Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

"This sucks," I mumbled to myself, as I walked along the side of the street.

It was the next day, and I was currently on the task Erhtaph had given me yesterday. Here's how that conversation went...

"Some of our guests from Silvland would like to explore the streets of our country while they are here...as you know, the Rustlands can be rather...difficult to navigate, thus we have decided to assign them escorts to show them around."

Yeah, most areas inside the Rustlands looked almost exactly the same, and there were very few major landmarks, I had gotten lost a bunch of times when I first reincarnated in this world.

Wait a sec...I don't think I like where he's going with this...a look of dismay appeared on Misen's face as well.

"Uh, sir...if you're looking to me to escort someone, you're looking at the wrong person, I've already told you that I'm not exactly the most diplomatic person in the world-."

"Indeed, I heard of the incident between you and the second prince of Silvland...however, that is exactly why this task is so important. Misen, I will have you escort the second prince, you may bring along one other Adventurer to help you if you wish. As for you, Kuro...I must ask you to follow them in secret, and intervene if the prince is about to...act out," Explained Erhtaph, "The first princess of Silvland herself suggested this to the king in private, he informed me and I said that I would take care of it. That is why I called you here today."

Misen bit his lip is frustration but didn't protest.

"I agree that this plan is necessary, that guy definitely can't be allowed to roam these streets unchecked. But...I don't see why I have to be a part of this, anyone could-."

"I disagree. If I simply wanted him restrained by force, I would have assigned this to some other Adventurers, however...we cannot afford to do anything that would jeopardize the alliance negotiations. Therefore, if things begin to escalate, I would like you to intervene in a manner that does not cause a commotion."

"Woah, that's asking a lot...that's a tough ask, even for me-."

"Of course, if something drastic happens and you determine that force is necessary, you may act as you see fit. However...you are strictly forbidden from killing or severely injuring him."

He was talking like I had already accepted this job...

"What exactly is this prince like?" Inquired Misen curiously.

"Let's just say he makes you seem pleasant in comparison. He's got a pretty big superiority complex towards the Rustlands, he was genuinely insulted by the fact that we introduced ourselves, and then attacked me."

"...you're joking right?"

"Nope...he straight up attacked me because I said 'yo'...okay, maybe I should have been a bit less casual, but talk about an overreaction," I sighed, recalling that encounter.

"I...I don't think I can do this, father...from what I'm hearing, I rather doubt that I will be able to maintain my patience with this prince," Misen finally spoke his mind.

"Can't we just lock him up somewhere in the castle or something? He's just...the worst," I suggested hopefully.

"No, we cannot imprison a guest...I have considered all possibilities, and this is the best course of action. I implore you to accept, I understand that this is not a very appealing task, however...it could potentially affect the future of our nation. I humbly request that you accept this task," He asked, bowing his head.

"...very well, father," Sighed Misen, looking uncomfortable at the sight of his father lowering his head.

I could still refuse...but after he went that far, it would probably sour my connection to him if I turned it down. And he was way too valuable an ally to waste like that...I mean, I do get a lot of important information through him, not to mention that he's the only one I can get investigation and assassination missions from...

"Fine, but only for tomorrow. There's no way I'm doing this for their entire stay here. If he needs an escort after tomorrow, figure out another solution."

"Understood. Now, then...let us discuss the plan. Misen, go to the palace at 8 AM, you shall meet the prince there and then escort him around. Kuro, you must follow them without being spotted, and be ready to intervene and prevent any incidents from occurring."

"I understand, father."

"Yeah, I got it...seriously though, what is with that guy, he's possibly the most arrogant person I've ever met," I sighed.

"Oh, do you not know?" Responded Erhtaph in surprise, before explaining.

Most of this world does not follow the concept of religion, with the exceptions of Platinberg and Silvland. They both followed their own religions, and Silvland straight up executed any of their citizens that were atheistic.

The Rustlands and Bronztan, as well as Goldway when it still existed, were almost purely atheistic nations. People in these countries might still believe in the existence of a God, but they did nothing in the way of worship or prayer.

