Endless Debt

Hello everyone, Andlao here, your loyal friend who updates twice a day.

First of all, I confess...

Well, it’s time for the end-of-volume summary session once again. I always like this session, because when I write something, I just write whatever comes to my mind. There is no such thing as a blank at all. It’s like eating a lot of food. Don Wallace drank a lot of Coke and Mentos, and went to the toilet to get drunk.

Then a friend suggested that when I write these end-of-volume summaries, I should return to my original intention and write them one by one. I think it’s pretty good.

1. When I talked with readers before, they said that compared to the main text, they found my remarks in each volume quite interesting.

2. So, the extra chapter, which is hundreds of thousands of words long, is over, and now the main text begins.

3. I think about where to start with this. In fact, in the earliest setting, the second volume should tell the story of Palmer. The perspective of the story will briefly leave Opos and come to Palmer’s hometown. Then they fight and kill amidst laughter and laughter.

4. But people often question my relationship line. At this time, I realized that it was time to prove myself.

5. As an author, I feel that weaving a story based on existing materials and extending it beyond one's own vision is the basic quality of an author. Although I...but, I feel that I wrote this There's nothing wrong with the stuff.

6. I am a person who likes to challenge myself, or I can say that I am angry with myself. For this reason, I like to try things that I have never tried before, such as writing about different themes.

7. Various factors led me to modify the original design of the second volume and advance the appearance of Amu to prove my personal ability.

8. I think it’s okay. The humanoid Gundam can still be driven. If the style wasn’t inconsistent, I really want to name her Aimu·MSA-0011(Bst)303E.

9. MSA-0011(Bst)303E, the pain in my heart forever.

10. Or Aimu·bt7274.

11. Woohoo, bt!

12. Okay, just kidding, in fact, in my personal opinion, I originally wrote this story with the idea of ​​writing science fiction, treating the alchemy dolls as bionic people, with mental projections. It is an AI integrated based on the thinking of human beings during their lifetime, so essentially the plot of this volume can be understood as a science fiction story about the awakening rebellion of AI.

13. This idea originally came from an idea I thought about, that is, does the body determine consciousness, or consciousness determines the body.

14. The story that this idea supports is the setting in a science fiction short story "The Eve of Upgrading" that I wrote in two volumes before. However, due to energy problems and other reasons, I just wrote the beginning of that short story. I will probably continue writing after I finish it.

15. This is a bit far-fetched. The story in the second volume is a change from this idea, which is the sentence that appears in the article, giving wisdom to the ape and telling it its fate of death.

16. In terms of consciousness, the apes that have gained intelligence are no different from humans, but they are trapped in the ape’s body. This is also a theme I want to write about in this volume. Aimu has human consciousness, but is trapped in the ape’s body. In the steel body, she knew all the theories, but she didn't have a flesh and blood body to feel it all, which caused inner entanglements and decision-making problems.

17. This is the AI ​​rebellion!

18. But halfway through writing, I felt that it was about family conflicts again, such as the devilish father and the rebellious daughter.

19. Everyone is in a state of stubbornness. One is stubborn to resurrect his daughter, and the other is stubborn to get his father's approval, and then the conflict arises from the confusion in the mind.

20. Then I thought about it carefully and felt that it was not bad. Anyway, this is an urban supernatural novel in the fantasy style of the light novel category. There is no need to struggle with the AI ​​rebellion.

21. So it became a kind of family ethics drama and a story of self-examination.

22. In this part, I was greatly influenced by the movie "Good Will Hunting". Amu's psychological problems and predicaments were largely derived from this movie.

23. After setting such a story framework, a major theme of this volume is Amu’s self-reversal and change.

24. When I was writing this part, I was very worried that there was not enough foreshadowing, which would lead to a blunt emotion. So I tried my best to foreshadow it, but when I was actually writing it, I saw that some readers still felt it was a bit stiff. I’m really sorry.

25. Personally, I often read articles and comments, and I read everyone’s comments carefully. Moreover, I also believe in the principle that when there is one cockroach in the house, there must be many secretly there.

26. Based on this calculation, when a reader has some reasonable opinions, there may be many readers who have the same idea but have not published it, so I still care about your comments. When a character's arc changes, it's inevitable that I'll encounter a situation like this. I don't like characters that remain unchanged, so I can only go away.

