Crazy Psychologist

Chapter 432 If you work hard to live

"Very good, that's how it should be. Although what the future will be like is related to what you want to do now, it is not a decision. Sometimes people must do the most important things right at hand first. As for what happened in the past, Could it be that if you stole a piece of eraser when you were a child, would it really make you unable to live your life?

That would be terrible. Everyone's life has become that of Jean Valjean in Hugo's novel. He stole a piece of bread for his little nephew who was about to die from hunger. There was no way to live a good life.

Such a story is so tragic.

But Bailu is a choice. Most people will not live in accusations forever just because they stole a piece of bread, because there are still things in life that require you to take responsibility.

For example, your husband needs your trust right now. "

Muchun encouraged Bai Lu's decision, and Bai Lu sighed and calmed down a little.

Afterwards, the atmosphere in the room did not really get better, because after Bai Lu calmed down for a while, she entered a state of complete chaos. She was even a little incoherent. Mu Chun could not believe that her words were true, or was it because of Bai Lu's current chaotic mood? So what he said became illogical.

Because Bai Lu said that she was laughed at by He Ping, saying that she was self-righteous, that he had stopped loving her a long time ago, and that he didn't know about the things outside.

Bai Lu shook her head and bit her lip as she spoke, "What he means is that he has stopped loving me a long time ago and has been thinking about separating from me for a long time. It's just that we are all in this circle. After all, he is such a model. For many years, as long as he maintained his reputation, he didn't expect to have a relationship as a couple. He had long wanted to show off with me, saying that we should live a free life in marriage, live our own lives, and no one should interfere. Regarding the other person’s affairs, no one should care about what the other person does, just do what you want to do, because he doesn’t love me anymore and he has had many women for a long time.”

"Why did he say that?" Muchun asked.

"Why do you ask that?" Bai Lu looked at Mu Chun in surprise, "Aren't these the facts themselves? He Ping didn't love me a long time ago. I should have understood it earlier. He performed everywhere, performed everywhere, There are so many places to go. In addition to band performances, he also took on a lot of jobs. Basically, these jobs were in other places or in Southeast Asia, North America, and Europe. Anyway, he traveled as far as he could, you know? I think He has been avoiding me for a long time, just for the convenience of being with others. If we simply live all over the world, we don't need a fixed home, and we won't be bound by one home anymore."

These are not so much Bai Lu’s thoughts after listening to He Ping’s words as they are the thoughts she has buried in her heart for a long time - she is worried that her husband has fallen in love with someone else, and is convinced that her husband has fallen in love with someone else. Now there is evidence and witnesses to prove that her husband loves someone else. He fell in love with someone else, and in the end, He Ping personally admitted all of this.

Is there any reason to ask why he said this?

However, when Bai Lu looked up at Mu Chun, Mu Chun's ordinary face was filled with calmness without any ripples. This kind of calmness made people wonder if he was talking to an opaque wall.

"Don't look at me like this. Do you think I came here after all this hard work to tell you a joke?" Bai Lu raised the corner of her mouth, mocking herself.

"I think so. I think you are all joking." Muchun said calmly and seriously.

Bai Lu drank a whole glass of water. Drunk people are extremely thirsty. Mu Chun could tell that Bai Lu must have drank a lot last night, because the room was now filled with the smell of alcohol.

Being dependent on alcohol, Mu Chun couldn't explain how he felt when he continued to drink when something happened.

Isn’t this all the previous efforts wasted?

Mu Chun stood up and walked behind Bai Lu, then walked around to the other side of the table, picked up her cup, and poured Bai Lu another glass of water.

"You need to eat something, or I'll order you some porridge, and you can go back after eating." Mu Chun suggested while taking out his phone and opening Ele.me.

"I don't want to eat it," Bai Lu said.

As soon as she started talking, Mu Chun interrupted her, "Corn and shrimp porridge, ribs and spinach porridge, pork liver. Forget about pork liver, preserved egg and lean meat porridge, raw fish fillet porridge, abalone porridge, what do you want to eat? My treat."

"I will not eat"

"Then let's have vegetable and lean meat porridge. It's more convenient to eat." After saying that, Muchun placed the order and then told Bai Lu, "It will be delivered in 20 minutes."

"Thanks, but I'm really not hungry."

"I know, but you need to eat. You cried too much and drank too much. There is not enough sugar in your brain. You have no brain now." After Mu Chun finished speaking, he moved his eyes away from Bai Lu and looked at the computer.

Bai Lu sat aside, shivering from time to time. The two were silent for about ten minutes before Bai Lu said, "I'm Doctor Muchun."

"Are you awake?" Muchun asked.

Bai Lu nodded.

"Okay, why did He Ping say that?" Muchun asked the same question for the third time.

This time Bai Lu finally understood what Mu Chun meant, "You mean he said that on purpose?"

Muchun nodded happily.