When we had been in Goldway, the reception had been alright...there were some that looked at us condescendingly, but the majority were quite welcoming. Of course, King Aurich had been changing the country and its people's mindsets, but still...

Anyway, the main reason his people even had been able to change their perception of the Rustlands was because their sense of superiority towards us was materialistic...they simply believed that they were stronger and richer than us, simple as that.

But Silvland was different. Many of their citizens were devout and religious followers, and believe that they're better than everyone else because they worship their God. Come to think of it, the entire Silvland group had been wearing cross-like necklaces.

While the current king of Silvland had been making an effort to separate laws from religion, and there were a number of citizens who understood the need for cooperation with other nations, like the princess, the rest were not so easily changed. The people of Goldway were more materialistic, so their minds could be changed with proper logic...but logic doesn't apply to people like this...

"Ugh...I can't stand religious fanatics, they stubbornly stick to their beliefs even when it defies logic...no, they do so BECAUSE it defies logic, it makes them feel special, like they're 'God's chosen ones' or whatever," I growled irritably.

"I, er...take it you have had a forgettable experience with religion?"

"Yeah...I guess you could say that."

This one time, I had to infiltrate an extremist religious terrorist group for a mission...and man, are religious fanatics a pain to deal with! God this, God that...not so much as a hint of logic or reason, just blind faith and propaganda.

That was easily one of the most annoying and frustrating missions I ever accepted...I was super relieved after I took out that entire terrorist camp with a big ol' batch of cyanide poisoning. I didn't even care about killing anyone, I just wanted to get it over with.

Then this other time, I had to infiltrate and take out an entire religious cult, and that had been a disturbing couple of days. They kidnapped women as 'sacred offerings' to their God, but in reality, they were just raping them, before killing them once they got bored of them. During one of their 'rituals', I sealed up all the exits in their building, and then took most of them out with a sniper rifle. Once I brought the number of them down to about ten or so, I broke in through a window and killed them with my blades.

I had a few other missions that also involved targets that were religious fanatics or cultists...easily my least favorite jobs during my pro-assassin days.

Just to clarify, I am sort of an atheist...I do believe that a God exists, my reincarnation was kinda proof of that...but I'll never pray or worship anything.

I mean, God never helped me while I was being human trafficked across the globe as an infant and toddler, or when I was tortured for three years...

Okay, I sort of went off on a tangent there...back to the present.

Anyway, after we got the details of tomorrow's mission, Misen and I planned the route for which he would escort the prince...I doubted that I would have any problems tailing them, but just in case I lose sight of them, it'd be useful to know where they're headed.

We picked areas that would be alright for sight-seeing and wouldn't be too crowded. Well, not that there are any spots that are especially made for sight-seeing here...the Rustlands isn't exactly a tourist destination, I mean, like I said...most of the country looks exactly the same. This place could really use a couple of spots that you could have fun in. Huh, maybe I could suggest building an amusement park or zoo or something like that.

After we agreed on the route he'd be taking the prince on, Misen said he would get another Adventurer to tag along with him.

With a workable plan agreed upon, I headed back home and spent the day lazily with Persia before going to sleep. Guess trying out my new abilities will have to wait.

The next day, I wore some casual clothes, a loose black t-shirt with long sleeves and black trousers with a bunch of pockets. I bought myself a blonde wig on the way to the palace to disguise myself, and after spotting Misen and Prince Aguil, followed behind them, keeping a distance of twenty to thirty meters. I had brought along a few items that might come in handy in preventing a commotion in case something happened.

The prince was clad in his pretentious silver armor and had his sword on him...yeah, definitely the right call to have someone watch him. I just wish it didn't have to be me. Misen had a wide, fake smile plastered on his face, his eyebrow twitched with irritation every now and then.

As for the Adventurer he had picked to help him out...what the hell was he thinking? The person he had picked was...Siert Huet, the guy in the now former-Big Five with white hair and eyes, Water Magic and a polar bear Anima with white fur on the back of his hands, and despite being quite strong, is mainly known for his utter lack in confidence. This was not going to be good for the poor guy's already non-existent self-confidence.

