First Player

Chapter 5·"Run away, don't run away." (Thanks to the leader of "Shiqi 17")

Su Mingan looked at Jamel Xiao on the chair.

The young man covered his face and shrugged his shoulders, completely losing his usual laxity. His pain and struggle were cut away in these few laughters like a knife scraping away at his flesh and bones.

The peach petals on the ground seemed to be a little wet, curling up and down. Su Mingan looked away and looked at the vast starry sky.

The night sky is so vast, as if it contains the expectations of all living beings. During the Chinese New Year, people used to write blessings on Kongming lanterns and let them fly, like orange-red sparks. Maybe they think that in the sea of ​​thousands of stars invisible to the naked eye, there will be a bright light in their hearts. They will not know that the Kongming Lantern will never become a star, it will only fall.

Su Mingan was wondering, during the years he was trapped in the palace, had the eldest prince ever released a Kongming lantern with his own hands? Or are you trapped by the strict palace rules and can't even see the sky lanterns of the common people?

Did he ever write down his ideals in his own hand? Have you ever left your own blessings with your own hands?

During the days when you were locked up in the tower, did you eat Lantern Festival? Have you ever seen lanterns? Or can you only vaguely see the thousands of lights all over the mountains and plains in the capital through the small window? Or can you only smell your own blood and see the steam of cooking Yuanxiao rising from the eaves?

He may have really dreamed of the palace maid and the white fox many times. Even though he could only lie weakly on the bed, they could hold his hand in his dreams and take him to the countryside, across the fields, climb high mountains, and jump across wide rivers. , seeing the paper kites high in the sky and the chickens and ducks on the ground.

He will not abandon his responsibilities, so in his dream he will still be the eldest prince. But he is an eldest prince who is loved by his parents, will not be locked up for blood collection, and can go out to play in the palace.

There will be candied haws on the street, but he has never seen a real candied haws, so he will assume that it looks like a gourd with sugar on it. There will also be people making clothes in tailor shops. He has never seen them either, so he imagines tailors to be ingenious and capable of making any kind of clothes.

There will be a shadow double behind him to help carry the bag. The shadow double has no ill intentions towards him and is just protecting him along the way.

if that is the case,

...It's really a beautiful dream.

Under the peach blossom tree, Xiao Jingsan seemed to be in this dream. He covered his face with his fingers and did not let go.

His shoulders were shaking slightly and his fingers were shaking.

He would never tell these secrets in his whole life, and would only keep them in his heart until he died. But when he saw Su Ming'an taking the initiative to die, he felt like he was seeing that person again, and he couldn't hold back his throat.

"Xiao Jingsan." Su Mingan said softly.

"I actually thought that even if everyone in this generation of the royal family is not suitable to be the donor of the alien king, I can still wait." Xiao Jingsan's voice was hoarse:

"Obviously I know in my heart that if I wait any longer, my lifespan will probably end, and it will be difficult to have another chance to resurrect the Alien King."

"But I am still thinking willingly, hoping that you will be more selfish, more greedy, and more considerate of yourself, so that at least I can convince myself with the reason 'you are not that similar yet'."

"But you have grown into the most beautiful person. No matter how blind I am, no matter how much I deceive myself, no matter how much I want to let go, I can't convince myself to give up this generation. I know very well in my heart that I can't wait any longer. No one can compare with me. You are more suitable."

"——I must resurrect the alien king. This is my mission."

"——You must become a qualified monarch, this is also your mission."

"So, at that moment - I suddenly realized with a sudden collapse that none of us are actually people who would abandon their mission for each other. You will not become a cowardly and selfish person because you are afraid of death, and I will not give up resurrection because of my shortsightedness. Alien King."

"None of us...were wrong."

Xiao Jingsan suddenly let go of his hand, there were still no tears in his eyes, just slightly red.

"No, it's me who's wrong."

"Obviously I had the purpose of becoming your shadow substitute from the beginning, but I still want to talk to you so many stories outside the palace, teach you how to practice swordsmanship, and make you trust me... If it weren't for these things, maybe I would better."

