How to Raise Your Regressor

"Nah, it doesn't suit you," they cruelly insulted my spectacular choice.

"It doesn't?"

"Nope.

"Hmm. Hold on, then. Let me try something else."

But since they're the experts (apparently), I'll let it go this time and listen to their advice.

And so, I once again entered the bathroom, took off my shirt and donned another one.

Then I exited the bathroom, "How about this?"

"Hmm," Arteria stroked her chin like she was an old man evaluating young boys in a not so wholesome auction. "This looks good."

"Yeah," Neia nodded. "The combination of black and yellow looks good on you."

Needless to say, they were talking about my yellow shirt and jet-black jeans.

"Yup." Noelle added.

Clementine just flashed me a thumbs up, while Lecia, as usual, didn't pay me any heed.

I like that girl's energy. I seriously hope the others could learn from her.

Now, one might wonder what the hell was going on here.

This was just a Dress Up Doll Simulator, in which these women were the players and I was their avatar.

Actually, I was unable to decide on an outfit for the Seminar this evening. I had a few outfit pairings in my mind, but try as I might, I couldn't make the final choice.

And since I was the star of today's evening, I wanted to dress to kill. So, I was left with no choice but to summon the experts aka the men of this Guild.

Yes, the men.

Some might say that I should've asked the women for help, and do you know what we call those people?

Sexists.

Like, why would I ask a woman about what a boy should wear? Sure, they could probably choose a good outfit for me, but they'd also play dress up doll with me and annoy me to no end.

They seemed to get off by bothering me, after all.

As it turns out, I was right.

Anyway, I had asked Azell to help me but he was apparently too busy (I know, what an asshole).

As I was trying to convince him to come to my room for a minute or two, Noelle, who was also present in the office, overheard me and somehow arrived at the conclusion that this job required the expertise of all of them combined.

And so, here we are.

Now, one might again believe that discussing a topic like 'What should I wear this evening?' when Noelle was around wasn't the most tactical decision on my part.

And that's where that believer would be wrong.

For you see, this was all part of my Grand Plan.

From the moment Noelle overheard me, she had fallen pray to my epic prank.

I mean, sure, the last few epic pranks didn't end that well for me (with the results ranging from getting choked in a non-kinky way by an edgy teenager to getting beaten up while being crippled), but hey, the moment you stop trying is the moment you lose.

I will play the truest, the most epic of pranks on these pieces of shit, no matter the cost.

Anyway, it seemed this group of judges had approved my current outfit choice.

I had also wanted to don a pink balaclava to the venue to show everyone who the biggest D player was, but against my better judgement, the girls had convinced me to not wear it.

Samur No Pink Balaclava Eckart.

"Are you sure you don't want something else? Like an armour, or a suit?" Vafferan asked.

By the way, to my pleasant surprise, Arteria had stayed true to her words and fixed that fucking door.

But then again, she would have to be the most incompetent person if she was unable to fit a new door in 3 days.

"No."

Who the fuck wears a full body armour to a social event? People who have small penises, I guess.

I have already stepped out of my comfort zone by wearing a pair of jeans instead of my usual trousers. I simply cannot compromise any more than that.

"You do you, I guess."

"Oh come on, he looks good, doesn't he?" Noelle rubbed my hair.

God-fucking-damnit, Noelle. Do you have any idea how long it took me to style my hair?

Jesus Christ, inviting this woman was a fucking mistake.

"I won't deny that," Vafferan smiled.

"The ladies would have been swooning at him if he was a bit older," Arteria commented.

Wait, does that mean I won't be having any one night stands today?

Fuck.

The perks of being in the body of a child, I guess.

Time to make a growth serum in half an hour.

It'll be highly unstable and would probably lead to my death, but at least I'll look old enough to have all the ladies swoon over me.

"Good. I'll finalise this outfit then. Thank you, everyone."

I thanked them because I was a good boy who understood how society worked.

"The pleasure was all ours," Noelle smiled. "You can always consult us whenever you don't know what to wear."

Is this woman that free? Maybe I should've signed up as a secretary instead of a R&D Head.

Or perhaps, that is a proposal to make me hire her as my personal wardrobe specialist?

Hmm, sounds tempting.

"I'll remember that," by which I mean I'll consult them when I have another prank to play. "Now, I'm sure all of you are busy with your own things. I'm sorry for taking up your time."

"Don't worry about that."

"Well then, I'll see you at the Seminar tonight."

"Sure."

To my pleasant surprise, the members of the New Dawn Guild actually understood what I was getting at and left.

Well, everyone except one person.

There is always a dense motherfucker in every group, huh?

"Is everything ready?" Neia asked.

"You just helped me choose it, so yes, it's ready."

"I'm not talking about that," she rolled her eyes.

Ah, she's talking about the Elixirs. Right, she knows that I'm the creator of those legendary potions and that I'm going to present them in today's seminar.

"Yup."

"I hope nothing goes wrong," she sighed.

"Are you worried?"

"Are you not?"

"It's just a small presentation. What's there to be worried about?"

"Yes, a presentation small enough to shake the world," Neia scoffed.

"You're getting good with your comebacks. I'm proud of you."

This is enough to bring tears to my eyes.

"I wonder who I have to thank for my growth."

"A really great teacher, I'm sure."

"Right."

"Anyway, you don't have to worry. I have everything under control."

I have planned everything; from how I'm going to begin the seminar, which joke I'm going to tell and at which time, how I'll build the audience's anticipation for the main event, how I'm going to conduct the QnA session, to all other small details.

All in all, today is going to be one heck of a seminar.

"Is that so?"

"Yup. So just sit back, relax and enjoy the show. I have also planned a special surprise. Look forward to that."

"Alright, then."

"Now if you'll excuse me. I still have some small things to prepare."

"Okay. I'll see you at the event tonight."

"Bye, bye," I waved as she left the room.

Now, time to tear shit up.