Everyday Players at Hogwarts
Chapter 53 Lockhart's New Book
Ryan suddenly felt lucky again. If there was no system, he would dive into this seemingly simple fairy tale. Being familiar with the original work, he would act with the simplest strategy. In the end, he might encounter some unspeakable power.
Of course, if he is just too cautious, as the descendant of Peverell, he himself will not be stopped, and he may become the god of death.
"Ryan, what are you looking at?" Kate tilted her head and looked at the cover of the book I was holding.
It has long been Ryan's habit to read a book and spend the rest of the time thinking about other things.
"The Tales of Beedle the Poet." Ryan raised the book in his hand.
"Ah, I stopped reading this when I was 5 years old!" Kate proudly took out an unknown vampire novel.
Reading is indeed the best way to socialize among Ravenclaws.
Accompanied by the sound of rustling books, Ryan relaxed and fell into sleep unconsciously.
Early the next morning, Ryan got up from the bed, pushed away Kate who put her feet in front of his nose, and put on a brand new wizard robe with a thought.
Wizard robes are convenient and loose, and you can wear anything underneath them.
Ryan sat in the surprisingly beautiful lounge and looked out the window, which was still gray.
As if he sensed someone waking up, a cup of hot black tea, chickpeas, bread, and grilled sausage appeared on the table.
Ryan took out the Daily Prophet next to the sofa and read it slowly while having a simple breakfast.
Turning to the thirteenth page, the article showed the usual photo that made people physically uncomfortable: a woman wearing a pair of jeweled glasses, her blond hair styled into delicate curls, her teeth exposed, and a beautiful smile that she thought was very charming. Smiling, wagging his fingers towards Ryan.
"This smile is the same as Lockhart's. The smile shows 8 teeth, but Lockhart is still handsome. Is Rita Skeeter the only one who has no talent?"
"Let me see, what did this woman say?" Ryan complained unabashedly and drank a cup of black tea.
Gilderoy Lockhart's writing style is known for his elegance and romance, and he himself is as easy-going and handsome as in the book.
In his warm and comfortable home, he greeted me in the foyer and led me straight into the kitchen for tea, a slice of cake heavy in sugar and fat, and of course, freshly baked, steamy conversation.
"Needless to say, Gilderoy Lockhart is a man of dreams," said Skeeter. "He is a handsome and fearless wizard who has solved countless problems during his long journey. He is also a famous author." Gilderoy Lockhart Teaches You How to Get Rid of Pests from Home is a book worth reading for many families, and I believe there will be many wizards who will buy it in the future.”
Gilderoy is undoubtedly a fast player.
This 500-page guide was written during Lockhart's two-week journey. I asked him how he could do it so quickly.
"Well, when you've written as many books as I have and loved to travel, then scrambling for time becomes second nature. I know there are a lot of wizarding families who are hungry for a comprehensive guide to ridding their homes of pests, and I hope this is One that satisfies this need.”
I mentioned the most widely circulated comment in the Daily Prophet. He claimed to be a classmate of Gilderoy's. He said, "Gilderoy Lockhart is a character who gives all his classmates a headache. The stories in his books What he did was less credible than a Chocolate Frog card.”
Lockhart looked up and laughed.
"Lovely old classmate! I still remember that I claimed that I could make the Philosopher's Stone before graduation, and planned to lead the England Quidditch team to win the World Cup, and eventually became the youngest Minister of Magic in the UK! But that doesn't mean I can't To accomplish great things, I work to rid the world of evil and sell my own line of hair conditioners—"
However, many media reprinted messages from classmates claiming to be Gilderoy Lockhart, saying that he was a narcissist and a disgusting person who carved his name on the Quidditch pitch in 20-foot-long letters (which made him locked up for a week), had his likeness projected into the sky like the Dark Mark, sent himself eight hundred Valentine's Day cards, and had to cancel breakfast because of the large amount of owl droppings and feathers. Into cereal.
How could such a wizard become an outstanding wizard who has won the third-class Order of Merlin, an honorary member of the Anti-Dark Arts Alliance, and won the "Wizard Weekly" Most Charming Smile Award five times?