"This is a rape crime, and there is also domestic violence. You cannot escape a criminal offense. Basically, you will go to jail, and you will not be given a light sentence. It depends on whether he is prepared to plead guilty in full or in part, and whether he intends to commit suicide. Ask a lawyer to defend you. Don’t you think there is any problem with so many things? Normal people must deny it or find reasons. Your husband’s income is not bad. It can even be said that as his reputation has increased over the past year, he has been everywhere. To make money, the income must be good.”

After hearing what Mu Chun said, Bai Lu did not hide anything and directly told Mu Chun that He Ping had indeed transferred 600,000 yuan to her two weeks ago. All of it was earned in the past six months. He also said that he had paid the down payment for an apartment in Bangkok and would pay off the balance when the apartment is handed over at the end of the year.

"I really don't know how he can make so much money." Bai Lu burped in embarrassment after saying that, and there was another smell of fermented alcohol.

"How much did you drink?" Muchun asked.

"Probably a lot. I don't know. It's not like the doctor doesn't know that I become confused after drinking." Bai Lu said vaguely, blaming herself.

"It's not that you are confused after drinking. Most people are confused after drinking, so don't drink." Mu Chun knew that it was useless to tell Bai Lu at this time. She had already drank. Confused.

We can only wait for her to slowly regain her senses and figure out the whole thing.

How could this matter suddenly become like this? Mu Chun felt a little unprepared. What happened to He Ping? How could he suddenly tell the truth that he completely thought about?

Could it be that this He Ping also has a dual personality?

One personality believes that he has done nothing, while the other personality is a bohemian who flirts with women and has violence issues?

If so, the case would be even more complicated.

"What do you think I should do? I slept for about three hours, and then I felt very scared. I don't know why I suddenly felt scared, as if I would completely separate from him, and it would be an emotionless separation. He doesn't love me. No longer? No longer loves me at all? He stopped loving me before I stopped loving him. He didn’t even love me so much that he would rather be with fans and do such things to others. What kind of person do you think I am? An unattractive woman?”

After Bai Lu said this, Muchun shook his head vigorously and looked at Bai Lu with sharp eyes.

"Now is not the time for you to blame yourself for these things. Then tell me, does He Ping look like two different people? Is his expression and tone of voice different from usual He Ping? You know him best. He used to have There has never been a situation like this, I mean two completely different facts about the same thing?”

Bai Lu was a little confused by Mu Chun's question. After thinking for a long time, she still shook her head, "No, he has always been a very clear-minded person. There has never been such a situation as you mentioned. I can't remember it at all, and I can't think of it. .”

Muchun said nothing.

Seeing that Mu Chun didn't say anything, Bai Lu explained: "Really, Doctor Mu, when he said this, he was not different from usual. He is still him. I am sure it is him, but his heart has changed. He told me that he Both his heart and his body betrayed me, there is no difference, the only difference is the emotion."

"That's strange. What made him suddenly say that? So has He Ping already confessed?" Mu Chun asked.

Bai Lu nodded, "I have already confessed everything. He said he didn't need to bother me with a lawyer, and he didn't want to see me again. He said it very coldly, so coldly that it was like he was talking to a stranger or even an enemy. I really doubted him. Do you hate me?

However, it is normal to hate me. What he means is that he knows everything I do, so I am not qualified to accuse him. I just need to accept the current facts and accept my fate. "

"So you definitely don't plan to find a lawyer for him, right?" Muchun frowned tightly, always feeling that things were changing too fast and too illogical.

Bai Lu chuckled, with an extremely strange and sad beauty.

Beautiful looks, ugly and crooked feelings.

On the same face, it looks like a monster.

"Bai Lu, calm down." Mu Chun advised.

"I don't want to calm down." Bai Lu suddenly stood up and circled the ground several times, just like a dancer doing Mongolian dance.

Then she saw the piano, her upper body motionless as if in a fugue, she dragged her legs to the piano, suddenly opened the piano, then stood beside the piano, laughed and cried wildly, and then smashed both hands on the piano at the same time.

"Why should I be calm? Why should I be calm? Everything is brought on by me and is retribution." Bai Lu roared.

He raised his hands and hit him again and again.

The piano emitted a desperate trembling sound, and the howling of ghosts and wolves was nothing more than that.

Just at this moment, Liu Tiantian knocked on the door and walked in.

"Doctor Mu, I saw the takeout at the entrance of the hospital and didn't know how to get to you, so I collected it and brought it to you." After Liu Tiantian finished speaking, he glanced at Bai Lu secretly, and then asked Mu Chun gently, "What's wrong? ?crazy?"

Muchun called Liu Tiantian aside and said something in her ear.

Liu Tiantian nodded after hearing this, "I'll go right away."

Bai Lu didn't regain consciousness until her tears flowed onto the piano keys. She quickly wiped the tears on the piano keys with her sleeves, turned around and said to Mu Chun, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, such a good piano."

"The porridge is cold, come and drink some."

"Okay." Bai Lu wiped her tears and walked to the table sobbing.