27. Then the road to writing a book went against the will of heaven.

28. When I was writing this volume, I fell into a state of extreme anxiety and felt that what I wrote was shit. However, I asked several readers and the feedback was pretty good, which made me feel weirdly disconnected.

29. Hey, my mentality is still not Buddhist enough.

30. Of course, there is actually an episode in the second volume of the story. I had this idea at first, but I still couldn’t figure out how to write it. Then one night I got inspired and wrote a similar story based on the hamster I raised. The story is that one day the hamster has human consciousness but is trapped in the hamster's body. What will it think?

31. The ending of the hamster is negative, but as a pure love god of war, Amu’s story will be positive.

32. In other words, Aimu is actually based on a Syrian hamster.

33. I name every pet I raise jojo. This hamster is also named jojo. It is the second hamster I have raised. Strictly speaking, its full name is Joseph. Joestar.

(Insert a joke. When I was chatting with my roommate, I said that if I have a child, I will name her Qiaoqiao. When she asked me why I called her Qiaoqiao, I told her that the group of people I raised were called Qiaoqiao. Jojo’s cats, dogs, and mice.

My roommate, "Do you want to listen to what you are saying?")

34. In fact, my personal writing experience is not long, and I have not written many stories. Except for Black History, there is only one book, "The Guns of Embers". I was relatively new to writing Embers, and that book was completely a novel. An accident, a bad money attempt failed.

35. Hey, life is like this, full of wonderful surprises.

36. When I wrote Embers, the characters I wrote were saviors in terms of events, but they were also the saved in spirit, and this spiritual salvation lasted throughout the book.

37. One thing to say is that I often look back on that experience and my mental state at the time. I wonder if there is something wrong with me that made me write like this. I think it is enough to write a book about such a passive autistic child. , so when writing this book, I decided to let Adele in the first volume save the protagonist’s spirit, and in the second volume, the protagonist will save others.

38. I have said before that I like to listen to music when I am typing. I turn my room into a bright nightclub and play harsh music. When I was thinking about this paragraph, I was listening to the song "Creep", which has a sentence The lyrics are like this.

39. "I want a perfect shell and a complete soul. I hope I can be like you, but I am so weird and out of place. I don't belong here."

40. At that time, I felt that it was right, so let’s do it.

41. So so far, the protagonist group is all freaks, and the freaks save each other.

42. Although the protagonists fight and kill, they still treat their own people well. After all, only such a group of people can understand each other to some extent.

43.Hmm...? Then there are some personal thoughts. I think I am a story writer. Although I only write online articles, sometimes I also want to write some, not so profound... humanistic care?

44. Recognizing the existence of spirit and value is also a factor that determines the outcome of Amu’s character.

45. When I first had this idea, I was reading the manga "Ajin-chan". It is obviously a funny manga, but sometimes it suddenly turns serious, and I have serious discussions with you, but when the discussion comes to a conclusion, I feel calm again. Smile and forget about these serious matters.

46. ​​I think this feeling is great, so I also want to write something in my book. The story may be messy, but in the end everyone will still meet at the bar.

47. In fact, when I was writing the second volume, I still had some difficulty in controlling the rhythm and story structure, because when I personally wrote the outline, I would only write a rough outline, which caused me to deal with some multi-line narratives and conspiracies. When it comes to trickery, I’m never satisfied with what I write.

48. For example, I make an outline, then forget the outline and write according to my own ideas. I'm going to sort out the outline of the third volume, plan out the story as much as possible, and have everything in hand.

49. I think I am still relatively free. I want to take time to seriously write a short story and do all kinds of fancy things.

50. Then... I just write whatever comes to my mind. After all, it is a testimonial, and there is no such thing as a letter.

51. Another thing that I like about writing testimonials and summaries is that I think it is a good opportunity, a link for in-depth communication between the author and the readers.

52. However, it may be my personal personality and my mental state that lead me to like to share these things with others, whether they are good or weird things. For this reason, I want to share more with you in this final volume. State my thoughts.

52.5. Sometimes I feel like a guy from Qiaodong wandering in no-man’s land. After months of tossing, I finally meet a living person. I chatter to him in detail about this experience, and then I finish. He turned around and plunged into no man's land again.

53. There are not many opportunities like this. I haven’t figured out how many volumes this book will be divided into yet, but it must be one volume less than one volume, and there is no charge for this thing, right, right, right.

