Die on Mars

(I found a short story in the old paper pile many years ago. I dug it out today. It was very badly written. I posted it to make everyone laugh.)

one

The inspector looked down at the form, "What number is this?"

The test officer did not raise his head. He was very busy and could not waste time on such trivial matters as raising his head.

"No. 2689."

"I'm asking which one is in this spiral arm!"

"No. 2689." The test officer put down the telescope in his hand and raised his head. "Mr. Inspector, your mental state is unstable. I recommend that you undergo a psychological test."

"Fuck your psychological test! I don't do that kind of shit..." The inspector dropped the form in his hand on the ground. He didn't understand how he was assigned to this place. In addition to being crazy, this place is also a bunch of scientists. madman.

"Mr. Inspector, your behavior is very dangerous." The test officer pointed out his mistake. "Wood pulp and paper are very scarce and valuable resources. You have no right to dispose of them at will. This behavior may result in you being punished."

"I'm the administrator!" The inspector waved his hands and said angrily, "I know the resource protection regulations better than you! Damn it, why do we still record information in such an inefficient and ancient way?"

"Because networking is dangerous." The test officer leaned over and picked up the form spread out on the ground. "Only the oldest behaviors can threaten the oldest things, just like what you just did." The test officer pointed around, " But no ancient way can get in here."

The inspector sat down. Of course he knew where this place was. This is the safest place in the world. The predecessors dug through thousands of kilometers of the earth's mantle with their fearless spirit and amazing single rib, and spent countless manpower and material resources just to build this mere 50 square meters in the core of the earth. Space.

This is the computer room of the Earth's Core Drive Central Brain.

But that disaster proved to be just a joke. The liquid metal in the earth's core did not stop flowing, the magnetic field did not disappear, and people did not need to be exposed to deadly stellar storms... Naturally, there was no need to expend great efforts to drive the earth's core.

So this place was occupied by a bunch of scientific lunatics who didn't know what loneliness was. In order to show the government's sovereignty over this territory that was independent of the surface, the Archon symbolically sent an inspector.

The inspector thinks this is a completely unnecessary move. It takes a full day to take a high-speed elevator from here to the surface, and it is not that far to Satellite 3. He believed that even if these so-called scientific madmen set up their own country and wanted to establish a country, there would be no need to worry about it. Fifty square meters of land would be the biggest joke in history. As long as the supplies are cut off, everyone underground will not survive for three days.

The inspector picked up the telescope and through the lens, he could see a blue planet, crystal clear and as beautiful as the rarest pearl.

"it's beautiful."

"Before you say this...Inspector, you must realize that this is an image sent by the quantum real-time communication system." The test officer lowered his head to organize the form, "So even if you get close enough to lean against the wall, the image will not change. big."

"Is this No. 2689?" the inspector asked.

"Yes, it has a satellite in an eight-star star system, and its distance from us is only 2.54 light-years." The test officer nodded, "According to the infrared signal observation results, No. 2689 belongs to the materialized carbon-based civilization. It has an intersection with us in terms of survival, its civilization level has reached B3 level, and its technological development speed is judged as 'medium risk'. According to regulations, we need to observe and test it."

"Can you please not mention your damn psychological test?" The inspector put down the telescope - what he always called the dictionary-sized observation terminal in his hand.

"That's the rule, sir."

"I never think psychological testing is strong evidence. You are just wasting taxpayers' money pointlessly." The inspector gently pushed the console, and he sat on the swivel chair and slid to the other side of the room.

The gravity in the Earth's core is zero, and the Inspector adjusts the artificial gravity to 0.5 G, which allows him to move more easily and distinguish up, down, left, and right.

"Yes... sir." The test officer nodded, "This is indeed not strong evidence, but what I studied in college is the psychology of civilization. If this test is cancelled, I will be unemployed."

"This is no reason to keep me here..." the inspector muttered, "You are wasting resources."

