How to Raise Your Regressor

"Or am I wrong, Ms. Peeper?" I smiled for an added effect.

I mean, she peeked into my fate.

And unlike Dynogaur the Minotaur, she's intelligent, so she should know the significance of me standing outside fate.

"…Ha!" she scoffed.

"What are you talking about?" Noelle looked at me a bit suspiciously.

"It's a secret reserved only for us."

I dunno if the wankers are aware that Voloha has the ability to see the fate of others, so let's do the mature thing and hide it for the time being.

I mean, I'm no snitch.

Unless it benefits me in some way, or I'm bored and need some cheap laughs.

"Ahh…" Noelle squinted with a smug smile.

Hmmm, it would seem she has misunderstood.

And it would be in my best interest to clarify her misunderstanding because she's the type of woman who, in her misconceptions, will create nothing but problems for me.

"I believe that you've misunderstood."

"Have I, now?" her smug grin got wider.

Oh my God, I want to punch those teeth in I mean resolve this problem through verbal discussion because I'm a sophisticated gentleman.

"Absolutely."

"I shall keep that in mind," she giggled.

She's definitely not keeping it in her mind. Goddamnit.

Well, whatever, I'll leave this problem's resolution to the future me because right now, I don't have the time to argue with her.

Also, what if she starts screaming things like, 'I care for you!'? That would be a yikes from me.

This woman seriously needs a psychologist.

Anyway.

"So, where were we again?" I asked the friendly Princess.

"You were calling me a Peeper," her eyes twitched a bit.

"Ah, right," I nodded. "I'm sure you know what I mean, right?"

I don't think she's dumb enough to not know, but then again, one must never doubt how low the IQ of people can go.

For all I know, she could be a pancosmic idiot.

"Why do I feel like you're thinking something rude about me?"

"You're just imagining it."

I mean, me thinking something bad about someone? No way, man.

Me iz gud boi.

"Hmmm…" she scowled.

Is this woman- correction, girl, onto me?

Nah.

"Anyway, we digress. Let's get back on track."

"…Alright."

"I'm sure you get the basic idea of what I'm aiming for."

"Yes."

"Tell me."

"You want to introduce the Elixir to the world in a controlled manner, all the while keeping your identity as the creator a secret."

"Perfect. Also, for now, we'll prioritize giving a bottle of Elixir to everyone who is crucial for the survival of our species. Only then can we start handing them to the general public."

"I understand."

"Nice."

❄️❄️❄️

By the time we finished discussing the various small details related to the Seminar, it was already evening.

"It'll take me some time to prepare everything you've asked for," Voloha said with a small sigh.

"No worries. I also need some time to make Elixirs."

Well, she's the Princess of this country. Assuming that she has the full support of her father/mother/whoever-runs-the-State, it should take her around 3 days to prepare everything.

And 3 days should be enough time for me to manufacture the necessary number of Elixirs to pull off my prank.

"That puts me at ease," she smiled.

"Well then, until next time."

"Yes, until next time. See you next time as well, Guild Master."

"Let me know if you need anything," Azell replied.

"I will."

With that, Voloha left for the carriage waiting for her in front of our Guild, which, by the way, was still being guarded by its stupidly large cavalry.

I hope she can grow up and stop flexing her authority and position.

Also, now that I think about it, letting her come to our Guild in a motherfucking carriage guarded by a small army was not the most tactical decision on my part.

It doesn't matter right now, but when I'll conduct that seminar organised by the Princess, some might look at the fact that the Princess visited our Guild a few days ago and get suspicious of our involvement.

"How is your relationship with the Princess?" I asked Azell who was standing beside me.

"We're just friends."

What the fuck?

"Do I look like Noelle to you?"

Does he seriously believe that I'll take a look at their business relationship and come to the conclusion that they might be romantic partners?

I'm truly insulted if he thinks I'm that kind of person.

"What is that supposed to mean, Samur?" a cold voice resounded from behind me.

Hmm, it would seem Noelle was more insulted by my statement.

Fuck.

"Nothing in particular," I smiled as I looked back at the Devil behind my back.

"Well," Azell's lips curled into an amused smile, "If you're wondering whether I am romantically interested in Voloha or not, you don't need to worry. The same goes for the other way around."

Oh my fucking God, do these guys seriously believe that I'm looking to woo Voloha?

What the actual fuck, bros?

"It's nothing like that," I couldn't help but sigh.

Though I'm sure they'll ignore my statement like a junky mother ignores her child because they are fucking assholes.

"Is that so?" Azell's smiled did not vanish.

See?

I should probably conduct a 'Worst asshole' competition before that seminar, but it will be useless because I already know who the winner would be.

You got it right. It'll be these two wankers.

"I was just asking how good Voloha's business relationship is with the New Dawn Guild. And I'm serious."

"Oh," his smile slowly vanished. "Well, if I had to say, our relationship is very good."

"Good enough that she'll consult you before making an announcement that has the potential to shape our future?"

"Hmm… you could say that," he slowly nodded, perhaps finally understanding what I was talking about.

"I see."

I guess I'll have to train these wankers before the actual seminar.

❄️❄️❄️

"Oh my God!" Voloha squealed as soon as she stepped inside the carriage and saw Kanguko, her trusty attendant.

"W-what happened, Princess? Did something good happen?"

"Good? It's the best! I couldn't have imagined it!"

"Let me guess. Is it Samur?" Kanguko smiled.

"Of course, it's him! Do you know what he did?"

"I do not."

"He found a way to make Elixirs!"

"…What?" Kanguko's brain crashed again, then rebooted. "Elixir? THE Elixir, the legendary potion that can heal anything?"

"Yes, THAT Elixir! He found a way to concoct it!"

"Oh my God!" Kanguko squealed as well.

And together, they continued to dance in glee as the carriage made its way towards the castle.

They decided to celebrate this joyous occasion right now. After all, they had a lot of work to do once they returned.