54. It is currently estimated that this book will be updated in 20 months, but estimates are estimates. I don’t know how long it will take to write, but I will try to control the number of words between 3 million and 4 million.

55. I really like web writing as a story carrier. It can write a lot, and it can also be written in a messy way. Compared with story carriers such as comics and movies, in my limited life, the creation of web writing is undoubtedly more efficient. .

56. In fact, for this book, I personally don’t care too much about the results for some reasons. Yes, I don’t care if I want to. I also want to write it for the general public, which will be more enjoyable, and I also want to make money.

57. However, it’s all like this, so it’s better to be more open-minded.

58. It feels like a jar has been smashed, and I still dropped two books in a row.

59. So I think I can input some of my own ideas into the story more calmly, and show it in some ways. Don’t worry about the fighting and killing, just promote the plot, and do something that I find interesting in each volume. .

60. In reality, I am somewhat autistic, but paradoxically, I feel that I am not that autistic, just... very subtle. I like to write stories like "rescue". This is what I think as a creative The most wonderful place.

61. You can write about people you cannot be, touch worlds that do not exist, and even change things that cannot be changed.

62. Difficulties in reality are difficult to break through personal abilities. It is better to project this dilemma into a story, and you will become the plug-in for the people in the story to help them break all this and get out of the predicament in another illusory sense. .

63. The satisfaction that cannot be obtained in reality can be fulfilled in the world of fantasy.

64. The setting of fantasy species comes from this. It allows people to gain the power to turn fantasy into reality. If you save yourself in fantasy, you will also be saved in reality.

65. This can actually be regarded as a story within a story, and such a story within a story should be the plot of the next volume.

66. Although it has not been written yet and only exists in my imagination, I am still very satisfied with the plot. The plot of this volume may be linked with the previous book.

67. I like writing stories, which makes me feel like I have realized the value of my life.

68. Oh, by the way, the emotional lines in this book are not so twisty and direct because readers often suggest that the previous book was so torturous, so it would be better to be happy in this one.

69. In fact, this point is that I never thought about the emotional line of the last book. I even said that I never thought I could finish the last book.

70.So do you understand? It’s not that I can’t write it, it’s that I didn’t even think about writing it! There were many elements that I was not prepared for at all.

71. I’m really sorry.

72. But the predecessors built the roads, and the descendants enjoy the benefits, right? In my short writing career, the protagonist of this book is really well-paid.

73. Then another point I want to make is that I find it cool and interesting in some strange places.

74. I often tell everyone that the environment where I type is like a nightclub, and the table is assembled, which is quite wobbly. I get up and shake my legs, and the code on the table display is also shaking. It feels really high.

75. I have always wanted to have a live broadcast room, just like a hamster playing DJs, with red, yellow, and green lights flashing endlessly.

76. Then there are the cliché ones, such as what I have learned recently.

77. I am like a druid, I know how to do everything, but I don’t seem to know anything. That’s probably it. It reminds me that when I played the classic server, I played a tauren druid that crawled out of Thunder Bluff, died all the way at the crossroads, and abandoned the game in anger.

78. My coding has gradually stabilized during this period, but I personally can’t take any time off. After treating coding as a daily routine, coding can no longer satisfy my daily output of personal value. For this reason, I am learning to paint. Painting and other things, but the progress is slow. This thing is really tiring. I feel depressed while learning, which is very annoying.

79. Fortunately, it wasn’t a big problem. Then I learned the harmonica and played it for my friends from time to time. The friends in the group praised me and said that I must be very good at killing songs.

80. I got an RPGmaker and tried to make some text games. Of course, I am currently in a state of drawing and playing, and even the script has not been finished yet.

81. Speaking of the design of another female character, in fact, a situation that occurs in many books is that the protagonist's combat power increases too quickly, resulting in the female character being unable to participate in advanced dungeons, or after participating in an advanced dungeon, she will directly return to the original dungeon. The environment has retreated.

82. If the power of the female character is forcibly enhanced and there is an additional narrative character in the copy, it will be more troublesome to write. This is my first time writing, and I don’t know how to deal with these problems appropriately. After thinking hard for a while, I am thinking How to reduce the burden on the female character, or in other words, rationalize her appearance.

