China Entertainment's performance is king

I don't have a father anymore.

My father, in my memory, has always been an upright person. Although his education to me was suppressive, when I think about it carefully, he has never touched me. Even if he was particularly angry, he would only be sarcastic.

And I know that his behavior was just to motivate me to make progress, but I let him down. Probably because although I was afraid of him since I was a child, I was actually mentally confident. After all, I knew subconsciously that he would not do anything to me.

I know that he feels guilty towards me. There used to be an iron rice bowl of an environmental protection unit. More than ten years ago, a relative was able to help me run it.

But at that time, the income from this kind of iron rice bowl was not even half of what I was earning at that time. I didn’t know much about the system. My father told me to let my sister go and ask my relatives to help me find a better job. I readily agreed.

But in the follow-up, I was busy having fun and didn't care about work at all. I spent all night surfing the Internet every day, wasting my time, and was very depressed.

Later, my relatives did not help me succeed. At that time, management was tightened, and there was no chance at all. In addition, the iron rice bowl became more and more popular later, which formed a sharp contrast to my subsequent desolation.

I actually know that my father regrets it in his heart. He favors boys over girls. Although he also likes my sister, I know better that he wants me to become a good person. An opportunity has been missed.

This is actually quite normal. After all, women have no worries about getting married. But I am a single man, at the bottom of society, and have been wandering around outside for many years, wasting time. As I get older and can no longer afford it, He probably regretted not letting me go to the work unit at that time.

In fact, my true inner thoughts at that time were the same as his. After all, I still wanted to play at that time and didn't have many ideas about the future. Therefore, I very much agreed with my father's proposal.

Thinking about it carefully, my father at that time was not arbitrary. He first heard that I didn’t want to go, and then suggested that my sister go. My little cleverness seemed ridiculous to him. After all, he had watched me since he was a child. I grew up, but I didn’t say it explicitly.

In fact, although he is the head of the family and appears to be arbitrary, he has never tried to push me away. For example, he asked me to go to college, but I was fed up with school life and refused.

As time went by, I left the job at that time. I studied mechatronics before, but I still don’t know what this thing is. After I came out, I learned lathe engineering from another relative.

Later, I didn’t feel like working at all, so I went home to rest for a year, but my father didn’t say anything, and said that I left home too early, so I went home to rest for a while.

Later, I found another job. I had no education or ability, so I could only do hard work. Later, because I could endure hardship, I worked as a warehouse manager and driver in a small private workshop.

I worked quietly like this for a few years until the end of 2018 when I resigned again and stayed in a rented house for the entire year of 2019, but my father thought I was still working.

In fact, after working for so many years, he never asked me for a penny, and he also knew that I spent a lot of money, so he didn't say anything.

He is disappointed in me, but he is also guilty of me. After so many years of working in my sister's job, the salary seems to be about the same, but an iron rice bowl and benefits are beyond the imagination of ordinary people.

I carefully concealed my small thoughts at the time, and occasionally stabbed him with this, but he didn't say anything. Now that I think about it, I'm quite cowardly and ridiculous.

After lying in the back for a long time, I don't want to work at all. Simply, I have a hobby since I was a child, reading novels.

I have been reading martial arts novels such as Wo Long Sheng, Li Liang, or Anonymous since I was a kid in the third grade. In 2006, when I stayed up all night at an Internet cafe, I came across the Qidian Chinese website.

To be honest, at the time I thought this website was colorful. I had already forgotten the name of the first website, Little Pervert.

Reading online novels has become my habit for so many years, no matter how busy I am, I have to read them, regardless of genre.

Until 2019, I was lying down for a year. I really was lying down. Most people who can read novels should be able to accept loneliness. I read a book a day, or a book every two days. In the second half of the year, I came into contact with "Movie Elegance".

I had too much time at that time, so when I read novels, I could only read one book at a time, and I kept reading novels of one type until I got tired of them.

Of course, "Movie Elegance" is not the first entertainment novel I read. I read it a long time ago, when the mainstream of entertainment novels was still in the Hong Kong film and television industry.

There were many types of novels that I loved to read at that time, and entertainment novels were just one of them. But in 2019, I had too much time. I saw one genre and had the idea of ​​writing a book. I was afraid of working, but I also wanted to make money. , but only wrote a few hundred words.

