How Can I Get Confused with the Top?

Vol 2 Chapter 63: Depression and suicide note

Chu Zhi's study perfectly fits people's definition of a study, and there are many books. The small study room of more than 50 square meters has three walls, and all of them are built with bookcases. It is estimated that there are more than 2,000 books in the collection.

"Where should we start?" Pang Pu said.

Photographer Jelly wisely panned the mirror and looked around. Since it was an exploration session, the two communicators first read a few books piled next to the books according to the barrage in the live broadcast room. ", "The Four Poems of Li Si", "Selected Poems of Pound Ruth" and so on.

All of them are famous poetry collections in the parallel world, works that are not found on earth, and Chu Zhi has laid a foreshadowing in a small way.

In front of the camera, there is no news of writing poetry on the Internet, it is not the time.

"Does Mr. Chu like poetry very much? He took notes." Pang Pu flipped through.

"Just a sentence written casually after reading a poem is of no value." Chu Zhi explained.

Immediately afterwards, Pang Pu's research in the study found many things, all of which were deliberately left by Chu Zhi.

For example, in the editing of reports, the original hobby is to cut out the criticism of him in the newspaper, and then mount it in a diary, thinking about one day to correct it, although most of them have not been corrected. Of course, Chu Zhi also admired Yuan Shen's behavior. It was his words that didn't read criticism at all, Yuan Shen still had the consciousness of wanting to make corrections.

While answering Pang Pu's question, Chu Zhi sighed at his kindness. Originally, there were pictures of grandfather and a group photo with parents in the study room, which could have been sold miserably, but they were put away in the early stage.

Why isn't there a popular fan circle link? Pang Pu was puzzled, and then he thought that it was exaggerated enough to be in the karaoke room, and it seemed that there was really no way out.

"Brother Jiu loves learning, loves poetry and loves life", "Can you take a look at the cabinet under the orange desk, can't you just look at the drawer", "What about the fan letter session that you like to hear?", "Ajiu is the best!"...

The content of the barrage is endless.

No one noticed that Wei Tongzi's expression was more serious. She wanted to find out the clues of the idol's depression. After deliberation in the morning, Wei realized that the idol might not want to be known, but the hardships of the road must be known to the little fruits. Idols cannot be left alone.

The best ninth brother will be guarded by our little fruit, Wei Tongzi decided in his heart.

"Huh? What's that pile on top?" Wei Tongzi's eyes were fixed. There was a cardboard box on the top shelf near the corner, roughly the size of a basketball and a few tennis balls, and it was half-covered by books.

She set up a bench and moved the small box down. In the process, she bumped into two books. "Ping ping pong pong-" the noise made by the books falling to the ground.

Pang Pu and Chu Zhi, who were chatting, were attracted to the past. Although they were free to explore, it was exaggerated to climb up and down.

Pang Pu immediately said, "Tongtong, in front of the show, especially in front of your idol, be gentle. Did Teacher Chu take out all the toys when he was a child?"

During the conversation, Pang Pu Yuguang paid attention to Chu Zhi. If he looked embarrassed, he would immediately find a way to change the subject, not to shoot the cardboard box.

If before the chrysanthemum and wolfberry tea, Pang Pu was absolutely afraid that things would be too big, but now he doesn't realize it, and he subconsciously protects the guests, not from the perspective of the show.

"To explore Baoyu, you must explore Baoyu well." Wei Tongzi replied, "Are there toys?"

After confirming that there was no change in the guests' faces, Pang Pu signaled Jelly to follow.

"It's nothing, probably other songs I wrote, which are not suitable for this album," Chu Zhi explained.

Wei Tongzi took it out and took a look. It was two musical scores. The first score was normal. It was a song called "Light Falling in Life". The lyrics were warm and love songs: "You are a bunch that fell into my world." Light, come to me, and all things grow. …]

The key is the name of the second song, "You Are Not Really Happy". She doesn't know how to sing because she can't read the musical notation.

[The crowd is crying

You just want to be transparent,

You will never dream again, or have pain or heartbeat.

You have already decided,

You have already decided,

You are quiet and endure.

Tightly hold yesterday in the heart of the fist,

…]

But she is literate and can read it out. One of the lyrics couldn't help but read aloud: "You are not really happy, your smile is just a protective color you wear, you decide not to hate, and you decide not to love, put your soul , closed forever, locked body..."

The lyrics made Wei Tongzi's heart twitch. So is the gentle smile on his lips just a protective color? Pang Pu is male and has a different way of thinking. His first reaction was, the lyrics are well written, why is the new album not used because it does not fit the theme of the album?

Wei Tongzi raised her head and saw that Chu Zhi opened her mouth and seemed to want to say something. The next one was a document, a case, a diagnosis case, and a diagnosis report from the Magic City Mental Health Center. A very bad feeling instantly enveloped her.

[Name: Chu Zhi

Department: Psychological consultation and treatment outpatient clinic, outpatient number: 154278454

Sex: Male

Age: 22 years old

Occupation: Other

Marriage: Unmarried

Date: 2019-8-15, 13:16

Main description: Headache, auditory and visual hallucinations, insomnia and persistent nightmares, depressed mood, strong suicidal intent

Self-rating depression scale (SDS) evaluation results: the subjects had severe depressive symptoms

Self-rating anxiety scale (SAS) evaluation results: subjects with moderate anxiety disorder

Physical examination: collision bruises on hands and legs

Mental examination: conscious, strong auditory hallucinations, normal conversation, slow speech, slow thinking, weak will to survive, and a small amount of insight.

Diagnosis: Major depressive state, moderate anxiety disorder

Treatment advice:

1. Review and receive psychological treatment on time every week, communicate with friends more, and maintain a good attitude.

2. Mirtazapine tablets are orally 15mg in the morning and evening, Estazolam tablets are orally 2mg per night, and duloxetine hydrochloride enteric-coated capsules are orally 20mg at noon and evening.

3. Standardize work, rest and diet, and regularly check blood concentration, blood routine, liver function and electrocardiogram after taking the medicine.

4. If you feel unwell, seek medical attention in time and follow up regularly. ]

Below is the doctor's signature and the hospital's red seal.

It's not over yet. Below the case is a letter, and then there are very few words on it, only two lines—

[I'm sorry, I feel like I can't hold on anymore, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm not fostered, and I'm not married. Please believe me, please. 】

The symptoms on the case, plus the medicines left in the small box, needless to say what this letter is.

A suicide note!

It's a suicide note.

The two heavy characters hit people's minds. Wei Tongzi and Jelly temporarily lost their ability to think, and even the well-informed Pang Pu temporarily lost the ability to speak.

The dense barrage in the live broadcast room has been reduced a lot for a while, because whether it is a case or a suicide note, it is clearly displayed in the eyes of Xiaomangyou in the live broadcast room through the camera.

Not to mention that the fans couldn't stand it, even passers-by were silenced by the overwhelming sense of oppression.

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