Endless Debt
Chapter 743 Heart of Iron and Stone
Aimu never questioned Boluogo's iron-like posture. To this undead man, he seemed to have no fatigue, no pain, and no rest. But now this iron man actually actively rejected his tenacity and revealed own vulnerability.
"Amu... I've been thinking about these things for a long time. I always thought I found the answer, but in fact I didn't. When Church lay in front of me like that, I vaguely realized the real answer."
Bologg clenched and unclenched his hands uneasily in front of him. In Aimu's opinion, Bologg was as nervous as a graduate preparing for an interview.
This was the first time that Aimu saw Boluogo like this.
"Yeah, I'm listening."
Aimu listened to Boluogo's thoughts and allowed such an iron man to express his inner thoughts to him. It can be seen how Boluogo's pressure at this moment has condensed.
He needs to help Boluogo, just like he helped him.
Yes, that's it. Aimu always felt that she had done something wrong. She wanted to make it up to Boluogo, but she didn't know how to do it. She could only work hard to maintain the equipment for Boluogo and worked tirelessly.
"I thought I was a very responsible person."
Boluogo paused again as he spoke. He was thinking about how to tell Amu this and this unknown side of himself.
"I rarely promise anything, but as long as I promise, I will definitely do it. This is what I think I am responsible for, but looking back now, I find that I am very resistant to making promises to others, just like this The formation of the temporary action team is the same."
Boluogo didn't know how to describe his emotions specifically, "I attach great importance to responsibility. I will force myself to do it no matter what, but I resist these..."
"When I acted as a team member before, I was able to do all this easily. All I was responsible for was the work and myself...I was the least to worry about, but when the temporary action team was established, others would take care of them. When his life was put into my hands, I felt unimaginable pressure."
Boluogo recalled, "This is not the first time that I have held other people's lives like this. During the war, I saw too many people die around me. I have no emotion about it, but it is different now..."
"Now they have become a part of your life. If any one of them falls, your complete life will be shattered again."
Aimu said and approached Boluogo. The two of them held their arms tightly together. Aimu was so close that Boluogo could feel her breathing.
"is that so?"
"Or...maybe."
Boluogo looked up at the sky. There were some words he didn't say. Not only the lives of the team members, but also under the control of the devil and the entrustment of others, in the future, maybe the direction of the world would fall on his shoulders.
Determining the fate of the world sounds too grand and incompatible with a small person like Boluogo.
"So I think I may not be a person with a strong sense of responsibility as I imagined. On the contrary, I am a coward who is afraid of responsibility and avoids it.
Whenever responsibility comes, I do whatever it takes to get it done and then get out of it. "
Burlogo covered his face and spoke in a low voice, "When I saw Church's appearance, I suddenly saw many people. This time it was Church lying in front of me, and next time it might be Hart or Palmer... …you."
The cold wind passed by, making a sound like laughter, as if someone was laughing at Boluo Ge.
"Does it sound surprising?" Boluogo put down his hand and looked at Aimu tiredly, "Actually, I am such a person."
"No...I'm not surprised."
Aimu suddenly grabbed Boluogo's hand. With the existence of the gift of the Axis of Time, Boluogo would always return to his most perfect posture. For this reason, there were no scars or rough calluses on his hands. But Ai Mu Miao could still feel the cracks that seemed to be carved into his soul.
"It's not that you're afraid of responsibility, Burlogo."
Aimu emphasized that she must make Boluogo realize this, "What you are really afraid of is that this hard-won good life will be shattered again."
Boluogo's pupils narrowed slightly, as if someone had touched his heartstrings.
"Just like what happened to you..."
Aimu's voice became softer. If a person develops a liking for another person, then she will definitely try to understand everything about the other person. The same is true for Aimu.
From the collected information, Aimu was able to vaguely piece together the life of Boluogo. He went through suffering and a long prison. In his darkest moment, he was saved by an old friend, but he did not wait for repayment. After all this, old friends left.
Boluogo's heart became cold again, as hard as stone. It was not until that crazy rainy night, when he personally executed Hu Ren and smashed Thorndike's head, that the pain was somewhat relieved.
In the following life, more and more friends softened Boluogo's heart, making him regain the beauty, but also making him feel endless fear of losing this beauty again.
