For The Rest of Our Life

When Xian Lin woke up from bed early the next morning, Xiao Wanqing was no longer on his side. Listening carefully, the faint pots and pans that made her feel at ease came from the kitchen.

She sat up and rubbed her head, thinking about seeing Xiao Wanqing for a while. Should she avoid embarrassment and behave as usual as she forgot everything that happened last night? Should I still have a memory, and when both are awake, wait for the opportunity to have another conversation?

Hesitantly, Xiao Wanqing appeared at the door neatly dressed. She brought in a glass of water, and she looked as usual, her eyes soft.

Xiao Yunqing sat down next to Lin Xian, touched Lin Xian's face, and asked her with concern: "Do you have a headache?"

Lin Xian did not come up with an answer, and decided not to move, following Xiao Wanqing's attitude to see the opportunity again. Xiao Panpan wants her to remember, she will remember; if she wants her not to remember, then she may have no memory.

She sideways kissed Xiao Xiaoqing's palm and said with a smile: "It doesn't hurt, it's very spiritual."

Xiao Yuanqing let go of her heart, chuckled, and got up and told her, "That's fine. Then go brush your teeth and wash your face. You have morning classes in the morning, and it's not good to be late."

There was no mention of Lin Xian’s drunkenness last night.

Lin Xian briskly agreed to her: "Okay, I will get up immediately." She looked at the back of Xiao Wanqing's departure, lowered her eyelids, and exhaled lightly.

Xiao Panpan didn't seem to want to mention it. Then she will not mention it for now.

Not to mention, last night, the tears left by Xiao Wanqing in her heart, she blamed herself with guilt and blame, but like a thorn, she stubbornly and stubbornly stuck in Lin Xian’s heart, Tormenting her, faintly hurt. When she thought that Xiao Panpan had been with her, she had this spike that tortured her in her heart, and she felt a little more painful.

She was the one who started out, and she was the one who seduced her. Why was Xiao Yuanqing taking the responsibility in the end?

But Xiao Yunqing said that without herself, she might not go down this path, and Lin Xian felt that it seemed impossible to refute.

She was not very young, but from the time when someone fell in love in junior high school to the university where everyone's hormones broke out, it was not that there were no boys chasing her. Even in the university, there were several girls who expressed their favors on her, either explicitly or implicitly. But she didn't feel it. She always thought that she was only relatively cold in feelings, and even wondered whether she would like anyone.

It was not until she found that she liked Xiao Wanqing, she suddenly felt a sense of belonging and fatalism.

It seems that all her refusal and indifference to others was just to wait for Xiao Wanqing to appear. She is not a very affectionate person, but a very affectionate person. She was sure that she would never fall in love with anyone like Xiao Xiaoqing in her life.

From the age of eight to the age of eighteen, her heart always beats for Xiao Wanqing.

She really chose this way because of Xiao Wanqing. Or according to some posts that she once stumbled into the forum when she wanted to learn some of this knowledge, she was bent for Xiao Wanqing.

But is this Xiao Xiaoqing's responsibility? Lin Xian felt that this was obviously wrong. But what should she say to convince Xiao Panpan, who is strict in discipline and forgiving?

In the evening, the student union held a regular meeting of cadres to discuss the arrangement of a series of activities that the student will be responsible for. At the end of the meeting, it was not early. Everyone was talking and laughing as they walked downstairs from the upstairs. Suddenly a few thunders sounded in the sky. Then, suddenly, there was a drizzle of rain, and the rain gradually increased in the thunder.

Everyone did not bring an umbrella. The others were boarders. After a while in heavy rain, they saw that the rain had turned slightly, so they trot in groups to the accommodation area.

Xia Zhijin and Lin Xian are the only consecutive day students. They covered their heads with their hands, chatting better than nothing, and trotting all the way to the parking lot.

As soon as he stood in the parking lot, Xiao Wanqing called. With a little apology, her voice cared about Lin Xian and said, "Envy, did you disturb your meeting?"

Lin Xian heard Xiao Wanqing's voice, and there was a smile on her lips: "No, it's over. Sister Jin Jin and I walked to the parking lot and were ready to go home."

"That's it. I sent a text message a few minutes ago and you didn't reply, so I just called directly." Xiao Wanqing explained. She looked at the mist floating in the night and sighed, "It's raining. I'm picking you up now. Isn't it too late?"

