Hermione, Be the Minister of Magic with Me!

After the "conflict with the Dementors", the residents of Hogsmeade will naturally feel that Lockhart is on their side, but at the same time, because there is no real conflict, there is no real conflict between him and the Ministry of Magic. There is no tearing of the face - the essence of two-facedness is considered to be played by Lockhart.

As for that explosion... Blake was sure: the Dementors would just be indifferent to it, because they didn't care, unless Lockhart destroyed the roof and exposed them to the nasty sunlight.

Anyway, it is human beings who destroy their own things, what does it have to do with them?

So the **** dog just froze for a moment and then lay down on the ground again.

Start taking a nap.

It's not good to disturb his recuperation because of such a boring thing. He has to quickly adjust his body and adjust it to the best state, because Hogwarts is about to start school.

Lockhart was alone for a while after the affair, because he had just stumbled across some news during the negotiation that might help him solve a problem that had been bothering him for a long time.

That's how Umbridge got the Dementors to do her bidding.

First of all, Dementors have no vision - something Lockhart has known for a long time.

It is precisely because their senses are completely dependent on smell and the perception of biological emotions and physical states that Barty Crouch can complete the Li Dai peach deadlock between his wife and son under their noses.

And Lockhart took advantage of this - just after "smell" Lockhart twice, the Dementors lost interest in him.

Because Lockhart's emotions were too stable and too boring.

Generally speaking, as long as a dementor **** a person's happiness, all that's left is negativity.

And Lockhart has neither the joy they hate nor the despair they love. In terms of food, he is a piece of paraffin that has no taste at all.

Although they also have no language, fortunately, Lockhart can communicate with them mentally, so there is no obstacle to communication.

And so, Lockhart negotiated with them while wreaking havoc in the station, in front of the Dementors.

There were a full 30 dementors present, but none of them made any comments on Lockhart's sabotage, as if he was just eating melon seeds. Two dementors even watched with interest. Lockhart's behavior, seems curious

But that doesn't mean the dementors will be talkative - in Lockhart

When he asked them to avoid crowded places as much as possible, he was rejected by the leader of the Dementor squad.

"Wizards... order... work... must... reward." The Dementor was very tough. "Capture the criminal... enjoy the pain..."

Lockhart said in his heart that this was the case—the Dementor and the Ministry of Magic did not have a subordinate relationship at all. From the Dementor's point of view, they were just making deals with wizards for food.

To make matters worse, the wizards have inadvertently nurtured the appetites of the dementors in the hundreds of years that Azkaban has been in existence.

When they were originally on Azkaban, except for the occasional Muggle who accidentally fell into the water, the rest of the time they had no chance to enjoy the delicious despair, pain, and human soul.

But things started to change in the early 18th century when the funding-struck Ministry of Magic decided to use "off-the-shelf" Azkaban as a wizarding prison.

The wizards got free guards and a frightening prison, but the dementors also got enough "food", which made the dementors yearn for the "outside world".

Especially after more than 100 years of stability, the Ministry of Magic has forgotten the horror of Exeter, and began to think that dementors are "very obedient" creatures, dementors have received more attention. much freedom.

There is no reason for it, but I can only blame this group of dementors for being so easy to use, cheap and abundant, and you will want to use them too.

So the Ministry of Magic began to use "free" creatures such as Dementors as guards, to perform various official duties, and even to act as executioners, letting them kiss some heinous people and **** their souls.

At this point, the nature of the whole thing has completely changed - the Dementors have come to believe that the Ministry of Magic cannot function without them, and that they are one of the main culprits that limit their inability to indulge in delicious food. Allowing them to "delicious" is no longer a charity, but a "delicious (Ministry of Magic preventing themselves from getting more "delicious"

The wizards at the Ministry of Magic must not have heard the saying, "Free is the most expensive", Lockhart said with emotion.

During the negotiation, he tried to use orders, rules, deals and other tricks to get the Dementor to obey his orders, but all failed in the end. They have taken the promise of the Ministry of Magic as the "bottom line" of human wizards, and this bottom line - once confirmed, absolutely cannot be changed.

In desperation, Lockhart had to use the last resort - "appeal to authority" to threaten the dementors, and even brought up Umbridge, wanting to borrow Umbridge's authority over the dementors to deal with the problem.

But what he didn't expect was the excitement of the Dementors when Umbridge was mentioned.

\"Umbridge...a charismatic leader," said the dementors like daggers.

Lockhart couldn't figure out how the words "Umbridge" and "charm" were related, but that didn't prevent him from making further conjectures about the nature of the Dementor.

In college classes, professors who specialize in leadership management once told them that in nature, there are usually several patterns in the selection of leaders by wild animals in groups, and studying them can provide a deeper understanding of human politics.

The first is the "violent type", that is, the leader ascends to power through violence, and the leader of the ethnic group must be the one who can fight the most. This kind of leader usually appears in races with natural enemies and harsh living environments, such as lions and wild horses.