"Your accusation is unreasonable. I only occupy one 3.2 billionth of the computing process of the central computer, but my role may be greater than that of the other 3.19999/3.2 billion. Everything you do is important." The test officer began to adjust the telescope, "You have to believe that a civilization has a psychology."

"Okay...how are you going to test this time?"

"Using the most popular expression and the most cruel testing method." The test officer turned around and smiled, "Can you please hand me the light bulb next to you."

two

The phone buzzed in my pocket.

Yang Yuan was stunned, lowered his head and took out his mobile phone. There was a text message on the LCD screen.

"Son, will you go home for the Mid-Autumn Festival this year?"

The signature is "Mom and Dad".

In this era where network communication methods are so developed that Yang Yuan has almost forgotten that his mobile phone has the ancient function of sending and receiving text messages. He has long been accustomed to a life where all social interactions are on the Internet, and only two people have ever contacted him in this forgotten way.

Parents are afraid to make phone calls because they are worried that it will interfere with their son's work.

Old people cannot accept new things, so they are laughed at by young people.

Yang Yuan began to reply that he was not going to go back. There is only one day off during the Mid-Autumn Festival. It is not easy to get out of the dark sea of ​​​​work. It is a rare day when you no longer have to face boring data. How can you waste time on the way home?

Yang Yuan pressed the send button and turned off the screen backlight.

Two figures were reflected on the dark glass screen.

"Teacher Ouyang." Yang Yuan stood up quickly, feeling uneasy - playing with mobile phones during working hours is against the rules.

The old man smiled and shook his head, patting the young man's shoulder gently, "Sit down, Xiaoyuan."

The old man pulled up a chair and sat down. Yang Yuan secretly looked up with some curiosity... He had only seen the man in front of him from a distance during the leader's inspection. The highly respected chief scientist of China's lunar exploration project, to a young graduate student like him, It's so far away. But at this time, the distance between the old man and him was less than half a meter. He was wearing a white coat, his hair was neatly and meticulously combed, and he was looking energetic with his hands folded.

"Were you just chatting with your girlfriend?" The old man smiled a little narrowly.

"No, no, no, no..." Yang Yuan blushed, "I don't have a girlfriend yet. It was sent by my parents, asking me if I would go back during the Mid-Autumn Festival."

"Then are you going back?"

"I won't go back." Yang Yuan shook his head, "My home is in Jiangxi, it's too far."

"Jiangxi..." The old man nodded, "Then he is from my hometown."

"Really?" Yang Yuan's eyes lit up.

"I'm from Ji'an." The old man smiled, "Xiaoyuan, you have been here for more than half a year, right? Have you ever returned home?"

"Too busy at work." Yang Yuan shook his head. Sometimes work may not be so busy that Yang Yuan can't get away, but instead of spending time on a long and difficult journey just to go home for a meal, it is better to go out with classmates. Take a walk.

"Let me tell you..." the old man patted Yang Yuan on the shoulder, "You should go home more often when you have the opportunity. Young people, if your parents are here, don't travel far away."

The old man stood up leisurely and looked up out of the window. The tall glass curtain wall reflected the last rays of the setting sun. Across the gravel road stood a pure white antenna. People built steel frames tens of meters high just to support this huge 50-caliber antenna. The 1-meter paraboloid is a shocking and great creation, a miracle that condenses the best wisdom of mankind, physics and engineering.

The radio telescope stood quietly and calmly, filled with golden sunlight.

This is the Beijing Miyun Station of the National Astronomical Observatory of the Chinese Academy of Sciences.

It's human eyes.

Yang Yuan is a graduate student studying for a master's degree in radio astronomy at the Chinese Academy of Sciences. What he does every day is to stay in front of the computer screen to interpret data. The only result is that his eyesight is declining rapidly. In order to relieve eye fatigue, Yang Yuan would habitually look up out of the window.

Yang Yuan was stunned. Although he was short-sighted, he was not blind. Anyone could spot such a big thing if it was placed there.

three

This is probably the most shocking thing for the U.S. government since the collapse of the Soviet Union.

