As Yesterday
Chapter 54:
This sentence almost came to the heart of Liu Ci.
At this moment, she suddenly realized that she had never thought about this problem.
Starting from realizing her feelings for He Yu, she concealed it and did not dare to face it, but was secretly upset about the closeness of others to He Yu, and even jealous of He Yu's kindness to others.
Jealousy, hatred, unwillingness, longing... these emotions were mixed and mixed, and in the end they failed to make her brave, but even more fearful.
Does she want?
Never thought about it.
Don't you want to?
I dare not think about it.
Sorrow in advance, judge in advance, there are always people who are born pessimistic, think they can't do it, think they don't deserve it, think they shouldn't.
Not at all, it is the most annoying lotus root. When moved into the work, it is an annoying trait that readers scold at the end of the page and say that they don't deserve to exist.
But after all, it is difficult for onlookers to understand this entanglement.
It's not that I don't want to correct it, but it's nature. There are always people who are hit in succession, but it is difficult to make a little change.
Why should the stone become soft?
It's not a stone.
He Yu didn't hear her words clearly. In this kind of occasion, it would take a little harder for her to be obedient. She uttered an ah.
Liu Ci raised his eyes, looked at He Yu with misty eyes, gritted his teeth and said, "I dare not think."
"You, you have always been very courageous."
She smiled and shook her head, looking at the skewers she was holding, the smell of the meat was wafting, and it was so spicy just by smelling it.
"Liu Ci, are you afraid that I will break with you completely?"
He Yu actually didn't understand, "But when you left, didn't it mean that?"
Liu Ci drank a sip of soda, the sorrow of tears and the smell of soda choked her cheeks so much that she was a little dumb, "I left because I thought you and Lian Xiaoli were inseparable, He Yu, You know my personality, I want to be unique, but since I was young, I have always been a substitute."
Human growth is the process of constantly understanding that one is an ordinary person. This truth is understood by Liu Ci earlier. From not being an only child, from going to school to campaign for class committee, from He Yu's constant new friends, and when she reaches adulthood, she discovers alternatives that can be found everywhere in the world. Without that uniqueness, you will be eliminated immediately.
Her work is her only confidence, and it is also her constant proof of her existence for so many years.
But the original intention was to vent.
"It's not mine, I won't force it."
She looked at He Yu, her profile was more distinct than she was when she was a teenager, the baby's fat faded, and the changes brought about by adulthood follow her temperament like a shadow, making her look like an unhappy person.
But she is a writer, and this bit of sadness and loneliness has become her label, which makes the chasers more and more enthusiastic.
"Furthermore, I guessed what my mother did at that time. It was too sad. Then it was suspicion for several years. When she said it, I didn't know whether it was pain or relief."
Liu Ci closed his eyes, "I always tell myself not to think about you, but that's too difficult He Yu."
"From childhood to adulthood, you were the best to me. Every time you treat me well, I think what to do if you don’t treat me well. Don’t laugh at me. I am like this. I hate myself like this, but I can’t change it, how can I put it?
"Your goodness is nothing for me. How should I weigh and keep you? But when the thought of ‘I hope you treat me well for the rest of my life’ came up, I started...began to be afraid."
"People will grow up, and Ahuang, whom our aunt downstairs raises, will also die. My younger brothers and sisters won't stay with me forever. I don't know what my own is in this lifetime."
He Yu felt pain in her heart. She pursed her mouth, turned her face away, and looked at Liu Ci again. As Liu Ci talked, tears rolled out of her eyes. She didn't know if the glasses were caught by the tears or by the mandarin duck. The heat of the pot made her unable to see the other person's eyes.
"Knowing that I like you is a long time ago..." Liu Ci sniffed. Her hair is very soft, unlike He Yu's. Don't fall behind her ears on her chest. There is a soft one. The arc, "At first I was panicked. I thought I was sick. I didn't dare to see you during that time."
He Yu said, "This is why you indirectly hibernate."
Liu Ci glared at her, and He Yu couldn't see it either. "But you have a big nerve and a great heart, you can't find it at all. I also relax."
He Yu gave a good feed.
Liu Ci said to herself that she spoke in a hurry, dripping her chin while drinking water, and He Yu took a piece of paper to her.
"In fact, I was determined to leave at the beginning. Apart from hearing Lian Xiaoli confess to you, it was because of Sister Sijun."
Liu Ci thought of the fire, the two people who had hugged each other in the back alley, the lazy look of Pensive Jun, the handsome face of Liu Wensheng, and the burnt face of Aunt Liu who was carried out on a stretcher but still kept a weird smile.
"There is no room for that kind of feeling in this world."
Liu Ci paused, "I was so scared at the time, and even thought I was burned to death by the fire, even if the news mentioned that their bodies were still held together."
"Sister Sijun is so good, but the adults in Yanxinglong Lane don't like her, saying that she will not get married after she is over the age to marry, saying that she is devilish, maybe the second wife of a rich man...too ugly "Liu Ci turned her face away, her throat hurts because of her emotions. "Even though this relationship was known to many people because Aunt Liu set fire, many people still think that Sister Sijun did something to Brother Wensheng. I I always dreamed that day, and afterwards I felt a little bit resentful for Brother Wensheng. Many things in this world seem to be women’s fault, and love is also the case. Female universities and males are scornful, but they...what else did they do wrong? Woolen cloth?"
He Yu: "Love is right."
Of course she remembers Shen Sijun and Liu Wensheng, as well as the shock she knew.
But there was nothing more than shock. The two looked so good-matched, Jun Sijun was beautiful, Liu Wensheng was handsome, and He Yu saw the scene of their conversation more than once. He hadn't paid attention before, but after knowing it, thinking about it, he found himself. Actually witnessed it with my own eyes.
