Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

"...ake up."

Huh? Was I hearing things?

...whatever, back to sleep.

"Hey, wake up!"

"H-huh, wha-!? Nip slip...er...wait what? Oh, crap!"

I woke up with a start, blinking a couple of times before calming myself down. The last thing that I saw before I drifted off had influenced quite the risqué dream.

Wait, who just woke me up?

I turned my head towards where the voice had come from, my gaze met by Persia's piercing black eyes. Shit, did she hear what I'd said before I woke up? Wait, calm down.

Chances are that the term 'nip slip' doesn't exist in this world. Play it cool.

"Hey, Kitty Cat. How long have I been out?"

"Oh, uh, I don't know. I literally just woke up, only to find you next to me. Did you...lose-?"

"Of course not. Didn't I tell you that I'd win? Sure, I sustained a lot, lot more damage than my opponent, but I still came out on top in the end."

"Wait...really?"

"Why do you sound like you were expecting me to lose?"

"No, that wasn't what I meant! You just didn't look like someone who had just won a fight, your injuries may have healed, but your battle gear is in total pieces, and your sword is half as long as it used to be."

Guess she had a point, I didn't look like someone who had just won a fight.

"Oh crap, my sword! Wait, wait, wait. How long have I been out? There's an hour break scheduled between the end of the third round and the start of the semi-final round, but I feel like I've been asleep for more than an hour...no, surely someone would have come to wake me up if I had overslept, it'd be pretty anticlimactic for a semi-final match to end with a default win, after all. But then...ahh, I don't know what to think! Oh hey, on another note, my Mana and stamina feel almost completely restored. Nice."

"...did you get hit in the head or something?"

Yup, in fact one of my eardrums exploded.

"As a matter of fact, I did, actually. Forget that for now, I need some peace of mind, what time is it-!?"

"Calm down, you've still got a fair amount of time," Interrupted a voice, as the infirmary door opened and Vi walked in.

"Oh hey, it's you. How much time has passed since I fell asleep?"

"Um, about fifty minutes. Though we're still about thirty-five minutes away from the start of the next round. In case you're wondering about the fourth match, Fuo beat Siert. It was an extremely close fight, neither of them were able to dominate the other for long. In the end though, Fuo's arrows managed to get past Siert's defenses," She explained, her gaze averting every time I made eye contact.

Crap, she must be feeling awkward about what happened before I passed out. I'll just pretend like I don't remember.

"Are you alright? You're acting kinda...squirmy, Vi," Remarked Persia, staring at her curiously while giving me a suspicious side glance.

Gulp. Alright, just play it cool.

"Wha-? N-no, nothing's wrong! I, uh...just, well, before Kuro fell asleep..."

No, no, no! I was not about to let this escalate. I'd seen enough fanservice-y anime to know that I need to shut this down ASAP.

"Hm? Did I do something before I passed out? I...don't really remember, the last thing I can recall is you helping me here, and then there were the healing Spell Scrolls...and the rest is kind of a blur," I said, acting like I was trying hard to remember.

Please, don't let me down, my acting skills.

"O-Oh, no, you didn't do anything! Just forget about it, it's no big deal. A-anyway, I should get going, I want to find a good seat in the audience to watch the rest of the tournament from. Good luck with your next match, Kuro! And glad to see that you're looking better too, Persia! Later, you two!"

With that, she left. Hopefully, she'd never bring up that event again. For now, at least, I was safe.

"Hey, Kuro."

Or maybe not.

"Yeah, what's up, Cat Girl?"

"The opponent you defeated actually helped you walk here? That's a pretty strange picture."

Whew. Safe, after all.

"Well, I may have won, but afterwards I was in much worse shape than she was. She insisted on helping me and I didn't have the strength to argue, so yeah."

I think I'll rest in here for another ten minutes or so, and then head back to the waiting area. Come to think of it, I was feeling a bit hungry. Just hope they weren't serving frog legs again. Hmm, on second thought, maybe I should head out right away-.

"Oh, one more thing. Did you really forget whatever happened that had Vi all flustered?"

Damn it, I dropped my guard too soon!

"I guess so, I was barely conscious the whole time after the fight. Nothing's really coming to mind," I replied, furrowing my brow as if I was thinking hard.

Nice, I should totally get an Oscar...wait, those don't exist here.

"I'm not convinced. The way she reacted almost certainly meant that whatever happened was significant," She countered, eyeing me suspiciously.

Tch, she was a tough one to trick.

Time for a change in plan, if I couldn't convince her of my innocence, I'll just put it off and hope she forgets to bring it up again.

