From Flower Vase to Film Emperor in Hollywood

“Oh, oh oh, here's a brilliant one. The 'Charlotte Observer' says: Allow me to summarize my viewing experience: 'A yawn.' ”

“Fifty points!”

Anson finished reading and even opened his mouth to perform a yawn, adding to the effect.

Pfft.

Shhh.

A chorus of shushes and jeers filled the living room.

Seth Rogen's signature gravelly voice rang out above the noise, "Oh, that's too rude. At least use some adjectives in your negative review."

Haha, collective laughter.

The movie review party had begun, but things were slightly different than imagined.

Wait, didn't Century City say there were rave reviews? What's going on here?

Well, here's what happened.

Indeed, the first batch of "Spider-Man" reviews that were uploaded were positive, not just one or two, but a full five, with scores all above eighty —

For a popcorn movie, the average score from media reviews actually reached eighty points, which was undoubtedly a breakthrough, enough to make half of Century City boil over.

Coupled with the genuine, unscripted reactions from the audience at last night's premiere, everything pointed to the movie's quality exceeding expectations.

Suddenly, the atmosphere was brewing, eagerly anticipating the start of the summer blockbuster season.

Finally, after being suppressed and sluggish for more than half a year, it was time to get excited. "Spider-Man" had the potential to turn the whole situation around.

The entertainment industry is the most fickle. Some people were eager to cheer, but they never expected that five positive reviews were still too small of a sample. The reviews that followed were all mediocre.

Things took a sharp turn.

Actually, they were just mediocre reviews, not negative ones. From any perspective, there was no need to worry too much about mediocre reviews; it wasn't the end of the world.

But the problem was that the higher the expectations, the more violent the impact of the disappointment. Because "Spider-Man" carried too much pressure, and the continuous release of five positive reviews had pushed expectations to the peak, Century City completely lost its composure when mediocre reviews appeared.

Wait, could this ominous premonition be coming true?

The thing Ryan feared most had finally happened: a group of strangers sitting in a room listening to negative reviews.

Ryan felt like he could dig out a Disney castle by picking at the floor with his toes; but surprisingly, Anson had turned those reviews into a kind of jest, a kind of mockery, not only without embarrassment, but also incredibly cheerful.

Looking at Anson in front of him, he was clearly reading mediocre reviews, but his vivid performance made people laugh, and a room full of young people all joined in the heckling.

It seemed like negative reviews weren't a big deal.

It was hard to imagine that the one just now was actually a negative review with a score of fifty —

No, a mediocre review, it was a mediocre review.

“Oh, oh oh, you should hear this review from 'Time Magazine.' ”

As soon as Anson opened his mouth, everyone else started clamoring and heckling in cooperation.

“'Time', 'Time', this is a big one!”

“Quick, Anson, give us something intense.”

Anson scanned the room, revealing a smile, "Fifty points, also fifty points."

Immediately —

“Tsk, only fifty points, isn't there anything lower?”

“Are these film critics any good? Their criticism is so timid. Give us a score of twenty.”

“Come on, come on, 'Time Magazine.' ”

“We all know Anson is very handsome, everyone knows that. Sam Raimi really didn't need to keep using close-ups to tell us this.”

Period.

The whole room was silent.

James couldn't believe his ears, "That's it?"

Anson shrugged.

Tsk! Pfft! Shhh!

A chorus of shushes erupted, and some people even threw potato chips at Anson, expressing their strong dissatisfaction.

Seth said with a sad face, "Believe me, we already know that. You don't need to keep going. One narcissistic James is already too much for us to handle, okay?"

James, "Hey!"

In the midst of the noisy laughter, the devastating impact of the huge gap from positive to mediocre reviews seemed to gradually disappear.

Anson wasn't lying —

So far, the worst reviews still scored fifty points.

It felt like a scratch, not really hitting the wound; of course, another possibility was that maybe "Spider-Man" wasn't that bad, even the most critical and troublesome film critics gave it fifty points.

“Los Angeles Weekly”, fifty points, “Thanks to the terrible computer effects and the cotton candy-filled coming-of-age storyline, Peter Parker's storyline as a superhero is undoubtedly mediocre and boring. He seems more concerned about a girl changing her dress than superpowers and the destruction of the Earth.”

Innovation often requires bearing pressure.

When Sam Raimi chose to open the story of Peter Parker in the form of a teenage coming-of-age story, it was destined that some people would not like it —

After all, some viewers enter the cinema wanting to see heroes uphold justice and punish evil, not a youthful campus romance.

So, "Los Angeles Weekly" went all out.

“San Francisco Chronicle”, fifty points, “Perhaps the real problem lies in how to update the 'Spider-Man' story and keep up with the times. The original comic was born in 1962, creating a special superhero that made people realize that other possibilities existed in the world of comics; but Raimi has not found the right way to bring the story to the present, forty years later. For audiences born after the seventies, this story is too old, too outdated, and even a bit cumbersome.”

Accurate, sharp, and merciless.

So, is that all?

No negative reviews?

Not mediocre reviews of fifty points, but truly insightful negative reviews?

The answer is... no.

After five positive reviews, a string of ten mediocre reviews followed, instantly wiping out the positive reviews. A string of mediocre reviews was indeed a bit shocking:

After all, the final average score of "Digital Murders" also landed in the mediocre review range. Although it didn't really fall into the negative review range, it still plunged the movie into a loss.

If "Spider-Man" wants to break the situation and reverse the sluggishness of the summer season, a wave of mediocre reviews from the media is not enough, far from enough.

No negative reviews are worth celebrating; but a chart full of mediocre reviews is worrying.

“Next, 'The New Yorker.' ”

Anson dropped a bombshell.

Sure enough, everyone was chattering and creating an atmosphere. Compared with other media, "The New Yorker" has always prided itself on its independent temperament and literary cultivation. They have a strong influence among intellectuals and the middle class.

But thinking about it, it's not surprising that "The New Yorker" doesn't like popcorn movies.

“Fifty points.”

Everyone shook their heads, and Annie even shouted, "I'm very disappointed in you, 'The New Yorker'. You can do better. The criticism can be more intense."

Amidst applause and whistles, Anson finally revealed the answer.

“The movie is as timid as a spider, cautiously trying to take a step but ultimately just hiding in the corner, foolishly stiff and unmoving, fearing that leaving the corner might... I don't know... be exposed to the sunlight? Ugh.”