Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

A few days after the tennis matches and run-in with those bandits, we were in class, in the middle of an extra session.

At least a couple of times a week, we'd have a two hour session where random Adventurers would take over the class and teach us whatever it was they specialized in.

It was usually pretty boring and pointless.

Today was a bit different though...the Adventurer who was acting as a guest instructor was...Elina Fenegus, the S-Ranked thirty-something year old loli bitch. Aw, man...I wanted to kill her so bad.

You'd think that she was giving a class on Spell Scrolls, but no...she was talking about her hobby in her free time...playing the piano.

Technically, the lecture was supposed to be about the importance of having a relaxing hobby to let off steam and give your mind a break. But for the past one hour, the little loli bitch had just been going on and on about how much she enjoys playing the piano.

I had gotten the urge to make irritated remarks multiple times, but Persia kept an eye on me and pinched my side every time I was about to say something to stop me. It's not like I didn't understand...in reality, I'd probably get thrown in jail or something if I kill her, as an S-Ranked Adventurer and her skills with General Magic, she was one of this country's greatest assets after all.

Eventually, though...I'd had enough. Fine, even if I can't physically get revenge...I'll try going for a little humiliation. I'll use this annoying situation to my advantage...

"Seriously, who talks about a piano for over an hour? You went on and on about how it's something not everyone can do, essentially bragging about how special you are because you can play it, but you know what...how hard could it really be? What is with your overblown ego, anyway? You even brought a freakin' grand piano into the classroom...are you seriously going to take up the entire two hours talking about nothing but pianos? This is a complete waste of our time," I groaned, ignoring an alarmed Persia pinching and twisting my side.

The entire class went silent, as the loli bitch glared at me, before walking over to my desk. Come on, take the bait...

"What was it that you just said...'how hard could it really be'? Very well, you little brat...why don't you prove that your words are not empty? Go to the front of the classroom and play something on the piano that I so graciously brought in. If you dare sully my ears with a skill-less or mediocre performance, I shall create another original spell to cast on you, one that would make the previous one seem tame in comparison. Unless you are too afraid? In which case, get in your knees and apologize to me, and I just might consider forgiving this little interruption."

Something about being called a brat by a person who looked twelve really ticked me off, and I sure as hell wasn't going to apologize. It was obvious that she was trying to bait and embarrass me in front of the whole class...but she was the one who had taken my bait, not the other way around...

"Sure, why not...like I said, how hard could it really be? I assume you won't be biased when judging my performance?"

Her eyebrow twitched with annoyance at my implication.

"But, of course...if you manage to put up even a half-decent performance, I will have no choice but to concede that your argument that this is a 'waste of time' is valid, even if I do not agree with that notion."

I'll try pushing my luck just a little bit...

"Alright, since you get to cast some fucked up spell on me if I play poorly, isn't it only fair for me to get something if I, say...play incredibly well?"

An amused and cocky expression plastered her face as I said that.

"Hmph, you are in no position to make any demands...but very well. If you genuinely impress me, I shall create any spell for you that you request of me, you can even have a few days to think it over and then make your request. Is that acceptable?"

From her expression, it was clear that she had a lot of confidence in her opinion that I would suck at this.

"Hm...yeah, that works. Alright, then...let's give this thing a try!" I grinned, standing up.

The rest of my group were watching me with bated breath, their expressions alarmed.

Well, after the Rewind incident, I guess I can't blame them.

All eyes were on me as I got out of my seat and headed for the large piano in the front of the room.

A few snickers from Group A's corner.

"Hehe, this should be good," Came an amused murmur from Lamasa.

They were probably all expecting me to bomb this pretty badly.

I walked up to the piano and sat on the stool in front of it, running my fingers across the tiles. It's been a while...

Let me tell you a story real quick...

I once had a mission in my old world when I was around twelve or thirteen, to assassinate a pro piano player who was suspected of being a pedophile.

The client for that job wanted me to first gather solid evidence before taking him out, so I went in undercover as an apprentice trainee to the player.

