god level spoof

() After the Stone Monkey was born, he got together with the other monkeys and began to know things in the world, and then he understood the principles of all things.

On a scorching summer day, this stone monkey and a group of monkeys were summering in the mountains and accidentally discovered a waterfall flowing down from the top of the mountain.

The monkeys said: "Whoever can get through this waterfall to see what's going on, we will worship him as the king."

The stone monkey volunteered, got into the waterfall, and found that it turned out to be a spacious and quiet stone cave. On the stone tablets was engraved "The blessed land of Huaguo Mountain, the water curtain cave and the sky". The monkeys worshiped the stone monkey as their king and called him a beautiful monkey.

king.

Many years later, in order to live forever, the Monkey King left Huaguo Mountain to visit immortals and thieves.

After wandering on the sea for several days, he arrived at the border of Nanfangbuzhou. He visited the Immortal Way, but had no chance to meet him. Eight or nine years passed like this...

One day, he thought that there must be gods overseas, so he drifted across the West Sea alone to the border of Niuhezhou in the west. Under the guidance of a woodcutter, he came to Xieyue Sanxing Cave in Fangcun Mountain, Lingtai. Patriarch Subhuti accepted him as his disciple and gave him the gift of immortality.

Named Sun Wukong.

Patriarch Subhuti believed that he had the spiritual power to teach monkeys seventy-two transformations and a somersault cloud that could cover hundreds of thousands of miles.

After learning kung fu, the monkey returned to the Huaguo Mountain. In order to train the monkeys, the monkey used magic to take the weapons of the Aolai Kingdom to the Huaguo Mountain. All the monsters and beasts in the mountain worshiped at the monkey's feet.

Later, the monkey went to the Dragon Palace in the East China Sea to borrow treasures, and obtained the sacred iron at the bottom of the Tianhe River, a Ruyi golden cudgel weighing 13,500 kilograms.

Soon, the monkeys made a big fuss in the underworld again and erased all the monkeys' names in the Book of Life and Death.

So, the Dragon King of the East China Sea and the King of Hell petitioned the Jade Emperor to subdue the monster monkey.

The Jade Emperor adopted Taibai Jinxing's suggestion and summoned a monkey to the Heavenly Palace to become Bi Mawen, who was responsible for raising horses.

At that time, the Monkey King was very happy and went to take office with Mu De Xingguan.

Afterwards, the monkey found out that this was a low-ranking official position. Knowing that he had been fooled, he angrily returned to the Water Curtain Cave in Huaguo Mountain and set up the banner of "Monkey King".

The Jade Emperor ordered King Li Tian and Prince Nezha to lead the heavenly soldiers and heavenly warriors to catch the monkeys, but they were defeated by the monkeys. The Jade Emperor had no choice but to recognize the title of "Monkey King" and ordered the monkeys to go to the heavenly palace to manage the peach garden.

.

In the flat peach garden, the monkey heard that flat peaches are fairy peaches that ripen once every six thousand years. If you eat them, you will be healthy and live forever.

So the monkey secretly ate all the big peaches in the garden.

Soon after, the monkey learned that the Queen Mother was going to hold a peach party, but she didn't invite him, and he felt very angry.

On the day of the Peach Fair, he deceived the Barefoot Immortal and pretended to be the Barefoot Immortal. He went into the meeting place and drank all the fairy wine for the banquet. He also broke into Taishang Laojun's alchemy room and ate all the gold in the gourd.

Dan, then returned to Shuiliandong.

The Jade Emperor hated the monkeys for disrupting the Peach Fair, and ordered the four heavenly kings, King Tota Li and Prince Nezha to catch the monkeys. The 100,000 heavenly soldiers were defeated by the monkeys. The Jade Emperor also sent the god Erlang to fight the monkeys.

After many battles, when Erlang Shen was fighting with the monkey, Taishang Laojun dropped the diamond ring and hit the monkey, and then he was captured.

The Jade Emperor issued a decree to execute the monkey, but because the monkey had eaten Taishang Laojun's elixir, he was chopped with knives and axes, struck by thunder and fire, and was not injured.

Seeing this, Taishang Laojun reported to the Jade Emperor: "This monkey has eaten my elixir. Why don't you let me take it and put it in the Bagua furnace and use civil and military fire to refine it. It can not only refine the elixir, but also cure it."

