First Player

"I used to think," the man said, "As long as I become a god, I can take on everything and achieve everything for them."

Su Ming was silent.

"They need to survive, so I give them survival. They need trade, so I find ways to open trade for them. They need to struggle, so I control their struggle." The man said: "During the sixty years in Yunshang City, in It has been too long for me, and I have felt guilty more than once for the life that has disappeared, and more than once I have wished that my life span would end or I would sleep forever."

"But the moment I was pulled down by you, I suddenly realized that the sixty years of becoming a god were like an illusory dream."

"I seem to have loved them so much that I have nothing left, but I feel that this love is separated by a layer of things, more like watching a fire from afar. It is loving a void image, or a person who is higher than others. ' sign above."

"Now that I have become Su Lin again, this love has become stronger. It seems to have returned to its original appearance."

"However."

The man stopped talking.

Su Ming was silent for a long time, and then slowly said: "...I don't know the reason, but you couldn't go home."

Su Lin was silent. Under the intense and sticky sunset, his pupils had a gold-like texture that made people feel untouchable.

"Praya doesn't need gods anymore."

In the long silence, a sound similar to a sigh sounded.

Su Ming'an didn't know what kind of mood Su Lin had to say such a thing.

He should be extremely proud, thinking that becoming a god can protect everyone. Or perhaps it was due to an extreme self-awakening, knowing that Praia no longer needed the role of "Su Lin". The land he had cared for, protected, and loved deeply for eighty years was the hometown of his lover that he could not leave. Suddenly, his own "necessity" was no longer there.

"I dragged you out, and I will send you back as well." Su Mingan said.

Su Lin turned her head and looked at Su Ming'an with a rare and confused look: "The world game is over, Su Ming'an. You can't send me back again."

Su Mingan shook his head: "It's not over yet, I'm still in it."

Su Lin said: "I don't think you are crazy, so you should have a reason for saying this."

Su Mingan smiled. Even the fake Su Lin was the only one who could truly understand his feelings. After all, they are the same kind of people: "Yeah, I feel lucky."

"Lucky?" Su Lin pondered for a moment: "Are you lucky that the world game is over, and the current ending makes you satisfied? Or are you lucky that the world game is not over yet, and you still have a chance to change the ending?"

The two looked at each other for a long time.

No one spoke.

The long, moist wind blew their similar black hair, and their similar eyes reflected each other's similar eyes.

As if an invisible bell was ringing at this moment, Su Lin suddenly understood Su Ming'an's eyes: "Are you really...do you even want to save me?"

You said you were going to take everyone home.

Everyone has gone home now.

But you still want to do better and send me home. Or maybe you want to save something more.

How much more do you have to bear?

How much more do you have to bear?

Su Mingan?

But Su Ming'an, reflected in Su Lin's eyes, slowly spoke:

"Don't take yourself too seriously."

"I don't want to save you."

That's why they are so similar, they even awkwardly don't want to accept each other's praise.

Su Mingan turned around, the river was roaring, the white pigeons were resting on the blue and white railings, the fishermen were shouting to close the nets, and the ship whistle was heard in the distance. These blue, pure white, colorless sounds, Scenery, people and smiles coexist harmoniously at this moment, rich and bright, as if they are meeting for the first time or reunited after a long absence.

Su Lin put her hands in her pockets in the long wind and watched the young man leave. A khaki trench coat swayed in the wind. He may be recalling that he was also wearing a khaki trench coat in the ruined world, looking for traces of his homeland in a strange world. Perhaps what he was thinking of was the blue sky in Praia, where azure blue and pure white blended together in a similar way. The fishermen threw up their fishing nets, and the sound of flutes came from the boats——

——And that day, a young man came from a distance out of azure blue and pure white, and met him for the first time holding the Sword of Arman.

That's where it all started.

Today’s youth are still on the journey.

He said he would take him home.

Su Lin laughed and turned her back to the young man. He was still looking at the endless river below. Su Ming'an's hometown is some distance away from the sea, so Su Lin stayed by the river to reminisce about the past.

It's that he doesn't want to be too far away from this patient. Although for this reason he would never say.

…

Su Mingan went to Noel's home.

This is not Noel's home in Yu State, but a new home built for Noel by Lu Shu and others, right next to Su Mingan's residential building. The room has a refrigerator full of desserts that Noel likes, photos of children, and colorful glass decorations.

Su Mingan sat in this room for a long time until night fell completely.

He had the illusion that Noel was in this room, breathing with him.

He didn't know why, this future Noel died.

Lu Shu said that Noel failed to get out of the world game. So they built a memorial room for Noel and filled it with things he liked.

Su Mingan was walking around the room, and he saw Noel's crow, which was a one-to-one replica of the stuffed crow placed in the garden. He leaned against the huge crow and felt a strange warmth, like a sun without light.