83. After pondering for a period of time, I opened LoL in a relaxed mood, and then lost a page. When my whole mentality was about to be shattered, I filled in the support position, and played with the idea of ​​​​displaying it. Magic cat.

83.5. Say goodbye to AD after level 6, hang on Hong Kai and kill randomly, which is a lot of fun.

84. Wait a minute, I think I know how to write it.

85. The female character can follow you in the dungeon without leaving the environment. She can also chat with you from time to time.

86. With me and you, we can work hard together!

87. We are a killer partner!

88. For this reason, Aimu’s ability settings have been finalized. Rounding off the protagonist can be regarded as a cat climbing frame.

89. In fact, in the design of this volume, a lot of plots have been cut off. For example, there is a copy about the Happy Garden, which is inserted when Bologo escapes from the big rift.

90. I finally escaped and fell into the devil's cave again, but it felt a little too cumbersome and unnecessary, so I cut it off and integrated it into the plot of the next volume.

91. Then I am also working hard to improve the coding speed, efficiency is everything!

92. Another thing is... Probably every author should have this idea. After writing the beginning of the book, he starts researching what to write.

93. The same is true for me. In addition to the science fiction short stories I mentioned to you before, I also thought about... fantasy fairy tales.

94. Of course, I will talk about all this only when I have the opportunity to meet with you. Now it is better to get the things in front of you done.

95.But! The pie still needs to be painted!

96. Then there are some issues of self-doubt. Compared with the previous book, this book is undoubtedly better in terms of results, but I will always fall into inexplicable self-doubt, thinking about whether I am suitable for codewriting, and it is often accompanied by With anxiety.

97. In terms of immortality novels, I belong to the type with an unstable Taoist heart, and I am always in the stage of contending with inner demons. If I survive a catastrophe, my body and Taoism will definitely disappear in minutes.

98. Hey, the code book goes against the grain, right?

99. But I often feel that everything is fine and OK.

100. Then let’s talk about something I forgot to mention to you before.

101. For example, the idea of ​​playing chess with demons came from the movie "The Seventh Seal" to a certain extent.

102. As a movie lover, I have admired this movie for a long time, but for various reasons, I always skipped watching it. It was only recently that I watched it completely. There are some scenes that left a deep impression on me.

103. First, the man plays chess with Death, and second, at the end of the film, Death pulls people and walks in the wilderness.

104. The idea of ​​playing chess with the devil originated from the scene in the first act, where humans and the god of death play chess and talk about their lives.

105. Then the content of the next volume will expand the worldview. Of course, as an author who likes to try new things, he will definitely not write it that simply. For example, the story within the story I mentioned, this kind of plot.

106. For example, the plot of Happy Garden that was cut off in this volume will be added to the next volume, and then everyone will play dark board games together...

107. I think about it every day and dream about it at night. When it comes to the author, my personal experience and spirit will be projected into the stories I write. Therefore, when I write stories, there will always be some things that I don’t know how to explain. tendency.

108. If I have to specify a specific theme, I think the theme that my personal tendency extends is probably reconciliation and salvation. I think this theme will continue throughout.

109. I think I will write more about this tendency in the next volume. I like to communicate with people and explore other people’s inner worlds. I will probably write a similar story in the next volume.

110. For example, a person’s journey of confession. As mentioned in the previous articles, the people in the story write the story in the story and save themselves.

111. And my recent mental state, how should I put it, feels a bit bad. Readers who are more familiar with me should know that my mental state has always been between dying and relatively poor.

112. The bad news is that my mental state is relatively poor. The good news is that my mental state is very stable and happy.

113. Either he falls on the bed like a corpse and sleeps for 24 hours straight, or he is like a sudden death contestant who does not close his eyes for days and nights, and his mind will continue to have random thoughts. Although I think as an author, the brain It is normal to have random thoughts, but I always feel that my random thoughts are in a more serious situation.

114. In order to divert my attention, I got a mountain bike, and every day after nightfall, I would go out and ride the bike.

115. Wow, brother, the speed of 27 is really fast. I feel like I am as fast as a dog, and every pore is exuding joyful saliva. Shenbei's fastest speed is the legendary Suo Zhilang.

116. It is true that a person's state of mind will constantly change. For example, in my impression, this speech was written as the second volume progressed. I would write one or two words every day, so the logic of the context and the following are all illogical. It’s normal. It’s really a wonderful experience to think of my state of mind at the beginning of my speech and my state of mind at the end.