"Oh, my dear," said Lockhart, beaming, patting my hand affectionately, "you know as well as I do that with a head of beautiful curls, a fearless energy, and a beautiful And with the sharp shorthand peacock quill pen, you can write so many words in your spare time!”
"Moreover, I am from the smartest Ravenclaw house. You know, not everyone will honestly recognize a person's excellence."
"However, these rumors and slanders can long be regarded as jokes, because if you have followed me and my journey, you can find many obvious sources:
With Dumbledore's permission, I once ran a school newspaper at Hogwarts and accumulated rich writing experience.
Throughout my journey, you will find that the female ghosts of Wan Lun, the ghouls of Greece, the vampires of Northern Europe, the trolls of Poland, the snowmen of XZ, the dominatrix of Germany and other incidents were all solved after I passed by. It is also written one by one in the book. "
Gilderoy Lockhart's new guidebook GG makes it clear that for those who are troubled by pests in their homes, a comprehensive and effective method awaits them.
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So what's most surprising about the methods he discovered?
"Okay, stop talking, Rita, I won't reveal the most exciting content before everyone buys the book!" Gilderoy laughed and said, "But I can guarantee that anyone who thinks they are very good will People who are good at housekeeping magic will wake up from their dreams after reading my guide! Those whose job is to clean up pests will have a simple and effective method that they have never dreamed of!”
"Yes, "Gilderoy Lockhart teaches you how to rid your home of pests" is such a useful and magical guide that every wizarding family should have."
I asked Lockhart if the book dealt with all pests.
"Oh, goblins are just the simplest kind," Lockhart said with a smile, "No, no, the pests involved in the book are far more serious than goblins, and even worse than the vixens that often breed on curtains. No, they are all the pests you can’t imagine encountering in your home!”
Despite all these accolades, could Gilderoy be able to challenge the expertise of other home cleaning companies in areas he didn't understand?
"Oh, I'm so glad you mentioned other home cleaning companies," Gilderoy Lockhart said with a suggestive smile, "Companies that live by the magic of simple living be prepared. People read me After reading the book, we have to conclude that household cleaning is no longer a matter monopolized by certain wizard families and groups!"
Gilderoy would not say more about this interesting subject, so we turn to the question that will undoubtedly interest the reader the most.
"Oh, that's right," Gilderoy nodded repeatedly. "On August 1st, my masterpiece "Gilderoy Lockhart Teaches How to Get Rid of Pests from Your Home" will be available in major bookstores."
I asked Gilderoy if he had any new works recently or if he had done anything great that no one knew about.
"Oh, yes, a new work, a new work about me eradicating evil and raping in a foreign country," Lockhart said. "Not every act I did will be written in the book. Some of them involve the privacy of the parties involved and the country. I can't say more. Not to mention writing.”
The conversation naturally turned to the shampoo developed by Gilderoy. Does Gilderoy's shampoo have any groundbreaking breakthrough compared to Porter's?
"Oh, I don't want to say too much - I'm just introducing my new book this time - although my shampoo innovatively uses egg yolks from birds and snakes to make the hair more shiny. Potter's shampoo has long been outdated. Well, if this ridiculous old man Newt Scamander hadn’t said that birds and snakes were endangered, my shampoo would have sold even more!”
After he said this tantalizing statement, I took my leave.
There is no doubt that Gilderoy Lockhart's book will be an instant bestseller.
Home cleaning companies, on the other hand, will probably tremble in fear that some of their methods of cheating money will be revealed and no longer available for use.
After reading the last line, Ryan's head was full of black lines.
My dear, if you write a book, it will be published in the Daily Prophet, and even Rita Skeeter will support this. Lockhart is indeed the top figure in the wizarding world and the dream lover of countless middle-aged and elderly witches.
Selling a book is not enough, and cutting leeks is not enough. Let’s start with shampoo. It is estimated that other simple methods in this book will also involve some unique magic cleaners.
Even home cleaning companies aren't trembling with fear, they're probably trembling with joy, and Lockhart must be working with one of them.