He saw pictures of children plastered on the wall. These were not real portraits, but the faces of children painted realistically by Machichi Yamada. They were all children from the New World Guild... who were taken care of by Noel. . They should be growing up healthily in some corners of the world at this time. Although the children no longer remember, for a year, a man named Noel took care of them until they came out of this tragic game safely.

He suddenly discovered that flowers were growing in this vacant garden. It was not planted by Lu Shu and others, but grew by the flowers themselves. Maybe a white bird once flew here and accidentally dropped the flower seeds, or maybe a long wind passed here and brought the flowers to life.

Lush, brilliant sunflower.

Su Mingan looked at these sunflowers clinging to the wall. In the empty room, only the children's photos were reflecting. No one took care of these flowers, so they bloomed willfully and unbridled, climbing over the low wall. Climbing over the door railing, he almost arrogantly went indoors.

They climbed all the way until they got close to a photo posted on the top of the wall - a blond boy smiling brightly and making a "yeah" gesture to the camera. The sunflower stopped growing wildly at the edge of this photo, and quietly bloomed into a blooming flower at the edge of this photo.

Even Noel's flowers grow vigorously and sparingly, much like him.

"..."

Su Mingan took off a sunflower and placed it on Crow's forehead, as if he had put something down in his heart.

Under the night, the garden full of flowers named "sun" still does not bow its head. That boy was good at holding his head high and smiling in the darkest times.

And Su Mingan slowly lowered his head.

...I won't let this possibility happen.

Do my best.

He turned around, turned his back to the garden full of sunflowers, and walked forward.

He still couldn't hear the voice of the gods, as if the dream was not over yet.

…

At night, Su Ming'an was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling silently.

There were footsteps outside the door, and the girl walked in. Because Su Ming'an often goes crazy in the middle of the night, Yueyue will make a bed next to him to take care of him. Lu Shu and others were also sleeping not far away.

Yueyue will not find it offensive to sleep close to him. She is taking care of a patient and a friend who is connected to her soul. The eyes of the world cannot penetrate her soul.

Lying in the same room, the moonlight also looks gentle. Su Mingan opened his eyes until the rustling on the ground stopped.

The girl was lying on the bed, and a gentle voice sounded:

"In the future, when you graduate from college, let's go traveling together. With Lu Shu, Nuo...Lin Yin, Yamada Machichi, Lu, Mo Yan and the others."

Since Su Mingan couldn't live without medicine, they never traveled together.

"Okay." Su Mingan said.

"We can stay in the country we are traveling to, or other countries, and Luna welcomes us," the girl said.

"I don't like places that are too cold. The residence can't be too cold," Su Mingan said.

"Well, I don't like it either. Too hot or too cold is not good. I like the four seasons of the Dragon Kingdom very much."

"The economy of the place where we live does not need to be too prosperous, as long as it is enough for daily living."

"Can."

"Besides, the traffic doesn't have to be smooth. Sometimes, it's good to enjoy a slow-paced life."

"good."

"There can be beautiful scenery around my residence, but it doesn't matter if there isn't. You are already a beautiful scenery in my eyes. It's good to have you with me anywhere."

"Yes, we are always by your side."

"It's best to have a lot of flowers near your residence. I remember that Lin Yin likes flowers. If there is delicious food, that's also good. You like to eat snacks with different styles."

"good."

"Is there such a place?"

"Yes, we will definitely go..."

Yueyue's voice stopped.

Her voice was interrupted by Su Ming'an's movements. She saw Su Ming'an sitting up, with messy hair, clenched fingers, and water in his eyes.

In the darkness, the young man's vision was trembling, and his pupils reflected her and the melting moonlight.

"Is there such a place?" He asked again, even his voice became dull.

"Of course." Yueyue said.

The world is big and we are still young. We always have enough time and there are always places we can go.

"Will it be possible? Is there... such a possibility?" he said.

"certainly."

"Do I have a... long, long future?" he said.

"certainly."

His pupils kept tightening, as if he was listening to a touching and distant fairy tale.

They continue to imagine the future.

She said she wanted to learn more instruments. By then, she would be like a music group, and it would be fun to play for him.

She said that Lu Shu wanted to dye his hair black recently. After all, he had returned to society now and was no longer a despised homeless man. His white hair always attracted attention. He wanted to be a swordsmanship teacher in the future.

She said that Yamada Machichi had graduated ahead of schedule. He aspired to come to Ryukoku for graduate school and wanted to study psychology and become a psychiatrist in the future to educate more children who are confused about gender. He wanted Dongxue to be able to be brave from now on. Become Yang Xia.

