harry potter book of crimes

Sarah once said that she was a defective product.

From the moment she was born into this world, she has been without any emotions. She is a incomplete thing that looks like life but is not life.

Yes, in fact it can be said that she is just an "item" that is lucky enough to have self-awareness, nothing more.

Maka didn't know how Sarah had viewed the world over the years. But from being unfamiliar at the beginning to becoming familiar later, it shouldn't be much different from a child growing up.

At least, that's how it should be on a spiritual level.

But it's hard to imagine how she views herself...

"etc!"

When Maka drew the energy of the Bewitching Monument back into the gem and cut off his magic supply to the rune array, he suddenly thought of a question and couldn't help but ask it.

"Speaking of which, why do you want to obtain emotions?" He said with some confusion, "If you have emotions yourself, but they are hidden for some reason, I can understand it a little bit, but

…”

"Reason?"

Sarah stood in the formation, thinking silently for a moment, then shook her head.

"I don't know, I just feel... I want to have emotions," she said in confusion, "That's what I lack. Isn't it... normal to want to get something I don't have?"

"It's normal?" Maka looked at her and repeated the word.

"Isn't it?" Sarah stroked her cheek and said softly, "For example, when I think back to Phillips, I should be sad...but, I don't even understand what sadness is.

Even after watching other people cry, I still don’t understand what it should feel like.”

As she spoke, she felt as if she felt the slap on the side of her face from Phillips again. The subtle touch made her unforgettable in her life.

"In this case, I would really like to experience it - even if it's just for a moment."

However, at this moment, Maka's finger immediately pointed at Sarah.

"Yes, that's it!" He frowned and said, "I just mentioned it, right? Emotion is the appearance of desire, and your desire for emotion itself, isn't this kind of thought a kind of desire?"

After pointing out this key point, Maka continued while recalling: "You know, there was a time when I lost my emotions. At that time, my thinking mode changed a lot...

To be honest, if I had never had emotions, I might not even know what to do at that time!"

Thinking about it now, that feeling is still terrible.

But Maka clearly remembered that he was not even aware of fear at that time. There was only a sense of disobedience secretly driving him, and he discovered through self-analysis that that state was most likely bad.

Therefore, after understanding the current situation, he began to imitate his past self as much as possible, and found a reason for himself to move on.

Otherwise, it would be difficult for him to imagine what he would be like now.

Having said this, he looked at Sarah again.

"And you," he analyzed, "you have no past as a reference from the beginning, so how do you find the motivation to move forward in this world?"

"Let alone wanting to gain emotions." - Maka didn't say this, but the meaning he wanted to express had already been conveyed to Sarah.

"Forward momentum……"

Sarah was thinking hard with a very puzzled expression, and Maka could see that it was quite difficult for her to understand these things that were very close to the root of the problem.

In fact, if it were a normal person, it would be difficult to find an answer to this dialectical discussion.

But for Sarah, this is a key point - if she can figure it out, then she may be a big step closer to the "emotion" she needs.

From Maka's point of view, he actually wanted to help Sarah. Because now, Sarah's gains are completely linked to his research on the soul and the Bewitched Monument.

Unfortunately, there was very little he could do to help in this step.

"Oh, Sarah," Maka seemed to suddenly think of something while the other party was silently thinking, "I have another question to ask you... Maybe this question will be easier to answer than the previous one."

"What?" Sarah raised her eyelids slightly.

"I want to know how you understand your own existence?" Maka asked, "Just like I know that I am a 'human being'... This answer may not be accurate, but it is my understanding of myself.

cognition.”

"Me?" Sarah thought for a while and said, "I have thought about this question many times before. I think... I should be regarded as an 'item'... right?"

Obviously, she is still very unsure about her answer, but it's no wonder.

"Really?" Maka nodded, "Then look at this -"

As he spoke, he took out a heavy book and threw it at his feet. Then, as he waved his staff, the book immediately expanded.

