Honkai Biography

The breeze blows the clouds, and the morning sun reflects the sycamore trees.

early morning.

Sleepily, Yi found Danzhu.

"Good morning, Teacher Danzhu."

"Morning, what's the matter?" Dan Zhu tightened the quilt, she hadn't gotten up yet.

"Didn't I know a little bit of writing? In order to learn, I read the story you wrote all night yesterday. Your writing is really good. I like it very much. Teacher Danzhu, you are so talented!" Yi Zuo Sitting next to the bed, she looked at Danzhu with admiration.

Danzhu felt very proud after hearing this, and finally someone agreed with what she wrote. Wutong always criticized her stories, often satirizing her illogical logic and poor writing style.

Danzhu felt that Yi's appearance became more and more pleasing to the eye, this little girl is really pretty.

"Oh! It's not as good as you said, I still have to keep working hard! Hehe." Danzhu looked very humble on the surface, but she couldn't close her mouth from ear to ear.

Danzhu didn't know that some people just like to beat around the bush when they speak, and Yi is such a person. She was afraid that Danzhu would feel embarrassed or hurt, so she came up to praise first, but what Yi really wanted to express was to talk about it later. What is said is the key point after the turning point.

"Then can I express my personal opinion on the story you wrote?" Yi asked tentatively.

Dan Zhu didn't mind either, she laughed like a fool, "Say it, say it, say whatever you want, it's a good thing to have an opinion, and only when others put forward an opinion, I will revise it and make progress."

Yi thought for a while, and said: "The first story you wrote "My Husband is Fuxi", the Fuxi here is devoted to love and only loves Nuwa, which is not a problem. But the second story you wrote " In "Fuxi's Cultivation of Immortals", Fuxi has many companions, he accompanies two goddesses a day, and they are not the same for ten years, is this person setting in conflict?"

"You don't understand." Danzhu wrapped himself in a quilt and explained patiently, "The protagonists of the stories I wrote are all named Fuxi, but these are actually many different stories, the worlds are different, and the protagonists are also different people. You can't take the setting from the first story and carry it into the second story."

"I see." Yi nodded, "Then can I make some other comments?"

"you say."

"In your description, there are a lot of repetitive words, such as: wry smile, sneer, lewd smile, coldness, dark thoughts, disdain, etc. You have used these words badly."

The smile on Danzhu's face faded quite a bit: "Well... well... Actually, there is nothing wrong with these words, it's just that they are written too much, which may make them look... um... greasy? Or, Cheesy? ... But there's nothing wrong with the words themselves, is there? Well, I'll try to change some words, any more?"

"Well, there's more, and more." Yiyue said more and more addicted, "You describe the appearance of beauties all over the country, pure and pure, and all the men you describe are elegant and suave. You can also change these words. .”

"Smooth..." Danzhu's face no longer had a smile on his face, "How about I replace it with a lotus, bright eyes and teeth, national beauty, a thousand charms, and a beauty like a flower?"

"It's not that good, these are overwritten. In your "Fu Xi Xiu Xian Lu", there are more names of female characters than idioms!"

"This doesn't work, that doesn't work either, you have to give me something to say?" Dan Zhu said in a daze.

"You can make up your own words. For example, you can use the pose of beauty like Yi." Yi suggested, "Then you can mark next to the words. There used to be a woman named Yi who was the most beautiful woman in the world."

"So that's your purpose?" Dan Zhu asked in amazement. She suddenly felt that Yi was not so pretty anymore, and the little girl's appearance was just like that. It's beautiful."

"Harmful! I'm just giving an opinion! You are attacking others personally! I am doing it for your own good too! My opinion will make your story more in-depth and your writing more fluent."

"You don't have to." Dan Zhu handed over the pen, "Since you are so good, come here, I'll give you the pen, and you write."

Yi took the pen: "Okay! I write as I write, and from now on, I will also write stories!"

"You write a fart, I'll see what you can write!" Dan Zhu said angrily in his heart.

Danzhu felt that this guy was here to mess things up today.

"Cough! You don't study hard and read stories! It's a delay in studying, don't you know? You dare to read stories all night! Are you in a good state of mind today? Can you listen to them in class?" Danzhu began to find fault, She showed the majesty of a teacher and severely criticized Yi.

"But, I'm the best student in the whole academy." Yi said aggrievedly, "I read stories to learn characters. You can't criticize me like this because of a little opinion I put forward. It will make you seem very narrow-minded. Moreover, if you don't listen to the advice, your book will be of the same level."

"You! You go back to class for me!" Danzhu's defense was broken by Yi's words.

"But it's not time for class yet." Yi innocently said.

"Then you go out too! I want to change! I want to get up!"

"They're all girls, what's there to be embarrassed about, you're so delicate." Yi took a pen, got up and left.

Danzhu felt her blood pressure was rising, it was fine for Wutong to bully her, but how dare a mere Yi dare to speak like that in front of her?

It's all Wutong's fault. If it wasn't for Wutong's slapping her ass in front of outsiders, would Danzhu be as imposing as he is now?

Danzhu spent the beautiful morning in anger.

Danzhu decided that he must come back with revenge in the future.

Want to write a story? Danzhu will find fault with her!

If she writes quickly, she is too impatient; if she writes slowly, she is a waste, and she can't hold a fart in a day.

If her writing is good, she is said to be gorgeous, too flashy, and it is uncomfortable to read; if her writing is not good, she can say that she writes nothing.

If the plot is funny and relaxed, it is said that her writing is too plain and the main line cannot be seen; if the blood is tight, it is said that it is too tiring to read; if it is relaxed, it is said that she has no connotation and depth; Just for fun, what do you want to do in depth?

The plot first forms a closed loop, and then the protagonist.

If the protagonist has many brothers and sisters, say the protagonist is gay or lily, the character design is too poisonous and indecent; He only knows to revolve around the heroine or the heroine, and has no opinion.

If the protagonist has his own opinions, it is said that the character is too stubborn and does not listen to others' persuasion; if the protagonist is kind, it is said that he is too indecisive;

...

The more Danzhu thinks about it, the happier he is, let's write! I see what you can write! As a teacher, I have to criticize a disobedient and disrespectful student like you!

a month later.

Dan Zhu sat at the desk, looked at the manuscript paper in his hand, shook his head, and said to Yi: "Tsk tsk tsk, you can't write this stuff."

"Where it's not working, tell me." Yi said humbly.

"Look, you have written such a story this month, only 30,000 words, in which the protagonist shook his head twice, pouted three times, frowned four times, touched his nose five times, scratched his head seven times, 10 times Nodding for the second time, is the protagonist a monkey spirit? ADHD? Also, your writing is too bad. What do you mean by beauty like a shadow? Is this an idiom? And..."

Yi snatched the manuscript back from Dan Zhu's hand: "If you don't want to read it, don't read it!"

Danzhu suppressed a smile in his heart, and on the surface pretended to sigh: "Hey! The teacher just raised such a small opinion, and you don't want to listen to it. You don't have a broad mind and don't listen to others' persuasion. Your writing level It's just like that in this life, hey...it's a pity..."