Confession

After this conviction was over, there was no sound in the field.

No one spoke, many people fell into the emotion of this letter, more or less thinking of the person they liked in high school, like the summer wind, piles of test papers on the table, and the figure chasing after running.

Suddenly, Xu Sui's cell phone rang sharply, breaking the silence. Xu Sui was relieved and stood up and left.

She barely squeezed a smile and said, "I have something to do, let's go now."

Xu Sui is like this, she will subconsciously avoid things that she doesn't want or dare not face.

Hu Qianxi also commented on her before: "There is nothing difficult in the world, as long as you are willing to escape."

Xu Sui picked up the handbag and hurriedly opened the zipper to put things away. The sound made louder in the silence.

She walked out of the sofa sideways, Cong Yurong suddenly in front of everyone, her voice sharp, and questioned:

"So you have been chasing Zhou Jingze?"

Xu Sui's body stiffened, and then raised his feet to walk forward. The sofa was a large half arc when passing by the left hand side.

The man was lying on the sofa with his jacket open, holding a half-can of beer in his left hand, putting his **** on the pull ring, his face was dull and unclear, with red light swimming on his face.

Silent, dark, with a haze under the eyelids, as if tolerating something, like a beast that has been dormant for a long time.

His long legs overlapped, just blocking the aisle. Xu Sui sweated a little on the palms of his palms and did not dare to look at him. His eyes fell on his pants, his kneecaps protruding.

"Let me," she said.

The legs in the line of sight really turned sideways, and Xu Sui walked over, rubbing his knees with his calves, making a slight rubbing sound.

After walking out, Xu Sui breathed a sigh of relief.

She was about to leave, the next second, the man directly raised his hand and grabbed her arm, Xu couldn't make it anyway.

Zhou Jingze's hand climbed directly on her neck and moved down with force.

Xu Sui was forced to stagger and leaned over, and Zhou Jingze kissed him.

In front of everyone.

The damp lips closed her lips, and the breath of mint came in.

The temperature on Xu Sui's face rose sharply, and he felt his breath between his lips and teeth, as well as the smell of beer.

Fortunately, Zhou Jingze stopped her kiss and let her go, his thumb pressed against the hair on her cheek and hooked behind her ear.

"I am chasing her." Zhou Jingze announced in front of everyone.

The situation took a turn for the worse.

The old classmates were surprised. The monitor's mouth turned into an O shape. The expression on Yurong's face was the most wonderful, just as wonderful as knocking over the paint tray.

"Go ahead, she is easier to be shy." Zhou Jingze got up and led Xu Sui away in front of everyone.

Walking out, Zhou Jingze closed the box door, isolating the curious, various discussions and surprises inside.

Zhou Jingze held her hand tightly and Xu Sui broke free. Unexpectedly, there was a violent attack and a stumble. She slammed into the man's hard chest, her chin was a bit painful, her breathing was relatively close, and each other's eyelashes could be seen clearly.

"Where to hide?" Zhou Jingze's face was deep.

Xu Suixin contracted, and she negotiated: "No, you let me go first."

Zhou Jingze led her to the elevator door and pressed the key slowly, with a certain tone:

"Don't let go."

"According to my experience, you want to run away right now," Zhou Jingze raised his eyelids and looked at her up and down. "If you don't mind if I am guilty in public."

He has always said one thing.

Xu Sui stopped struggling immediately, let him lead, and got into the car.

Zhou Jingze sat in the driver's seat with a cold face, driving the car with one hand, still holding her hand.

Along the way, he didn't smoke cigarettes, and the phone rang and didn't answer.

After getting out of the car, the man directly carried Xu Sui on his shoulders, put his hands on her hips, and walked towards the house.

The key was inserted into the hole several times without inserting it, and finally shaking his hand and twisting it with great effort, the door opened.

With a "bang", Xu Sui's whole person was pushed against the door when the earth turned to the sky.

His chest undulated violently, and he couldn't tell who was breathing.

