffered during Tommy's absence. poured out.

Jessica is a very virtuous and traditional housewife. Jeff goes to work every day, and she carefully takes care of her four children, prepares dinners for her family, and takes care of their lives. Although she is a housewife taking care of four children She was very tired. Occasionally, while watching TV, Jessica would imagine that she could be like the women she saw on TV, wearing beautiful and decent gifts, designing beautiful hairstyles, and attending those formal cocktail parties, but then It was just a little fantasy in her spare time. When it all came true, she realized that it was not what she wanted at all.

First, the two cute dogs that had been raised for many years were suddenly abandoned to relatives in the countryside for foster care. In exchange, they got a large fierce dog that the four children of the family wanted to feed dog food to show their kindness, and they all wanted to kneel on the ground and knead one of them first.

The newsboy delivering newspapers and milk in the morning has been so scared that he wet his pants for four consecutive days since the appearance of this patriotic bulldog wearing a pocket square with an American flag pattern.

The original home, which was a bit messy but absolutely warm, was now decorated to look like half a military camp dormitory. Although it was neat, it still felt like it didn't belong to her. It seemed like she was serving here instead of living here.

All the photos that recorded good memories at home were collected and thrown into the storage box in the attic. They were replaced with various photos that she found scary, such as Jeff wearing camouflage clothing, holding a shotgun, and a white-tailed deer lying upside down in front of him. Photos, and even a bunch of photos that Jeff's father sent from Vietnam were found and hung all over the house. The most exaggerated thing is that when he was in high school, photos of him participating in the shooting training of the school rifle club were also found. After hanging in the bedroom, every time Jessica lay on the bed and saw her stupid appearance holding a rifle in high school, she was embarrassed and wanted to cover her head with the quilt.

The four children, except for the two who were too young, were temporarily safe. The older two were sent to the Boy Scouts weekend military training camp for some training. The two children who were originally cleaned up by her were trained into two children. A little homeless man covered in mud, she even held up a home video recorder and gave them a hypocritical thumbs up, praising them for a job well done. They were two tough guys.

There is also that damn sissy stylist that Martin found from who knows where. Like a fly, he teaches him how to dress, style himself, and choose jewelry every day. If he doesn't follow the instructions at all, he will be ridiculed. , threatening her that if she didn't obey him, Jeff would lose the election. The man also didn't allow her to brag that she was best at cooking flavored Chinese food, and she could no longer eat food with strong smells, etc.

But even so, Jessica still chose to be tolerant, because she felt that all this was to achieve her husband's dream, and she was willing to be tolerant because she loved her husband.

Tommy was like a savior, and was grabbed by Jessica's sleeve. He cried in embarrassment and told about the changes in his family during this period: "I can tolerate all of this... Tommy, but that damn sissy and damn Martin... …”

"Relax, Jessica, Tommy is right here, speak slowly." Tommy calmly pulled his arm back, then picked up a box of tissues and handed it to Jessica: "What happened? "

Jessica wiped the crying face with a tissue and said frantically: "They want me to pretend to be a patient and lie in bed until Jeff's election is over."

After hearing this, Tommy looked at Martin: "Family relationships cannot have problems."

Martin sounded guilty, but the expression on his face remained calm as he said: "You taught me, Boss, to make the best use of everything. The stylist said, Jessica... Sorry, Jessica, I'm just telling the truth. You are a little out of shape now, and your personality is too conservative and introverted. You are a good wife, but not a good helper. Most importantly, Jeff’s base voters are all vulgar soldiers or poor people. You, and your sister Compared to Gina, that young and pretty beauty, which one of you two has a higher chance of getting the vote when she accompanies Jeff to visit voters, leans over to shake hands, and sincerely asks those lecherous people to vote for Jeff? ?”

After speaking to Jessica, Martin looked at Tommy again: "Those interns have calculated that if Gina goes to vote, the vote will probably increase by 3%-5%."

Hearing the name Gina, Tommy remembered that she was Jessica's young sister. She was young and beautiful, with a hot figure. She was also selected for the cheerleading team in high school. She had a cheerful and outgoing personality and a strong desire for expression.

Jessica, a housewife who has given birth to four children and is out of shape, indeed has no advantage over Gina in terms of image.

"Tommy, I know they all listen to you, including Jeff. Please, don't let them do this to me. You go and persuade Jeff. He has been driven crazy by those veterans and Martin! He wants to go to Washington for Those veterans are fighting for their rights. I can accept him going to Washington, but I can't accept Gina and Jeff appearing together. I love him..." Jessica looked at Tommy with tearful eyes and began to plead.

"Of course I know you love him, Jessica." After Tommy said to Jessica, he turned to Martin and simply ordered:

"It's a good idea, but don't let Jessica lie in bed all the time, causing a car accident and injuring her leg, making Jessica look like she needs to be in a wheelchair temporarily. It would be better if the car accident could be related to the Cubans, so When you need to seduce lechers to vote, let Jeff's sister-in-law Gina show them her vagina. When you need to show the deep love between husband and wife in front of the neighbors, let Jeff show up with the children pushing Jessica in the wheelchair. "

Martin opened his mouth wide. His campaign company just wanted Jessica to lie in bed and pretend to be sick, but his boss was even more cruel. He accidentally ended up in a wheelchair due to a car accident.

Tommy stepped forward and hugged Jessica's head, kissed her forehead gently, then released his hands and said to the already stunned hostess:

"Only one question remains, how much do you love him, Jessica?"