In preparation for the role, my master, Arturo Lagusa, trained and taught me how to play the piano a full two months before I went undercover, and then while I gathered evidence on him for three weeks, my target also taught me some of his playing skills.

Of course, it wasn't long before I gathered sufficient evidence to prove his guilt, and proceeded to take him out.

While I didn't exactly dislike it, I hadn't particularly enjoyed playing the piano either, my opinion on it was pretty neutral...however, just because I wasn't that into it...didn't mean that I wasn't good at it.

Quite the contrary, in fact...

And the idea of stunning an entire classroom of people who were expecting me to fail, as well as the anticipation of the loli bitch's facial expression when I'm done...really excited me.

Let's see...I'll go with Beethoven's Midnight Sonata, can't go wrong with a classic. Plus, it was the piece I was best at playing.

A wide, confident grin spread on my face as I began, my fingers effortlessly running across the keys with perfect timing and tempo, after a slight rough start as I shook off the rust on my playing skills.

Well, it has been a few years...it'd probably have taken a bit longer to get in the groove if it wasn't for my memories being clearer thanks to the Rewind incident.

As I filled the classroom with the classic, legendary melody, I noticed the stunned looks directed at me from the corner of my eye, in absolute entrancement.

While I was far from the level of a pro, I doubted that the classic piano pieces of my old world existed here, which means that...they had never heard anything like this before.

In case you're wondering whether or not I can play any other instrument...yes, I can kinda play the guitar a bit, but nothing else.

Anyway, a little more than five minutes later, I was done, and turned to face the class. Their eyes were wide with surprise, as no one uttered a single word. I casually strolled back to my desk and plopped down on the chair with an innocent look on my face.

"So...how was that?" I asked Elina, as I made sure not show any signs of confidence or cockiness.

Her expression was priceless...yes, that's exactly what I wanted to see!

"Er, I...," She stuttered with her eyes wide, struggling to accept the fact that I hadn't failed miserably, before clearing her throat and reluctantly, "Ahem, well...I suppose...if I'm being honest...that was...that was one of the best performances on a piano that I've ever heard..."

She bit her fingernail in frustration, staring at the ground with an irritated look as she gritted her teeth and admitted it.

Wow, I didn't expect her to be so honest...guess she took pride in her integrity too. I suppose I can respect that, if nothing else.

Given that she had the appearance of a little girl, her petty frustration was hilarious to look at, as I bit my lower lip to keep myself from laughing triumphantly.

It wasn't quite the same as killing her, but this was still relatively satisfying...I had outsmarted someone who claimed to be a genius. I wouldn't say my desire for revenge is gone...but it is significantly reduced.

Oh, man...I felt so fucking good right now, I was barely able to contain myself.

"Oh, surely you exaggerate?" I laughed in an innocent tone, before adding with a slight smirk, "Well, then...once I come up with a spell I'd like you to make for me, I'll let you know."

She let out a low growl before turning around and heading for the front of the class, continuing the session with an infuriated look on her face.

"Since when can you play the piano? That was amazing," Whispered Persia, as the class continued.

"It's a bit of a long story...I'll explain later."

"The melody you played was so relaxing," Sighed Az contentedly, letting out a lazy yawn.

"I agree, that was beautiful," Nodded Key, complimenting my skills.

I was starting to get better at handling compliments, and they were pretty gratifying now that I was more used to them...

"Hey, I was never much into classical music, but...that was Beethoven, right, dude? You were so good!" Rai exclaimed in a loud whisper.

As soon as the session ended, Elina left immediately, averting her gaze from me as she left in an irritated huff...

Oh, yeah...that felt good!

I was definitely a bit less mad about the whole Rewind incident now.

...

...

As classes were over for the day, we all headed back. Oh, yeah...I should mention, I had gotten myself an apartment.

I'd started to feel paranoid about hiding my valuables under floorboards, not to mention that it was hardly enough space for a human with a pet kitten to live in, so I decided that it was high time I got myself a proper room.

And so, I rented out a one-bedroom apartment for myself.

It was a lot bigger than my room at the inn, square in shape, and a bit closer to the Academy than the inn had been.