The prince looked pretty dissatisfied and irritated...he had clearly decided to dislike this place without even giving it a chance.

Man, why'd I have to get stuck with a crappy assignment like this anyway?

I almost regret having been so efficient and reliable during my previous missions over the past few months. Okay, not really...I really liked that I was the first, and pretty much only, choice for covert investigations and assassinations. I may be more of an Adventurer now, but at my core I'm most definitely still an assassin. And besides, I prided myself on the effectiveness and efficiency of my work...if I do something, I won't be half-assed about it.

Well, it could be worse...my role in this was a lot better than Misen's.

I was just about close enough to hear what they were saying, and I was pretty grateful that it wasn't me in that position.

"Er, is there any place in particular that you would like to visit, Prince Aguil?" Misen asked with that forced smile, his eyebrow twitching in annoyance as the prince continued to express his dissatisfaction.

And he wasn't keeping his voice down, earning plenty of dirty looks from the passer-bys.

"This nation is just as the rumors says, a lawless cesspool," He expressed in disgust, "I feel rather unclean with all these peasants gazing at me so intently. I suppose they must rarely lay their eyes on royalty, hm?"

No, they're just glaring at you because you're being a huge prick.

"Well, I doubt they know that you're royalty...maybe you should keep your voice down. Oh, and we have no concept of nobles or peasants...all our citizens are treated equally," Misen responded, his fake smile beginning to slip.

Great, it's barely been five minutes and he's already at his limit.

"Do not assume you can command me to lower my voice, I shall speak as I see fit, you knave! And what a truly horrendous concept...what good is a country that cannot seperate its filth from its jewels?"

Silvland had a three-tier class system, nobles, middle-class, and peasants. The peasants had no human rights, and lived in the slums, just like in Goldway. The middle-class citizens had a basic level of human rights, but stuff like owning land or businesses was exclusive to the nobles, who lived lavish lives of luxury.

For jobs and housing, the only options for middle-class citizens were to work for nobles and rent out living accommodations from nobles who were landlords. But they couldn't actually own anything. In Goldway, the nobles had their own separate district, but the middle-class citizens lived pretty well, they were allowed to own and run their own businesses and live there too, pretty much all the shops and restaurants in the shopping and food districts had been owned and run by the middle-class.

However, Silvland was different. Your bloodline determines whether or not you're a noble, which meant a middle-class citizen could never become a noble. The only thing they were free to do without restriction was becoming Adventurers.

Oh, and I didn't know the full details, but their religion also stated that their nobles were God's chosen ones, with the middle-class being those that God has taken pity on. As for the peasants and outsiders...they weren't eligible to worship Silvland's God. Their religion seriously sounded like something someone just randomly made up to keep the citizens under their control and easy to manage...it disgusted me, I seriously despise religious fanatics.

Anyway, back to following them.

"H-hey, you c-can't say that, you can't just insult our people like that!" Siert stuttered angrily.

Woah, I had never seen him like this before.

"How dare you speak to me in such a manner!? Who do you think you are, scum!?"

"O-oh, you're r-right...I'm scum, no, I'm less than scum," He shrunk back timidly, before adding, "B-but you should t-take back what you said about our country and people!"

Damn, how low was his self-esteem!? Contrary to my belief, he actually has a backbone, using it to defend the country, but he'd never used it to defend himself. In fact, if someone insulted him, he would not only agree with them, but go on to insult himself even further.

"You annoy me, do not speak again. This is rather unpleasant," Aguil snapped irritably.

"It really is," Sighed Misen, rubbing his head while trying to contain his anger.

Okay, seriously...it's barely been ten minutes!

...

A little while later, a kid running with a chocolate in his hand crashed into the prince's legs, leaving a stain on his armor.

Uh-oh, this is bad.

"Filthy little urchin-!" He growled, reaching for his sword.

Seriously...!?

