I'm Liu Lulu.
I grew up in an unfavorable family.
No one in the family cared about me, my father liked my younger brother, my mother liked my older sister, and I was caught in the middle, the most vulnerable to being ignored.
The new clothes every year are the clothes left by my sister, and the game console will never have my share.
Obviously my family is not poor, but I just can't receive any care.
Watching them love each other every day, I always feel that I am the extra person in the family.
I would love to escape from there, but there is nothing I can do right now.
At the age of 18, I was admitted to university and left this home smoothly.
I deliberately chose a university that was far away from home, and planned to stay and work there after graduation.
I don't know what they are carnival about. The eldest sister got a second degree, and they treat guests with a lot of money, with proud faces.
The younger brother also started the college entrance examination in my sophomore year, and finally passed the double non-one exam.
Now they couldn't hide the pride on their faces, and they wished the whole world knew that their precious son was admitted to a university.
I just feel that fate is unfair. Why do I get into 985 but no one cares about it?
Not only did I not get compliments from my parents, nor blessings from my brothers and sisters, but I even heard from them, "Lulu, from now on, you need to take care of your older sister and younger brother."
I sneered at that time, completely heartbroken.
But what I didn't expect was that there were even more terrible things waiting for me behind.
After all, the face of the parents was exposed in front of my eyes, and they finally couldn't hide it.
Since my sophomore year, my family has never given me any living expenses and tuition fees.
When I called back, they said, "Lulu, the family really has no money. Mom knows that you are a capable person. Regarding tuition fees, you can figure out what to do by yourself."
Although this family has never been a rich family, some small money is still there.
A few days ago, I saw my younger brother showing off his new shoes in the circle of friends. I checked and found that pair of shoes was worth 5,000 yuan.
Just when I was at a loss for the future, my roommate saw the recruitment of beauty bloggers.
They also have a certain understanding of my situation, so they persuaded me to try it.
With my hard work and the help of my roommates, I became a beauty blogger.
At the beginning, the fame was very small, and there was little exposure.
But I have always paid attention to the quality of the work and the handling of details. During this process, Xiaoqing served as my photographer.
She was also the first roommate to persuade me to try it.
The two of us worked together and ended up with some fame.
At the beginning, sponsors asked me to recommend products. I always remembered Xiaoqing's advice, so I carefully selected and returned all the products that were not of acceptable quality.
Gradually, my fans all know that I only recommend high-quality products, so I spread it to ten, ten to hundreds, and my reputation is getting bigger and bigger.
Just when the future was bright, my mother called, and she criticized wildly when she came up, "Lulu, don't be a bad person outside."
"Did you become a blogger? That's not a good job. Listen to your mother and quit it."
I just felt sad and hung up the phone on the spot.
A few days later, my eldest sister also called, why don't they usually call?
Instead of criticizing me like my mom did, she wanted to join me.
What, is mommy's sweet baby starting to betray her?
She said that she saw the potential of this industry, but she didn't know how to enter the industry, and if she wanted to enter the industry, she was just an unknown little guy at the beginning. As a sister, she asked me to give her a hand.
She needs me to give her a hand, why didn't she see them come to me?
Why didn't they come to help me when I had no tuition fees?
I resolutely rejected her request, and immediately cursed on the other side of the phone, nothing more than those shameless words just like my mother.
Laugh to death, why didn't you say these words when you begged me just now?
What's more, my younger brother started to ask me for money. He felt that I made a lot of money and should share it with him.
He also said that it is only natural to buy things with his brother.
I got angry on the spot and hung up the phone.
These people took turns to call me in different ways every day, and my life was seriously disturbed.
Under Xiaoqing's suggestion, I blocked these people, but they tried to use other people's mobile phones to call me.
Eventually I got a new number.
Fortunately, the school is big enough and the security is very strict. It was a long time later that I heard that they had found my school.
After some investigation, the school blocked them out and didn't let them in, in order to give me a safe learning environment.
It's just that the counselor came to me several times later when I was about to graduate.
He talked with me a lot about my parents, and said that some things can’t be solved by avoiding them. Now the school can help me block them, but after that, I can only rely on myself.
My hukou was moved out when I was in college. I thought at the time, as long as they can't find me, what can they do to me?
However, reality taught me a lesson.
They began to spread black material about me on the Internet, saying that I was heartless, ungrateful, and that after I made money, I would ignore my family and only care about myself.
That period was the darkest moment in my life.
Even after it was clarified later, fans ran a lot.
After my vitality was seriously injured, I continued to settle down and pay attention to the quality of my works.
The fans who understand me have stayed, and their combat effectiveness is very strong.
There are also those who comment on me every day, thinking that I don't know good and bad, so how can parents harm their children.
I ignored all of those.
This year, Xiaoqing heard about a variety show from nowhere, and persuaded me to participate, thinking that if I appeared on the show, I would attract fans, expand my reputation, and bring a suitable partner along the way.
Xiaoqing has always been very kind to me. At her suggestion, I joined this program.
And because of appearance, education, fame and other reasons, he successfully ran for this show.
On this show, I met many guests with superior looks and decent jobs.
My heart skipped a beat uncontrollably.
But I seem to have returned to that home.
Here, I am not favored by anyone.
For a moment, I fell into an ice cellar.
I began to become less like myself. I don't know when, my heart is always full of resentment.
Obviously from the beginning, I also wanted to get along with everyone in harmony.
In the middle of the night, I always wake up a little bit and start to regret my actions during the day.
I don't justify my jealousy, because I have never harmed anyone. Isn't it enviable?
My life in the past 20 years was born of jealousy, but it also made me who I am today.
I don't think jealousy is a bad thing, it just makes me more motivated to get everything I want.
At some point, things got out of hand.
I can't hide my jealousy more and more.
One day I watched wisps of black air emerge from my body, and in a blink of an eye it turned into a sharp blade and attacked others.
Is all this a dream?
I tried to wake up, but found that I was always awake.
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