British writer

The assassination of an American president is no small matter.

Time passes very slowly, like quicksand stuck in an hourglass, like asphalt.

August 15th, early morning.

Lu Shi got up early and looked around the dormitory.

Unexpectedly, Wodehouse did not sit by the window and read the newspaper as usual, but looked at the scenery outside the window.

His eyes were far away, and he didn't know what he was thinking about.

Lu Shi coughed lightly,

"Jazz?"

Wodehouse came to his senses and handed over a copy of the New York Times.

Headlines on the front page——

"United States President William McKinley Dies".

Lu Shi: "..."

Although the exact date of McKinley's assassination is not known in history, he remembers that the Pan-American Exposition in Buffalo was being held at the time.

That should be in September.

But now, it is undoubtedly ahead of schedule.

This is obviously another self-induced butterfly effect.

Lu Shi asked: "What was the reason why the president was assassinated?"

Wodehouse shook his head;

"The newspapers didn't say that."

As he spoke, he pushed a sandwich over and said, "Eat something first, and then pack your luggage. We should go back around tomorrow."

At this juncture, it is indeed inappropriate for the two of them to continue to stay in the United States.

Lu Shi took a shower, then had breakfast and read reports.

——

When McKinley was visiting the union at the Port of Buffalo, an anarchist and unemployed worker named Gyorgos from a Polish immigrant family pretended to be a fan and squeezed into the crowd. Under the pretense of shaking hands with the president, he suddenly pulled out his hidden gun. The pistol he carried shot the president twice in the abdomen, causing the latter to be seriously injured.

Due to misdiagnosis by quack doctors and the poor conditions of the hospital where he was treated, McKinley died at the age of 58.

——

Lu Shi was a little confused.

"Quack doctor? Misdiagnosis by quack doctor?"

For a moment he thought he had made a mistake.

The corners of Wodehouse's mouth raised a subtle arc,

"What's going on here... hum..."

He whispered: "The doctor only found and removed one bullet during the operation, and then sutured the wound."

Lu Shi:? ? ?

"Can it still be like this?"

He was completely shocked,

"Weren't two gunshots clearly heard at the scene?"

Wodehouse spread his hands and said: "I don't know the specific situation. I only know that from the autopsy results, one of the two bullets penetrated the president's stomach, and the other remained in the body and was not found, but the doctor The operation was declared a success.”

Lu Shi was speechless,

grass!

Ten thousand grass and mud horses galloped through his heart.

No wonder modern Americans are anti-intellectual and like conspiracy theories.

It’s hard to say that there isn’t some conspiracy here.

In comparison, "Upside Down" is not absurd enough, and "Yes!" Prime Minister" is not ironic enough.

For absurdist drama, you have to look to the United States.

Lu Shi asked: "Sir, where did you hear the news?"

Wodehouse chuckled;

"British affairs officers are not just people who only work. In short, the cause of the president's death should be ulceration caused by the bullet in the body."

Lu Shi pondered,

"You said 'should'?"

Wodehouse could only smile bitterly;

"Yes, that's 'should'. After all, the medical level is limited. Without an open stomach, no one can accurately diagnose the presence of bullets in the president's body. Inferring the cause of death is even more mysterious. But from the results to the cause, this should be the most reasonable explanation. .”

In other words, when the doctor completed the suturing without removing the bullet, it was equivalent to a death sentence for McKinley.

Lu Shi thought of Theodore again.

In October 1912, Theodore was assassinated during a campaign event in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

The bullet hit his speech script and the frame of his glasses before entering his chest.

But Theodore refused to be hospitalized and insisted on completing the 90-minute powerful speech.

His original words were:

"

I don't know if you've heard of it, but I just took one shot, but it wasn't enough to kill a buck.

"

The doctor's diagnosis and treatment believed that removing the bullet would cause greater danger.

As a result, Theodore's body carried bullets throughout his life.

Lu Shi spat out garbled words: "! @* # ￥%..."

Wodehouse asked: "What's the matter?"

Lu Shi said: "Nothing. I just think the United States is a bit too wild and always leaves a bullet in its body."

Wodehouse glanced at him curiously, but did not investigate further.

He changed the subject and said, "You just asked me why the president was assassinated. What do you think?"

Lu Shi looked at the report again,

The identity of the assassin,

Polish immigrants,

anarchist,

unemployed workers,

…

At this point in 1901, the buff stack was almost full.

Lu Shi thought deeply,

During McKinley's term as president, it was a time when U.S. monopoly capital was forming and began to expand aggressively abroad.

His policies of increasing tariffs and stabilizing the currency, coupled with other measures, greatly improved the U.S. economy, earning him the reputation of the "Prosperity President."