The layout was pretty simple. When you walk in through the front door, there's a window on the opposite end, right in the middle of the back wall of the room, with a double bed below it. The wall to the left had a door that led into a relatively spacious bathroom, and there was a closet by the wall to the right.

I had placed two Light Crystals in the corners on either side of the front door, with a Cooling Crystal in the corner to the left of the bed and window.

As for the final remaining corner, I had placed bowls for cat food and water, with the litterbox by the bathroom door. There wasn't a kitchen or anything, but I wasn't particularly interested in cooking, so I didn't need one.

I locked my weapons, cards, weed and any other valuables in a hidden compartment I'd made in the base of the closet.

And there was a makeshift cat bed I'd made using a box and some old clothes, though Pero rarely used it, she often slept at the foot of the bed.

Having a pet was...nice.

It had been a couple of days since I moved into my new place, and it felt kinda weird at first, but I was starting to get used to it.

And today, Persia was coming over...I had finally gotten my hands on the item I needed for the penalty I had picked for her after I won- well, sort of -at tennis.

On that note, purchasing this particular item had been so incredibly embarrassing that I wanted to die while buying it, I couldn't even look the store clerk in the eye...I thank my lucky stars that no one I knew saw me buy it...well, I had gone to the other end of the country to get it, in order to make sure I wouldn't run into anyone I knew.

Anyway, as we split up and went our separate ways from the others, Persia and I headed for my new place.

It was in a five-story tall apartment building, my room was on the second floor. They charged rent by the month, but I had paid off a year's worth right from the get-go.

"Come on...how long are you going to keep me in the dark for, tell me what the penalty is!" She asked impatiently, as we walked up the stairs.

"Hehe...you'll see soon enough. Patience, girlfriend of mine," I grinned, struggling to contain my anticipation.

"...I don't think I've ever seen you this excited...I'm starting to get worried," She replied warily.

We reached my room door and I slid the key in, unlocking it and entering it, before closing and locking the door as we both walked in.

Pero was asleep on the bed, waking up with a yawn and stretch as the sound of the door woke her up.

Persia walked over to her and scratched her chin gently.

"Okay...now will you tell me what it is?"

"Yeah...I want you to...," I began with a smrik, walking over to my closet and unlocking the hidden compartment, before pulling something out, "...wear this."

"..."

"..."

"Is that...i-is that a..."

"Maid outfit? Yes."

Yeah, that's right...it was a maid outfit with a deep neckline, red ribbon bow, and a length that stopped halfway around the thighs, along with thigh-high white stockings.

"Er...do I have to...it looks really embarrassing to wear...," She cautiously took a step back.

"I mean...you did say I could ask for anything...so...," I countered, taking three steps forward.

"Y-yeah, but...does it have to be this?" She asked sheepishly.

"Well...I obviously won't force you if you really don't want to, but...I can't think of anything else that can top this right now."

She mulled it over for a bit, biting her lower lip.

"...f-fine, but just for a bit, o-okay?" She relented hesitantly, her face turning a bit red.

"Okay!"

She reluctantly changed into the outfit, blushing the whole time, which only made it so much better to watch...

As she finished putting it on, she saw her reflection in the mirror on the door of the closet, and her face grew beet-red, stumbling back.

"Th-this is so embarrassing...," She mumbled shyly while tugging down on the short skirt, averting her gaze as I looked her up and down, before quietly and bashfully whispering, "D-don't stare so intently, Kuro..."

My heart began racing...

A cat girl and maid costume combo...I had never imagined I'd ever get to see such a holy sight...she looked indescribably incredible, I couldn't take my eyes off of her for even a second.

Excluding the Academy uniform, I had never seen her wearing any color besides black...and while the maid outfit was mostly black, the apron, collar, the cuffs of her short sleeves, and the stockings were all white, and the red ribbon was tied in a loose bow around the collar.

She looked so incredibly sexy that I could barely think straight...

"Oh, wow...I wish cameras existed in this world," I gulped, as I continued to run my eyes over her curves...