I began to draw out a paralysis needle, before Misen activated his Lightning Boost and rapidly put his hand over the handle of Aguil's sword and pushed it back into its sheath, as Siert simultaneously manifested a sharp water tail and quickly moved the edge towards the arrogant prince's neck.

"What are you-!?"

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to calm down...your highness," Misen said in a cold voice.

Siert calmed the little boy, who had looked pretty scared.

The prince huffed in annoyance and walked forward as they let him go after the kid left, I couldn't see his face but I could imagine what kind of expression he had.

I sighed as I continued following after them.

They stopped by a restaurant after a while, entering it after the prince complained that he was hungry. It was a pretty good spot, a little pricey, but the food was delicious, one of my favorite restaurants in the area.

I went in after them, getting myself a spot at a table in the corner of the room to watch from.

"Order whatever you want," Remarked Misen, tossing a menu at him.

He's not even trying to put on that fake polite act anymore, he was openly showing his irritation and annoyance. A waitress came to take their order, and surprisingly enough, it went without any problems.

Then the food arrived.

I ordered myself a cold fizzy drink, and right as I took a sip, a loud crash echoed through the restaurant. I quickly turned my attention towards the source of the noise, to see that the prince had slammed the dish his order had been brought in onto the floor.

"You dare serve me such swill!? How-!?" He yelled, earning shocked and angry looks from the staff and the other diners.

I quickly flung a paralysis needle at the back of his neck, interrupting his rant as his body slumped onto the table.

Misen quickly whispered something to Siert, before subtly withdrawing the needle and hiding it in his belt, dragging the paralyzed body out of the restaurant.

I had watered down my laced needles for today, so it should wear off after a minute or so.

Siert profusely apologized to the staff and paid for the order, giving them a hefty tip in apology. Thankfully, that was enough to appease them, and the normal mood resumed in the restaurant as a staff member cleaned up the mess.

I quickly finished my drink, put down a few silver coins and got up. They were still outside the restaurant, waiting for the paralysis to wear off. I exited the restaurant and walked past them casually, before blending into the crowd and keeping an eye on them.

"Wha-! What in God's name was that!?" He exclaimed as the effects wore off and he could move again.

"Who knows, perhaps it was God's divine wrath or something. Let's go," Snapped Misen, dragging him away as curious onlookers began to gather.

"You dare?! Do not deign to refer to our God, filthy blasphemer!"

Did I mention that I hate religious fanatics?

Misen looked absolutely fed up at this point. While it was fun to see him like this, I couldn't enjoy it that much since I was starting to get pretty frustrated at this situation too...we had managed to prevent any major incidents, but the prince had definitely been attracting a lot of negative attention.

As I followed them around the next corner, I saw a potential disaster approaching in the form of a very familiar girl, she was engrossed in a book.

Uh-oh, not good-!

Her shoulder bumped against the prince's as she walked past him, upon which he immediately turned around and grabbed her shoulder before either Misen or Siert could stop him.

"You would dare knock-!?" He began angrily.

Yeah, I don't think I need to step in for this one...

"Hey, that's a great way to lose a hand, prick," The girl smirked, her familiar head of brown and white hair and feathers flowing in the wind as she grabbed the hand on her shoulder with her left talon of a hand.

That's right...it was Gela.

Misen didn't look like he was planning on intervening either.

The sound of metal breaking echoed out as the claws of her talon pierced and carved into the armor around his forearm, before blood began dripping out of the mangled armguard as her claws sunk into his flesh.

The strength of her grip was no joke.

"Agh-! You bitch!" He snarled, awkwardly drawing out his sword with his left hand.

She let go of his arm and sprang back, licking the blood off her claws with a sadistic, and slightly turned on, expression, while wind began gathering around her.

He was so screwed...it looked like he couldn't move the fingers on his right hand, she must have severed a tendon...and he looked a bit clumsy with the sword in his left hand. His blade was a two-handed sword, and he was using it with just one hand, and it was his non-dominant hand at that...Gela wouldn't even break a sweat.

