Comprehensive View: Married to wife Zhao Mosheng, but she did not consummate the marriage

I never thought that when I was a student, I would have thoughts about liking or loving a girl. Because it won't come to fruition, I've always been pessimistic about my love in school. Whenever I see a couple in the school who are tired of being together, I will show a rather unhappy expression, and then I feel disdainful. And when I see this scene again many years later, I still have this expression, but I am envious in my heart.

Because the school arranges for boarding students to go for a morning run every morning, they have to get up early every day. At 6:14, the playground was bustling with people, and the noisy words accompanied by deafening music made people want to escape. Even if there is no noisy speech after the start, the crowded queue and the fast and slow pace still make people want to escape. Because of my height, I was in the third row (although I was short, but not the shortest), and it was really uncomfortable to run in it, so I ran to the back of the line and ran along, which was really comfortable. The tall classmates in the back blocked most of my view, but I vaguely caught a figure in the crowd, probably her, with a tall ponytail and a white side face. I pushed my legs up as hard as I could, watching her float up and down with the crowd. I would never have imagined that such a scene of silent observation would continue throughout my junior high school life, and this is definitely something that someone like me would do.

A girl with a high ponytail and a smile on her face approached me. When I made eye contact with her, I instinctively lowered my head and began to dodge. Again, Xiao Luo is really strange. I could only respond with a little embarrassment: No, I'm just not sociable. This time she was finally less enthusiastic, and she said a little helplessly, okay! and walked away. If only I could be like Osamu Dazai, I could be ugly to please others even with people I hate, but I can't do it, and it makes me feel even more disgusting to be entertained like a monkey. I don't need to please others, I just need to live silently alone, without thinking about others, without being affected by the emotions brought by others. If there is nothing to worry about, it is a good time in the world.

On the second day of school, there was no formal class, everyone began to move books, and the temporary class committee took a group of people to move back a large number of books, and there were more junior high school subjects, and there were more books. On the contrary, when I go home in the future, my school bag will never be as plump as it was in elementary school. When the book was issued, everyone was still chattering, yes, just like an animal at the end of hibernation, meeting spring. The fatigue of carrying books did not stop this scene. Feeling that it was too noisy, he walked out of the classroom alone, through the playground surrounded by old trees, and across the overpass. As the noise became quieter, it was found that it was already far away from the teaching area. Walking down the bridge, I came to a landscape, full of trees for people to see, I don't know what these trees are called, about a story high, and there is a nutrient solution, maybe not long after transplanting here. Most of the branches are luxuriant, but there is also no lack of dead wood residues, slender branches, dark red leaves shade the sun gradually moving westward, giving people a burst of coolness, so that the plants under the trees are not paralyzed by the sun, but high-spirited. There are also a few fruits that are as dark red as the leaves, and you can't really see them if you don't look closely. The trail leads to a pond that is home to the ornamental fish, with two ponds connected to each other, one inlet and one outlet, and the flow of water makes the pond not as silent as a stagnant water, and the fish seem to be more cheerful. This can't help but remind people of the story of "Zifei Fish Anzhi Fish", but I think that the fish in this pond must be happy, they don't know that it is because of human factors that make them appear here, they are imprisoned here, and they can never escape. A thinking person will involuntarily feel that he is locked in a cage from which he cannot escape, and no one has the same ability to think, and he will not feel that he is imprisoned here, as long as he has food to live and can be satisfied. This pond is their cage, and life is my cage. There can never be escape.

Before I knew it, it was dusk, and because my husband was going to come to the classroom at night to explain things, I slowly began to walk back. Walking up the overpass and across the playground, the pale gold of the setting sun stained the last of the sunset, like a red leaf about to fall on the top of a distant mountain, imprinted on my back.

Walking up to the teaching building and coming to the door of the classroom, the sunset was imprinted on her face through the doors and windows, and the white face had a little red makeup, with the refreshing ponytail giving people a natural and fresh atmosphere from the inside out. At this time, the words such as pink makeup and jade, beautiful and wise, ice muscles, jade bones, red lips and white teeth, like flowers and jade, came to my mind, no! None of these are enough to describe what I saw at this moment, and finally I only spit out one sentence, so beautiful! What is so beautiful? She looked at me with a smile. I suddenly came back to my senses and had to reply in embarrassment: nothing. She didn't seem to pay attention to it, and asked me where I had gone, and the books were all sorted out for me and put on the table. I thanked her and sat down. I began to take the initiative to talk, why hasn't my husband come yet, isn't he going to talk about things? Isn't this still in class, what's the urgency about this matter, so soon the nickname for my husband has been unified. I smiled and said, this is the most tacit understanding between new classmates, isn't it?(I actually laughed at this is not something I should have done) hahaha~ Indeed, she also laughed.

After the class bell rang, my husband came in with the class schedule, and his face was gloomy, which made the students quiet down quickly and unprecedentedly. I won't talk about it before, but after class, I will be quickly quieted down, you know? We replied neatly under her majesty: Okay! Then she posted the class schedule on the display board, explained that the class would start tomorrow, reminded us of the discipline problem, and explained other trivial matters, and then let us read the books in the classroom by ourselves, and learned about the subjects to be taught, and then went back to the office.

Lying in bed at night, I kept thinking about the scene at dusk, a kind of clear water out of hibiscus, the natural beauty of natural carving, without any impurities.