Fox of France

"Britain's presence in Hanover will pose a threat to the security of France." Talleyrand replied without hesitation.

"Hannover is also the sacred territory of His Majesty the King of our country." Sir Humphrey, the new British Foreign Secretary, said, "Even according to your country's legislative principles, your country should recognize that private property is sacred and inviolable. And Hannover is the territory of His Majesty the King of our country. sacrosanct private property.”

"Ah, sir, the laws of our country say that we shall protect the legitimate private property of the French people. I am sure that your Majesty the King is not a citizen of France."

"But didn't you say just now that the principles of the Declaration of Human Rights are universal, and you French people should also care about the human rights of foreigners?"

"Yes, we have such a principle, but, sir, you need to know that things must be prioritized and ordered. We first guarantee the human rights of the French, then guarantee the human rights of the Catholics on the European continent, and then guarantee the human rights of the Europeans. The human rights of other people and Catholics in other areas, and then... well, you can see that His Majesty the King of your country is pretty far down the list, at least, I think, until the basic human rights of the people of Ireland are guaranteed, we It is difficult to find time to protect the private property of His Majesty the King of your country."

"Mr. Talleyrand, may I understand your statement to mean that if we will guarantee the human rights of the people of Ireland, then your country can protect the private property of our Majesty the King, or to be more specific, that if we will Make some concessions in exchange for your country's concessions in Hannover?"

"Ah, sir, I did not say such a thing, but . . . we feel that your proposal just now has a very peaceful sincerity . . . "

In fact, neither Talleyrand nor Humphrey had any sincerity for peace. Everyone knows that this peace talk is fundamentally nothing more than a more formal armistice.

However, for different reasons, the two sides are very sincere about the need for this truce. Therefore, although everyone is not sincere in pursuing peace, everyone is very sincere in their attitude towards the temporary realization of peace, and because everyone believes that these problems in the future will eventually be resolved through war. Therefore, it is more straightforward on how to shelve the dispute. Anyway, it's okay to keep more thunder, and it's just an excuse to start a war at that time.

So everyone discussed this exchange very sincerely.

In the end, the French and the British took a step back on this issue and reached the following consensus:

Regarding the issue of Ireland, both sides believed that it should be resolved as peacefully as possible.

The British will ensure that the natural human rights of the Irish people will not be illegally violated, that the Irish people have the right to choose their own beliefs, and give the Irish a certain degree of autonomy (of course, the British insist on not making this public).

The French said they understood Britain's views on Irish sovereignty and assured that they had no intention of agitating Ireland to secede from the United Kingdom. But the traditional friendship between the people of France and Ireland, and free trade, should not be disturbed.

France assured Britain that it would not sell weapons of mass destruction to Ireland. (France: Anyway, what we sell are all civilian items, believe it or not? For example, rifles, which are used for hunting; such as grenades, which are used for frying fish; and various landmines, of course, for defending the vegetable garden turnips, to repel the aliens trying to break into the vegetable garden and eat the turnips of the people of Ireland.)

On the issue of Hanover, France expressed respect for the private property owned by the British king as the Grand Duke of Hanover, and the resulting benefits. France also respects his right to take part in political activities in Hannover. But regarding the final status of Hanover, it can only depend on the choice of the people of Hanover. In order to ensure that the people of Hanover can freely express their wishes, France cannot accept any British military presence in Hanover.

In addition, in order to ensure the safety of Hanover, at the invitation of the people of Hanover, France will maintain a limited army in Hanover.

The United Kingdom expressed its support for all legitimate rights and interests of the king in Hanover. We will try our best to promote the restoration of these legal rights in a peaceful way.

After temporarily acknowledging the status quo, Talleyrand immediately proposed a new thing.

"Okay, Sir Humphrey. I think we can finally put aside those annoying things and discuss things that can really bring benefits to all of us."

"what do you mean?"

"You see, my lord, England has blocked the coast of France all these years, preventing us from trading and making money. We, too, have recently prevented your country from obtaining raw materials and selling goods on the Continent of Europe," said Talleyrand. , "This is not a good thing. Because it prevents the people of the two countries from getting rich. So, um, as you may know, our country has signed trade agreements with many countries in Europe based on mutual opening of doors and mutual opening of markets. In order to To promote the friendship between us and Great Britain, and to make our peace more durable. I propose that an equal agreement be reached between our two countries as regards mutual trade."