Having witnessed Liu Wensheng's eyes looking at Shen Sijun, she herself was afraid of love, but she could still feel the beauty.
"But they were right, but they were still called infamy and turned into other people's after-dinner conversations."
Liu Ci raised his eyes and looked at He Yu, "I was so scared at the time. I was afraid that I would like you to end up like this and it would hurt you. Then just let it go. If you go, if I don't see you, I will forget and let it go. I've passed myself."
He Yu sighed, "Your letting go of yourself means staying up late, catching up on drafts, turning upside down day and night?"
"Liu Ci, you are not a person who can't take care of yourself. You are obviously consuming yourself. You said you love me, but you are so painful, I won't be easy."
"I know!"
Liu Ci said loudly, her tears falling down her cheeks, "So I dare not say that I don't want to be a burden to you, but I am so greedy, and I don't want you to be with others, being a friend of no one else in my life. Would it be better?"
Her pain almost spread to her face. This huge grief directly attacked He Yu. He Yu looked at Liu Ci and she didn't know why love turned into torture.
Torture others, or torture yourself.
"But it's late, Liu Ci, I know, that's why I asked you that."
He Yu grabbed Liu Ci's hand, and Liu Ci was trembling. Fortunately, it was too noisy here, and no one noticed their conversation.
"I don't know... I really don't know, I don't want to force you, and I don't want to..."
Liu Ci bit her lip, and everyone was unsightly when she cried. She looked at He Yu. He Yu rarely saw such Liu Ci. Liu Ci was a person who even cried quietly.
Such hoarse willow poems are too sad.
"Then don't think about it, I won't eat you again."
He Yu wiped her tears, "You just like empathy too much. It's better to be selfish. This will make you a lot happier."
Neither of them tasted the meal. When he went back, He Yu bought a popsicle and iced Liu Ci's face.
"Unhappy, the little snowman will steam your face."
Liu Ci sat silent on the co-pilot.
He Yu sighed and turned on the car music, "Let’s go back first, you look dying, don’t be too nervous, afraid I will drive you out?"
She still looks good.
"He Yu, stop pretending."
Liu Ci held the ice cream in his hand and said, covering his eyes.
He Yu: "At least give me some time to think about it. Suddenly, I feel like I am a fanatic."
As she drove, she sighed, "What is your current behavior? I think you are my friend and you want to sleep with me."
Liu Ci: "I didn't think about..."
I thought about it, a long, long time ago.
Her suspicious pause made He Yu laugh, "Really thought about it, before I slept with you simply, do you really want to sleep like me?"
In fact, when changing to Lian Xiaoli, He Yu couldn't make such a joke. There was always a gap between people. She had thought about how to treat Lian Xiaoli.
Lian Xiaoli was more straightforward than Liu Ci, and later she almost released all the desires, sex, possessiveness, and sense of expectation for He Yu.
He Yu was all over, and she refused to reject each other all the time. The war had been fought for too many years, and finally Lian Xiaoli was exhausted, and after several suicide failures, she collapsed across the board.
Forcing is sometimes a kind of slaughter, and they are all killed by each other.
Thousands of times, the last survivors were not the first each other.
Willow's words: "..."
The car is full of skewers, and He Yu actually didn't eat much. She went to the convenience store downstairs to buy Oden for Liu Ci, and stared at the other person to eat. After all, Liu Ci looked too weak.
The weather started to get cold, and He Yu put a blanket on the rabbit's cage when Liu Ci went to take a bath.
She was holding a glass of water and looked at the night view of the city outside the balcony.
It's another winter.
The cold wind blew her all over with goose bumps, but she was very awake.
She knew that if this hurdle could not be passed, Liu Ci might be the same as Lian Xiaoli.
Why me?
She thought and thought, but she couldn't find a reason. The fate was not clear.
The phone vibrated, and Xie Yongyan’s message came over, and she said--
"When to make an appointment, I can't stay here for a few days."
-Wait the day before you are leaving.
-So cruel?
-Yeah, it's not easy for everyone if you don't be cruel.
-All right.
After a while, Shen You made a phone call and asked He Yu when to go outside to barbecue.
"Look at your friend circle wife taking the kids out for a trip?"
Shen Youqian: "Yes, I'm going to take a break, so I won't take me."
"Is Boss Shen free? Let's have a drink?"
Shen Yougan felt that He Yu had something to do, and he responded.
After Liu Ci blew her hair, she came out and found that He Yu was about to go out. She didn't ask, so she watched.
He Yu: "Lao Shen asked me to drink."
Liu Ci said, "Are you coming back?"
He Yu: "Otherwise, there will be classes tomorrow."
Fearing that Liu Ci was uneasy, He Yu added: "Don't worry, I won't run away without saying a word."
The author has something to say: there will be another update tomorrow morning, and I will change it again.
Oh, so sleepy, everyone can continue watching tomorrow, thank you little angel who voted for me or irrigated the nutrient solution~
Thanks to the little angel who cast [Shallow Water Bomb]: Jiang Lan gave birth to 1;
Thanks for the little angel who cast [Grenade]: 1 jacetsai;
Thank you for the little angel who cast [land mine]: Yueban, the blue sky and the dawn of blood, love, and mustard 1;
Thanks to the little angel who irrigated [nutrient solution]:
Avocado Milk 330, 33 bottles of Yuan Tian Eri; 30 bottles of Ling Yilin; 27 bottles of Little Lion Eating Grass; 20 bottles of Jiang Lansheng; 1160891119 bottles; Grasshopper not awake, Fu Zhi, ARK_Z 10 bottles; Xiaolin's cat, small bean sprouts 5 Bottles; 4 bottles of Chin; 3 bottles of big chen in our house; 2 bottles of Hoshino Remembrance;
Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!
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