"Whatever, I don't have the willpower to defend myself when I don't even know what I'm defending myself against. If you're really that determined to find me guilty, could you at least hold off until the end of the tournament? My next match is literally the main reason we all entered this thing in the first place, remember?"

"Hmm...I suppose you're right. Fine, I'll hold off on this for now. And it's n-not like I especially want to find you guilty of something, I just- um...never mind! L-let's forget about it for now."

Sweet, it worked. Now I just have to hope that this topic is never brought up again. Just to be safe, I should head out now.

"Well, I'm off. I should get something to eat before my next fight begins. I'll see you later, Cat-."

"Hey, I know you're probably hungry, but what are going to do about your weapons? You've now lost both your blades," Interrupted Persia.

"Oh, don't worry about that. I still have a bunch of throwing knives and needles along with a couple of spare outfits. There's nothing I can do about my main weapons, so there's no point worrying about it. Besides...they may be my most useful weapons, but I can still fight just fine without them too," I shrugged, before heading out, "Later, Persia."

"Mm, alright, if you're sure you'll be okay. I don't think you should go empty handed though. Well, I'll be watching from the audience, so you better win. Good luck, Kuro."

I gave her a wave in response and headed out.

A little later, I entered the upstairs lounge and headed for the buffet table, piling up a plate with meat. I should be careful not to overeat, I could deal with hunger no problem, but fighting with an over-stuffed stomach was tough.

This place sure felt empty. Well, I was the only one in it at the moment, so it literally was empty. I assumed the other three semi-finalists must have already finished eating. Having the whole place to myself wasn't so bad though.

It was definitely peaceful-...and I spoke too soon, as Misen entered, and began walking over towards me.

"I really have to commend you, you've completely exceeded my expectations. I knew you had talent, but I honestly never expected you to defeat one of The Big Five so soon. Looks like I hit the jackpot when I got you to enter this tournament!"

Seriously? Could he not see me trying to eat, did he really have to do this right now?

"See, I've been itching for a good opponent, and the idea of an underdog defying all odds and facing me really appeals to my fancy, though of course, I come out on top in the end," He continued.

Does he really have to monologue right now?

"Could you at least wait till I'm done eating?" I growled in irritation.

"I am looking forward to our fight of course, but I still don't really see you as a serious threat. Still, you should be a good warm up before I finally take on Ekai in the final. He's never accepted my duel challenges, so I've been waiting for this for a while. No disrespect to Fuo, but there's no doubt that Ekai will make it to the final. And so will I, as I'll be the one to beat him!"

"Aaand my appetite is ruined."

Not to mention that he'd said a lot of things that had really grinded my gears.

"I do hope you'll still be able to give me a good fight despite the loss of your main weapons. Not to mention that you won't be at your best thanks to your last match. Those healing Spell Scrolls are pretty effective, but they're not quite perfect, I'm sure you can feel it, your Mana flow and stamina reserves feel a bit off. Well, just try to last about five minutes and entertain me-."

I cut him off as I picked up a fork, ran lightning through it, and held it millimeters away from his jugular.

"If you don't shut the hell up, you won't make it to the fight...I'll kill you right now."

"Heh, so intense. Alright then, I'll leave you be for now. Get ready to get crushed by me soon though!" He laughed cheerfully, giving me a wave as he left.

If he had been trying to rile me up before the fight, it had worked.

I was pretty damn irritated right now.

I took a few more bites and got up, glancing at the mechanical clock perched on one of the walls in the room. I still had about ten minutes. There was a small weapon store just outside the stadium, maybe I should go have a look. While I could still fight without a main weapon, it certainly wouldn't hurt to have one. I should hurry though.

As I jogged over to the outside of the stadium, someone bumped into me around a corner, looking like they were in a rush.

"Sorry about that, you alrigh- wait, Persia?"

"Sorry! I'm in a hurry- oh, hey Kuro."

We stared at each other, neither sure what to say, as an awkward silence loomed over us. Wait, what was I doing, I don't have much time!

"Can't chat, I need to check out the weapon shop outside before my match starts. You seem to be rushing too, so-."

"N-no! Or well, not anymore. I was, uh, actually looking for you," She interrupted, looking a bit awkward.

"Oh, what's up?"

"Well, uh...it's like, your match starts soon, but, um, your weapons...oh! So, uh, when's your birthday, Kuro?"

Well, that was confusing.

"Huh? Uhh, actually I don't know. I more or less know how many years I've been alive for, but I don't actually know the exact day I was born. It's always been a non-factor in my life," I answered.

She had been in that much of a hurry just to ask me when my birthday was?

Eh, whatever. After that irritating encounter with Misen, talking with her was just the medicine I needed.