"I've obviously been thinking about letting someone replace you, but it doesn't work."

"Feel sorry."

Su Mingan was silent.

At this moment, he suddenly understood why these fairies all had black hair and black eyes, because they were all alien king donors that Xiao Jingsan had been trying to cultivate for many years - as long as one of them was more similar to the eldest prince, he could replace the eldest prince. fate.

Xiao Jingsan kept taking the eldest prince's blood just to cultivate these people. He initially imprisoned the eldest prince to collect his blood - in order to save the eldest prince.

But, unfortunately, Su Shaoqing is the best.

No one is brighter than him, no one is better than him. No matter how they were nurtured or guided, these imitators could not compare to the beauty he was born with.

Xiao Jingsan has been doing something futile but shocking.

He is trying to create an artificial "original".

As long as a person like Su Shaoqing is created, Su Shaoqing can be saved from the fate of becoming a donor. But no matter what, it just can’t be done. As a result, there were more and more black-haired and black-eyed people on the island, which made him more and more desperate.

Some people are inimitable.

In the end, Xiao Jingsan could only pick up the shackles with his own hands and cut a new wound on Su Shaoqing's arm - this was the first wound that was not meant to "save" but to "hurt".

Its purpose changed from "taking blood to create the original and saving Su Shaoqing" to "taking blood to harm Su Shaoqing and wait for Su Ming'an to come".

He killed his own idea of ​​salvation with his own hands. Drop the tip of the knife towards your heart.

"Shao Qing, do you want to drink?" Xiao Jingsan raised his glass to Su Ming'an.

The fairies around him were silent and did not break his drunkenness.

Su Mingan raised his glass but did not drink it. He wanted peach blossom wine just to lure Xiao Jingsan to drink it. Now that he had achieved his goal, he knew how much he weighed.

"I knew you couldn't drink." Xiao Jingsan laughed and raised his head to drink. The clear wine flowed down his chin and penetrated into the black collar. A few drops wet the wooden sign around his waist.

The three characters [Xiao Jingsan] are still deeply engraved on the wooden sign, and the ink outlines the wild carvings. No matter the time, he always remembers that he is Xiao Jingsan, not a person who proudly took away Su Shaoqing's identity.

At this moment, looking at Xiao Jingsan pouring himself a drink under the peach blossom tree, a hazy memory suddenly flashed before Su Mingan's eyes.

…

"Ding dong!"

[You have obtained Su Shaoqing’s memory (middle). 】

[You gain 50 Dream Patrol points. 】

…

Under the peach blossom tree, a black-haired little boy was sitting on a swing, humming a tune.

"Outside the screen window, the glacier jingles."

"In the first watch, the iron horse passed my room."

"In the middle of the night, the white bird is crying in its dream,"

"In the fifth watch, the bronze mirror accompanies the human figure. Everything belongs to you. One flower and one world, one leaf and one Bodhi."

"The world is floating in the sky, and the blessings will last until dawn..."

The branch shook, and a large piece of peach blossom petals fell down, hitting the little boy all over. The little boy pursed his lips, raised his head and shouted towards the branch: "Your Highness, stop climbing the tree. If grandma sees it, she will be frightened again."

The peach blossom tree moved, as if being showered by the spring breeze, with thousands of red and pink petals flying and falling. A young man poked his head out from between the branches: "Xiao Jingsan, I just want to see if I can see outside the palace wall by climbing this tree." world."

"Your Highness, you must have lost your mind." Xiao Jingsan shook his head secretly. If the eldest prince is so stupid, will he still be able to serve as a donor for the alien king in the future? He sighed: "Your Highness, your current position is in the center of the palace. Outside the palace wall, there is still a palace wall. Outside the palace wall, there is still a palace wall. You cannot see it."

With a crash, another large piece of peach petals fell down, like a red blanket, almost covering Jamel Xiao's whole body.