117. Hey, maybe, this is life.

118. Thank you for listening to me, thank you all.

119. Then I will take a two-day break as usual (actually the leave note is not enough, otherwise I would have to take four days off) and update the next volume.

120. The following is the short story based on Jojo that I mentioned in the previous article. Interested readers can continue reading. It doesn’t cost any money anyway, right, right, right.

121. Finally, I would like to quote the words of my good friend Du Gong.

122. My dream is a bad money dream.

——————

First of all, I am a hamster.

To be precise, I am a rodent whose scientific name is the Syrian hamster, also commonly known as the golden bear, and the naked ape who is lying outside the cage and observing me through the glass cover, in terms of social relations , he is my master.

I don’t know if hamsters were included in the abolition of slavery, but he did buy me from a roadside stand for ten dollars.

After I gained self-awareness, from what Naked Ape called me, my name was jojo. This name comes from the comic "Jojo's Bizarre Adventure". Every protagonist in the comic is named jojo, and I This is the second hamster for the naked ape.

Technically, my full name is Joseph Joestar.

I quite like this name. After all, I really like that comic. At this point, you may want to ask, why does a hamster have the ability to think and talk to himself so much? And the reason for all this It goes back to two years ago.

Well, for humans, it’s a small part of their long lives, and for Syrian hamsters, whose average lifespan is only three to five years, it’s the equivalent of the first half of my life.

One day in the first half of my life, I don't know what method this erectus used, but he and his two roommates succeeded in making me acquire the same intelligence as humans.

Yes, a hamster with a brain less than the size of a melon seed gained the same thinking ability as a human.

I still remember the day when the naked apes were dancing outside their cages, saying it would win them the Nobel Prize, and that was supposed to be the happiest day of their lives, and for me, as a hamster, That day was the beginning of my nightmare.

They didn't do anything abusive to me. The only thing that could be considered abuse was that they often forgot to pack my cage, so I could only sleep on my shit.

In the past, as the "jojo" before, I might not think there was anything wrong with this, but now I am different. I have the same intelligence and thinking ability as human beings. I clearly know that it is me. The excrement of human beings also has the same aversion to it as humans.

I feel a headache when I think about how I often fed on this food in the first half of my life. Although it is the instinct of living things, now that I have wisdom, I should break free from the instinct of beasts.

Even if I'm just a hamster.

When I first gained wisdom, I was very scared and uneasy. Those things that were unknown to me and should not have been noticed could be known and understood in an instant.

My master performed a minor surgery on me and drilled a hole in my already small brain. Through the connection of the data cable, they were able to instill a large amount of knowledge directly into my brain. This is why I I can understand so much and explain it rationally.

They really deserve a Nobel Prize.

A steady stream of knowledge poured into my brain, as if from the moment I connected it to the jack, I strangely learned the basic means of understanding the world, such as literacy and arithmetic, which take humans several years to complete.

All words, images, and sounds bypassed my sensory organs and acted directly on my mind, just like a moment of enlightenment. I often feel that at the moment I gain wisdom, I truly The earth came to life.

This Syrian hamster has what's called a soul.

From that moment on, I no longer lived for the simple continuation of life, but for new knowledge. Every day these naked apes can bring something new.

Movies, music, comics, no matter which of them, attracts me far more than mealworms.

For these things, I actively cooperated with their experiments. Unfortunately, there are still too few things that the hamster's body can do. Between me and the naked ape, we can only express different letters by eating different things. Piece together short words.

But at least they know that I have wisdom and can communicate.

The upright naked apes were shouting about Nobel Prizes and pushing the world forward, but all I wanted to do was quickly connect to the data cable and watch the next episode of Spy Play House.

During that time, they and I lived very happily. I think I should be the happiest hamster in the world.

until one day.

Naked Ape erectus thinks that when it's mating season, I should find a female hamster for me to continue my bloodline. In fact, he doesn't care about my bloodline. He just thinks that my child will inherit the third generation of jojo. Name, it's just fun.

I didn't think much of it until they put a fluffy female hamster in the cage and she sniffed me and then raised her butt.

I don’t like female hamsters, the type I like is Yui Aragaki’s.

But I am a hamster, and I should like female hamsters.