Zhou Jingze's dark eyes stared at her closely, and the sharpness of her eyes flicked every inch of her body.

Xu Suibei could see a burst of irritation on his body.

Zhou Jingze pressed her thumb on her forehead, tilted her head and kissed it.

To be precise, it is a bite.

Xu Sui raised his head and let out a "hiss" sound. He buried her shoulders, holding the soft white piece of neck in his mouth.

There was an itchy and tingling sensation in the neck, and it didn't take long before I saw red.

There was no light inside, it was very dark, and the light from the opposite side came over. Xu Sui saw that his eyes were very bright, and a fire faintly jumped up inside.

The curtains swayed, and he continued to kiss her with his arms around her.

Xu Sui's waist was smashed into the corner of the table, and the old wounds were nerve-raising. She frowned, tears in her painful eyes, put her hand on his head, and said, "It hurts."

Zhou Jingze's movements stopped.

With a "pop", the wall switch was turned on, and the room was filled with warm yellow.

Zhou Jingze squatted halfway in front of Xu Sui carrying a medicine box.

He lowered his head, with a cotton swab in his mouth, unscrewed the iodine lid, and rolled up the green sweater she was wearing with his other hand.

Zhou Jingze lowered his head, his eyelashes were long and his face was sharp. He dipped iodine with a cotton swab and gently applied it to the wound.

"Why didn't you tell me when you were in college that you liked me from the beginning?" Zhou Jingze asked suddenly.

Xu Sui lowered his eyes and said, "Because I think it's my business alone."

Secret love has always been a matter for her alone, with joy, anger, sorrow and joy, wind and rain, sunny days, all hidden in her heart.

"After the reunion, why are you so...anti-hesitating?" Zhou Jingze looked at her.

Every time he took a step further, she took a step back.

Zhou Jingze was clearly asking, but it seemed that Xu Sui's question always came out.

It is he who is accusing.

Xu Sui's eyes immediately turned red.

"I'm scared, I'm really scared," Xu Sui let out a slight sobbing sound, and then, as if she could no longer hold back, big tears fell down, with red eyes, "If there is another Yesenin How to do?"

From the age of sixteen, Xu Sui has been in love with him. It took three years to get close to her at university, and then to entangled when the two were together.

She seems to be unable to escape the three words Zhou Jingze.

"After breaking up, I tried to move forward," Xu Sui stretched out his hand to wipe away tears casually, and said softly, "but the only two paragraphs failed."

Zhou Jingze squatted, lowered his eyes to listen to her, and he twitched.

The first part was only one week together. The other party felt that Xu Sui was not active or enthusiastic, and the two of them were like colleagues, so she was dumped.

The second love relationship lasted for two months. Xu Sui tried to change herself, take the initiative, take the initiative to contact and care about each other, so everything went smoothly, until that winter, the other party took off her scarf and put it on her. , When finally hugged her.

Lin Jiafeng said that she was very stiff and resisted the intimate touch between lovers.

And this is not the first time.

"You have someone in your heart that you can't forget, I envy him," Lin Jiafeng smiled bitterly, "but I can't make you forget him, sorry."

"Neither did I... I must be with you," Xu Sui said. "So I went to fall in love."

But he can't be forgotten every moment.

Zhou Jingze's three words are like the Heart Sutra. Since she was sixteen, she has been unable to tell others about the young girl's thoughts.

When the two entangled again, Xu Sui deliberately acted indifferent, not jealous, and didn't like him that much. She was more free and easy than before. Only she knew that she loved someone, repeatedly and cowardly. She does this because she likes it so much.

Because I like it so much, I am afraid of losing.

Even if he promised to be together in the end, Xu Sui hoped from the bottom of his heart that he would like himself more.

People like Zhou Jingze sometimes look like the hot sun, sometimes like the elusive wind.

His ability to love others is getting better and better, but Xu Sui is still afraid, afraid that his love will disappear.

Say you don't like it in the next second and you won't like it.

