Feminism: I became the school idol of a female-dominated campus

New Book: "Stunning Light"

Why do I dedicate a chapter to this book? Well, I don't know.

In this book, I wrote a lot of stories that I experienced in real life (in fact, I also have depression and anxiety, which is really uncomfortable, every time I see xxs pretending to be depressed on the Internet, I want to kick it.

It tells the story of the male protagonist suffering from a serious mental illness, not afraid of death, and not afraid of sex, because Master K was forced to get involved in the struggle of dark forces, and later because the female protagonist inadvertently joined the military camp.

He found hope for life, so he wanted to join the barracks, return from training and go back to the dark forces, and swallow up more forces step by step (to put it bluntly, undercover.

This novel touches on a lot of (xy), online violence, bullying, what is love and other topics that are not easy to talk about...

I'll write it out vaguely, and I can be regarded as expressing some of my personal opinions on these things, and of course it will also involve biochemical warriors, mutants (that is, one person can fight hundreds of them, most of the time without guns, similar to combat texts. The

main plot is still the male protagonist annexes the dark forces and merges with the Huaxia military camp, and finally leads the Chinese army against the dark forces.

This book may not be good, but I want more people to see it.

Oppose (school) y. q l

The following is its first chapter: "Here it is still recommended that you use medicine for treatment, and communicate with your family more on weekdays..."

I interrupted the doctor impatiently and walked alone towards the outside of the hospital.

Outside, the streets were empty in the early hours of the morning, and I looked up at the dark phantom in the sky, and suddenly felt that my life was meaningless.

When I was a child, I felt that my life was very fulfilling, my parents were very good to me, I just wanted to study hard when I grew up, and then find a good job to repay my parents, and then find a girl I liked to have a pair Xi of dolls and live happily for a lifetime.

This is the simple and beautiful fantasy of my childhood.

But as I've gotten older, I've noticed that all of this has changed.

I've seen a lot of things I couldn't see before, and I've learned a lot about them.

My father and grandfather didn't say a word for decades, and although they were under the same roof, they treated each other like strangers.

I don't understand, what is the deep hatred of father and son?

My curiosity drove me to investigate the reason behind this, and I didn't find out why, but it did lead me to discover my father's secret, he gambled, cheated, and once forced grandma to kick grandpa out in the middle of the night.

But what he didn't know was that I hid behind my grandmother that night.

Grandma looked at me with tears and snot, trembling all over, I was afraid and hated, I was afraid that he would beat me after finding out about me, I was afraid that grandma would kill herself, I hated it even more.

I hated that I didn't have the strength to stand up to protect my grandmother, my grandmother didn't reply, he seemed a little angry, he grabbed the door and left after falling, and in the middle of the night my grandmother gave me a knife and told me to take revenge.

I'm a little depressed, and at the same time a little irritable, revenge, revenge? Why do you want me to get revenge?

But she didn't answer, until daylight came, when she was back to the kind grandmother.

She and her father are still a good mother and son, and the two of them love each other, which makes me very incomprehensible, is it my hallucination that night? But then I affirmed that what really happened in front

of my eyes was that they were both enemies the night before, and they became family members early in the morning, and this huge contrast made me a little broken, and I was even more broken when I saw the scene of my mother and father falling in love.

I'd love to tell her he's a jerk.

I want to confide in people, to confide in the injustices I have suffered, why do I need to know this, why do I have to endure this? I wanted to yell at them.

Shout out what I saw, shouted out what I heard, but I was afraid, I didn't shout out, maybe there was cowardice hidden in my heart.

When I was a little older, he stole my stuff and forced me to ask if I had a girlfriend.

I pretended to be light-hearted and replied no.

I didn't understand what was wrong with my family. Why snoop on my privacy?

I suddenly felt that everyone in my family was crazy, and only my grandfather was a normal person.

My mother taught me from a young age not to do anything to girls, not to abuse violence to solve things.

But she herself did not keep her promise.

I made a sound while eating, and she slapped me up, and my hand was pricked by a cactus and I tried to ask her for help, but all I got was disgust and curses.

However, she is sometimes so gentle, she will always satisfy me when I ask for material things, and in front of friends and teachers, she always knows a little bit of playfulness in her courtesy.

It seems that she is really a good mother.

Later, I found out that she was speaking ill of others behind her back, and when she was paranoid, she also told me, "In order to achieve the goal, you must do whatever it takes, because only those who win can be respected by others, affection?" Something for children to play with. "

My three views have changed again, but my mother has always taught me to pay attention to feelings, and I once wondered if she had two personalities.

It's changed, everything has changed, and so has my state of mind.

I became greedy for money, probably genetically, I was very good at business, and I started to resell toys while my peers were still playing with mud.

As I made more and more money, my ambitions and desires gradually swelled, and evil thoughts were like a seed that deeply penetrated into the pure land in my heart, sprouting wildly and growing wantonly.

But whenever I have evil thoughts, I see other people's children happily with their parents, and when I see friends having fun with their parents.

I confess, I was envious, and the seeds of evil in my heart quietly withered.

I envy them for having a pair of enlightened parents who don't mess around with their things, and they don't impose their ideas on their children, let alone ...

I don't want to think about it anymore, and since then I've started to become hypocritical, at least in this family, no matter how fierce they quarrel, no matter what wrong things they do.

It's not about me, I don't care.

Maybe it was only with my grandfather that I got back a little bit of my childhood feeling, and I went to ask my grandfather for pocket money.

At first, I thought that my grandfather was the worst person, and he didn't go home all day and night to go out to play cards, and he had no conscience.

I often want to ask him.

"Don't you miss your son?"

But then I understood why, so my grandfather had a very important place in my place.

On the day of my grandmother's funeral, maybe God had eyes, but my evil father was gone, and he was quietly taken away by death on that dark and rainy night.

I thought I would be happy, but the moment I saw the coffin, I confessed, I cried.

I stood in front of the coffin with tears in my eyes, and it was the second time in my life that I felt the loss of a loved one.

It was very uncomfortable, maybe I didn't realize it at that time, I had suffered from mild depression, and my childhood was not good, so I vowed to make good money in the future to make life better, and then I got to know the noble person in my life, the introduction of the thirteenth district: Master K.

Of course, this also started the beginning of my journey to the thirteenth district, and I became an ordinary employee of the company under Master K, but the salary was okay, 30,000 yuan a month.

Thoughts pull back to the present, diagnosis: moderate depression, severe anxiety, and possibly split personality.

I looked at the diagnosis of this dog day, and a sense of irritability and powerlessness came to my heart, and I sighed, but life didn't give me a chance to breathe, and today I have to go to Xiao Teng, the boss of the thirteenth district, to get someone.

"Life is impermanent, the large intestine encloses the small intestine."