Turned into ashes.”

The Jade Emperor agreed, so Taishang Laojun put the monkey into the Bagua furnace. After 49 days of burning, Taishang Laojun thought the monkey was dead. Unexpectedly, the monkey was not only alive, but also developed a pair of fiery eyes.

The monkey jumped out of the alchemy furnace, swung the golden cudgel without distinguishing between top and bottom, and attacked enemies in the east and west. No one could stop him. He only hit the Tongming Hall and outside the Lingxiao Hall, causing chaos in the Heavenly Palace. The Jade Emperor was helpless and asked for help from the Tathagata of the West.

The monkey said to Tathagata: "If the Jade Emperor does not give me the Heavenly Palace, he will never have peace!"

But in the end, the monkey was no match for the boundless Buddha Dharma, and it was unable to get out of the Buddha's palm despite somersaults. The Tathagata pressed the monkey under the Five Elements Mountain, where he was forced to eat iron pills when hungry and drink copper juice when thirsty. The monkey was sentenced to 500 years in prison.

…

Three hundred years have passed since the birth of the monkey until the monkey was suppressed at the foot of the Five Elements Mountain. Three hundred years have passed since Li Ye was suppressed by the red gold brick.

This is an extremely long period of time. In the past three hundred years, there have been great changes in the primitive land of chaos:

Every ten years, a Chaos Demon God dies.

Thirty of them have died in the past three hundred years, and now, only the last Chaos Demon God is left here.

This is a big tree, rooted in the deepest part of the primitive land of chaos. It is also the only plant in the Chaos Demon God. It is not lush and leafy, but withered and decayed, but its vitality is extremely tenacious.

The blood mist that swallowed up thirty Chaos Demon Gods remained unchanged, but the nine fragments of Chaos Blue Lotus seeds revealed endless vitality and radiated brilliance like unparalleled treasures.

This blood mist no longer swallowed the big tree, but turned into a gray egg. Nine chaotic green lotus seeds were inlaid on the egg shell, and strange talismans and Dao patterns were imprinted on it.

The gray eggshell surface.

The gray eggs expanded crazily in the following days, as if they had taken a growth agent:

From one meter in diameter to one thousand meters in diameter very quickly!

One day later, this gray egg was thousands of miles in diameter!

But this gray egg still has no tendency to stop growing, and is expanding crazily with geometric multiples.

A month later, the gray egg had a diameter of 100 million miles, and it was constantly devouring the black soil, seeming to be absorbing nutrients.

There are various strange Tao patterns on the surface of the eggshell, which have no beginning or end, are mysterious and mysterious, and reveal the aura of the supreme Tao.

The lotus seed fragments of the nine chaotic green lotuses have also become more and more dazzling, revealing infinite vitality and aura, as if they are about to sprout - but the lotus seeds have been broken into pieces and turned into nine parts. I don't know when they can be restored again?

A year passed, and this gray egg swallowed up the last Chaos Demon God, which was also the big tree, and its diameter reached an astonishing trillions of miles.

This dome exudes powerful life force, as if a giant is gestating in it. The loud sound of 'dong, dong, dong' is like thunder, like a divine drum, and it is like the feeling of heart beating.

"W-where is this, am I not dead yet?"

In the mess, a certain consciousness emitted weak fluctuations... It seemed to be coming from the dome.

…

Thirty-third heaven, Lingxiao Palace.

The Jade Emperor, who was sitting high, had an inexplicable look in his eyes.

"Three hundred years ago, that man caused havoc in the Heavenly Palace, but there was no news after that. Unexpectedly, three hundred years later, there was another monkey causing havoc in the Heavenly Palace..."

Looking at the immortals His Highness, the Jade Emperor sighed in his heart:

Think about how powerful our heaven was three hundred years ago, with dozens of great emperors and hundreds of great immortals. Nowadays, it is just some minor gods and immortals.

Heaven is in decline, and not even a little monkey can subdue it.

The Jade Emperor showed unwillingness: "Even 90% of my strength has been sealed, and it has not been unlocked yet. That person must still be alive... Damn it, in order to subdue a little monkey, I have to invite Tathagata.

It’s so fucking embarrassing…”