Bologg had already suffered from this kind of fear once. He was so afraid of this possibility that he even mistakenly believed that the root of his problem was evading responsibility.
"Do you understand what I mean? Boluogo, you are not a person who is afraid of responsibilities and avoids them."
Aimu struggled to think of a suitable sentence to express, and then she realized that for a stubborn guy like Boluogo, he needed more intense treatment and stronger words.
"You just...just love other people so much."
"like?"
Burlogo heard this term and asked, "Are you serious?"
He felt that he was about to be amused by Aimu, "You know me, whether it's a party at home or a club of the undead, I always sit on the sidelines and never try to get involved..."
Aimu interrupted, "Are you trying your best to prove that you don't love other people?"
Boluogo was speechless for a moment.
Aimu approached Boluogo again. Those exquisite and magnificent eyes were so close. Floating rings of light lingered on the edges of the pupils. Against the dim light, Boluogo saw himself reflected in Aimu's eyes. , his expression was so frightened.
"Tell me, Boluogo," Aimu pressed forward, "Do you want to say that you are a cold person who doesn't love anyone?"
Bologna said nothing.
Aimu knew that she had won. She pretended to be sad and said, "Others, especially Palmer, will be very sad when they hear this. He is still your roommate."
Boluogo remained silent. Aimu's words were a bit too scary for Boluogo.
Love, how is this possible?
But Boluogo couldn't veto what Aimu said. That would be too cruel, both to others and to himself.
"That's it, Boluogo, because of past experiences, because of your damn character, because of everything bad in this world... you have distorted love and regarded it as some kind of abnormal sense of responsibility, and you He actually still enjoys it.”
Aimu's words made Boluogo's mind go blank. Before Aimu raised this possibility, Boluogo had never thought about these things. He was like a numb man kneeling on the ground, never thinking about it. Hold your head high and look at the sky.
"Don't you realize it yet? Boluogo, think about the revenge and anger that supports you in fighting." Aimu asked back, "Why do you desire revenge?"
Burlogo replied dreamily, "Those bastards killed Adele."
"Why does Adele's death cause you so much pain and make you furious and vengeful?"
Boluogo wanted to say something, but no sound came out. His lips trembled slightly, and a feeling he had never felt before came to his heart.
"Because...because I love her."
How could Boluogo not love the person who gave him warmth?
"What about Church?" Aimu continued to ask, "Why does he make you feel such emotions?"
The distorted mind witnessed the birth of the light. Although it was so close to him, he had always ignored its existence.
Bologg looked at Aimu in horror. Apart from being frightened, there were many expressions in his eyes that he had never seen before. They were things that Aimu had never seen before. It was also something that Bologg had suppressed in his heart and had never appeared before. Passed.
“Because you love them too, you love everyone, and you feel the pain of their suffering and the stress of holding their lives in your hands.”
Aimu looked at Boluogo in confusion, as if he couldn't understand why Boluogo was troubled by this problem.
"That's the answer to the question, it's simple."
Aimu added, "But it's difficult for you."
This time Boluogo was silent for a long time. He was sometimes happy, happy for his true love, and always painful and angry because of Church's injury and the upcoming war.
"This has nothing to do with sense of responsibility, and you have never faced up to your emotions. You are a human being, not a machine. Your twisted mind will only suffocate in this depressive spiral."
Aimu looked at Boluogo with some relief and said to himself, "I felt something was wrong a long time ago."
She reached out and touched Bologg's back.
"Obviously you are made of flesh and blood, why is your heart like stone?"
After a long silence, Boluogo's eyes became clear, and his voice contained a bit of relief and awakening.
"Thank you, Aimu."
"You're welcome."
Aimu was happy that Boluogo had regained his spirit, and then she thought of something, some small selfishness, a trap laid early in the morning.
She leaned next to Boluogo and spoke in a very low voice and a gentle tone.
"That means you love me too, right?"
Burlogo replied naturally, "Of course."
As soon as he said the words, Boluogo seemed to notice something was wrong in the atmosphere. He looked at Aimu with a bit of confusion and surprise, and Aimu let out a sly laugh, which made people confused.
During the long period of getting along, Aimu acted so well-behaved that Boluogo forgot that she was actually as cunning as a fox.
Boluogo froze on the spot, a storm of thoughts swirling in his mind.
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