After being drunk, crying, and going crazy, Bai Lu was indeed hungry. She ate half a bowl of porridge in a few seconds. After eating, her mood improved a little.

Mu Chun was about to say that there were many doubts about He Ping's affairs and that he needed to talk to Bai Lu again, but Bai Lu didn't let Mu Chun speak and said: "Originally, I prepared Chopin's "F Major" for the second qualifying competition on the 21st. "Ballade No. 2 Op. 38", but I have no chance to play it. What I mean is that my performance career as a pianist is completely over. It seems like it was just a childhood dream, and now it is the end of the dream.

At the beginning, I didn't feel bad because the feeling of death was so scary and new. Could the doctor understand what I meant? The neat music in the tranquility was suddenly mixed with chaotic puppets. Those puppets with black and white keys were the melodies of the devil. They were not the gospel of angels, but the melodies of the devil. They suddenly flowed out of my fingertips. At the beginning It was one, then two, I was like a deer lost in the jungle, without direction, I was afraid, I was eager to catch those right notes, as if I was relying on four fragile legs on the ground full of dead leaves. I was running along the forest path, with the sound of shattering leaves and cracking soil under my feet. There were dark clouds overhead and heavy rain was about to come.

Finally, I fainted and fell unconscious. I saw countless light shadows in my eyes, like insects of various colors. Later, I heard the voices of many people talking, and the voices were very noisy, very, very noisy.

I felt that my body was abnormally large, very, very huge. The piano around me kept shrinking, very small, and finally only as big as my palm. The stage behind me also became smaller and smaller, until it was smaller than When I was young, I started to be afraid, but fear was useless. It became narrower and narrower, and finally turned into a cylinder, then became a sharp knife, and finally turned into a needle, this needle. It's on my skirt, I feel like it's tearing through my skirt and slowly touching my skin

It's a predictable pain. At this point I started to panic, I shouted and yelled, but no one paid any attention to me.

The forest changed its appearance, the sky turned the color of honey, and then it began to melt. What fell was not rain. There was wind around, but it was not the wind in the ordinary world. The wind around had a smell, a very lonely smell. I I don’t know how to describe the feeling of loneliness. It was probably the fishy smell of cement mixed with earth when I was hiding under a viaduct when it suddenly started raining on my way home. In short, I really felt it at that time. I smelled a certain smell, and then I thought that this smell was loneliness, loneliness that will never be redeemed, endless loneliness refers to a smell.

So no music can express loneliness, no, not at all.

I don’t know how long passed, but for me it was probably several lifetimes ago. I thought maybe I was going to die, because death means eternal loneliness, so what I smelled should be the smell of death.

The sky suddenly began to melt faster, and like the solidified honey in the refrigerator, it suddenly began to flow down. Lots and lots of it. All the plants touched by the honey began to grow faster. So fast, so fast. A rose grew up quickly and became a huge one. The rose has no idea of ​​stopping and shows no sign of withering. It is as if it wants to go to the sky to eat the honey in the sky, or to become a part of the sky.

Then I found that the trees next to me were also growing crazily. As you chased after me, all the plants were crowded together due to overgrowth. Finally, they turned the entire sky into a large scroll of plants like a mural, like The same as the roof of the church.

I began to despair, unable to move at all, and I realized that they would soon turn around and come down on me. The huge roses had their mouths open, and every leaf was covered with eyes.

In my ears are all the piano music I have practiced in my life. Every line is clear and every chord is even and smooth.

I began to enter the tranquility and orderliness of Bach's music. I began to no longer panic. I gradually no longer felt afraid, but looked forward to it. Come on, come down and bury me completely.

Before the final fear came, I felt that my body turned into a sword, and then I cut through the space entangled by these vines. When I woke up, I was in the hospital. "

After Mu Chun listened to all this quietly, Bai Lu showed a smile, "The feeling of dying once actually has a lot of say."

The preface of Bai Lu's words did not match the subtext, but Mu Chun still understood what Bai Lu wanted to express.

"Since you have died once, since you have transformed into a sword, you should not hide in the scabbard anymore. Have you ever thought that instead of being depressed and sad, it is better to work hard once? Maybe working hard to live is the best thing that has been ignored. method."

Muchun tried to express his thoughts. He did not expect that Bai Lu could change immediately with just these words. She had a lot of sadness and guilt on both sides, just like fighting, they were mixed together after the fight. A variety of emotions are intertwined and mixed, and in the end it will make people weak, irritable, and at a loss.

Bai Lu finished the last bit of porridge and seemed to have recovered a lot of energy, "So when I woke up, I only knew that I was not dead. I didn't think about the piano competition at all, and then there was the matter of my husband. I only remembered it later. When I was drunk last night, I realized that I was really a very selfish person, because when I just woke up from a coma, I didn't think that he was involved in a case. A case, a criminal case.

Then, when I woke up this morning, I actually didn’t think about that. The first thing I thought about was whether my piano career was over. My last performance was over before it even started. My life, half of my life. All my persistence and efforts were just gone, and am I to blame myself?

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