They talked bit by bit, like whispers before going to bed, gradually adding bits and pieces of their imagination about the future to this imagination, like children building sandcastles, until they built a structure that satisfied them all. future.

The moonlight was silent, and the hour hand was getting closer and closer to twelve o'clock.

Su Mingan suddenly had a premonition of parting.

He looked at Yueyue. She was lying in a warm bed with medicine and water beside her. Seeing him looking over, her eyes were filled with melting moonlight.

"Ming'an?"

"The observer can come back, right?" Su Mingan said.

"Yes, I'm right here." Yueyue said.

Su Mingan was silent.

After a long silence, he spoke softly.

"That's good."

"That's good……"

At this time, footsteps came from the door. Lu Shu and Lin Yin walked in wearing pajamas: "Su Ming'an..."

I don’t know why they had this premonition, but Su Mingan seems to be disappearing.

Su Mingan closed his eyes, knowing that this was still a trick of the gods. If he "accepted" this possibility and chose not to leave, he would be completely immersed in this dream and might never wake up again.

...No more, wake up?

He suddenly laughed. He had imagined more than once when he was on the verge of collapse that if he really died completely one day, it might be a relief. Today's dream makes him feel happy. If he is really immersed in this dream and does not wake up, it will really...satisfy his occasional wishes.

but.

He slowly got out of bed, and the moonlight shone on his face.

Yueyue stood up and held his hand tightly. She didn't say anything, she just put her hand on his wrist. It seemed like she was trying to pull him tight, but also like she was trying to push him away.

There was still moonlight in her eyes that was unique to her.

"sorry."

He said.

Slowly remove her hand and fall into the melting moonlight in her eyes.

He opened his mouth in the deep sea, and the salt water choked his throat, completely blocking his last chance to make his own lively, unfamiliar voice... possibility.

As long as you go home. That's fine. What I am thankful for is not that I can follow you into spring, but that I still have the opportunity to save people who are lost in winter.

He swallowed bitterly and said silently with a smile——

sorry.

I can't escape.

Yueyue's eyes began to lose color.

"This is the source of all the misery in your life," she said.

Everything began to lose its luster, the sweatshirt on Lu Shu's body, the drawing board in Yamada Machichi's hand, Lin Yin's guitar, Mo Yan's wooden sword, and what Yue Yue saw... so clear, beautiful, and made people want to fall. The moonlight of tears.

"But I wish you a bright spring... Ming'an."

The future that the two of them had built bit by bit collapsed.

The twisted whirlpool appeared in Su Mingan's field of vision again. He swallowed the bitter seawater and was dragged into the deep sea bit by bit by the indescribable weight on his body. What was dragging his feet? He knows better than anyone else.

Su Mingan.

Who is Su Mingan?

Hearing the pounding of his heartbeat and touching his own hot tears, he understood the answer to this question like never before at this moment.

As if falling into the deep sea, the water invaded his senses, and the infinite pain shattered everything in front of him. The figures of Yueyue and others were shattering and disappearing.

He stumbled forward, his eyes full of dim black and white, but he couldn't hold anything. He was splashed with warm blood out of thin air - who did he think he could hold?

Perhaps even the organizers never thought that anyone could compete with them in a mortal body.

So this mortal never thought that this journey would be so difficult.

——He opened his eyes in the deep sea where he was drowning, and saw the silent god in front of him.

The expression of the god remained unchanged, and only one minute had passed on the clock on the wall, as if the first player had really just had a short and unreal daydream.

He breathed rapidly, but there was still warmth and solidity in his chest.

Colorful flowers bloomed in his heart, and people's figures were stored in it forever and would not fall no matter what.

He felt very light, as if he had been solidified into an empty shell called salvation. He felt heavy again, with countless lives sinking into his heart.

he does not know.

——How could a fantasy dream of returning home touch him so much?

he does not know.

Maybe he knew.

"Do you feel hopeless?" the god said, "its name is HE·After returning home. No one remembers your efforts, no one remembers who you are, and you even lost your most trusted friend. This is your future... …I’m sorry for giving you a nightmare.”

The corners of Su Mingan's eyes were so dry that there wasn't a single tear.

He felt that his life was like a movie with no ending, and not even a brief dream could appear in the plot.

——Drinking wisdom is like piercing the sword of balance. No separation, no sinking. You should be kind to the world, regardless of love or hate.

The savior who is willing to suffer bears the expectations and blame of the world——

So blood spread all over the ground and blossomed into flowers.

After a long silence, Su Mingan spoke very softly and slowly.

"Gods."

The gods watched him.

"I..." Su Mingan said:

He looked out the window at the moonlight. Flowing, clear, moonlight like her.

"I love this story."

The story you tell me is my own story.

I love this…

He closed his eyes and suppressed his stifled, moonlight smile.

"……fairy tale."