Sir Humphrey is also very interested in this question. In fact, since France defeated Prussia, almost the entire European market has closed its doors to the British.

Although just like the smuggling activities that were carried out non-stop when the French were blocked, the British also kept smuggling and cooperating with those Dutch people to transport goods into Europe, and to be honest, the Rhine Union On the other side, although it has also adopted a legal blockade against the United Kingdom, it is not particularly serious about investigation and punishment. But in any case, even such a relatively loose blockade has caused considerable trouble to the British economy.

Coupled with the failure of the war and the consumption in the bottomless pit of Ireland, Britain's recent economic situation is quite unsatisfactory. It would be wonderful if the European market could be opened to the UK at this time. In fact, this was an important goal of the peace negotiations - Britain must restore its strength quickly before the next decisive war.

However, no matter how you look at this matter, it is more beneficial to Britain, but the French took the initiative to mention this, which made Sir Humphrey a little hesitant.

"Of course, free trade includes many aspects. It cannot be limited to goods." Talleyrand said again, "it should also include culture, art, and the reasonable flow of talents. For example, some friends and I were in the news There is investment in the industry. We hope that these aspects can be opened up. That is, the French can go to the UK to run newspapers, and the British can also go to the French version of the newspaper. We in France will ensure that British newspapers enjoy the same freedom of press as French newspapers, and You Brits should also guarantee our newspapers the same freedom of the press as yours..."

"Wait a minute, wait a moment..." said Sir Humphrey, "there is one point, I think there seems to be something wrong. For example, in your country, if your country stipulates, all French newspapers can only say 'Long live Napoleon ', then our newspapers can only say 'Long live Napoleon', but in Britain, you know, our newspapers can say anything except 'overthrow the king with arms', so you can say nothing but ' You can say anything but the overthrow of the king by force. Wouldn’t it be a big loss for us? Maybe we in the UK should have the same rules as your news reports first, and then..."

"How can you slander us like this?" Talleyrand said angrily, "It is true that there are many shouts of 'Long live General Napoleon' in our newspapers, but that is because our people sincerely support General Napoleon. And our The press is completely free..."

"Yes, yes, that's what I said," said Sir Humphrey.

Sure enough, as Joseph expected, the two sides fell into a dispute again on the issue of mutual opening of the news and cultural markets. The British actually understood that the French wanted to use this opportunity to export revolution to Britain, but the British also needed European markets. . And considering the British press rules, the British don't seem to be afraid of the French propaganda, isn't it just to stir up emotions-besides, do you really think that British news is really free? At home in the UK, according to the rules of the UK, how could he still lose to this group of Gaul barbarians?

Of course, the final text still needs to be taken back and waited for approval. Now that the main thing is out of the way, let's talk about something lighter. For example, discuss how to make money.

“Sir Humphrey, I have a friend from the Bordeaux area who might be the new ambassador to the UK. You know, this friend is our supporter, he has a lot of vineyards in Bordeaux, and there are some very good wines produced there. Wine—I heard that wine is a very profitable business in your country these days. Well, he is still a young man, but he is a very generous man... If possible, I hope that when he is in your country, he can get Your care."

Sir Humphrey understood what he meant. Because spending money to buy an ambassadorship, and then using the ambassadorship to do business to make money, this trick was first invented by the British. In another time and space, Citigroup still maintains this good tradition even until the 21st century. Even if you are an illiterate person who can say that the American army liberated Auschwitz concentration camp, as long as you give money, you can still buy an ambassador Dangdang.

As for the meaning of this sentence, a little translation is: a guy who sells wine gave me a lot of money and bought a position as an ambassador to the UK from me. He had paid for the position, of course to make money in business, for he had heard that French wine was very popular in England. He's a nice guy willing to pay bribes if you can help him make money.

"That's not a problem," said Sir Humphrey. "I have a friend here too, and I'll trouble you to take care of it too..."