Lu Shi said: "The reason for his assassination should be his reforms."

Wodehouse nodded,

"I also hold the same view. In the reform process, the president paid too much attention to the interests of big capitalists and plutocrats, while ignoring the interests of workers, farmers, urban proletarians and other vulnerable groups. This led to his death."

British people are very clear when analyzing other people, but they are confused when it comes to their own problems.

This can also be regarded as a traditional art.

Lu Shi held back his laughter and asked, "So, Mr. Roosevelt has succeeded as president?"

Wodehouse nodded slowly,

"Yes, he's done with his vacation."

There was a hint of irony in this statement.

Wodehouse hesitated for a moment and whispered: "I have another piece of news, I don't know whether I should tell it to you."

Lu Shi was curious,

"you say."

Wodehouse said: "The criminal...well..."

Lu Shi glanced at the newspaper and reminded: "The assassin's name is Leon Giorgos."

Wodehouse glanced at Lu Shi,

"'Assassin'... is really a title with a sense of justice."

In fact, Giorgos was charged with first-degree murder;

He readily admitted his guilt and waived his right to defend himself for assassinating the President because he believed it was his duty,

Since he confessed, the trial was not difficult and ended in only 8 hours.

Wodehouse continued: "Before he lost his job, Giorgos worked for a chess equipment company. The company's name seems to be 'Winning Moves'. The main sales area is the eastern seaboard of the United States. The company's products are of high quality and have been well received. Great reviews from many players.”

Winning Moves,

Translated as "winning move", it is frequently used in chess.

Lu Shi pondered,

"Any questions?"

Wodehouse pointed to the "Monopoly" box set on the table.

"See for yourself."

Lu Shi: "..."

A strange premonition arose in my heart.

He turned the box over,

Game designers: Lu (first designer), George Pike, Edward Pike;

Publisher: Parker Brothers;

Manufacturer: Winning Moves.

…

Sure enough.

Lu Shi couldn't help but blush and said, "Don't tell me...hiss..."

He felt toothache.

Wodehouse chuckled.

"Well... I can't say for sure, so I can only infer. But judging from the existing evidence, this inference seems to be not bad."

Of course Lu Shi could follow the plot and make up the plot.

Giorgos, who was originally a dock worker, lost his job and had to work as a temporary worker in the Winning Moves factory to make chess sets.

At this time, Winning Moves cooperates with Parker Brothers, or it is not a cooperation, but a simple entrustment relationship between Party A and Party B.

Anyway, Winning Moves got the job and started working on Monopoly,

During this period, Giorgos realized the greed of human nature.

He discovered that his co-worker was obviously a proletarian, but he liked to kill others while playing games.

He fell into despair,

then,

Bang! Bang!

"hiss……"

Lu Shi's back molars hurt even more.

Thinking that McKinley was assassinated earlier, he couldn't help but think about it.

Wodehouse's smile grew darker;

"There are fixed numbers and variables in the development of anything. During the development process, its trajectory has rules to follow, but there are also unmeasured 'variables'."

This thing is here again,

When encountering something in the United States, analyze it quickly and neatly;

When it comes to the UK, it’s just “Huh?”, “This…”, “Uh…”.

Lu Shi said: "I really want to go back to London this afternoon."

Wodehouse was stunned for a long time.

immediately,

"Hahahahahaha!"

He laughed wildly.

Lu Shi couldn't help but laugh too, and said, "It's really a loss of merit for the two of us to tell jokes about hell and still laugh like this."

Wodehouse laughed still more,

"Lu, you are the most interesting person I have known in my life. Maybe one day a hundred years from now, descendants will compile my memoirs and see you in them, and find that you are related to many major events and turning points in the world. You will definitely very interesting."

The Queen of England is doing well,

The President of the United States was assassinated,

If this kind of thing appears in Wodehouse's memoirs and is related to Lu Shi, it will only be regarded as a conspiracy theory by future generations, right?

Lu Shi chuckled,

"Then it's over. Your memoir must be criticized by the academic community."

Unexpectedly, Wodehouse retorted seriously: "That's impossible. You guy, your status in the academic world is ridiculously high, how could your successors slander the founder? I think they will definitely look for clues to confirm me Memoirs."

This flattery made Lu Shi feel comfortable all over.

Lu Shi waved his hands repeatedly,

"Not to the point~ not to the point~"

Wodehouse: ‘(ˉ▽￣~)Tch~~’

He stretched and said, "However, we should indeed return to London earlier. Of course, it is impossible today and we have to leave tomorrow. But, have you considered going to Washington, D.C.? Mr. President may want to meet you. .”

Lu Shi: "Ah this..."

Only then did he remember that he had not seen any specific reports on Theodore's succession as president.