Since the last time he went to the school to pick up Lin Xian and didn't pick up someone, Xiao Yunqing's subconscious refused such a sudden. So, before getting a positive answer from Lin Xian, she did not dare to go rashly. But Lin Xian had a history of falling down while driving on a rainy night, and Xiao Wanqing was not at ease.

"It's okay, I have a raincoat and I won't be exposed to the rain." Lin Xian received the concern and was already very sweet.

Xia Zhijin beside him poked Lin Xian's cell phone, indicating that Lin Xian could give her cell phone to her and let her and Xiao Yunqing lose two sentences?

Lin Xian had no doubt about him, and he informed Xiao Xiaoqing that he transferred the phone to Xia Zhijin.

Then, she heard Xia Zhijin's clear voice rang in the rainy night: "Aunt Xiao, don't worry, I send envy back."

"It's okay, it's already going along. Well, well, well, I will drive slower, well, goodbye."

When Xia Zhijin finished speaking, when he returned the phone to Lin Xian, the phone had already hung up.

"Aunt Xiao handed you over to me, let's go, Lin Xiaoxian." Xia Zhijin rarely raised her tone and ridiculed her: "Envy your girlfriend is so good, you see such heavy rain, full of text messages of concern I didn't even send it to me. Hey, envy."

Lin Xian was embarrassed to trouble Xia Zhijin again. She had trouble Xia Zhijin last semester. This semester, she and Xia Zhijin both changed the tutoring office. Her current tutoring place is very close to Xiao Wanqing's family, and it is much more convenient to go to and from get out of class, so she has no more trouble with Xia Zhijin picking up.

But when she heard Xia Zhijin teasing her and Aunt Xiao's feelings, and hearing her mentioning her and full of feelings, she suddenly seemed to think of something and changed her mind.

When he got into the car, the car steadily drove on the wet road. The wipers swayed left, right, and right in front of the mirror. Lin Xian looked at them a little, and hesitated whether to ask Xia Zhijin, how to ask Xia Zhijin? She was afraid that she would accidentally poke Xia Zhijin and Shi Man with the same pain points.

Xia Zhijin noticed Lin Xian from the meeting. Lin Xian didn't seem to be active as usual, and had a preoccupied look.

She frowned, looked at Lin Xian sideways, Wen Wen cared about her and said, "Envy, what's wrong? You don't look too happy?"

Lin Xian turned his head and looked at Xia Zhijin, who was concerned. She bit her lip, after all, her concern for Xiao Wanqing overwhelmed everything. She made up her mind and asked Xia Zhijin softly, "Sister Jinjin, may I ask you a question? There may be a little offense."

Xia Zhijin heard the words and smiled generously, then returned to her: "It's okay, you ask. I know you are not malicious in any way."

"Sister Jin, did you...when you were with Manman, did you ever think about whether you broke Manchu or not? Or, you broke Manchu and let Manman take a difficult path." Should it be the word "Breaking"? Lin Xian asked cautiously.

Xia Zhijin's hand on the steering wheel paused slightly, and the next moment he suddenly raised his lips and smiled faintly. She asked Lin Xian: “Why is my belt broken and full of breaks? I have never liked girls before, and full is also my first love.” She quipped: “It may also be full of breaks. me."

She hasn't studied who between her and Shiman fell in love earlier. Like this kind of thing, it is everyone's own business. She can resist the likes of Shiman, but she is tempted. So, is it too charming to blame Shiman? Xia Zhijin never thought to feel guilty about Shiman's liking for girls, let alone responsible for making her like girls.

She read through a lot of materials when she knew she liked girls when she liked them, and she knew herself completely. She also knows that Shiman's way with herself is not easy, but she understands that the difficulty between her and Shiman is more not because of gender, but because of other things that lie between them.

Lin Xian was dumb, yes, not the same. The situation of Sister Jin and Manchu is different from that of her and Xiao Panpan.

Because before knowing herself, Xiao Panpan already knew that she was bent, so she did not have the possibility of breaking Xiao Panpan. Therefore, Xiao Panpan unilaterally thought that she had bent herself and had more Responsibility?

Xia Zhijin looked at Lin Xian's eyebrows, and if he thought about it, he probably guessed what problems Lin Xian might have with Xiao Wanqing. She pondered a little, and might be able to speculate that a gentle and considerate person with a strong sense of responsibility, like Aunt Xiao, would inevitably worry too much because of the age gap between her and Lin Xian.

Frankly speaking, if she doesn't understand Lin Xian and Xiao Wanqing, just looking at the gap between them, she will also subconsciously believe that the older Xiao Wanqing should have more responsibility for this unconformable feeling in the eyes of the public .

