Dear Freud
Chapter 26:
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Zhen Yi leaned back in a loose and soft couch, dimly thinking.
The floor-to-ceiling windows opened, the gauze curtains flew lightly, and there was a stretch of grass outside. The cherry blossoms came to an end, the wind blew, the petals fell lightly, spilled over the steps and the floor, and fell to her feet.
"What's the feeling at this moment?" Yange sat in the chair next to her and looked at the blue sky outside the window with her.
"Relaxed," she closed her eyes and opened again.
"What kind of relaxation?"
"Like, after being exhausted, she can finally rest." She exhaled for a long time.
"Are you tired?"
"No, I'm so tired, I'm too tired to cry." She tried to stabilize her voice.
Yan Ge looked over at her, and she looked at the white clouds in the sky, her expression frozen.
He asked softly, "Is there anything you can't let go of?"
What is it?
It seems to be a distant primary school. After the fire, although her mother was seriously injured, she survived and lay in bed all day. That day, little Zhenyi could walk down the ground. She was sitting by the hospital bed, looking at her mother with some fear, because her leg was broken and it was terrible.
Mother said hoarsely: "Little girl, see if there are lychees in front of the hospital. Mother wants to eat lychees."
"Oh." She slid off the stool with a plaster on her left hand and walked stupidly to the window, looking out on tiptoe. The streets of Shencheng are lined with trees and so beautiful.
Ah, she saw a fruit seller!
"There are miles!" Well, she wanted to eat too.
"Go buy some for mom."
"Oh." She took the money and went downstairs to buy litchi.
A small bag, tender and tender. She was carrying the bag and itching while walking. The plaster on the left hand is so itchy, scratching, scratching again. She wanted to eat one first, but she couldn't peel it with one hand, and ran back quickly to find her mother.
Suddenly, there were people screaming around, something flew downstairs, and the sound of "bang" was very dull. When she looked down, her mother's eyes fell out.
The next second, an adult nearby rushed over to cover her eyes and hugged her away.
It ’s better to go first, and what is left is often the most painful.
The style asked: "Do you think Mom's death is related to you?"
"I'm not obedient, nor cute, my mother doesn't like me. Otherwise, she should not be willing to jump off the building."
"No, Zhen Yi." He said, "People in their childhood think that problems are self-centered. No matter what happens, they will find reasons for themselves. They believe that what happened must be explained. Caused by yourself. But this is not the case. "
And that experience undoubtedly left a bad hint to Zhen Yi; as long as the misfortune happened, he took responsibility for himself.
"Isn't it? But this time," Zhen Yi spoke hard, biting her lip again, her sore and bitter emotions blocked her throat and suffocated her.
She frowned deeply and finally closed her eyes: "If I didn't wear it, Song Yi might not commit suicide!"
Silently looking into the distance, the people around him resumed their breathing smoothly before saying: "There are many things in this world that we cannot control. You have tried your best to do the best, which is enough. As for the result, do n’t blame any People, including yourself. "
"Zhen Yi, you know, this is not your fault." His voice was so soft, to his consultant.
She listened to his words, and her eyebrows slowly spread out, faintly subsided.
Gradually, she opened her eyes and stared at the cherry tree outside the window in a daze.
"But I still feel powerless," she said tiredly.
"These two cases made me completely famous. A large part of the reason was that both clients committed suicide. I do n’t know if I did well enough, but I really tried my best. From beginning to end, only I know how to go How many threats and obstacles have you come to see how dark you are.
Of course, I always tell myself that this is my profession, at least I can fight against that bad force. Even if I do n’t work as a policeman or even as a lawyer, I still want to be a good lawyer. I always think so, so I have always been confident and motivated. But this time I defended the real murderer and wanted to escape her without any moral burden. Looking back now, I feel dazed, as if something in my heart has been subverted.
While sympathizing with her, she wanted to save her; on the other hand, she couldn't ignore the fact that she was a murderer, so painful. "
After listening carefully, he asked, "Do you always mind who the murderer is?"
"Originally, the criminal police, occupational disease?"
"But your current occupation is a lawyer."
"..."
She tilted her head to look at him.