The second is "experienced", that is, the leader is the most knowledgeable in the group

that. For example, this is the case with elephants. Usually the eldest female elephant will become the leader, because the elephant group usually has no natural enemies. Their biggest enemy is hunger. They need to keep migrating to find food to eat. The most experienced female elephants can Find places with more food through memory and smell.

The third type is "reproductive", that is, the one who holds the reproductive power of the group will become the leader, such as bees, such as hyenas, who are the most fertile in the group to act as the queen.

The last one is \"charismatic social style\" J is the most charismatic and contagious individual in the group to act as the leader. For example, some groups of chimpanzees that are not lacking in food: there is also a kind of fish called \"spindle fish\".

The stickleback usually chooses the most colorful and beautiful one in the group as the leader. In some cases, chimpanzees will "elect" the "social orangutan" who usually grooms and finds food for everyone as the leader.

As for humans...these four different types of leaders have all appeared in history. For example, the violent military leaders, the reproductive matriarchal society, the most experienced and capable great leaders, and the "charismatic social types" elected by the people like Chuan Jianguo and Johnson who play clowns for everyone to have fun

Umbridge obviously has no violent threat to the dementors, and it is unlikely that he will rely on his experience to find much food for the dementors, and it is even less likely to help the dementors reproduce, so the rest will only be "charismatic" T

Sure enough, the Dementor confirmed Lockhart's conjecture.

If Umbridge is regarded as the "charismatic leader" of the Dementors, many problems can be solved.

Dementors are, by their very nature, symbols of negative emotions—a point acknowledged by Master Rowling herself. Because she has never actually seen a dementor, when she writes about her feelings about facing a dementor, she uses her own feelings during her depression.

Using the Patronus requires a person's happy emotions, and Slytherin's locket stimulates people's negative emotions and terrible imaginations, which are inherently incompatible.

But the fact that Umbridge can wear the locket and use the Patronus Charm can only show one point—that she can find satisfaction and joy in negative emotions.

Humans usually call this kind of person a pervert, but Dementors seem to like such a person, because she enjoys the happiness brought by negative emotions all the time, which coincides with the values ​​of Dementors.

To be honest, such "talents" are actually quite rare. Even if you look for them deliberately, you will hardly find such a wonderful person among 10,000 people. With the population base of the wizarding world, I am afraid that there is only one person in the UK.

According to Lockhart, Umbridge returned to the Ministry of Magic after more than a month of "vacation", and was demoted from the position of Deputy Minister of Magic, transferred to the Office of the Prohibition of Abuse of Magic, and Minister Fudge's nephew Rufus Fudge worked together.

If this can be put to good use, maybe... Lockhart has another crazy idea

Chapter 174 Attack on the Train

While it's always a pleasure to have new neighbors, the "neighbors" of Dementors are obviously not included, and the villagers of Hogsmeade are very disgusted with them.

And what this disgust brings is that almost no one is willing to go to the lake to fetch water

If the villagers want to go to the lake to fetch water, they must first cross the railway and cross the road in the middle of the small forest before they can reach the lake smoothly.

But because the dementors like to go out at night, they hide in the waiting room of the station during the day to avoid the sun in the sky, and the residents will inevitably pass by the station if they want to cross the railway.

You know with your toes, the Dementors will never let go of this delicious food delivered to your door.

In this case, Lockhart's water project really came in handy.

He dug a fountain opposite the Owl Post Office and beside the Honey Duke, and introduced the water from the lake into the center of the village, so that the villagers could go to the fountain to fetch water every day.

In terms of the selection of fountain sculptures, he wanted to find a ready-made mold directly from the Muggles, but after looking around, he found that most of the Muggle sculptures were related to Christian religious themes, and the wizarding world could not get them. to the point inside.

But if you follow the Weasley brothers and put a statue of a child vomiting in the store, it will be too disgusting. In the same way, the bronze statue of a child in Brussels is also not desirable. He believes that as a person with the ability to appreciate elegant art, he must not engage in those perverted things.

This fountain sculpture was paid for by Lockhart himself. The purpose of his donation of the sculpture was to cultivate the sentiments of the wizards. How could he be sloppy?

Therefore, he finally chose Canova's "Three Goddesses of Beauty" as the fountain statue, and the water of the fountain slowly flows from the hidden parts of the three goddesses, and finally flows into the fountain pool.

—This is art, and even wizards can understand the fun in it, Lockhart thought with satisfaction.

Even if the inhabitants of Hogsmeade don't have enough taste in art appreciation, as long as they don't want to stick with the Dementors, they can only come to tap the fountain.

But when Lockhart walked by the fountain and admired the art all morning, he found that few people came to fetch water.

"Don't wait, fool!" Aberforth Dumbledore reminded Lockhart mockingly when he came to fetch the water, "They've all got water pipes in the house, and Mr. Deves and Mr. Bans's Business, 20 Gallons per pipeline, no bullying.”

Lockhart was stunned for a moment, and then became furious: "Those two guys actually use public equipment for private use! What should I do if the water pressure in the fountain is insufficient when clear water is needed to fight the fire?"

You must know that the ancient Greeks and Romans chose to install fountains in settlements not only for the sake of beauty and for the living of residents, but also to take on the responsibility of first-aid water in case of house fires.