Age is the original sin.

But she understands Lin Xian and Xiao Wanqing. If you can look objectively without prejudice, you will find: Lin Xian is a person with her own ideas. When she likes Xiao Wanqing, she is a person with three independent views, not a child that Xiao Wanqing can induce; Xiao Wanqing When accepting Lin Xian, Lin Xian was already an adult.

The love of two adults, everything is your choice. You should be responsible for the choices you make.

Xia Zhijin rubbed the steering wheel, and suddenly interrupted Lin Xian's contemplation, asking Lin Xian, "Envy, do you think homosexuality is born or acquired? Can sexual orientation be changed?"

Lin Xian did not think about this problem. She froze for a moment and thought for a while, hesitantly said: "Born?"

In fact, she only likes Xiao Wanqing, and Xiao Wanqing has the same gender as her, so she put a curved, **** label on herself. But in fact, she didn't really think about more and deeper questions about her sexual orientation, nor did she really understand this group. She always feels that this is not a question of whether she likes boys or girls, it is just a matter of whether she likes Xiao Wanqing.

Xia Zhijin hesitated when she saw her. She gave a soothing look at Lin Xian, who seemed to understand something, and told her the answer: "Envy, maybe if you find these two questions I asked you, you can find the answer to that question in your heart."

Across the road is the residential area where Xiao Wanqing is located. Because driving past, Xia Zhijin is inconvenient to go back home, so Lin Xian let Xia Zhijin park here every time.

The rain outside almost stopped. Xia Zhijin stopped the car. Lin Xian opened the door to get off and said goodbye to Xia Zhijin at the window: "Sister Jin, be careful on the road." After a pause, she continued: "About you I will seriously study my problem."

Xia Zhijin laughed and nodded, "Well, if there is anything else you want to talk to, you can also contact me later." She rose to the window and was ready to leave in Lin Xian's watch.

The next second, she suddenly lowered the car window again, her eyes solemn and soft, reminding Lin Xiandao: "Envy, I think, since you are already walking on this road, then you should try to understand yourself better and understand yourself better What kind of path is being taken. Probably, this is also a responsible performance. Feelings are not just two people who like each other."

Sometimes Lin Xian really resembles Shi Man. Some words, the stronger they are, the more silent, the more intimate the more difficult to speak. Fear of hurting the other party, and of yourself.

But to friends, if they say two more words, they will have less conflict and more happiness. Xia Zhijin is willing to be that noisy person.

Lin Xian frowned, her eyes flickered, and after a while, she nodded solemnly.

Until Xia Zhijin's car completely disappeared into the night, Lin Xian retracted his eyes. She pursed her lips and crossed the road thoughtfully.

Just after crossing the road, and then walking towards the gate of the community, she could not wait to start searching for the answers to the questions Xia Zhijin asked her. She walked a few steps forward and saw that the search results came out, and she unconsciously stopped and looked at the answers one by one.

After reading many articles in a row, she initially understood that she was right.

Most answers show that sexual orientation is born, not acquired.

She was flipping through a text message. Xia Zhijin's. Lin Xian opened it without hesitation.

Xia Zhijin said: "Lin Xian, actually there is just a word, I personally feel that it is not objective. In my opinion, the break is actually a pseudo-proposition. There is no real straight person who can be broken, someone who can bend, explain She has this potential possibility itself. It just so happened that she now meets this so-called person who bends her or something that makes her discover this potential possibility of herself and the hidden self."

Lin Xian glanced at it on the 10th, then froze for a moment, then immediately read the word again carefully.

All of a sudden, she recalled the concerns Xiao Panpan had told her, and suddenly she felt empowered and bright.

If this is her birth, this is the way she was going to go, then what does Aunt Xiao blame?

There were wet drops of water on Lin Xian's face. It was rain and it began to fall again.

There was a smile in Lin Xian's eyes. She was ready to put away her cell phone and trot back. Suddenly, one side was clear, blocking the growing wind and rain outside her.

Xiao Yunqing stood in front of her with an umbrella and asked her with a smile: "Why did you stop suddenly and don't leave? See what is so fascinating?"

Aunt Xiao has been waiting for her inside the community door? Lin Xian gazed at Xiao Wanqing's gentle face, and her lips gradually bent.

Lin Xian did not explain why he stopped. She held out her hand and hugged Xiao Wanqing tightly, whispering with a smile: "It's you, Xiao Xiaoyun. I'm hooked."