Zhou Jingze squatted in front of her, and only felt distressed when she knew what she was thinking.

He has become accustomed to wandering around. He has been influenced by his family since he was a child and has witnessed too many joys and sorrows.

Zhou Jingze subconsciously believes that love will not last long. It is desire, sensory hunger, emotional possession, freshly baked bread, but it will not last forever.

It wasn't until after meeting Xu Sui that he gradually changed his mind.

It turned out that he was loved for a long time at many moments that he didn't know.

Zhou Jingze raised his hand to wipe away her tears, with gentle movements, looked at her, and twitched the corners of her lips:

"I am most afraid of you crying."

"I was quite reluctant to mention that," Zhou Jingze continued to wipe her wound with a cotton swab, his tone paused, "but I have to explain it to you now."

When I met Ye Saining, Zhou Jingze's mother committed suicide by burning carbon at home, and after her first seven months, Zhou Zhengguo brought Zhu Ling's mother and son into the house.

At that time, it was Zhou Jingze's most rebellious period, and it was also a stage of confusion and despair in his life.

Zhou Jingze hardly went to school during that time, skipping classes all day and fighting, either drilling in the Internet cafe or snorting in the billiard room with others.

He also had lip studs and tattoos all over his body.

From a three-good student to a degenerate trash student.

It's like resisting something.

Zhou Jingze also met Peng Zi during a gang fight at that time.

He is the real street gangster, earning a living by collecting rent and punching for the boss.

Peng Zi was very good to Zhou Jingze at that time, and came out for him. What's fun was to bring him the first time, and he was injured because of him.

Fifteen or six years old is a period of enthusiasm and blindness.

Zhou Jingze thought he had handed over his dead brother.

It was also because of Peng Zi that he was soaked in the bar all day, and died in the wind and dust, because the blurry and illusory lights can make people forget all the pain for a short time.

Zhou Jingze missed an exam because Peng Zi said that he had a good thing to show him in the evening.

On Wednesday, at the Zero Bar, Zhou Jingze stuffed his school uniform jacket into his school bag and went directly to Peng Zi.

When he opened the door to enter, Peng Zi threw a cigarette to him.

Zhou Jingze took it and looked up and found that there was a vote of people he didn't know, all of whom were about 34-year-old adults.

Peng Zi met the doubts in his eyes and explained: "Friends who all play together."

It didn't take long for Zhou Jingze to discover the purpose of Peng Zi.

The group of people in the box are trading, sucking the gods. Red and purple lights staggered down, and they all raised their heads and leaned on the sofa.

It seems to be relieved.

Peng Zi leaned over, threw a packet to him, and asked, "Would you like to try it? This is the **** gods, and I forgot everything I ate."

When he was at home during the day, Zhu Ling packed up and threw his mother's cello into the grocery room.

Zhou Jingze had a dispute with Zhu Ling, Zhou Zhengguo came out of the study and slapped him:

"What are the dead things left for!"

Then Zhou Jingze skipped class and hid here with Peng Zi.

To be honest, Zhou Jingze's heart was shaken. At that time, he was rotted deep in his heart and desperate. In fact, he wanted to see his mother.

One hundred.

When Peng Zi gave him the things, Zhou Jingze did not refuse, holding it in the palm of his hand, feeling hot.

The light was dim, and he was sitting in the corner of the sofa with sweat on his forehead.

Surrounded by lascivious and prosperous screams, Zhou Jingze looked at their expressions as if they had really reached the world of bliss.

Zhou Jingze put it on the table and pulled out a little with his fingertips when he was about to try it.

The waiter in the bar opened the door and came in to deliver the wine. That person is Yesenin.

When she was sent to Zhou Jingze, she didn't know whether it was intentional or unintentional. She turned her hand and the wine was spilled, and the powder melted in the wine and wasted.

With a "clang" of the wine glass, it fell to the ground, falling apart, and suddenly awakened Zhou Jingze.

Zhou Jingze woke up like a dream, and at the same time was in a cold sweat.