His eyes are clear, like obsidian, so anxious and restless,
She looked up again,
"Yes. I am a contradiction, trying to defend my client desperately, but I still hope that he is not a murderer!"
He said: "Zhen Yi, if you do this, you will be very painful in the future."
Zhen Yi froze for a moment, he cared about her. At this moment, is he a doctor or a friend?
"If it were you, if your client was guilty, wouldn't you have a psychological burden?"
"will not."
"That's because of your character." She deflated.
"It has nothing to do with personality, Zhen Yi." He slowed down and looked at her sideways. "I don't agree with every word you say, but I vow to defend your power to express your ideas."
Zhen Yi heart shocked: "Voltaire's words?"
Earlier years, words like philosophy. Zhen Yi loved the house and Wu, followed him to the library, and remembered a few words so carelessly.
"The memory is good." His lips moved a little, not a smile, and he quickly calmed down, "If you want, remember a sentence, 'The profession that binds lawyers is not the morals of lawyers, but the system.' Maybe it will be easier. "
Zhen Yi was speechless at once. The heart is like being hit by something soft, warm and peaceful.
She didn't know how he had this ability, so she spoke into her heart in just a few words.
Runwu silently understood that this kind of thing, this kind of person, not everyone can encounter.
It's just a pity. Why didn't they come together later? Why did he let go of his hand?
Zhen Yixin's mouth was sour, and tears filled his eyes. She took a soft breath and closed her eyes again. This time, she was really a little sleepy.
Seeing that she had not spoken for a long time, Yan looked back. At this time, she was sleeping peacefully and breathing shallowly.
He had never seen her look so quiet. He squinted and stared at her quietly for a long time.
I have n’t seen her for many years, her face has n’t changed much, her eyebrows are curved, her eyelashes are long, her skin is very white, like transparent porcelain, she never blushes. The skin on the neck is as delicate as jade, inexplicably giving a cool touch
The wind came in from the window, cool and warm. The floor is covered with small petals, a few steps away is the blue sky, the wind is on the treetops, the birds are calling
In the mist, Zhen Yi felt that someone had covered her with a thin blanket.
She knew it was words.
Words, the boy who remembers the words but listens.
In recent years, the more I grow up, the more people around me are indulging in confessing themselves, but they do n’t listen to other people ’s stories.
Unlike many people who met with Zhen Yi, when they talked about their own affairs, they talked eloquently and listened to other people's stories.
Is not like.
There was a distant wind outside the window, and in the haze, she drifted back to high school, and one day after they were together. Until then, she had always thought that the twitter around him, he had never heard of it.
Actually not
It was summer, the blue sky was so clean that there was no cloud, the sun was unprecedentedly large, and the air was sultry.
In physical education class, Yange practiced modern archery alone in the corner of the playground. Zhen Yi was not interested and sat on the ground to grab grass.
At the beginning, she was curious about the delicate and advanced bow in his hand, making troubles to learn.
He taught her to recognize the sight, arrow base, bow shock absorber, central stabilizer, and explain the effects one by one.
He explained quietly that she interrupted lively.
Words are always patient, telling her how to aim and how to shoot arrows. But he didn't hug and teach her from behind like he did on TV. Even her arm was not straight, he just raised her hand with an arrow.
After several misses, he could not get his hands-on demonstration, and Zhen Yi lost his interest completely.
She has always been half-hearted in doing things; and he is not a character he likes and wants the world to accept and like, so he does not force it.
That day, as usual, he adjusted his bow and arrow quietly and seriously, but she kept muttering on the grass because of the depressed experience. She said that she fell in the corridor the night before, leaving her world-class beautiful legs with scars worth millions, and could not make leg models in the future; also said that education should start from the doll, and the children would be beaten and damaged Parents are not compensated for the lights in the corridors, and they are not responsible for public safety. They also said that the government wants the villages in the city to be renovated, and the security of their living quarters is worse
The wind is floating on the treetops,
The leaves scrubbed and occasionally fell on her head.
Sitting on the mottled grass in the sun, she indignantly accused a class.
He didn't listen and didn't listen. He practiced with a firm posture, focused on the red hearts and shot. There was no response and no interruption to her self-talk.
