Back to 80: My Literary Life

Luo Yihe was the least well-known among the "Three Musketeers of Peking University" and died young. Not many people in later generations knew about him, and his light was overshadowed by Haizi at the same time.

In fact, Luo Yihe is also a talented poet and is now the editor of "October" magazine.

Unlike Xichuan and Haizi who came from peasant families, Luo Yihe came from a famous family and was known in the poetry world as "the last aristocrat in Chinese poetry." His father is Luo Gengmo, the founder of China's accounting system, a famous economist, and the former director of the State Planning Commission (National Development and Reform Commission).

He is three years older than Haizi. Luo Yihe always takes care of this slightly childish "younger brother" like an elder brother.

Historically, after Haizi committed suicide, Luo Yihe was sorting out Haizi's poems and dealing with his funeral affairs. He suddenly died of cerebral hemorrhage two months later.

The diagnosis was caused by congenital malformation of cerebral blood vessels and large-scale intracerebral hemorrhage caused by long-term brain overuse.

Different from Haizi's slovenly and slightly neurotic temperament, the young man in front of him has side-parted hair, clean, sunny and handsome.

When he saw Haizi coming in, he immediately stood up and asked, "Haizi, Xichuan said that you want to commit suicide, is it true? Why do you want to commit suicide?!"

Perhaps after meeting his close friend, Haizi, who was silent along the way, said: "What's the point of my life? Someone wants to harm me, so Bo Wan ignores me."

As he said this, Haizi had a sad smile on his face.

"You are stupid, Haizi." Luo Yihe became excited and his eyes widened, "You still have parents and relatives, you still have us, and you still have poetry!"

"Yihe, don't get excited, speak slowly." Luo Yihe's lover Zhang Wan hurriedly advised.

Fang Minghua met Luo Yihe's wife for the first time, a cheerful-looking woman. Xichuan said that Zhang Wan did not come from an ordinary family. Her father was the president of China Map Publishing House.

"Editor Fang, sit down, sit down." Xichuan greeted quickly: "What is going on?"

Fang Minghua briefly told the story, but only said that he met Haizi while walking on the railway, and didn't mention a word about what happened before.

Nishikawa was a little suspicious. Why did you go on a business trip and take a walk on the railway?

But it is true that Haizi committed suicide, including the suicide note in Haizi's schoolbag.

"Thank you so much, thank you, thank you for saving him." Nishikawa said gratefully.

"Why are you so polite?" Fang Minghua said, then glanced at Haizi and said, "Xichuan, come out, I'll tell you something."

Everyone understood immediately and followed Fang Minghua out of the dormitory to the stairs, leaving Haizi alone in the room.

"I'm worried about Haizi's mental problems."

Fang Minghua spoke very directly. Xichuan and the others were all smart people, and they immediately understood the other meaning of Fang Minghua's words.

If there is really a mental problem and this suicide attempt fails, there will be a second and third time!

"Okay, I'll take Haizi to the Sixth Hospital of Yanda immediately."

The Sixth Hospital of Yenching University is a famous psychiatric hospital in the country.

"It's best to invite Haizi's parents to Yanjing." Fang Minghua reminded: "Only family members have the right to decide on some matters."

"Understood, I understand." Xi Chuan nodded quickly.

However, what does it mean once diagnosed and sent to a mental hospital?

Several people didn't dare to think about it anymore.

"To be honest, I really can't imagine that Haizi would reach this point." Luo Yihe beside him couldn't hold it in anymore and sighed with emotion.

Zhang Wan next to him looked very calm.

"Haizi's mental state, you said, if he develops like this, suicide will be a matter of time."

"Editor Fang, maybe you think what I said is a bit cold. I have seen several people commit suicide." Zhang Wan said.

"When I was a freshman at Yan State University, a female classmate of mine hanged herself in the dormitory. The female classmate was one day shy of turning 17."

"In 1985, Yihe's classmate named Zhao Shiren, whom Xi Chuan also knew, jumped into the Miyun Reservoir and drowned. At that time, Yihe and I both went to see him."

Zhang Wan said calmly.

"Some people say that college students are the favored sons of heaven, and the students of YSU are even more favored among the favored sons. In fact, they are very fragile inside. Their ideals are incompatible with reality, and they are angry, confused, worried, and desperate."

"Life is only a few decades, and you can live it in a daze, but people with more knowledge often live too soberly. The more sober they are, the more painful they are. In the end, they can only escape through death."

"I sometimes joke with Yihe that the era of poetry that belongs to you is almost over. You three swordsmen of Yan, put down the sword in your hands. Times have changed, but you have not changed. Sooner or later, this sword will hurt yourselves. ”

Fang Minghua listened quietly and said nothing.

After Zhang Wan finished speaking, Fang Minghua said that since Haizi was okay for the time being, he was ready to return to Xijing.

"Oh, by the way, Yihe." Fang Minghua suddenly thought of something and looked at Luo Yihe: "You'd better go to the hospital for a checkup. I'm not saying that you have a mental problem like Haizi, but that your body, especially your head, needs to be checked. CT or something, I don’t think you look good.”

"Editor Fang, you are too scary. I am in good health." Luo Yihe said with a smile. He did not believe Fang Minghua's words at all.

Fang Minghua sighed inwardly and said, "It's better to be careful. I'm leaving. Goodbye!"

"We'll see you off."

The three of them sent Fang Minghua downstairs. Watching Fang Minghua leave in a hurry with his travel bag, Zhang Wan suddenly shouted.

"Editor Fang?"

Fang Minghua stopped and turned around to look at her: "What's the matter?"

"Did you really go to Shanhaiguan for a meeting?"

Fang Minghua looked at her, smiled and said nothing, turned and left, his back disappeared around the corner.

"Hey, Xichuan, you and Minghua are more together, is he like this usually? Why do I feel that he is very mysterious today." Luo Yihe said.

"Mysterious? I feel a little bit today. It is a bit incredible that he can save Haizi's life in Shanhaiguan." Xichuan also said. "But he is indeed a very warm-hearted person to his friends."

The two chatted casually and prepared to return upstairs, but saw Zhang Yan staring blankly at the door, not knowing what he was thinking.

"Zhang Yan, what's wrong? Go up." Luo Yihe urged.

Zhang Yan suddenly woke up and said to her husband: "These two days, take another leave, I will accompany you to the hospital for a physical examination."

"Do you really believe what Minghua said?" Luo Yihe laughed.

"Hmm!" Zhang Yan's expression was very serious: "Didn't you just say that saving Haizi was such an incredible thing? Maybe there are more incredible things? Listen to me, come with me to check!"

Three days later, Luo Yihe was dragged by his wife to the cerebrovascular department of Yanjing Tiantan Hospital for examination. The result surprised the couple: Luo Yihe suffered from congenital cerebral vascular malformation. Excessive fatigue or emotional excitement could easily induce cerebral hemorrhage and needed surgery as soon as possible.

Time goes back to that day.

Fang Minghua said goodbye to Xichuan and others, and did not return to Xijing immediately. Instead, he took a taxi to his own courtyard in Liuya Hutong, Shichahai. Since he was here, he had to come and see.

Sitting in the car, Fang Minghua looked at the busy traffic outside and thought about Haizi.

Haizi's life is not in danger for the time being, so what about the future?