Why is the protagonist of my first novel named Wang Zheng? This name has no protagonist character at all. It was originally chosen casually and I didn’t want to change it later.

Then, I had good luck with my first novel, or maybe I was too persistent. I only signed a contract for 300,000 words, and started making money, so I just started writing novels.

Of course, this is not my main business, but with the well-known nationwide retreat, this has become my only income.

It can be seen that my father is happy that I can make money by writing novels. Although I feel embarrassed, he can proudly tell anyone about it.

Later, I opened the book "Performance is King". This novel is the complete opposite of "Light and Shadow Entertainment". Some people say that I, Wang Zheng, am too pretentious, so I will write a novel that is extremely romantic.

This book is very successful. Although I am a bit verbose at the beginning, the simple character design is okay. It is somewhat famous among genre novels, and the update speed is very fast. This is also the reason.

Then the bad news came. On March 5th of this year, my father went for a CT scan because of a long-term cough. It was lung cancer. I didn't expect it at first. After all, he was coughing too much at the time, so he just let go.

At that time, my father and I went directly to the authoritative hospital in this province to check and confirm the diagnosis. During this nearly month of staying with me in bed, I numbed myself, and it cost me thousands every day.

But there will always be times when I wake up. My father is too thin and he is discovered too late. Surgery cannot be performed. He does not dare to do radiotherapy and chemotherapy. Targeted drugs are not matched. I go to BJ Union Medical College Hospital. God, I just dealt with this matter. I was a little impulsive at the time, and I felt sorry for many people.

But I was too anxious at the time. My father's illness was like a mountain on my heart, and the pressure was too great.

Simply put, he was also afraid of surgery, so he sought treatment from a Chinese medicine doctor, but, how should I put it, a terminal illness was a terminal illness, and he couldn't control it at all, and he was bedridden for six months.

I often regret. I regret not being too kind to my father last year. This is said to require a quiet environment. I am also procrastinating. I often don’t start writing until evening. I lose my temper when I am affected. A spoiled child always Very shameless.

I regret it now. I regret that when my father wanted to smoke two days ago, I didn't give it to him. I still held on to the hope that he could stand up.

When he was lying on the bed asking for a cigarette, I was very sad. A man who was arbitrary and arbitrary became very pitiful. He was really old.

His health is getting worse and worse. I actually already know what's going on, and he should also know how frightened he will be when he sees death coming day by day.

I regret very much. I regret that when he talked to me at night, I told him to have a good rest and ignored him. I regret very much, I regret that I was ever so bored with him. I even thought about whether the treatment was worth it.

I was also under a lot of pressure. Traditional Chinese medicine was too expensive, and since he was not hospitalized, the outpatient quota had been exhausted early. I even thought about whether it was worth the money. Although I thought about it, I didn’t hesitate when it came time to spend the money. Pass.

I regretted that I didn't accompany my father to talk about what was in my heart. When he left me at 2:36 noon today, I realized that even if he was lying down, he had always been the pillar of support.

When he was here, even if he was sick or something happened, he could not find me. But when I realized that my mother and I would depend on each other from now on, I had to grow up.

My mother is a disabled person. She is deaf and mute. She is very clever but cannot speak. I am not embarrassed by this. I was even embarrassed to tell others before because I felt embarrassed.

In fact, the most embarrassing thing is me. I am moody and I give out my temper to my family and my readers and friends who support me.

In fact, I numbed myself in March. After March, when I learned about my father’s illness, I no longer had the joy of writing a book. What follows is a rough plot, and people who are careful should be able to see it.

My father is gone, and I don't know what will happen in the future. Now, I can only be strong by myself, and my mother still wants me to support her.

Dad, I will love you forever, don't worry, I will take good care of you, Mom.

This extremely long request for leave is not so much a request for leave as it is an essay about missing my father. There are many digressions, but today is a day that I will never forget in my life.

Thank you for your support all the way. The update is uncertain these days, but I will definitely continue to write. This is already my profession.

I'm not selling miserably, but the miserable White Wolf Lang is also China Entertainment Xiaobai, thank you for your support.