Crazy Psychologist

Muchun guessed that Fang Ming's fear was not an obsession with numbers.

This is different from the compulsive counting of patients with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Fang Ming's fear of numbers should be more of a fear in certain specific situations.

For example, medical school stories... Because there have been many unexplainable incidents in a certain hospital bed, doctors are more concerned about a certain bed... Such things are not uncommon.

"Is it also because of this reason?" Muchun asked, "Or is there another reason? For example, it is related to a certain patient?"

Fang Ming's sadness suddenly emerged from serious to the whole room, spreading. Mu Chun hoped that Fang Ming could let the sadness in his body express as much as possible, but Fang Ming still seemed to be struggling to control them. .

It turned around to prevent Muchun from seeing his eyes. He looked out the window, but the scenery outside the window was not looking at him.

Fang Ming learned about the professor three days ago. The professor called him and told him that he had gone to another large hospital in the north to prepare for a transplant.

Fang Ming felt an indescribable feeling in his heart.

The professor sounded in good spirits and very confident in himself. He said that he had found the best team in the country and had a high probability of success.

The professor's voice even had a hint of cheerfulness on the phone, as if he just wanted to say - let's have dinner together when I get better.

In Fang Ming's mind, the professor has always been such a decisive, strong person who would always think of a solution.

But will this kind of surgery really be better than the treatment plan Fang Ming designed for him?

Fang Ming had no answer.

He felt a throbbing pain in his back, suffered from insomnia that night, and even experienced a brief trance during the surgery the next day.

Fang Ming, who has always had high demands on himself, was very alert to discover his own problems. Fortunately, it did not cause terrible consequences.

In normal times, Fang Ming might not be so sensitive to bed No. 15, but now, his plump forehead was covered with haze.

"I just want to avoid something as much as possible. It's best not to go to that bed. Besides, the patient can't wait," Fang Ming said.

"It's not good for doctors to spread such superstition." Muchun said with emotion.

"That's it. It's not just bad, it's really bad." Fang Ming smiled and pinched a pinellia leaf with his fingers.

Mu Chun had never seen such a depressed expression before.

"Actually, I think this kind of thing can be avoided if possible." Muchun said, "We just can't talk to the patient's family directly, right... If we talk directly, maybe the patient's family won't choose bed 15."

"There's no way to say this. Besides, other doctors don't think so. It's my own problem. I'm probably sick, mentally or physically. Shen Zifeng is really smart. He called you here. Muchun is a bit like this now. Firefighters, go wherever needed."

Fang Ming tried to joke, but inadvertently reached into his pocket and took out his cell phone to look through it several times.

As if Fang Ming had a premonition that something was going to happen, his cell phone rang, and then he looked at Muchun, hesitating whether to press the answer button.

"Professor?" Muchun asked.

Fang Ming nodded, feeling a premonition of uneasiness floating in the clinic room, emitting bursts of burning smell.

Fang Ming's hands were trembling, as if they were bound by a barbed iron chain.

"Hello", as soon as he opened his mouth, his voice was broken.

Silence, haze, back pain that makes you want to cry without tears.

"The operation is complete." Fang Ming squeezed out a few words with great effort.

"As expected." Muchun said softly.

There was a sad smile on Fang Ming's lips, which was more heartbreaking than crying.

He didn't complain about why the professor insisted on having his own way. Everything seemed to be within Fang Ming's expectation, so he wasn't sad. He didn't know how to be sad at all.

If tragedy is foreseen, people may lose the ability to grieve.

Become a prisoner trapped in a prison, trapped.

Letting him release this emotion first is an important part.

"Tell me about his situation. How is he doing now?" Muchun tried to say.

Fang Ming sat down, holding his cell phone and hitting his forehead twice, "It was my fault... I have been thinking about what I said during dinner that day. If I had not said that, if I had given the professor more clear hope, , will he still be in Zhinan Affiliated Hospital, will he choose this kind of surgery for which there are no mature cases, and will the result be like this."

Although Muchun is not a surgeon, he also understands that pancreatic cancer is a terrible disease with a near-death risk. Even surgery, which is not yet mature, may speed up the devil's actions and allow patients who originally had a little longer to survive. towards death.

The professor's situation is probably the most terrifying one.

"It's not your fault, Fang Ming." Muchun said.

Fang Ming shook his head, a doctor's confidence almost completely shattered.

"It's not your fault, Fang Ming!" Muchun said again.

"No, if I hadn't said that at the time, I should have been able to lie a little bit. I could have done that. I shouldn't have thought that just because he was a professor or a medical student, we could discuss a Discuss his condition like a medical case, Muchun...I..."

"This is not your fault, this is his decision." Mu Chun looked at Fang Ming, who was about to collapse, and repeatedly told him clearly that it was not his fault.

No one is powerless at this time.

"The professor definitely didn't blame you," Muchun asked.

Fang Ming shook his head, "His voice is very weak. It's only been three days. If he follows my treatment method, he may live until the end of the year. He..."

"Live with dignity, Dr. Fang. Sometimes patients not only want a longer life, but also want to live with dignity and control their own destiny. The professor wants to control his own destiny and have dignity." Living, what he wants is a life that he can decide. Think about why he returned to China alone, why he found you, and why he left alone again. A strong man hopes to control his life until the last moment. This is not trust. It is not a question of who is right or wrong. In the face of death, everyone needs to choose. The professor had the opportunity to choose, and he also chose. You still have many patients who may not have the chance to choose at all. They have tracheostomy. , were taken to the ICU and asked for surgery. They could not open their mouths or speak. They could not control their lives, neither life nor death.

Director Fang, you still have many patients waiting for you. They hope that you will be able to rejuvenate and bring hope. We have no reason to be depressed enough to affect our work. This is the mission of our profession and the principle of being a human being. "

I don’t know how much Fang Ming heard. Muchun believed that he would not cheer up so quickly, but he would not fall down so easily.