Being an Extra Actor in an Escape Game

The mission workers in the narrow building know that this is the end because they can certainly understand this when they look back from this moment. But at first, no one knew.

They just feel that there are more lunatics around them, there are more murders in the news, there are more quarrels in the community, the traffic jams on the road have become more serious, and there are more patients in the hospital. The number of illnesses has also increased a lot.

That's all.

Even so, it is difficult for people to imagine that this is an apocalypse.

Who would think this is the end? That was the life they were used to, a small change of variables in the life they were used to, nothing more.

They don't think it's the end of the world, they don't even think their lives have changed.

They just think, geez, why are there so many fools in the world.

Then we talked casually after tea and dinner, and then randomly changed the subject.

Things changed little by little.

Xu Beijin learned about the death of his parents probably in the winter of that year. His parents went to a warmer place in the south to spend the winter.

They said they were coming back for the Chinese New Year, but it seems they won’t come back because they can’t buy a plane ticket.

Xu Bei thought as boredly as he could at the time, then it seemed like he wouldn't have to watch the Spring Festival Gala, which became more and more boring every year, right? My parents are not at home anyway...

Then he couldn't see it anymore.

At that moment, he thought, what does separation between life and death mean? He was always separated from his parents and seemed to have no clear feelings. His parents were always far away from him, probably on the other side of the world.

At this moment, they are on the other side of the world.

Now Xu Beijin's dream is replaying a similar scene. Winter, snow, the death of his parents.

However, Xu Beijing felt like he was watching all this indifferently from a high position.

Why?

Because he doesn't remember.

Everyone thought that he still remembered what happened in the apocalypse, that he had relevant memories, and that he "remembered" everything that happened from the time the madness spread to the time humans entered the narrow building.

They thought he "remembered" the past of this man named Xu Beijin.

But actually he doesn't remember.

He just "knows". Unlike other missionaries who have no idea about their past, Xu Beijing clearly "knows" what happened in his past. However, he didn't have any sense of immersion or picture.

Of course his memory was cut off at the moment before the end. It was an ordinary afternoon. He was sitting on the recliner reading a book. His parents came back from a rare occasion and were discussing where to spend the winter downstairs.

Then, remember the breakpoint. A huge, dark abyss lay across his brain.

And then there were the things he knew. Trivial, complicated, disgusting. Among them are his own and others'. He always remembered this, he couldn't forget it.

But sometimes he wonders, is that really his experience?

Did he really receive the news of his parents' death in a snowy winter? Is that exactly what happened?

And what about the other people in his memory? Is this really the case in their past?

When he says that "memory can sometimes be a curse," he's not just referring to his own past, but also to the past that he "knows" about other people in his memory.

These memories always make Xu Bei feel a huge sense of despair and helplessness, like falling into an abyss.

If it was true, then there was nothing he could do to save everything.

And if it is false, then what is real?

He quietly watched the illusory, dream-like scene in front of him, flashing by like a revolving lantern.

He suddenly felt a little strange. After all, he had no idea about his "past", but his brain could interpret it so vividly.

At this moment, a special idea suddenly came to his mind.

He wondered, was he going to die?

Doesn’t it mean that people will have hallucinations before death? The past life fragments will flash back in front of you bit by bit like a revolving lantern. In the moment of death, look back on the past.

However, Xu Beijin burst into laughter.

He didn't really smile, he just noticed that some kind of uncontrollable, crazy laughter was spreading in his mind, and he felt that he was amused by something. What exactly is that?

In fact, he didn't know very well. He just felt ridiculous and funny, sad and bitter.

So he thought he should smile.

Then he thought of Ringo's words.

"If you don't want to laugh, you don't have to laugh."

So that smile was as strange as when it came, and when it went away, it was just as fast.

There was a subtle indifference in his heart, as if he was having a lucid dream. He thought he should wake up.

But he couldn't wake up.

He seemed to be trapped by something, something...for a long time...

What could trap him in a narrow building?

Then Xu Beijin suddenly understood. He seemed to have really spoken, or maybe he was just silently muttering in his mind: "NE. Let me leave. Let me solve all this."