"So, why do you want to know?" I inquired curiously.

"Um...I, uh, just...so you really don't have any day that you count as your birthday? Like not even the start or end of the year or something?"

"No, not really. I've never really thought about it that much, to be honest. But if it means that much to you, why don't we just call today my birthday? What's today's date again?"

"Okay, that works perfectly! Today's the 19th of April-."

"On second thought, let's make it tomorrow!" I quickly interrupted.

Heh, now my birthday was on 4/20, nice. Why didn't I think of this before?

"O-oh, okay. I guess that works too..."

Huh, what was up with her? She was acting kinda weird.

That's when I noticed for the first time that she had something behind her back.

"...um, I guess you can consider this an early birthday present," She mumbled, as her cheeks turned red and she averted her gaze, handing me the items she was holding.

It was a dagger and short-sword, with dark black handles and sheathes.

...wow.

I...didn't know what to say, this was the first time I'd ever gotten a present from someone. As I grasped them, the weight felt perfect in my hands, and they were exactly the right length too.

"I j-just felt like taking a walk before the next match, a-and I came across a weapon store. And then I saw these, and since you've lost your blades, I figured you could use them in the next match. Th-though, if they aren't to your liking, it's not like you're obligated to use them or anything."

"I...I...I'm speechless. This is a first for me, I had no idea that I could even feel...this happy," I replied, as my body felt like it was enveloped in a warm glow.

"Y-you don't n-need to be so dramatic! So, um...do you like them?"

"Yeah, the weight and length of both of them feel just right!" I answered, drawing the dagger out of it's sheathe, my eyes widening in amazement, "Oh, wow! The blade is black...same with the short-sword too! So cool!"

"R-really? I'm so glad you like them! I-I mean, it's good that they feel comfortable, you'll be able to use them in your fight. Not that I was worried about that or anything! As for the blades, they're forged using a rare metal known as Black Steel, they're much tougher than any other metal, these won't break so easily!"

"And they look so cool! And they fit perfectly with my black aesthetic. On another note, I wish my eyes were black instead of blue. Wait a second...you said rare metal...uh, how much did you-?"

"H-hey, i-it's rude to ask someone the p-price of something they got you! Look, don't worry about it! W-would you look at the t-time, your match starts in like two minutes, they're probably looking for you already. Get going before you're late!"

Crap, she was right! I need to hurry! As I began rushing towards the arena, I stopped and turned back.

"Persia...this really...means a lot to me. I-I'm glad...that the first present I've gotten in my life...was from you."

With that, I turned forward and dashed for the arena before she could respond.

You know, I never feel less like an assassin than when I'm around her. Even when facing death, I can keep my cool perfectly well, but when I'm with her, the smallest thing could get me flustered. It was embarrassing to admit, but...I didn't mind it.

As I strapped my new weapons onto my outfit, I realized that, across both my lives, no one mattered to me as much as she did. Admitting that to myself made my face turn red and my heart beat like a drum, but after the events of the last few minutes, there was no way I could deny it.

And as I came into the view of the audience as I headed for the arena, I felt...confident, and calm. Winning this fight was not going to be easy by any stretch of the imagination, and yet I didn't feel at all nervous or worried.

"For a moment I thought you'd gotten afraid and weren't going to show. Hmm, looks like you got some replacement weapons, hope they'll help you make this fight fun for me!" Greeted Misen with a smirk, equipped with his white and gray battle gear, along with the spear on his back.

That comment ticked me off for some reason.

"Afraid of you? Please, you have no idea what real fear looks like. I'll be happy to teach it to you as I crush you. Oh, and one more thing..."

"Ready..."

"Don't you ever call these replacements again. Or I'll kill you."

"...FIGHT!"

We both shot forward at the same time using Lightning Boost, as I drew both blades and streamed lightning through them. As we neared each other, he evaded my stab directed towards his heart with my dagger and threw a punch aimed at my head, as I ducked and slashed upwards at him with the short-sword, grazing his cheek as he jumped backwards.

I was using Lightning Boost at x2.2, the highest amount that I could fully control right now. But he was only slightly faster than me in that last exchange, which meant...he was still holding back. He was able to pull off a x3 boost when I'd first met him, it had been over two months since then. I had to approach this fight while keeping in mind that just as I had gotten stronger since then, he could very well have gotten stronger himself.

If he was going to hold back and underestimate me...I'll just take him out before he gets serious. I flung a handful of throwing knives imbued with lightning at him, before charging towards him and relentlessly aiming multiple slashes and strikes at his chest and neck without letting up.

Don't give him a chance to break free, if he didn't plan on using that spear, make sure to take full advantage.