Her legs somehow looked extra slender, the deep neckline really emphasized her ample boobs, she was wearing the necklace I'd gotten her in Goldway which went really well with the outfit, and the red ribbon looked really cute against her black hair...her bashful, blushing expression only made it all the more divine.

"Y-you mean those 'photograph' things you mentioned? N-no way, I'd die of embarrassment if a picture of me in this thing existed," She shuddered.

"Hm...I guess I could try drawing you, but I doubt it'd be the same," I sighed wistfully.

Her ears perked up as I said that.

"Oh? How good are you at drawing, Kuro?" She inquired curiously, seeming to forget her embarrassment.

"Hm? I'm alright at it, I guess...I was trained to sketch and draw stuff on a basic level, for stuff like mapping or whatever...I never actually used it in my assassination work though, those skills were kinda obsolete thanks to GPS map apps and cameras," I explained.

After she listened to my explanation, she thought it over for a second and then spoke up.

"Hey, I wanna see you draw something...um, how about-," She began to think, when an idea hit me.

"Sure, I'll draw...if you model for me in that outfit. I won't draw anything else!" I declared, giving her a teasing wink as I stuck my tongue out.

"H-hey...n-no fair...," She muttered with a blushing pout.

"Take it or leave it, Cat Girl...sorry, but I'm not budging on this."

She was silent for a moment, giving it some thought...

"...mm, f-fine. Y-you can be really m-mean sometimes, you know that, Kuro?" She whispered softly, before slowly peering into my eyes with a vulnerable expression while fidgeting shyly, "H-hurry up...I feel so exposed in this outfit...its so embarrassing..."

Holy...I don't think I've seen her this bashful and fidgety before...it was...it was so...

"Oh, man...I'm so turned on right now," I blurted out before I could stop myself, as my eyes traced the curves her body.

If this was an anime, I'd definitely get a huge nosebleed right now.

"I-I can see that...," She replied red-faced, as her gaze shifted a bit lower on me, "W-well, what are you waiting for...h-hurry up and draw already!"

"R-right...starting now," I replied with a gulp, as she embarrassedly and adorably modeled for my drawing...was I in heaven right now?

...

...

Half an hour later, I was done.

That had been...wow. My face felt so hot that I could swear that steam was coming out of it.

I scanned the drawing, and then looked back and forth between it and her...hm, it wasn't bad...but it was nothing compared to the real deal. My sketching skills were also pretty rusty, I honestly never enjoyed drawing that much.

"Well, that didn't really work...I suppose a hand-drawn portrait is never going to be as good as a photo," I sighed wistfully, as she walked over to look at the drawing curiously.

"Wha- ...woah...this is incredible. What do you mean 'that didn't really work', this is so good! I mean, the outfit is definitely embarrassing, but your drawing is so...realistic," She exclaimed, staring at my sketch in astonishment.

"You're exaggerating, anyone can do this much with a bit of practice. This world has paintings and portraits right...surely you've seen more realistic drawings or paintings than this."

"Well, yeah I guess...but your drawing skills are still incredible, especially considering that it's probably been a while since you took the time to seriously sketch something, right?"

Well...she had a point there.

"I suppose so...but it's a moot point, I don't particularly enjoy drawing and sketching, you know."

"Oh, I see...w-well anyway, now that that's o-over...," She leaned in by my ear and whispered, "You c-can take this th-thing off me and do whatever you want..."

Aww, the embarrassment of wearing the outfit had made her usual irresistible, seductive tone into a cute, stuttering adorable one...

"Sounds good to me...come here," I replied with a soft smile, as she sat on my lap and kissed me.

I was loving my life right now...today was going to go down as a historic, legendary day of my life...I had gotten the honor of getting to witness my adorable cat girl girlfriend wearing a sexy maid outfit, and had gotten the better of that loli bitch, at least to a small extent...

...right now, what more could I ask for?

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Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to vote, and feel free to leave a comment, I appreciate any and all feedback and criticism! Also, check out my Instagram account @aimdaqs for posts relating to this book.