How to Raise Your Regressor

"Samur!" Noelle screamed.

"Kheok!" I coughed out blood.

Oh, looks like shit has hit the fan once again.

I miscalculated and ended up hurting myself.

Well, body modification is such a delicate process that even the slightest of mistakes, even a deviation of 0.0000001%, can lead to adverse consequences.

That's exactly what happened in my case and I totally did not lie about the safety of my methods.

I mean, lying and me? Pfft!

"This brat! I knew he was up to no good!"

That must be Arteria. I honestly couldn't tell as my vision was getting hazier while the sounds were becoming duller. The excruciating pain wasn't helping either.

"B-brother… he…"

Hmm, that should be Clementine.

"Step… will… heal…"

And that should be Neia- hmm?

Oh, would you look at that. All the blood that I had vomited out had dyed the white bedsheets crimson.

"Nice, I like red…" And then, I fell down.

"Samur!"

With that scream as the lullaby, darkness enveloped me.

❄️❄️❄️

"Mmm." I opened my eyes and was instantly blinded by the intense light, making me squint.

First of all, whose genius idea was it to leave the curtains open? No, before that, why was I given a room whose window faced east (assuming that was the direction the sun rose from in this world).

As my eyes became accustomed to the blinding light, I finally fully opened them, and was immediately met with a pair of yellow eyes.

"…"

"…"

It was Clementine. She silently stared at me for some moments, then took a deep breath.

"Shh." I whispered as I put my finger on her lips.

If I remember correctly (which I obviously do), last time, I asked Azell to supply me some mana to carve out new Mana Circuits for myself. He agreed on the condition that it would not hurt me.

Then I coughed blood.

What a bad boy I am, but hey, at least the ladies will love me.

Right?

Anyway, after all that, I'm sure they- especially Noelle- would chew me out for breaking my promise. So letting Clementine call them here won't be the most tactical decision, would it?

After all, like every non-masochistic person, I don't like being scolded.

"What's with the 'Shh'?"

Well, fuck.

I immediately closed my eyes and pretended to sleep, making some sounds so that my earlier 'Shh' would look natural.

"You can't fool me. Not again."

'Not again'. Wow, calm down with that sass, Noelle.

"I wasn't trying to." I yawned as I looked at her. "Oh, and good morning. What a pleasant day we have today."

"…" She clenched her jaw as her eyebrow twitched.

Oof, she's definitely angry.

Which is completely understandable, given that I broke a promise moments after making it, but it is also not ideal.

"However, I'm getting drowsy again." I yawned once again. "So I'll go back to sleep. Good night."

"Samur."

That won't work, huh?

F for myself.

"Yes?"

But my mantra is to never own up to my mistakes, so let's play innocent for a bit longer.

"Why did you do it?" Silhouetted by the sunlight coming from behind her, she looked like the Devil himself.

Which would have been preferable, to be honest, as the Devil is my homie.

She's more like the Devil's mother who used to whoop our ass for making mischiefs.

What fun days they were (aside from the ass whooping, of course).

"Did what?"

"You know what."

The members of the New Dawn Guild sure love their 'You know what's.

"Ah, that. It was just a small mistake, there's no need to worry about it."

"I CAN'T just not worry about you!" She hit the bed with her palm.

And for a moment, I felt an earthquake.

"Eek!" Clementine shrieked and bolted on out of here.

Quite the little sister she is- no, wait. That's exactly what little sisters are supposed to be.

They put all the blame on you when you are being scolded by your parents and get the fuck outta there.

So yea, she's giving me an authentic elder brother experience.

Enough about her though, I need to handle the angry parent aka Noelle in front of me.

Time to finesse this big girl.

"I understand, I'm sorry for betraying your trust. Do I get a chance to explain myself?" I looked at her with sincere, puppy eyes.

"…Go ahead." She crossed her arms and legs.

Huh, she was fooled by them.

If I'm able to control my facial expressions to such a degree that I can easily deceive everyone around me, then why the fuck can people read my emotions from my face?

Hmm, probably because my emotions are involuntary and I do not deliberately control how my face reacts to them.

Mystery solved.

"Thank you." I nodded. "What happened there was a mistake born out of my miscalculations."

"What type of miscalculations?" She furrowed her brows.

"I underestimated Azell's mana and overestimated my existing circuit's capacity. This led to an overflow and I was forced to resort to drastic measures to save my life."

Just kidding.

"Your life was in danger?!"

Samur Eckart, a professional liar at your service.

"Yes, unfortunately. I personally wouldn't have minded that, but I figured you wouldn't like that, so I settled for a world of pain."

What actually happened was that I used a Mana Drill to destroy my existing, tattered Mana Circuits to make space for new ones.

This once again injured my body and led to me coughing out blood.

But I obviously couldn't reveal that to her because I don't like getting my ass whooped.

"Oh Samur…" She genty cradled my cheeks in her hands as her eyes became moist. "Why do you always hurt yourself like this?"

Bruh.

"Hey, I don't do that voluntarily."

Don't make me out to be some kind of masochist.

"Yes, but you still end up in those situations again and again. And it's always my fault." I could feel her hands trembling.

Isn't that taking it too far though?

"That doesn't even make any sense."

"But it was-"

"Well, tell me. Was it you who asked me to do those things?"

"No, but-"

"Exactly. First of all, the only life-threatening situation which was directly related to you was when I saved your life. And even then, sacrificing myself for you was solely my decision."

Mostly because it sounded amusing and that I didn't know it would turn into such a big deal.

I really need to unlock a future seeing skill or something.

"…"

"Besides, the reason your life was in danger was because I misfired my spell. So, you getting hurt is on me."

"No! It was not your fault!" She exclaimed.

"Why not?"

"Because it was not in your control."

"Then doesn't the same logic apply to you?"

"This and that are different things."

"They are not. Just like you getting hurt was not my fault, me endangering my life to save yours wasn't your fault either. In your words, the situation was not in your control."

"…"

"So, do not blame yourself for what I chose. You do not have the right to do that."

I don't remember giving her the right to sully my choices.

It was my, and only my, decision to save her.

I will not let her ruin the sanctity of my autonomy by inserting herself into that equation.

"Do not have the right? Ha!" She scoffed. "Pretty big words for a child."

A child who saved your life. I wonder where that places you, Noelle.

Huh, that almost makes it sound like being saved by a child is a crime, which is not.

Wow.