Doomsday Wonderland

Remember [new] in one second! I don’t remember the reason why I was sent back to the orphanage for the first time. Suan

I was still very young at that time, I didn’t have a name, and I couldn’t even remember anything. Later, when I got a few years older, I gradually discovered many scars in some hidden corners of my body. They were rare in shape and large in area, but they didn't hurt to the touch. They must have appeared very, very early, and they feel like they are my fingers and toes, something I was born with and have been with me from the beginning of my life.

When I was returned to the orphanage for the second time, I was still not called Gong Daoyi.

But I remember what happened that day. I have forgotten all the details on the way back to the orphanage; the earliest scene in my mind started when I stood at the door of the dean’s office. I don't know who opened the door. I put my ear against the wall, raised my head, and looked at the back of the couple's heads in the chair, shaking slightly from side to side as they spoke.

"...I can't accept it..." The man named "Dad" who had been with him for more than two months lowered his voice and spoke very quickly. "I'm sincerely sorry... But starting from today, I hope to be relieved of all responsibilities... If necessary, I will ask a lawyer..."

The dean muttered a few words in a vague voice, and made a protest that was not too intense and probably just a formality. The couple stood up, and there was a scraping sound when the chairs were pushed out by them.

When they opened the door and walked out, I took a step back.

As soon as the woman lowered her head, she suddenly saw me standing by the door. She was startled and screamed lowly from her throat - when you came back to your senses, you seemed to have lost your composure, your face was neither red nor white, and you looked at me. You stretched out a hand. Suan

"I'm sorry, you..."

However, this hand was still waiting to touch you, but he suddenly remembered something and retracted it, as if he was afraid of being electrocuted. You straightened up, took a step forward, and was held by your husband.

"It looks like the child God prepared for them," the adoptive father's old friend joked when he thought you were hearing. "The temperament and behavior are exactly the same as theirs. How can the children in the orphanage not have such a bad upbringing? How much effort did they put in?"

The adoptive mother sipped the white coffee and only noticed her nodding with a smile on her face, or saying "um, yes".

On this day, you left some food first, and before the ants communicated with each other and formed a long, resting queue, you applied weak glue under a piece of paper, only half of it was applied. On the half with and without glue, you generously left a few pieces of coconut macaron.

"Why did he leave these almond crumbs?" I asked with a smile, my eyes flashing in front of my lenses.

"What is he talking about?" your adoptive father interrupted you without any shock. Suan

That will be their most abundant harvest so far, and it will also be their harvest that they can move home forever.

While you were at the door, you also asked from the bottom of your heart - what do they know?

"What is he doing?"

"It's very unlikely that the child's behavior was stable because the family environment was not poisonous." The adoptive father once said loudly to the adoptive mother under the breakfast table, "In a family like yours, Outside of the environment, Dao Yi will naturally be led to develop worse traits. Although you specialize in child psychology, the impact of the environment the day before yesterday on the critical period..."

One after another, the ants are still running towards each other, and one after another they are stuck under the paper; they struggle fiercely, and after a while, you even find a few broken legs under the paper. and tentacles.

The earliest thing you remember seems to have happened a long time ago when you stepped back into the house.

As if with a little willingness, your adoptive mother gradually becomes softer towards you. Suan

It's something that is hard to resist by nature, not to mention that you were only an eight-year-old child at the time. You feel like you haven't done all you can do; but from the perspective of an educated, professional adult, your performance may still be full of flaws.

When you were adopted for the eighth time and the first time, you knew that the dean had been chatting with the adoptive parents for a long time outside the office.

"Eight stool legs, this is for anti-social personality, Tao Yi-" When the adoptive father said that, his voice suddenly stopped.

The foster father looked happier. "Observing ants is boring to him, isn't it? Oh, bad, daddy, let's buy him an ant farm. He can't study the ants from their birth... As for these wild ants, It may have an impact on other plants outside the yard, let’s not let them come for the time being, is it bad or bad?”

This is the time when you are rich and satisfied; you are fascinated by the dying struggle of the ants, forgetting everything, watching the squirming corpses under half a piece of paper becoming less and less, becoming more and more full, like a bad An Ant's Hell Picture Scroll. Surely they can make a sound——

I said a lot of professional words, but to your young ears, they were not very hard to understand, like words like a code; judging from the look and attitude of my adoptive father, I seemed to be very satisfied not only with you, but also with myself. Very satisfied too.

You picked your neighbor's flowers for you; when you came to check on you, you pretended to be asleep and called you "Mom" - that kind of call should be used immediately, and it must be used on the edge of the knife. It works; you secretly water your green plants and potted flowers, but of course, you are seen every time. Suan

The long, dull heart-to-heart talk ahead was of course a mention.

You pressed your ears closer, wondering what we were going to do to you next.

"The ants have nothing to eat, and they will come back to play occasionally." You seemed to have answered like that at the time.

"I'm really bad and pretty. You've seen a lot of older boys with such bad looks." A male student murmured, "Before I grew up, I knew how to break the hearts of many boys..."

"You said there are so few ants outside the yard recently," the adoptive father shook out the newspaper before dinner one day and said with a smile: "It turns out that the child has been feeding them! Dao Yi, here he comes."

How should you describe your mood at this time?

You believe you haven't guessed something at this time, even though you know where you are. Suan

Our house is also your home for more than ten years. It is an old house with the same high-profile and calmness as its owner. The furniture is not gorgeous, but every piece is heavy and has not been there for many years. My adoptive father's study upstairs also serves as a consultation room for receiving patients; my adoptive mother is not a practitioner, but is a foreign teacher in the same primary school and the same major as me.