After school, he rarely offered to send her home until she went downstairs.
It was a very gray and ugly building in the old factory. She lived on the top five floors. I usually do n’t go home at noon, saying that the upstairs is as hot as a steamer, and the dense heat makes people unable to breathe.
Walking to the front of the building, she looked up at him with a blushing face: "The corridor is very dirty, no need to send me up."
Words said: "I had no such intention."
In this case, Zhen Yi never gets angry.
"Then bye!" She smiled broadly, beckoning at him, and she slipped into the corridor and disappeared.
She sprinted like a hundred meters and ran up to the 5th floor in one breath. Rushing into the house, he ran to the window and looked out without throwing his schoolbag.
If she could see a quiet and quiet back, and walk slowly on the tree-lined trail of the setting sun, she would be as happy as eating ice cream.
But the yard was empty, and the glow was swaying, but there was no shadow of him.
how come!
She was anxious.
She spent only 15 seconds on the 5th floor, and her heart was running fast.
She was not reconciled and rushed out of the door nervously. Aunt and cousin looked at her suspiciously like a wind.
In the old-fashioned stairwell, the handrails are rusty and the steps are covered with garbage. The window was small and the stairwell started to dim before the sun set.
Looking downstairs, I saw black and white handrails and a pale shadow on a floor. Zhen Yi stunned and crept down. Little by little, she saw the stairs,
Yan Ge stepped on the residents' briquettes and raised his head, enough to change the light bulb.
He was slender and stretched like an arrow, and he was a little sweaty behind his white shirt.
The corridor was very dark, and the walls were covered with grey smoke and graffiti. Only the faint glow of the window penetrated his fine short hair.
He tilted his head and twisted the light bulb with both hands. The ceiling was dirty and the dust was falling. Suddenly, he quickly lowered his head, and flying debris fell into his eyes. Conditioned to rub, but just holding the back of his nose against the bridge of his nose.
Fingers are dirty.
He closed his eyes, and after a second of inactivity, he shook his head vigorously and stopped.
Zhen Yi stood on a dozen levels of stairs and held her breath.
There was noisy cooking in the dim pan, and the air was filled with the aroma of sour beans and fried meat.
Finally, Yan Yan looked up again and twisted.
In an instant, milky white lights poured down from his hands, shrouded him in an illusory dream like a white gauze. When the hand is loose, the conical light diverges and spreads the corridor softly.
Zhen Yi heard her heart pounding in her chest.
With a leap of words, he jumped from the high coal pile. When he looked up, he saw Zhen Yi standing on the stairs. He looked at him with a touch of expression, and said in his eyes that he wanted to agree with him.
The light fell from the top of his head, making his face extremely white, his eyes extremely black, and his face awkward.
"Did you hear me?" She rejoiced.
"I'm not deaf." He turned his head away. "You muttered a lesson."
"Ah, I'm so wordy." Zhen Yi threw out her tongue.
"Well, there is no logic to speak, and the focus cannot be grasped."
When he practiced archery, he wondered: How can she utter a speech in such a simple matter?
However, in addition to feeling that "world-class beautiful legs" were to be discussed, he still grasped her meaning instantly,
"To sum it up for you: Someone broke the stairwell light, no one repaired it, you fell in the dark."
One sentence summed up her whispering all afternoon.
Zhen Yi: "Yes, really."
But anyway, she was happy to die, jumped down the stairs a few steps, stepped on the last level, shortened the height difference with him, gently tipped her feet, and her arms were wrapped around his neck: "Speech, you It's kind to me, I like to die you. "
She was rubbing on his neck like a puppy.
The speech was uncomfortable, and the cold hairs had to be erected. If he had picked her up and shook him off, he was all gray and dirty, and he could not touch people so impolitely.
Uncomfortable uncomfortable!
But he couldn't back away and avoid, she couldn't pull her off the steps.
He had seen her extraordinary clinging ability, she would definitely not let go of her hands, her feet were hanging in the air, hanging on his neck like a hanged ghost.
With a helpless sigh in her heart, she silently decided to be ready at all times. When she let go, she played her speed advantage and ran immediately.
Hey, he really convinced her.
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