Moreover, the shampoo also uses the egg yolks of endangered magical creatures such as birds and snakes as raw materials. If the protection of magical creatures were not as perfect as the Muggle world, he would definitely be arrested.
Shampoo is so expensive, what’s the difference between this and an unscrupulous businessman claiming that eating shark fin is good for your health?
Gilderoy Lockhart and Rita Skeeter are both Ravenclaw scum!
There is no doubt that they can get along well by relying on their intelligence, but without exception, they are all trying to get by. One relies on the forgetting spell to deceive other people's experiences to write a book, and the other relies on turning an Animagus into a beetle to steal privacy and write news. .
Both of them have very good magical talents. One relied on the Oblivion Curse to confuse many powerful wizards who could be called the protagonists in the travel notes. The other even mastered Ani, which only seven wizards in the 20th century had mastered. Maggs (although there are only a lot of them registered, there are still some that are not registered, such as Harry's father's four-man bandit).
Lockhart does have great abilities, and he is smarter than most of his classmates, but his biggest flaw is that he is unwilling to try unless he is the best, and he prefers to take shortcuts.
Rita Skeeter pays more attention to her paparazzi career and works hard for it, including mastering the Animagus.
Both of them were content with pleasure, slaves of the Golden Gallon, wasting their talents, and a wizard living as a vulgar mortal.
It is a pity that their character weaknesses and subsequent behaviors are due to their failure to truly realize what is the greatest thing in this world. Only magic is a matter worth studying for a wizard's life.
With magic, everything is possible. Even love can be obtained through love potions. Immortality can be obtained through the Philosopher's Stone. In terms of dominance, like Dumbledore, he can be the position he wants. Even the Minister of Magic can easily obtain it. , as long as he wants.
What else does Hogwarts teach besides magic? Magic is powerful because of the mind. The changed wizards have no mental health education, and they have formed small groups and split.
University or education reform is imminent.
"Ryan, what are you doing?" Kate, who changed into a common blue wizard robe, looked at Ryan with a frown in confusion.
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"Read the newspaper."
"It turned out to be Rita Skeeter, the annoying guy!" Kate wrinkled her nose.
"Why?" Ryan asked curiously.
"In Hogwarts, no, some annoying guys in Ravenclaw call me Rita Skeeter II!" Kate's beautiful brown eyes ignited with rare anger.
"This guy has ruined the reputation of our Ravenclaw, and he has no aesthetic taste."
"She has beautiful blonde hair like Penelope, but she makes her hair into delicate, stiff, weird curls. She has a big chin, so she should let her hair down to make her face look smaller and cover up the flaws, but this combination is particularly awkward."
"She also wears a pair of glasses inlaid with jewels, which is tacky."
"Her fingers are fat and thick, and she keeps her nails two inches long and paints them red, for fear that others don't know that her hands are ugly. Every time she takes a photo, besides her big chin, her claws are the center."
"In addition, her eyebrows are also painted very thick, and she has three gold teeth in her mouth."
Kate complained about all the appearance characteristics of Rita Skeeter in a long list. From a female perspective, Rita is actually like this?
Ryan said that he had learned a lot. It's not that men don't know how to complain about some appearance characteristics, but they rarely understand them better than women. When complaining about a person, people often start from the aspects they are good at.
That's right, Kate's outfit makes people ignore her short and flat features. She must be very knowledgeable in this area.
"Okay, but this report is about Gilderoy Lockhart's new book." Ryan interrupted reluctantly. Kate was complaining about the bright green and crocodile leather bags that didn't match Rita, and the magenta robe also looked tacky.
"Lockhart, the big mouth!" Kate suddenly came to her senses.
"I know him, Ryan, you mentioned him when you talked about vampires before." When vampires were mentioned, Kate became energetic again.
"What book?"
"Doing housework." Ryan replied.
"Doing housework? Wizards? Hahahahaha" Kate seemed to be tickled and rolled on the sofa with laughter.
After a long period of crisp laughter, Ryan learned from Kate that wizards and family magic, this combination is a joke in the British wizarding world.
Well, Lockhart really didn't care about his face in order to cut leeks.
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