"It must be a trick done by the Russians!" Herbert Carlisle threw the document on the conference table. The commander of the U.S. Pacific Air Force was originally in Okinawa to deal with the local F22 deployment issue, but an order from the president sent him across the night. Pacific Ocean.

"General Carlisle's hobby is to blame everything on Russia." The woman sitting opposite is the Secretary of State. She lowered her head and flipped through the documents. "That way he can ask Congress for money in a high-sounding way."

"Ma'am... I don't mean to offend, but apart from us, the only country that can do this is Russia." Carlisle sneered.

"Why can't it be China or Iran?" the Secretary of State asked. "Underestimating the enemy will bring disaster."

"Have you ever considered North Korea?" the vice president interjected. He is a typical old politician who has been in politics for decades. All the characteristics that any professional politician should have can be found in him. "Their threat is the greatest."

"If North Korea had the technological capabilities to do that..." Carlisle replied, "I don't think we would have time to sit here and have a meeting."

"That's enough, ladies and gentlemen, please stay quiet." The president crossed his hands and took a deep breath. "I didn't call you here to let you quarrel here."

Everyone fell silent.

Then they heard the sound of the door being locked, which meant that from now on, no one except them would have the right to observe the meeting.

The president nodded, and the old man at the bottom of the conference table stood up.

The curtain hanging on the wall lit up, and the old man stepped forward and stood in front of everyone.

"Let's hear what Mr. Director has to say." The president pointed to the screen behind him.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm very sorry." The old man was NASA Administrator Charles Bolden. He was the first person to realize the seriousness of the problem among all the people present. He met with the president overnight to state that this might be a serious problem for humans and even life on earth. The biggest crisis faced in hundreds of millions of years of history, and persuaded him to convene senior government officials to hold this meeting overnight.

"We have reason to believe that... no country on earth, including us, is capable of doing this," the director said.

"We have just been in contact with Moscow and Beijing." The president nodded. "They deny it."

A huge picture appeared on the blank curtain behind it. The planet's gray-black surface was covered with craters. This picture was familiar to everyone. It could be seen with a thirty-centimetre telescope.

This is the moon.

But everyone was shocked by another fact that went against common sense. An extremely large black number suddenly appeared on the originally desolate moon surface.

30.

It was as if someone had engraved it on the moon. The writing was extremely clear across the entire front of the moon. After magnification, you could even see the shadows in the ravines.

"This is ridiculous..." Carlisle shook his head, "As early as forty years ago, your astronauts told us that there is nothing on the moon!"

"Yes." Charles nodded, "The environment on the moon is harsh enough to kill any living thing."

"Then how do you explain this?" The vice president burst out in anger, "Don't tell me there is a Transformers spaceship hidden on the back of the moon!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is not the plot of a science fiction movie, and no one will pay for any of our mistakes. The crisis we are facing is unprecedented. This is a photo from the day before yesterday." The director's face was serious, and he pressed the button to change the photo. , "This is from yesterday..."

The moon itself does not change, the number becomes 29.

"Could this be a prank?" The Secretary of State gestured with both hands, "Like a large projection or something."

"Unfortunately, these writings are three thousand meters deep." The director shook his head. "As you can see, these numbers span the entire front side of the moon, with a length and width of two thousand kilometers..."

The director took a deep breath and came to a desperate conclusion, "This is a miracle."

"This is for tonight."

28.

"If this was carved by man, then the width of the carving knife would reach an incredible two hundred kilometers." The director once again reminded everyone present that this matter is beyond the scope of human capabilities.

There was dead silence.

The first to speak out was the Vice President. He buried his hands deeply in his hair and slowly closed his eyes.

"Oh, God……"

"Ladies and gentlemen." The director announced the results of the meeting, his voice echoing in the room, "Advanced alien civilizations exist, and they are trying to contact us, but the bad thing is... we don't think these numbers are friendly greetings. "

(To be continued)