As much as I would love to see how this plays out, we couldn't let it happen...Misen came to the same conclusion, as he stepped in before things got ugly.

"That's enough. Your highness, if you draw your sword one more time, I'm afraid I can't let you carry it."

"You would dare confiscate the holy weapon of one of God's chosen-!?"

"Instructor Ragiu? Mind explaining why you're raining on my parade?" Gela inquired, an irate look on her face.

Given how excited she had looked, she must be feeling pretty blueballed right now.

"You're name was...Gela Sorr, right? I understand how you feel, but this is a prince of Silvland, so as much as I want to, I can't let you tear him apart," He responded.

"You...you would dare disrespect me!?"

Man...he sure says 'you would dare...!?' a lot, doesn't he? And clearly, Misen wasn't even trying to hide his animosity anymore. Even with all his issues with responsibility, he had long reached the end of his rope with this asshole of a prince.

"A prince, eh? The thought of spilling royal blood is a tantalizing one," Gela chuckled excitedly, clicking her claws together as she licked her lips.

The prince flinched slightly as she stared at him with a bloodthirsty grin. Holy hell, that is some seriously dense bloodlust emanating from her right now...she was practically drooling with it.

Looks like I gotta intervene. I flicked a paralysis needle at her, causing her to slump onto her knees in surprise.

Misen quickly caught on to what just happened, and dragged the prince away, Siert following after them.

"Even you should know when to restrain yourself, Birdbrain," I sighed as I walked past her.

She couldn't move or speak right now, but she could hear me. I didn't have time to deal with her right now, so I hurried after the others before the paralysis wore off.

They had strayed from the agreed upon route in order to buy a healing Spell Scroll, since the prince's right arm was bleeding quite profusely.

Well, this mission seriously sucked, but at least that bastard had taken a serious hit to his pride. Since he heard Gela call Misen 'Instructor', he'd probably realized that she was a Student Adventurer...that makes two Student Adventurers who absolutely owned him.

He was sullen and quiet for the next hour or so, wallowing in self-pity. Had this guy seriously achieved an S-Rank as an Adventurer? It seemed...unlikely, to say the least.

Ambidexterity was a pretty important attribute for an Adventurer, but it was clear that his dexterity with his left hand was well below average. I noticed that he had decent speed and reflexes when he attacked me, but he wasn't using them as well as he could. His swordsmanship was alright, but it didn't look particularly refined or remarkable.

I hadn't seen much of his Fire Magic yet, but when he ran his flaming blade through me, I could confidently say that Key's flames are way more intense. To be fair, she does have an advantage with her Fire Steel sword, but still...you'd think an S-Rank would be stronger than this. He had some really useful Anima mutations too, with the slender lizard tail and legs, but he hardly used that tail. He could have easily used it to trip Gela when she grabbed onto his arm or something, but no.

Anyway, they soon made their way to the final stop before they'd head back to the palace. The Adventurer Academy.

I can't follow them in there with a disguise, so...I took off the wig and used Store to hide it, before making my way inside. It was a weekend, so the building was mostly empty, meaning that footsteps and voices echoed a fair bit.

I activated both the invisibility barrier and the soundproof barrier around myself as I followed after them.

Just a little more and this'll be over, once they finish touring the Academy building, they'll head to the teleportation booths to go back to the palace.

They ran in to Instructor Tabbs at one point, and since the prince was so sulky, it went by without any problems.

As they passed by the training rooms, one of the doors opened...and Persia walked out with Mika. Crap, I totally forgot that I'd asked Persia to spar with her today!

Key then came out of the training hall too. I guess Persia called her to help out.

Calm down, he's been all mopey for the past hour, he probably won't do anyth-.

Mika suddenly stopped to bend down and tie her shoelace. Key, who had been walking behind her, wasn't able to stop, and to avoid stepping on Mika, tried to move her foot, but ended up stumbling across and crashing into the prince, knocking him down.

Fuck.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that, are you-?" She apologized, beginning to help him up.