Xiao Jingsan pushed away the petals on his body, feeling helpless.

Su Shaoqing jumped down: "Besides the palace wall, is it still the palace wall..."

Xiao Jingsan said: "Yes."

Su Shaoqing said: "Actually, I know."

Xiao Jingsan said: "Then why are you climbing the tree? Last night I was just reading at Yin hour, and today I got up to read before Mao hour. I'm really worried about you."

Su Shaoqing shook his head: "I know that there is a palace wall outside the palace wall. But I have to climb a tree to take a look to know how high it is outside the palace wall. I have to try it myself to know what is outside. Will the palace walls not be able to block it? Will I be able to see outside the palace? I want to see what the moon looks like outside the palace."

Xiao Jingsan smiled and said: "Not bad, please keep this idea. However, the moon outside the palace is no different from the moon inside the palace."

Su Shaoqing was surprised. He looked at Xiao Jingsan's face: "Aren't you asking me not to climb the tree this time?"

Jamel Xiao stood up, his eyes were deep for a moment, and then he quickly returned to his normal smile: "I can't change what you want to do. Isn't that the kind of person you are? It's just that I hope you can become better, and Hopefully you don’t get any better.”

Su Shaoqing said: "What kind of contradictory psychology is this? Of course it should be the former. Even if it is not for me, it should be for the people."

...It looks more and more like it.

...It is also becoming more and more in line with the requirements of the donor.

Xiao Jingsan hid the pain in his eyes. He didn't know whether he should be happy for this resemblance or despair.

How happy would the people be to have such a monarch? But it is difficult for him to belong to this world.

But Su Shaoqing couldn't see the haze, he could only see the smile on Xiao Jingsan's face, like the morning flowers in the northeast corner of the palace.

The concubines did not like the morning flower because they thought it had a short flowering period and thought it was unlucky because it looked like a mayfly that lived and died. No one likes to see it. Only they like to see it. Xiao Jingsan said that this is a frivolous and solemn flower. It is frivolous because it ends its flowering period so quickly, and solemn because it does not bother to compete for beauty and does not care about worldly desires.

"Xiao Jingsan." Su Shaoqing said while squatting in front of the flowers.

"What's the matter?" Xiao Jingsan held the dog's tail grass in his mouth.

"If I really can't get out of the palace wall and see the human world in the future, you can sprinkle a pot of peach blossom stuffing on my grave and put a few bunches of candied haws on it to let me know what it feels like." Su Shaoqing said.

Xiao Jingsan's heart tightened, but he said: "This day will never happen."

Su Shaoqing shook his head: "Everything in the world is unpredictable, and the royal family is the most chaotic place. I only trust you and Sister Bai Lian in my heart. She is not good at force and is afraid of water. She is easily bullied. If I am really harmed by someone, when the time comes, It’s up to you to protect her.”

Jamel Xiao was silent.

...The people whom I trust the most are Bai Lian and him.

But he knew very clearly in his heart that he would be the one who would do the most harm in the future.

It was precisely because of his own extremely clear understanding that he was now in even more pain. It was as if millions of ants were gnawing at his heart. As his ears heard the gentle words, the burning pain became deeper and deeper.

Fate clung to his back like a poisonous snake.

He looked at Su Shaoqing with clear eyes, and finally tasted what an ugly thing the word "destiny" was. It will distort your ideals, break your spine, pierce your ideas, crush all the hard bones in your body, and finally stand in the sun and tell you arrogantly that this is "destiny".

Does it have to be this way?

It has to be this way.

"Your Highness." Xiao Jingsan said suddenly.

"Huh?" Su Shaoqing said.

Xiao Jingsan pressed his heart and suppressed his heartbeat:

"Run away."

"Escape to a place where no one can see you. Don't let me see you, don't let me have a chance to find you. For the rest of your life."

This is the final warning.

Su Shaoqing blinked.

He twisted a peach blossom petal on his shoulder, folded it into the shape of a paper airplane, and stuck it into Xiao Jingsan's hair with a whoosh.