Yesenin also took out a napkin and reached out to wipe the wine on the table, and was directly kicked by Peng Zi on the wall.

When Peng Zi walked over, she was about to slap her twice, Zhou Jingze stood up to stop him, and threw a stack of red banknotes from her wallet: "I'll pay for this, forget it."

"Fuck#Your fucking, bitch: son." Peng Zi gave her a ferocious look before letting her go.

After walking out of the bar, a cold wind came out, Zhou Jingze wondered what he was doing?

Almost, he couldn't look back.

Aftermath.

At this moment, Zhou Jingze really understood that Peng Zi did not regard him as a friend at the beginning, but knew a rich second generation, which gave him an opportunity to control him to make money.

That night, Zhou Jingze waited for Ye Saining to get off work. He stepped forward to apologize: "I'm sorry."

"Thank you just now." Zhou Jingze said.

Yesenin shook out a lady mint cigarette from the cigarette case, spit out, frowned:

"If I knew I would be kicked, I wouldn't be nosy."

"Medical expenses." Ye Saining stretched out his hand at him.

Zhou Jingze was stunned for a second and gave her a stack of money.

Yesenin said to him when he was leaving:

"I think you are one or two years younger than me. There are more people in the world suffering than you. Who do you show yourself to?"

"Show it to people who don't care about you? That's emotional waste, not worth it."

The two said goodbye. Zhou Jingze came to his senses after the night, and he took the initiative to find an outsider who was admitted to be wrong.

Grandpa was furious, beat him half to death with a cane, and put him in confinement for half a month.

Grandpa sighed and said, "Life is yours."

For a long time, Zhou Jingze had not even been to a bar.

He is beginning his rebirth.

It's nothing more than breaking everything up, starting over, no matter how hard and tired, you have to go on the right path.

A month later, Zhou Jingze went to the bar to find Ye Saining, but learned that after that night, she was dismissed by complaint, and even the last month's salary was not settled.

A colleague in the bar also told him in private that Ye Sening was beaten by Peng Zi's people.

Zhou Jingze struggled to find Ye Saining. At that time, she was serving dishes in the barbecue stall, and the wound on her face was still not crusted.

"I'm sorry, because I—" Zhou Jingze felt that this was a bit hypocritical, and changed the subject to ask, "Do you have a wish to come true, as long as I can do it."

Yesening was so busy, she said casually: "I want to make up for me so, then send me to study abroad, anyway, I'll stay enough for this **** place."

Unexpectedly, there was a magnetic voice behind him, and he agreed: "Yes, how about Britain?"

...

"I had the kind of affection I had for her before... the kind of dependence and appreciation when I was confused, she was one year older than me," Zhou Jingze said slowly, "After contact, we found that our two personalities are quite similar."

Because of her gratitude to Yesenin, she owed her favors, so she was responsive.

"Up to now, I still thank her. After joining the work, I have seen such people because of work. I looked at them from a long distance, how can I say?"

"There is no last time, it will be over after the first time in my life." Zhou Jingze said.

Zhou Jingze lifted Xu Sui's clothes, his eyelids twitched, and he tugged at the corners of his lips:

"Actually, I... have always been worried that you know about this and found that I am not so good."

"Don't like me anymore."

He is not so good on the surface, and he has been dark, broken, and rotten. He was afraid that Xu Sui, who knew the truth, would be disappointed and would loathe him.

Xu Sui cried harder. Compared with the misunderstanding caused by this incident, she hoped that Zhou Jingze would not go through so many pains from the original family at that time, go astray and hurt herself.

I also regret that it was not her who was with him at that time.

"Then... have you liked anyone since the breakup?" Xu Sui's tears were still in his eyelashes, and he choked and asked him, because he cried so hard, he even hiccuped.

Zhou Jingze was taken aback for a moment, and then smiled. He looked up at her and nodded her nose in a cautious and serious tone:

"Don't understand yet, I haven't talked about it for so many years."

"only you."