Fantasy Clock~Dream Ruler~
[Special back] SP4: If there is a day, there will be a day
10
I had no dreams last night, and I slept until I woke up naturally the next day. After the special Wednesday, I went back to the usual Thursday. Today, I didn’t make an appointment with Xia Yinci to skip class, nor did Su Huilin wake me up early in the morning.
I don't remember how I got back to my room yesterday, or even when I fell asleep.
Although I don't know what this has to do with the lack of exercise, it seems that I was really tired yesterday. If Xia Yinci found out, she would probably laugh at me for the rest of my life.
when going out. Su Erin handed me the bento with one hand, and motioned for me to take it without saying a word.
"Huh? There's a bento box today...Thank you."
Su Huilin didn't answer my thank you directly, but just let out a meaningful "hum hum".
Today I don't know if she is in a good mood or what is going on, but she often has this weird reaction when eating breakfast.
Could it be that she discovered the eavesdropping last night?
How can it be.
Then it was noon on an uneventful Thursday. I opened the bento that I had been curious about for a long time, and the slippery egg on the rice almost fell down, but I quickly stopped it with my chopsticks. Su Erin generously filled the space on the right side of the rice with a few pieces of chicken wings, and stacked two pieces of deep-fried pancake-shaped pork chops on top of the luncheon meat. Aside from a space dedicated to corn and peas—which still contain ham—there are only cashews and strawberries in the spaced-off space at the top left. Absolutely no doubt more meat than fruit and vegetables.
Although I seriously doubt whether the amount of meat in the bento is far beyond my tolerance, but of course I would rather drown in the ocean of meat, so I have no choice but to be respectful rather than obedient.
When I shook off the momentary entanglement in my heart and enjoyed this carnival to my heart's content, I didn't know that a girl came to my side mysteriously.
She flashed two blue and clear eyes, and plugged the earphones in my hand while I was not paying attention.
The rustling waves swept away the accumulated sand on the coast. Xia Yinci carefully retracted the little hand that touched my ear, and sat quietly beside me like a child who has done something wrong. I didn't hold her accountable either.
Accompanied by a slight itchy sensation in the ear, the melodious piano crescendoed over the sad ocean waves.
Then the waves rose again, and the sound of the zither became louder.
The pulsating notes seem to gently avoid the soft place in the listener's heart, but they have no intention of taking their heart away.
Holding a bento that suits my taste. Xia Yinci next to me shares the same pair of earphones with me, and moves closer to me from time to time. I heard the turbulent emotions suppressed in the sound of the piano, the noisy voices of people on the playground and the lapping waves on the beach, and I also heard my own heartbeat.
Grief comes from resonance, and resonance comes from empathy.
It was an unbelievably brutal intuition.
Obviously, I have never left my hometown, but I suddenly feel that I will go far away one day.
I just feel. Suddenly feel.
Even such a daily routine, which seems to be forever turning to the future, will definitely have a day when it will come to an end.
11
"It's so peaceful... Another peaceful to lonely day."
The solitary light in the office drives away the night. I smiled wryly and leaned back in the chair, and the swivel chair creaked and screamed.
I turned around in a circle and returned to the computer screen. The music in the headphones loops over and over again, which is starting to look a little annoying. The blinking cursor stopped next to the numbers, as if silently urging me.
That's the reality—sometimes time just isn't yours to control. Even if you counted the scores last night, it is possible for you to count the rankings again today. Tomorrow, you may be asked to compare the results of other schools and give overall data suitable for analysis.
The song starts the cycle again. I hit the space bar unbearably, and my ears were finally cleared up, but the pain of loneliness filled my heart, and I couldn't stop it. It was as if a sourceless stream of water was gushing out continuously.
I can't cry. I had to let this negative emotion tear me apart. It's not normal to cry because of something like this. I tried my best to be indifferent to this loneliness, just do it as usual. But the irritability spreading from his chest didn't allow it.
It's just a birthday, and children will cling to such things. I simply hung my hands over the keyboard, trying to numb myself with other things. Just do it as you normally would. But there is a voice screaming in my heart.
"It's useless. The job at hand can never be finished. Next year you will be the same today, forever."
I want to refute the voice in my heart, and if I refute it, I won't be depressed anymore.
But I can't find a rebuttal. I actually felt that was the case.
I've always been running toward the future, even when I feel like I've done something wrong. But where do I want to go? Where am I going to end? I have no idea. I just ran to the next checkpoint.
Thoughts gradually fell into chaos. A direction I never questioned began to falter. Disappointment always accumulates in people's hearts, and finally throws it on a trivial matter that is not worth mentioning. I understand. But I don't know how to stop it. Can't stop it.
So in this silent office, suddenly——
"Ding--"
A message alert sounded in the earphones unexpectedly. It was short and insignificant, but it made a hot sweat break out on my back. The increasingly turbulent emotions were slowed down by the sound from the outside world, giving me a chance to breathe.
I hesitate to wake up the screen. Not an additional work assignment, nor a blessing from anyone or the carrier. But I still swipe the app that sent the reminder on the screen, input the fingerprint password with ease, and what greets my eyes is a song I have never heard before.
"Share songs: The singer you've been listening to has released a new song! Come and listen to it first!"
With the mood of not listening to it, I played the new song pushed by the machine. I don't know if it's because of a sudden malfunction of the machine or other reasons. When the music is played from the earphones, a song comment window pops up on the screen.
"Happy birthday to myself!"
In an instant, my eyes were fixed on the phrase "Happy Birthday to myself" and I couldn't move away. The world was quiet for a moment, and the gentle singing touched my heart unexpectedly.
I don't know why I read that line as "Happy Birthday to you" for a split second. It wasn't until I saw droplets of water falling on the screen that I realized it was my vision blurring. Or maybe there are more reasons than this.
"Today is super happy!! I like it very much!! I hope everyone likes it!!"
In fact, it is not easy for people to cry when they are extremely depressed. For example, today is your birthday, but no one mentioned your birthday all day long. There are no greeting cards and blessings, let alone any gifts. You can't cry.
What if you come home on the worst day of your life and find that not even your family seem to remember your birthday.
You should and will only smile wryly. That's all.
But if you don't see the light through the window downstairs, the moment you open the door, the colorful catkins fly, and the candles are flickering on the cake.
I think. Tears will surely flow like a spring.
Someone has counted. The average person in the world shares a birthday with more than 18 million people.
It is not a miracle that one person sings a birthday song for himself, but another person regards it as the only birthday greeting received that day.
but. For the person involved—the song that seemed to be sung only for me in the whole world was the miracle that saved me.
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