"..." Xiao Jingsan quickly pulled off this childish thing. His mental age is far beyond that of Su Shaoqing, and he doesn't like this kind of thing.

Su Shaoqing twisted the petals, but smiled confidently:

"Xiao Jingsan, Xiao Jingsan, have you forgotten what you just said?"

Jamel Xiao said blankly: "What did I say?"

I told you to run away!

Before I change my mind, get out of my sight forever. Go see the Paper Kite you want to see, see the prosperous age of Datong you want to see!

"you say--"

Under the peach blossom tree, the black-haired boy arched his eyebrows, his young body, but he was thinking about everything in the world that was far greater than him.

It seemed that all the vastness of the world was condensed in his small heart, and he never regretted or forgot.

"Outside this palace wall, it's still a palace wall."

The boy twisted the petals:

"Beyond this peach blossom tree, there are still peach blossom trees. I can never run away."

"Besides, I won't want to escape. If I leave, those children selling candied haws, the old women making paper kites, and the girls sewing clothes, when I really see their misfortune with my own eyes, I will never leave again. There's nothing I can do. That's what makes me most desperate."

"If you don't have the shackles to restrain yourself and blindly choose your desires, you will no longer be a human being."

"so."

The young man smiled:

"So be it."

"I will work hard to live until the day when the great harmony is realized."

"You also work hard to protect me until you see that day with me. The people live and work in peace and contentment, and every household can have money to buy candied haws on a stick and new clothes to wear."

"Okay? Jamel Xiao."

Su Shaoqing waited for his answer.

"..."

At this moment, looking back at these eyes that reflected all living beings in the world, Xiao Jingsan seemed to hear the cry in his soul.

Like the roar of a whale in the deep sea, the cry was silent in the vast sea and fell into the dark bottom of the sea, where no one could hear it. He tried to cry for help, but couldn't speak. He tried to howl, but seawater poured into his throat.

——Run away, don’t run away, run away, don’t run away, run away, don’t run away.

Please, please, please.

These words echoed in his mouth repeatedly like a branding iron, but in the end he was so awake that he could not utter a single word.

He took the peach blossom petals and held them in his mouth, as if drinking a bowl of peach blossom stuffed rice. The mouth is full of bitterness and has no fragrance.

"good."

He didn't know how he said the word, but it didn't sound like a human voice, like a demon roaring.

Deception, lies, betrayal, extremely ugly.

Kindness, compassion, mercy, and the most beautiful thing.

They were so bright and dark, but they were able to stand together, and in the end, darkness usurped everything from light.

He was thinking,

If their positions could be changed, that would be an ending that is in line with the right path of the world.

pity,

You can't control your fate, and you can't make up your mind.

If other people's lives have a beginning and an end, then Su Shaoqing's life can see the future and the end at a glance.

They have something they cannot give up even if they die.

So none of them can escape this fate.

Finally, Xiao Jingsan opened the door silently and came over carrying a copper basin and an iron chain. At that moment, Su Shaoqing, who had grown up, did not need to speak. He looked at the First Prince badge worn on Xiao Jingsan's waist, then looked at the height outside the window, and suddenly understood what would happen in the future.

Xiao Jingsan watched as the light in Su Shaoqing's eyes dimmed little by little, but there was still a spark of fire. He silently walked to the bed, tightened the chain like a zombie, and took out the knife.

"Say something." Xiao Jingsan said.

"..."

"Your Highness." Xiao Jingsan gradually looked pleading.

"..."

However, the eldest prince leaned against the wall and said nothing.

The candlelight of the copper lamp reflected on the wall, like a thread about to break. There was nothing in his eyes.

The starry sky outside the window was covered by dark clouds, dense, oppressive, and endless darkness.

There are no stars, no moon.

There was only the sound of thin blood flowing.

The ideals and promises of my youth were like an absurd and distant dream, and the longing for prosperity and freedom was more like an absurd dream within a dream.

And now,

He who believes in dreams is dead forever.

…