Forced Marriage: Escaping Her Monster

"...Your husband!" he chuckled and kissed her neck making her skin crawl. "I am proving to you that I am a man... your hands... can you feel it? YOU made that happen. Not her! You... only you..."

His voice got hoarse. With a hiccup, he rested his forehead on her collarbone.

What kind of dream is this?

Jerlina, who had a deep sleep after a long time, couldn't figure out what was happening as she was still half-asleep. She tried to move her limbs, but her hands and legs were pinned making her trapped.

It took her some seconds to gather her bearings.

Her lips were slightly wet and in her hand, covered by his hand, she could feel the warm and thick thing that was slightly sticky. Her dress was pulled up and the man above her was burning like a furnace and stank of alcohol.

She was not born yesterday... She knew what is happening here.

Her heart pounded and she couldn't understand why he got like this out of nowhere. She could understand that he was drunk and was mad at her for some reason.

Or is he crying?

"TJ, What are you doing?" she struggled to get out of his hold. "Stop it!"

She couldn't even move an inch and he was resting his entire upper body weight on her making it hard for her to breathe. She felt hopeless and tears formed in her eyes as he started moving his hips. She sobbed silently.

"Let go..."

Don't r*pe me...

When she was in Peyton years back, whenever she walked alone in the night after her part-time work, she'd fear this might happen to her. TJ will be walking behind her, alone or with his groupies, and she'd be holding her life in her hands as she walked alone fearing when they will lose their rationality and attack her.

But thankfully nothing happened back then. And years later, she thought she found her utopia. It was not a land filled with gold, but a small home. Even when there was a storm raging out there, she had that little home, with a warm man by her side, where she'd be safe.

That little home got torn apart and here she is... in the clutches of the monster once again... And she doesn't even have the luck she had back then...

As if taking my baby is not enough, he is going to take me against my will? No! I won't let this happen to me!

"Stop it!" she gritted her teeth. She was willing to die in the struggle to stop him. But before she struggled, she was let go. The weight above her was released and he got up after fixing her clothes.

"Don't cry... Please don't... I'm sorry...Please don't cry..."

She heard him speak, and his voice was trembling. He held out his hand to touch her head, but she rolled to the edge of the bed. She curled to a ball hugging herself, showing her back to him.

She was relieved he got to his senses and got up. Because even if she struggled, she knew her strength would have been incomparable with his strength. And she'd have gotten hurt badly, if not dead if he persisted.

"I'm sorry, Jerlina. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you...Please, look at me..."

She couldn't stop trembling, but her tears stopped listening to his voice. She could sense pain in his voice and she thought she might be confused.

He didn't mean to hurt me? What else did he mean when he... Ugh!

"Just leave, TJ... Leave me alone, please," she spoke softly. All she wanted, for now, was for him to leave her alone. She didn't even feel like getting angry at him.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry I hurt you," he said after a long silence and she wasn't imagining the pain in his voice this time around. She felt it. She could hear him leaving the room, dragging his footsteps.

"Please, forgive me. Have rest. I swear I won't hurt you ever again."

He spoke very softly and a minute later she heard the door lock. She let out a sigh of relief and turned to look. The door was closed and no one was in her room.

She sat on the bed hugging her knees. She still couldn't get out of the shock of this bizarre incident. She looked at her trembling fingers. She sniffed her clothes, and it had his lingering scent – the scent of pine mixed with the scent of alcohol.

She got up and walked to the bathroom and took a quick shower and changed to her PJ's covering her from top to bottom. Maybe because of the stress, her bleeding got a little heavier. But it is not alarming since the doctor told her that it may last for two weeks.

She felt refreshed after she started to smell like herself once again. Hugging herself, she curled on the bed.

Maybe because of the shower and the deep sleep she had before the incident, she was calm. And her brain slowly recalled the incident.

Incident? Isn't that r@pe? Or...Is it?

He didn't try to penetrate and just used my hand.

Uck!

Oh, Jerlina! Let's not remind ourselves of that. We need our hands.

She remembered his words. He said something about her causing something to happen to him? Did he mean his er**tion? How? How did I cause that? He entered my room when he already hired a "date" and blamed me for that? Why?

Jerlina couldn't understand that, but she realized she's been too careless. After being kept by him for more than a month without him attempting anything on her of that sort, she's become too comfortable and let her guard down, forgetting that he is a man.

Guess what they say is true – All men are wolves. And they can do 'it' with anyone; even with the one, they despise.

Or...

Does he really hate me like I believe?

What made her conviction waver was not his beastly behavior, but the way he acted afterward.

Even if he was just drunk and overflowing with lust, why did he find her when there was another woman?

Even when he was excited, he held back from putting it in, although he was drunk. She wondered if it was because he considered her health.

And he was able to stop himself after she started crying. She's been with a man before. She knew stopping midway is harder than not starting when it comes to intimacy. Plus his mental capabilities are diminished by his alcohol intake and still he could control himself. And he was able to pull back even though he was very excited.

No, she was not lauding him for stopping himself from doing a despicable thing that he never should have started. But as someone who gets uncontrollable when she gets drunk, she admired his control, a little.

But most importantly, what confused her more was the way he apologized. He sounded very distressed and hurt. She could feel that he was ashamed of his behavior and regretted it.

Maybe because she thought he meant it when he apologized, she is not feeling that hurt anymore?

But forgiving him? Where should she start with that? But...

The way he stalked me, the way he is insisting he wants to protect me now, the way he tries to make my stay comfortable even though he is keeping me locked up, the way he tries to grant my wishes... trying to support me even though I don't need it, the way he got angry at that guy for me and hurt him for hurting me... he even let me be when he thinks that I hurt his sister!

He loves me, or, at least he thinks he loves me, right?

Jerlina felt like her entire world view shifting. Till now she was believing without a doubt that he hates her. But if that's not the case...

Everything is getting more complicated. I don't want him to love me! He killed my baby!

Ugh!

Or, is he pretending to be nice to me to make me fall for him? Is he trying to take one for the team to ensure his sister's happy marriage?

This makes more sense than the other possibility, right?