Crazy Psychologist

Pain tolerance.

Again and again, finally able to bear the embrace of hell.

At that moment, he was buried.

"But, I'm very sad." Song Weixin lowered his head in frustration, staring at his knees and a piece of gray-blue ground directly below them.

There was nothing there, and he didn't really want to see anything. He was just confused and uncomfortable, and didn't know how to speak.

Originally, he wanted to find someone to talk to, but when he was talking, his sadness was hidden and kicked out the door. This door was naturally the door to his heart, and the sadness kicked out could not hurt him.

"If you don't have a heart, you won't be sad." Song Weixin sniffed and stared up at the ceiling blankly. There was nothing there, and he also never thought about seeing any color in the paleness.

However, this meaningless expectation is not completely non-existent, nor is it completely nihilistic.

If there was really nothingness, human beings would not have so many sad emotions to deal with, and they could only end their pain by dying.

Sad, it really hurts.

"I feel that I am really stupid, very stupid, just a fool!" Even if there is nowhere to place the emptiness in my heart, the heart that is completely swallowed up by sadness is eager to kick them out, drive them out, and pick up an ax to disperse them all.

But he couldn't do it.

Muchun said leisurely: "If you don't have a heart, you won't be sad."

"You make it easy, just give it a try."

"Well, I tried."

The patient's head lowered with a "swish" sound, his eyes were level with Mu Chun's, and he doubted: "Dr. Mu is not talking about practicing suicide on the roof, right?"

"That's it, practice, practice, practice. Many people who commit suicide have practiced for a long time, building up their ability to withstand pain, over and over again. This is practice."

Song Weixin didn't quite understand Mu Chun's words. The outpatient room was eerily quiet. Muchun's voice revealed a mysterious power that firmly attracted him. He couldn't explain what this power was, but he just felt like he had listened to folk horror stories when he was a child. Feel.

When I listened to those stories, I felt scared, but at the same time, I was full of expectation. It seemed that I had some prediction of the outcome, and I was waiting to see if what I thought would be consistent with the development of the story.

That kind of mysterious, weird, and firmly attracting power.

The patient's back was a little numb, and his eyes were filled with confusion and expectation.

"You want to know what I'm practicing?"

"Ah... Doctor Mu said that he practices jumping off buildings. He can't practice jumping off buildings no matter how much he thinks about it."

"The scenery on the top floor is part of the exercise. Looking to the west, the sight passes through the dark sea and cannot see the other side of the sea. This feeling is scary, isn't it?"

Song Weixin nodded.

The sea around the sea is very vast. From this side, it is true that neither the buildings on either side nor the mountains to the east can be seen. Part of the view is blocked by nearby tall buildings. The sea around the sea he saw last night was indeed the part of the coastline that cannot be seen. .

It's strange, if I hadn't stood in that position and observed it with my own eyes, how could I have said it so accurately.

Didn't this doctor lie? It’s not a lie about “practicing jumping off buildings”, but what did you really experience there?

By the way, the doctor said it was practice, practice for suicide.

Just yesterday, when he wanted to die, it was just an irresistible thought. From thought to action, he did not think about how much pain he would endure. It can be said that at that time, he never thought about choosing a painless way of death. , just want to die.

"It's like being possessed by an evil spirit and wanting to die."

"Doctor—how do you know?"

"Impulsive suicide is often like this. There is no plan or practice, and you suddenly want to die."

"Yes, I no longer have such thoughts, and I don't think I will ever think about dying again. What does this mean? I am not a qualified suicide."

Muchun smiled calmly, "Do you still want to be a great suicide?"

Song Weixin shuddered, these words were really scary.

"I don't want to, but to get back to the subject, I really feel bad. I think although I don't plan to die, and I don't want to die anymore, but I really feel bad, and I really really want to cry. Although I am a man, but really, my chest feels tight, I haven’t slept all night, I have a splitting headache, and I want to find someone to talk to, but I have no one to talk to, especially for such shameful things, I want to find someone to talk to. There is no one who can talk to me."

Throughout the night, Song Weixin saw WeChat from QQ, WeChat to QQ, classmates, friends, friends he met through playing games, and partners he met through business. He looked through the avatars of these people many times, but couldn't find them. Someone who can talk.

"What can I say to people? That I was cheated by a woman? I deserve it, don't I?"

"You tell me."

"What?"

A white cup filled with orange juice appeared on the table in front of Song Wilson. He had no idea when it appeared.

Muchun leaned against the table, holding a red cup in his hand, speaking in a natural tone as if chatting with a friend, "Just say what you want to say."

"Doesn't it count as treatment fee?"

"Of course we'll do it, we'll do it together later."

"Is it calculated in terms of one minute or one hour?"

"Are you going to say it again?"

"Talk about it!" Song Weixin hurriedly drank a sip of orange juice. He had been in a daze all night, without eating a bite of breakfast or even a sip of water. With this sip of juice in his mouth, Song Weixin felt that he was half saved in an instant.

With a sweet but bitter taste in his mouth, Song Weixin recounted all the unfortunate things he had encountered in the past few days.

What he said was incoherent and without any sense of beauty, and was occasionally mixed with a few curse words.

"Tell me, am I stupid?"

"Sounds a bit like that."

"Do you know? I met this girl playing games. She said she wanted me to be her master and play with her, but I didn't take it seriously. She was in Lufeng, 1,500 kilometers away from Lufeng. I When we first went to find her, we - we just, I felt like I was in love, completely in love with that woman."

"Well, I can see that you are desperate for her."

"It wasn't there at the time. It was just love. She loved me and I loved her. It was normal. We chatted for several months, played games together and bought each other gifts. Then she asked me to go to Lufeng for development, and I took it to heart. , I am not a scumbag, I plan for the future wholeheartedly, and I have been thinking all day about whether I can support myself and her by going to Lufeng for development."

"Yeah, he's a good man."

Hearing what Muchun said, Song Weixin puffed up his chest and said, "Of course, I am definitely a good man. I am even touched by myself."