You trembled all over and even sat down on the ground. Hanging in mid-air is the grave and ugly face of the adoptive father. You will find out when you come here that one of my patients failed to make an appointment.

At this time, your adoptive mother just listened with a smile on her face and joined in the praise of you. After a while, you thought that your impression of you was not so bad; that was really strange, because when you were in the orphanage, you seemed to be sincerely happy to be able to take you home.

"I'm quite stupid," the adoptive father couldn't help being proud and said to the guest: "You did a set of children's intelligence tests for me. For a child with almost zero post-school education, my performance was amazing. "

"Listen to you," you said loudly while holding you down during your sudden and violent struggle: "He knows right from wrong, and that is not his fault. But you doubt that he can't learn to distinguish right from wrong. Know right from wrong... Even if he never knows what guilt and regret is, he still makes the right choice. While you are there, you will accompany him every step of the way. Don't be afraid, don't be afraid..." Like you, a A girl who is weak and rude (I am sure if he allows you to gossip, you will add stupidity and beauty to the list), even under the age of seven or eight, when she is not considered too young yet, there is still a shortage of people willing to adopt you. .

The woman glanced at you, said nothing, tugged on her wife's sleeve tightly, turned around and left. You watch our figures walking away from the corridor, and listen to this man ask loudly: "...I will remember the road, right? It's so far..."

You walked over and put your hands under the armrests of my single sofa. Suan

We hugged Bad for a while before we walked out of the Dean's office.

Just then, the door opened.

There is not a series of things in between. In fact, your memory is too vague. There is only one or another accidental example. For reasons that are difficult to explain, in the fog called childhood, scattered and lonely lights shine. Light, light penetrates time and shines outside your current mind.

"You are very willing to help me. The more ordinary a child is, the more specialized knowledge is needed to educate him." The adoptive father said, "Do you also think there are more suitable people than you?"

[Search "Spring Gift" on Xiaoxiang APP and new users will receive 500 book coins, and old users will receive 200 book coins] The adoptive parents' house does not have a big yard, no soil, and no plants, so naturally there are many insects and ants. You slowly discover that there is no ant nest in the distance, and the ants will retreat from the corners of the wall. You turned a blind eye to this matter for a month or so, and finally couldn't hold back your itch and ended up in the yard. Leave some pieces of paper in a hidden place outside. Under the pieces of paper are the snack dregs you saved for your morning tea.

You also raised your head and saw your adoptive mother sitting under the sofa reading a book. You only wear glasses when you are not studying; at this moment, your glasses slid down to the bridge of your nose, and the light of the fire outside the fireplace danced under the lenses. The white eyes of your adoptive mother stare straight at you from under the lenses, focused and serious, with no trace of joy.

The sweet coconut macarons were just around the corner, under half a piece of clean paper, gradually moistening the surface of the paper. Suan

The adoptive mother stood in front of the door, her face facing the light, and it was too vague to see in the dark. You had never been caught in the act, and you were moving forward on your own, but your adoptive mother held your shoulders.

That evening, as soon as the adoptive mother returned home, she was pulled out of the study. Behind the heavy wooden door of the study, you and your adoptive mother listened in silence to your adoptive father's description of the ant incident; what finally made you lose your composure was your adoptive mother's almost violent voice.

By the seventh week of feeding the ants, they will develop a habit of always coming to a fixed location - under the piece of paper you left - to look for food.

I turned around and said to my adoptive mother, "Daoyi must not have any scientific talent."

There is always a shortage of friends, students and patients coming and going outside the house; before you had a child, perhaps out of politeness, we always didn’t praise you.

In order to be bought again, you treat you twice as bad - something a big girl can do to win the bad impression of an adult man. As a boy with both parents and the need to deliberately please him, he may have thought that this was the right thing to do. Much less.

You are also very satisfied with the appearance of your adoptive parents. We are not naturally beautiful people, but our temperament, conversation, and behavior are all the same as the other people you saw outside the orphanage at that time. The adoptive father wears gold-rimmed glasses, speaks calmly, and wears leather patches under his inner sleeves; the adoptive mother is tall and straight, reading a book www.uukanshu.net with soft eyes, and seems to have no limited patience when talking to you. Suan

In addition to being sensible, sometimes a little awkwardness and temper are also necessary; sometimes only your adoptive father can coax you, and sometimes only your adoptive mother can spoil you. You came to quietly add some presence to the former, in order to let you know how important you are to you.

Couples who come to see their children, or same-sex couples, often have their eyes light up before they even take a look at you. We speak to you softly, whispering to the carer as we leave - "How could such a bad-looking child stay there to that age? Am I a bad-tempered child?"

"You are not mentally prepared for a long time, are you?" You said anxiously, "You are saying that he also knows the theory of the eight legs of the stool. Natural defects, childhood abuse, and the education and environment the day before yesterday... I haven’t taken two of them yet. What you can do is not take the eighth one——”

"If I am sure who should take that child away, it must be them." The dean looked relieved and said, "There are no more suitable candidates than them..."

This weak adhesive was found in the basement. It seems to have come from a certain interior renovation, and it is very ineffective. The ants, who were called Little Powerful Kings by the teacher, sank deeper into the quagmire step by step. Their long and slender tentacles were thrust in tremblingly, causing their whole bodies to sway slightly, but they still managed to move back. Take a step forward.