"In the event of a fire, of course, you need to hire a volunteer fire brigade who can spray water jets. Anyway, the village is not big, so it will be there in a blink of an eye." Aberforth said naturally.

Lockhart was at a loss for words.

"Then why did you fetch the water yourself?" he asked back.

Aberforth held up the bucket he brought with a curse: "Because I'm a pig's head bar, any change in the interior furnishings will cause dissatisfaction among my customers."

Lockhart frustrated by failure to show his love of art to his future voters

After thinking about it, he decided to change the way to influence the literary and artistic fashion of the wizarding world, and at least try to make it a tradition before the Triwizard Tournament is held. And it will also become Lockhart's second "achievement" after the water diversion project

Of course, this also needs to be done through his brother-in-law.

It's just that he just sent off his owl when two people came outside.

"Lockhart!" shouted the man outside, "Here comes the Hogwarts train!

"I see." Lockhart didn't realize what happened, so he responded casually, "What? They have a lot of new students this year, aren't there enough small wooden boats?

"Don't worry about the little wooden boat! The dementors have already boarded the car regardless of our obstruction!" the man shouted in exasperation.

"Get in the car?"

Lockhart remembered what had happened after a shudder.

Oops, it seems necessary to appease the teachers and students at Hogwarts later.

Even if this decision is made by other departments of the Ministry of Magic from beginning to end, the common people will not care about you, they will only know that the "Ministry of Magic" failed to control the Dementors.

"Oops... The freshmen at Hogwarts don't know magic yet! It's probably difficult for third-year students. I remember that the Patronus Charm was taught only in sixth grade." Lockhart "talked to himself".

The **** dog who was fiddling with the tip of his tail boredly sat up abruptly after Lockhart's "reminder".

Since the station is not inside Hogwarts and not far from the Screaming Shack, so

Lockhart chose to Apparate directly.

When he arrived at the scene, he found that the situation had been calmed down.

The white mist that emerged from the depths of the carriage dispelled all the dementors surrounding the train, and judging from the trajectory of the white mist, someone should be casting a spell along the interior of the carriage.

The Dementor avoided the Hogwarts Express like ordinary people avoided poison gas, and with a shrill whistle, fled back to the station again.

Without a word, Lockhart entered the station after activating Occlumency.

"I don't recall that the Ministry of Magic gave you the right to enter the train!" he shouted to the dementors inside.

The dementor's little leader quickly responded: "Search...everything...everything that enters Hogwarts must..."

Clearly7 they are deliberately misinterpreting the Ministry of Magic's order.

The Ministry of Magic ordered them to search all persons or vehicles entering Hogwarts, an order understood by the Dementors as their right to "eat" anyone who wanted to enter Hogwarts.

Lockhart found that, like all official organizations that were dying and Fela, there was a disconnect between the high-ranking wizards at the top of the Ministry of Magic and the grassroots.

They believe that they control everything, and their power can make all creatures obey the control, but in fact, whether it is for the real power holders - those pure blood families - or for the grassroots, they have lost the ability to bind.

Dementors dare to go against the grain, pure blood families can influence politics, and even Arthur Weasley is free to leave loopholes in the law in his favor. The grass-roots level of law enforcement is to borrow the authority of the Ministry of Magic, but it is powerless to control the areas such as Knockturn Alley that really need to be controlled.

Such a government organization, Lockhart has only seen in those disorderly African and Southeast Asian countries before, and even those countries in Africa are better than the Ministry of Magic, at least those dictators have one that can suppress all domestic dissatisfaction. army.

Such a Ministry of Magic may be only slightly better than the Indian government.

Dementors use the orders issued by the Ministry of Magic to suppress themselves. Lockhart really has no good way to do this, because according to his position, he should first appease these dementors who are "loyal" to the Ministry of Magic. , followed by an explanation to the teachers and students at Hogwarts.

It feels bad to have no power in your hands, Lockhart said.

Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Five

Although he knew what to do, Lockhart wasn't in the mood to appease the Dementors right now. To be honest, it would be nice if he could hold back and beat these dementors.

But the Dementors were persistent, thinking that they had been "despicable" by a wizard during their official duties, so Lockhart should punish the wizard who cast the Patronus Charm.

But they had forgotten one thing—that Lockhart was alone in the station besides them.

In front of outsiders, Lockhart may still pretend to be dementors in order to maintain the dignity of the Ministry of Magic, but when the door is only "his own", he will not be polite to dementors.

"Say it again!" He unabashedly radiated evil thoughts to the Dementors, "I am the only one who can represent the Ministry of Magic here, you have to listen to me!"

The Dementors looked bewildered—they couldn't understand what Lockhart was doing all of a sudden.

They don't get angry, and they don't hate the negative energy Lockhart exudes at this time, but as artificial beings, they always have to test each other before they can confirm each other's status, instead of letting Lockhart's empty words. .

"You... are no more qualified than us," said the dementor's little leader.

This was the longest sentence Lockhart had heard from the Dementors since their contact.

Are you sure about it? "