How to Raise Your Regressor

"You heard that right. We were successful in creating Artificial Elixirs."

"Huh," Jennifer barely eked out and leaned back in her chair.

Now that was unexpected; way too unexpected.

She was here for the discovery of the millennium, not a product of divine intellect.

"As I have already demonstrated, an Elixir is a legendary potion that can heal any injury as long as the injured is not completely dead. They can cure any disease and purge any curse. Basically, they are at the top of the healing department," Samur again paused for added effects.

Engrossed in his words, those present focused on him, not even daring to utter a word.

They didn't want to miss a single thing that this man was saying.

"Elixirs are defined in many different ways. Some call it the Water of River of Life, some refer to it as the Tears of the Goddess, some think of it as the Blood of the First Dragon Emperor. And that's because we mortals find it hard to rationalise the existence of something as divine as an Elixir."

'Get to the damn point!' Jennifer cursed in her heart.

This much foreplay was unnecessary; she needed him to dive into the heart of the matter.

"Let me in you on a secret," the man put a finger on his lips (or where they were supposed to be, anyway). "On a scale far beyond what you can imagine, Elixirs are the mark of progress. How efficiently and how many a civilisation can produce them determines its rank on the cosmic leaderboard."

That was utter bullshit, of course.

The Elixir was one of the greatest inventions in Class 3 category, but beyond that, its rank was in the double digits.

And that's because while Elixir was almost the best when it came to healing, producing it was hard and expensive.

They simply had far more efficient and cheaper options available that did just as good of a job as the Elixir.

It was like comparing a bolt action sniper rifle with a M240 machine gun.

They both could kill a person, no doubt about that.

But in the time the bolt action sniper would kill a person and reload, one could mow down an entire group of civilians waiting in the lobby of an airport after being told 'Remember, no Russian' with the M240 machine gun.

Well, that got a bit dark.

Anyway, Samur's words were bullshit, but by God were they effective.

Those present believed him completely, after all.

"As you all know, Elixirs are an extremely rare drop in 4- and 5-star dungeons. Those dungeons themselves are rare, so until now, we could only harvest around 4 or 5 Elixirs a decade. That drop rate is simply too poor to be of any help in the war against the Aggressors."

The RNG was so bad that it made Gacha games look generous.

"However, that changes starting today. We have developed a way to artificially create those Elixirs," Samur snapped again and a crate full of Elixirs fell out of his Inventory and into his hands. "These are all Elixirs."

'Bloody hell,' Jennifer was stupefied beyond belief.

"Oh my God…" Arteria couldn't help but exclaim out loud.

She knew Samur was capable; he developed a motherfucking heart for her after all.

But this was beyond anything she could have imagined. No, this was beyond the realm of what humans could achieve.

She was wrong, of course, but not completely.

Developing Elixirs was beyond the scope of CURRENT humanity. In the future, humans would have found a way to create Elixirs on their own.

In other words, if Samur shared the creation process and all the research data related to it, he could advance this world by hundreds of generations.

"So this is what a real researcher is like…" Vafferan muttered.

She couldn't help but wonder what her life could have been if the one who turned her into the Ultimate Weapon was him.

Perhaps… she could have avoided killing 'him'.

"I don't think I need to explain to you the significance of this achievement; you are all capable people. That's the reason you are sitting here."

The audience finally realised why they had been summoned here.

"So yes. From this day onwards, from this moment onwards, we finally have an edge in the war against the Aggressors. Now… we have a chance of victory."

A chill ran down the spine of everyone present, even Azell, as they let the word 'victory' sink in their hearts.

Before this, victory was simply an imaginary concept, like the trophy at the end of a race they were running backwards in.

It was something they joked about among themselves or used as a form of propaganda to motivate the younger generation.

All of them knew that all their struggle was to extend their and probably their children's lives on this godforsaken planet.

Around 40% of the continents of this world had already fallen, among which were those that once boasted the largest military or magical might. So, it was only a matter of time before they would too.

But suddenly, they had been picked by the cuff of their shit and turned around, allowing them to actually run towards the finish line and get that trophy.

Victory… was finally in sight.

Survival was finally possible.

And the one that had given them this chance was the man on the stage.

Of course, this was nothing more than a time pass for Samur. If he so wanted, he could win this war with a snap of his finger.

He was the motherfucking Origin of this Universe; trillions and trillions of planets were formed under his supervision.

Eliminating one of them would simply be too easy for him.

And that's why he won't.

That won't be amusing, after all.

"Well then, Ms. Jennifer, do you want my head now?" The man on the stage aka Samur chuckled.

"Actually, yes," Jennifer stood up.

"Then by all means, please do so," Samur presented his neck.

It was finally time to leave this world.

"Oh, no you misunderstand," Jennifer shook her head. "What I want is the inside of your head. No way could I kill the hope of this world."

Goddamnit.

"I'm afraid that title is a bit too heavy for me."

"You should have thought about that before showing us the lab made Elixir."

"Huh, you're right," Samur nodded. "The next time I discover something ground-breaking, I'll just keep it a secret to myself."

"…" Jennifer scowled.

"Just kidding," Samur chuckled. "That's why I used this mask. The last thing I want is to wake up to a crowd chanting my name like I was some sort of Apostle of the Goddess. It really fucks up with your sleep schedule. Trust me, I'd know."

"How?"

"I'm a good researcher."

"Fair enough," Jennifer grinned.

"Anyway, I'm sure you can now appreciate why I asked you to sign a non-disclosure agreement."

"Pretty much," she shrugged.

"Perfect. Let's move on to the next part, then."

'There is a next part?' Jennifer raised her eyebrows.