It can be seen that under Maka's control, the shape of the book changes rapidly. In just the blink of an eye, it transforms from a book into a colorful irregular substance, and its outline is constantly refined.

Soon, in the open space between the two of them, a girl who was almost indistinguishable from Sarah appeared.

"Look at her," Maka said, "do you think there is any difference between you and her besides our understanding of ourselves?"

This is actually like ordinary people analyzing themselves in front of a mirror, but the sense of reality created by people like Maka with the help of transformation is incomparable to looking in the mirror.

In the Defense Against the Dark Arts class, Sarah had experienced a similar situation during Snape's Boggart training course. But now, with a purposeful self-examination, the effect is definitely

Much more significant.

When Sarah was attracted by the girl who looked exactly like him, Maka was also carefully observing all her changes, and this might be a good time for him to find a breakthrough.

However, if he could know what happened to Sarah when she faced the Boggart, maybe there would be no need to make it so troublesome...

"No……"

Just for a moment, Sarah seemed to feel something incomprehensible and subconsciously took a half step back.

"I...I don't understand," she took a deep breath, and then took another half step back, as if she wanted to stay away from the thing that looked very similar to herself. "I feel...very uncomfortable, and I don't want to see her."

,can you get her away?"

"Is that really the case?"

While Maka nodded secretly, she waved her staff again and turned the "doll" that looked very similar to Sarah back into a book.

In fact, when he saw Sarah's performance, he understood that Sarah did not really seem to have no emotions. Because when she saw someone who seemed to be the same as herself, she would be moved by the subtle differences between the other person and herself.

Feel strange.

And that strange feeling is undoubtedly a touch of fear.

"Sarah," after thinking about it for a while, Maka couldn't help but smile, "I have to congratulate you first. It turns out that although the experiment failed, my guess seems to be wrong... Well, or

To say that, at least, is not quite complete."

He paused and then continued: "You may not lack emotion, but... your emotional changes are too weak compared to ordinary people."

"I have emotions?"

Sarah blinked her eyes, then lowered her eyes and looked at her hands, as if she was looking for a sense of reality. On Maka's side, seeing that she seemed confused and a little relieved, she felt a little more at ease.

comfort.

After coming to this conclusion, Maka herself was actually a little disappointed.

Because he originally thought that if Sarah really had no emotions, he might be able to take this opportunity to ask Sarah to confirm another conjecture for him.

And that guess involves the source of the power of the Monument of Bewilderment.

That's right, he has decided to accept Rowena Ravenclaw's next test.

However, if his conjecture is confirmed, then it will not be him who truly controls the Bewitched Monument—but Sarah in front of him.

As for Maka himself, he will try to become the only person who can control Sarah just like he tried to control the alienated Acromantula.

If Sarah could live peacefully without doing what he asked for after gaining emotions, then he would not interfere with anything about Sarah. If not, he would assume his share of responsibilities.

However, even Maka did not think beforehand that Sarah actually had emotions normally.

However, her emotions are very weak.

"...Does this mean that the Ravenclaw test has to be put on hold?" Thinking of this, Maka, who was already somewhat hesitant about the matter, couldn't help but shake her head, "That's fine..."

"Professor Maclean?"

Seeing that Maka seemed to be thinking about something, Sarah waited for a short while and suddenly called him.

"Oh," Maka immediately regained her composure and continued, "Anyway, that's all for today's attempt... In fact, we have gained a lot, haven't we?"

Through the little realization just now, Sarah has also felt some very subtle doubts. With Maka's reminder, she summarized those doubts and made herself realize - that maybe it really is an emotion that only belongs to her.

trace.

"Yes," Sarah nodded and said, "Thank you, Professor MacLean."

When Maka heard this, he didn't say any polite words like "You're welcome". Although his gains were far less than he expected, that didn't mean there was nothing at all.

But……

"The Monument of Bewitchment... Do you really want me to do it myself?"