Seeing his confusion, Wodehouse explained: "In the United States...how should I put it...the vice president's succession to the president is usually an unexpected event, so it is relatively low-key and there is no inauguration ceremony."

This is true,

Whether it was McKinley who was "gutted" or Kennedy who was "brained\

,"Their successors were sworn in secret.

Historically, after Theodore heard about McKinley's death, he went to the room where the late president's body was placed, and only bowed his head in silence for a few minutes.

He was later sworn in as the 26th President of the United States in the library of his close friend Ainsley Wilcox, a mile away from the house where McKinley's body was laid.

This is quite "informal".

Lu Shi pondered for a moment,

"Forget it, let's not go. We will go back to London directly tomorrow."

Wodehouse nodded,

"Then let's go south first, starting from New York State. I think if you have anything to do, you can discuss it with Goodman first and entrust him with full authority to handle all your cooperation matters in the United States. That guy looked very arrogant. , I like speculation, but in front of a powerful person like you, I won’t play any tricks.”

Lu Shi said "hmm\

,""I thought so too."

The two stopped discussing these serious topics and chatted about "Monopoly" while eating breakfast.

Parker Brothers sent a telegram saying that the game had become popular in Massachusetts and sold more than 3,000 copies.

This is a terrifying statistic.

The most important thing is that the game has begun to radiate to the surrounding areas,

If this development continues, it will soon sweep across the Eastern United States.

Wodehouse commented on this: "The vast majority of people do not hate capitalists, they just hate that capitalists are not themselves."

The two were chatting,

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door outside,

"Professor Lu?"

The voice sounded familiar.

Lu Shi went over to open the door and found Franklin Roosevelt standing outside.

Behind him were two students, playing with a camera.

Franklin said: "Professor Lu, I heard that you are ending your trip in the United States. We at the Crimson Newspaper would like to conduct an in-depth interview with you. I don't know..."

Lu Shi pondered for a moment,

"What are the main aspects of the interview?"

Franklin handed over a list and said at the same time: "Professor Lu, we have studied the interview column of the Mirror. The Crimson also hopes to carry out similar reforms. I hope you will give me your advice. Thank you very much."

Lu Shi glanced at the list.

The above questions are not serious. They mainly involve global university rankings, the design of tabletop games such as "The Fifteen Years of Wanli" and "Monopoly".

The only troublesome thing is

One is the racial issue;

The second is that the president "passed away."

Lu Shi said: "You won't ask about "Upside Down", right?"

Franklin laughed: "Of course not. "Upside Down" is only suitable for performances in colleges and universities, not for the public. We still know this."

Lu Shi thought for a while,

"Okay, I'm willing to be interviewed."

He turned and winked at Wodehouse.

Wodehouse nodded.

So, Lu Shi left with several reporters from the Crimson Newspaper and went to a small storage room nearby.

"It's a little quieter here," Franklin said.

After that, he began to instruct others to take photos for Lu Shi, while Lu Shi was familiar with the problem in advance.

After about fifty minutes, the photo shoot ended.

The interview officially begins.

Franklin asked according to the list: "Professor Lu, you are going back to London soon. How do you feel about this trip to the United States?"

Lu Shi replied: "It feels okay, at least...well..."

He paused,

Because the pen in Franklin’s hand was writing like crazy:

Lu Shi, the greatest novelist and historian across the century,

At the same time, he is also a respected poet, linguist, and educator.

His handsome face is unforgettable.

His dark eyes...

"etc!"

Lu Shi finally couldn't stand it anymore and said, "Mr. Roosevelt, there's no need to make it so disgusting, right?"

Franklin smiled,

"Professor Lu, your reputation at Harvard University is very high now. If you don't write in a crude way, it will not fit in with most people's understanding of you."

He folded the page he had written and said, "You don't have to worry about me."

Lu Shi: "..."

You don’t flatter me like this!

It feels like the other party is not reporting, but trying to create a buzz.

Lu Shi said: "You...uh...control it."

Franklin nodded,

"Okay, I'll try to control it."

He glanced at the list of questions and said: "Concerning the United States, we might as well talk about the recent major events. What do you think of the former president, Mr. William McKinley? Do you know him?"

Lu Shi replied: "Mr. McKinley was a 'prosperous president' and his contribution to the American economy made him famous in history."

Franklin blinked,

"Of course, this title of 'Prosperity President' may also be the reason for his assassination."

Lu Shi said helplessly: "Mr. Roosevelt, your words won't be published in the newspaper, right?"

Franklin nodded,

"Of course not. But I can't guarantee that your words will go unreported."

Lu Shi is in the media himself, how could he not understand?

It can only be said that Americans themselves are unambiguous when telling jokes about hell.