I don't know why this happened. Looking back now, I suddenly became very angry. I should have put aside my animal instincts and regained my wild nature. I tore the female hamster into pieces.

I killed my own kind, but I didn't feel anything. I felt like I just crushed a hamster.

Yes, just a hamster, although I am a hamster too.

Naked Ape erectus, like me, had no idea about this tragic situation. He said that it was just like this for hamsters, and it was just common.

Yes, hamsters are like that.

I realized the problem. I am a hamster, but I have human wisdom. I am thinking with human thinking, or in other words, I am thinking with advanced thinking, but my animal body conflicts with .

Then I became miserable.

It stands to reason that hamsters should eat hamster food, but when I climbed out of the den and picked up the grass clippings, looking at the mountains of hamster food, I had no appetite at all. I forced myself to eat. What I was thinking about was the delicacies I saw in the data.

I don’t know if hamsters have nightmares, but I think it was a nightmare. I dreamed that I was originally a human, but was cursed by an evil wizard and turned into a hamster.

But I know that I was originally a hamster, but I was lucky enough to gain human wisdom.

The Naked Apes began to prepare further experiments to verify my thinking ability, but I stopped cooperating with their experiments and became very passive.

I felt like I had a human soul trapped inside a hamster body.

After realizing this, I no longer looked forward to the new knowledge brought by the naked apes. The more I understood this splendid world, the more painful I felt, and every day's happiness turned into hellish suffering.

I like music, but my throat structure cannot support my voice. Even if I hum the melody, I can't do it. I want to taste the taste of pancake fruit, but my mouth is too small. Even if I can eat it, my taste is limited. I can’t replicate the delicious taste in my mind.

I want to see the beautiful scenery with my own eyes, but I don't even have the strength to escape from this cage, not to mention that the hamster is still short-sighted.

I began to miss the ignorant me who only followed animal instincts.

The more we know, the more we think, the more we suffer, the more we suffer.

I began to try to escape from all this and become the hamster that ate, slept, and ate again, but my thoughts were like a proliferating virus, spreading all the time until I burst.

I still remember that day, I was running my beloved running wheel to vent my energy that I had nowhere to release, but suddenly I started biting myself and trying to bite through my belly. I felt at the time that I just needed to tear open this furry shell. , I can break the seal of this body and release the human self.

I know this is false. I am a hamster. Even if I am smarter than most humans, no matter how hard I try, I can hardly become one of them.

I started thinking that I might need someone to talk to.

Naked ape?

In the eyes of the naked ape, no matter how smart I am, I am still a smart hamster, just an experimental subject.

Hamster?

Stop being funny, those wild, furry things will only fight with me over ridiculous territory.

Psychologist?

He might think I'm cute.

…

I have no peers, I am alone, and this is the only one in the world.

But luckily, as a hamster, there are still some things I can do.

Such as resistance.

I became myself again, the hamster that followed instinct.

No matter how the naked apes test me and how much interesting knowledge they bring to me, no matter how much they plead behind the cage, I will no longer pay attention to the naked apes.

In their eyes, it was as if my wisdom disappeared from my body overnight. This hamster that had the instinct to communicate with them suddenly turned back into the original hamster in the roadside stall, with nothing to do but eat, sleep, and run on the wheel. Won't.

The Naked Apes began to chafe and hate each other, quarrels broke out among themselves, and soon, except for regular feedings, they no longer bothered me.

This is my revenge on them.

In fact, I wanted to bite one of them more, but I didn't want to hurt them. I was in pain, but it was because of them that I saw that brief glow.

Just like that, I stayed in my little nest and kept thinking.

I'm a hamster.

I'm a hamster.

I'm a hamster.

…

The only good thing is that I don't live as long as a human being. I know that my pain will soon end, and I will die peacefully in my little nest holding my favorite snacks.

I feel very peaceful. This is a cruel world. Individual life is meaningless in front of this magnificent scale, whether it is human beings or the great civilization they have established, let alone a mere hamster.

But I also know clearly that I have thrown myself into this great torrent that is destined to perish and become a small one, even if only I know what is really happening.

But I am very happy, I did it, I took a small revenge on these arrogant naked apes, and made a small resistance to this bad fate.

This is the ending I chose for myself.

As for you?

You do not exist, you are nothing, you are just a Syrian hamster talking to himself before dying, an illusory object of confiding.

Now, I am going to enter that eternal dream.