How to Raise Your Regressor

"...I see " His eyes drooped. "Tell me, Samur. What is the value of life to you?"

Wow, I just woke up, but God forbid he questions me about my state or how I am feeling right now.

I wonder what was going through his mind when he decided to ask me about this.

Like yea, 'Oh hey, Samur just woke up so let's ask him about how he values life. Hmm? Ask him about how he's doing? Pfft, who the fuck has time for that?'

Anyway, now that I think about it, he's just repeating the question I asked him back when he saved my life from those monsters in that forest.

I asked him that because I wanted a standard for repaying his favour. What's his reason for questioning me?

"Of course, life is extremely precious and must be cherished."

I kinda wanted to go for a Big D Play by claiming that the concept of life was meaningless, but that would have just led to some awkward moments.

"Okay." Azell slowly nodded. "Now, what is the value of YOUR life for you?"

My oh my. Would you look at this little wanker?

I mean, I wasn't exactly subtle about my complete disregard for my own life, but people usually deny the possibility of a child not valuing his own life.

However, not only did he recognise that my life holds absolutely zero value for me, he was also trying to bring up the issue himself in order to, I dunno, correct my views?

His quick-thinking skills are commendable.

"Now that I think about it, I'm still dizzy." I clutched my head. "I haven't fully recovered yet, so I think I should rest a bit more." I laid down on the bed.

But while commendable, his actions are nothing more than a pain in the ass for me so let's go for the classic diversion strategy.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

All of them were silently staring at me. Wow.

"I didn't know you guys had a, uh, let's just say, a hobby of watching others sleep."

Though such perverts are usually very secretive about their hobby.

"I see." Azell sighed. "That gives me the answer I was fearing."

Damnit.

"Oh well, there's nothing we can do about it, haha."

"Don't worry, we will." He smiled.

Shit.

"H A H A, you don't need to. There's no need to trouble yourself over something so mundane."

"Mundane…"

Ahh, fuck. Why do I always make situations like these even worse?

"But we must, and we will." Noelle came closer and gently caressed my head. "For you."

This woman is pretty enthusiastic about this, as if it was her life that we were talking about right now, but sure.

"Well, all the best."

By which I mean you guys can go fuck yourselves.

However, I do find their complete 180 in attitude highly amusing. Like, in the dungeon they were ready to kill me, but now they seem prepared to give up their lives for mine.

"Thank you." A smile beamed on her face.

"Anyway." The blue haired woman interrupted us. "Since you're awake now, let's go downstairs so that you can greet the rest of the members of this Guild."

"Wut?"

Come again?

Okay, uh, lemme get this straight. She's asking me, a 12-year-old child who just woke up after a serious operation, to go down on my own two feet, right now, to greet the other members of this Guild?

What the actual fuck?

Hot damn, the audacity of this woman. I'm not even mad, I'm just impressed.

"Woah, you were right." That woman then grinned.

"See? I told you." Noelle replied.

"But to think it would be to this extent…" Arteria murmured to herself.

"Hahahaha, but take a look at his face!" The blue haired woman burst out laughing.

"Exactly." Arteria also giggled.

The fuck are they talking about?

"You are wondering what they're talking about, right?" Neia asked.

Finally, someone who has the decency to involve me in the conversation.

"Uh-huh."

"Hold on, let me explain." The blue haired woman interjected. "Ah, by the way, my name is Vafferan."

Vafferan? That sure is an interesting name.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance." I gave her a nod. "So, you were talking about?"

"Right now, when I told you to meet the other members by going down, you were thinking pretty rude things about us, right?"

Oh look, we have a mind reader with us.

"Absolutely not."

"Don't lie, it showed on your face."

What?

So it wasn't a skill, but my Shit Body™ making my life harder, huh.

"Right now, you look like you're looking back at your life and wondering how it got you here."

The fuck?

"While you were asleep, Noelle told us that whenever someone does a stupid thing, you make a face that looks like you are contemplating all your life choices to see where you went wrong."

These guys are a bit too perceptive, aren't they? Or maybe it's just my shit body.

"So you tested it out by asking me to greet everyone."

"And it worked!" She started laughing again.

Wow. Well, at least they're not dumb enough to actually make me meet the other members in my current condition.

Though I need to do something about my overly expressive face. Maybe I should get a mask or something.

"Anyway, since you just woke up, you should rest for now. If you need anything, just ring that bell." She pointed to the drawer by the side of my bed.

"Alright."

Might as well get some sleep.

"Also, we did not get the chance to say this earlier, but thank you." All of them suddenly bowed their heads.

"For what?"

I haven't even done anything yet, so what are they thanking me for?

"For saving Noelle, duh." Arteria retorted.

"Ah, that. Please think nothing of it."

"We cannot."

Then go yeet yourself off a cliff because I don't give a shit anymore.

"Whatever floats your boat. Just don't make a big deal about it."

The last thing I want is for the Guild members to start treating me like some sort of messiah because I happened to save the life of one of their comrades.

Like, calm down bro. If this is enough to make you treat me like a Hero, then you're definitely not ready for the 'miracles' I'm going to perform in the future.

"We understand." Vafferan nodded. "Anyway, welcome to the New Dawn Guild."

"I look forward to working with you."

Hmm, now that I think about it, since Vafferan is in the Guild of these monsters- ah!

I completely forgot about the Status skill that I'm supposed to possess. Wow.

Aight, let's use it on her.

NAME: Vafferan Devourer

TITLE: Queen of the Darkness

Wut?