He angrily slapped her hand away, his eyes wide with rage. He was probably used to nothing but pleasure and respect 24/7 back home, so given everything he'd gone through today...it looked like he had reached his breaking point. He certainly didn't deserve any sympathy though, he had brought all of it on himself.

Flames burst out from his hands erratically, Key quickly stepped back, gritting her teeth as her left forearm got slightly burnt.

Before the fire could spread, Siert used his water tails to extinguish the flames, and while he was distracted by that, the prince slammed the handle of his sword into Siert's stomach, knocking him down.

He then raised his blade in fury.

"I'll...I'll burn all the filth and trash around me!" He quivered in rage.

Misen blasted a bolt of lightning at him, hitting him squarely on the shoulder. He then sprang back as Aguil furiously hit back with streaks of flames from his hands. He then used Stream to wrap his sword in flames and swung it across, firing a blazing slash at Misen, who dodged it easily with his Lightning Boost.

But the prince was sprouting flames all around himself, so he couldn't get close to him. He couldn't afford to use anything too powerful that would risk killing him.

He then turned his attention towards the girls, Key had drawn out her sword and Persia had formed a Raseng- I mean, Spiral Sphere, that rotating sphere of wind attack, in each hand, they were both standing in front of Mika, ready to attack. If they fought him seriously, there was a chance that Persia would kill him, and as much as I'd like to see that...

"Filthy blasphemers like you do not have to right to gaze upon m-!"

"Fuck it, enough is enough."

I flung and stopped him with a paralysis needle, before walking over to his paralyzed body as I drew out all the tranquilizer needles I had on me, about fifteen of them, deactivating the barriers around me.

I bunched them all together, and then slammed all of them into his shoulder, using twenty percent Karma- or, I guess it's technically eighty percent Karma now -in order to give myself the strength needed to pierce through his armor.

"Y-you...again...," He growled as I stabbed them into him.

He instantly passed out and slumped onto the group as the needles plunged into his skin. Unlike with the paralysis fluid, I didn't water down the tranquilizer at all, and since I had given him fifteen times more dosage than I usually do, he should be out for...quite a while.

I had a few burns on me, while I quickly healed. There was a slightly strange smell though.

"Kuro, where'd you come from?" Persia exclaimed in surprise, before her eyes darted up to my head, "Um...your hair's on fire."

"Huh? Wha- no! Shit! Fuck!" I cursed as I quickly put it out, "Aw, man...damn it, it's not like I can heal my hair...whatever, I was probably due for a haircut anyway."

"Hey, watch the swearing!" Hissed Persia, covering Mika's ears.

"Oh, uh...my bad."

"I hate to interrupt, but now what? Since you knocked him out, it's your call," Misen chimed in, as he kicked the prince's unconscious body in frustration, "Seriously...FUCK THIS GUY!"

So much for watching your swearing. His voice echoed through the corridor and hallways of the Academy building, as he finally let go of the dam of frustration that had been overflowing inside him for the past couple of hours. Wait a sec, that can't be right...had it really only been just barely two hours? It felt like this had been going on all freaking day.

"Take him back to the palace, I guess. Don't worry, he'll stay knocked out for at least half a day with the amount of tranquilizer in his system right now. Since he's no longer conscious, my part in this mission is done," I replied, before turning to the girls, "Let's get out of here."

...

"That guy was really a prince? He's got some anger issues," Remarked Key, after I briefly filled them in as we left the building.

"Heh, that's putting it lightly. He might be the worst person I've met in this world, he definitely makes the cut in my all-time top five least favorite people."

"That was so cool, the way you appeared out of nowhere, Bro!" Exclaimed Mika, with an cheerful grin.

"Aw, thanks, my little apprentice," I grinned, patting her head.

"So, are you sure you won't get in trouble for what you did?" Asked Persia, looking a bit concerned.

"Who knows? Right now, there's only one thing I'm sure of..."

...I need a haircut, ASAP!

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Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to vote, and feel free to leave a comment, I appreciate any and all feedback and criticism! Also, check out my Instagram account @aimdaqs for posts relating to this book.