He was evading all my strikes, but not completely, I kept nicking him every so often. I needed a bit more precision. Time to enhance my mind.

Bloodlust Mode.

My mind cleared itself of any thoughts not related to the fight. My focus was on my next move, and how I'll lead up to creating an opening for the finishing blow.

I slashed down with my sword at his left shoulder, forcing him to dodge right, as I drove the dagger towards his right side. He quickly turned his body to evade it, but couldn't avoid a cut across his torso. I flipped the dagger and changed my grip so that the blade was pointing towards where he had moved to.

I then stabbed across, aiming for his throat, as he dodged to minimize the damage to a scratch on his neck. My right arm wasn't in a great position to swing my sword, but it wasn't a problem. I tossed up the short-sword and caught the handle between my teeth, swinging my head across, with the blade slashing across his nose and cheek, as he jumped back just in time to avoid getting a chunk of his nose cut off.

He then increased his speed and shot away, creating some distance. He wiped away the blood on his face and, for the first time in this tournament, took his spear into his hands. He then charged at me and swung the spear at my head, as I parried with my sword and drove my dagger forward at his chest.

He evaded and countered by firing a lightning bolt at my head, zapping the tip of my ear as I ducked to avoid it. He then streamed lightning through his spear, causing the blue crystal-like blade at the end of it to start glowing.

He swung it at my midsection as I blocked with both blades, and as his spear clashed onto my weapons, it glowed even brighter, and then I felt it begin to overwhelm my defenses, as I found myself being sent flying back.

Whatever the blade of his spear was made of, it was definitely intensifying his lightning strikes. I began to regain my balance, but he was already in front of me again, the blade of his spear driving towards my chest.

Looks like he was using his Lightning Boost at x3 or at least something close to it, I had to act fast. I turned my body to the right, while redirecting all of my Lightning Boost into my legs, before unfurling a rapid left kick at his right side.

His spear pierced the right side of my chest, as my drastically boosted kick slammed into the side of his torso, sending him flying across the arena, the spear pulled out of my chest as he maintained his grip on it.

Before he could crash onto the barrier wall, he stabbed his spear into the ground to halt. My kick had landed just below his ribs, so he hadn't broken anything, though given by the way he was holding it, it had definitely hurt.

The hole in my chest was slow to heal, looks like forcibly recovering my Mana and stamina through those scrolls was having a negative effect on my Healing Factor. And the muscles in my left leg were completely fried, I could barely move it at all. My kick had knocked the wind out of him, but he had avoided getting any injuries.

He charged towards me as I began to heal myself, his spear glowing and crackling with electricity. I couldn't afford to move much while healing my leg or it would just get damaged further, I need to defend myself while rooted to this spot long enough to at least heal my leg.

As he approached me, he jumped up and swung the spear straight down at me. I blocked his strike, but the force of the intensified lightning in the tip of his spear made it feel like I was holding up a ton of bricks. The ground beneath me cracked as he pressed down on me with the spear, the already-damaged muscles in my left leg tearing apart and my knee buckling.

He then began charging up a lightning bolt in his mouth.

I parried the spear off to my right, unable to avoid it slashing my shoulder thanks to my movements being restricted. I was too late to evade his lightning attack, as it blasted into my chest, stunning my nervous system for a moment.

And in that moment, with swift efficiency, he swung the spear across at my torso, ripping my gut open and sending me crashing into the barrier wall.

"Is that all that you're capable of? I'll give you credit for making me use my spear and Lightning Boost at x3, but it looks like this fight is already over," Stated Misen, as he walked towards me.

I didn't have time to heal all these injuries. No matter. That last lightning bolt had given me an idea. I just need my leg healed.

"I should thank you for that last attack. It made me realize that I don't necessarily have to heal all my injuries, just the ones that hamper my movements. As for the rest...I just need to stop the bleeding. You have no idea what I'm capable of, don't make the mistake of underestimating me," I said, standing up as I fully focused my healing factor onto my left leg, healing the damaged muscles rapidly.

Now then...

I fried my slashed stomach with my lightning, stopping it from bleeding. When he had struck my chest with that blast from his mouth, it had seared the hole in my chest and stopped the bleeding.

That's when I realized, so long as I can prevent losing too much blood, I can keep fighting without having to heal certain injuries.

I focused my mind, immersing myself deeper into Bloodlust Mode, and reactivated my full body Lightning Boost, wrapping my blades with lightning and extending them.

"Hahaha, amazing! It's been a while since an opponent has exceeded my expectations to this extent! I knew I was right to provoke you," He smirked, his eyes filled with anticipation.

Time to end this.

"I'll be wiping that smirk off of your face."

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