How to Raise Your Regressor

"Really? Who told you that?"

"Lecia."

What.

The.

Actual.

Fuck.

Lecia was the one who told her that Lecia's father is dead?

There's something very wrong going on here.

"What? And how did she know?"

Let's determine that first, though I already have an idea of how she might have learned that.

And if what I'm thinking is indeed the case, then boy oh boy, did I miscalculate a bit.

"She's saying he died in front of him."

Yup, fuck my life, because life is fucking me.

"Come again?"

Anyway, I need to keep up my charade for now. Can't let Vafferan know that I'm aware of that man's death.

Because that'll raise the question of how I knew that. From there on, it won't take long before they would start suspecting me.

"Just go and talk to her!" Vafferan, who had dragged me to the second floor, pushed me into Lecia's room.

Goddamnit, do I look like a motherfucking expert of traumatised children or what?

She's going to ruin all my plans. I'll have to tread carefully from here.

For starters, let's talk to this fucking idiot.

"Um, hello?" I talked to the small hill on the bed.

That small hill- which was probably Lecia hiding under the sheets- didn't reply.

How rude. Ever heard of courtesy, girl?

So what if you just saw your father die a horrific death right in front of your eyes? Everyone goes through that. Man up and be a functioning member of the society by doing things like returning a greeting.

I already don't want to deal with this overreacting baby.

"Lecia? Can you hear me?"

The hill remained the same. Is she using noise-cancelling headphones or what?

Hmm, now that I think about it, Vafferan never specified Lecia's emotional state. For all I know, she could be jamming to some sick tunes to celebrate that motherfucker's death.

Which would be just wow.

Anyway, time to approach this situation in a different way.

"I've heard that you killed your father. Good job." I clapped.

Ez.

"I did not kill him!" A scream came from under the bed- what?

Under the bed?

I bent down and looked under the bed, and sure enough, the little wanker was hiding under there. Her face was still wet with tears, so it would seem she was not celebrating the death of her father.

So, at the very least, she's not a psychopath.

A shame.

"Yes, I know, I was joking."

"That's not a thing to joke about!" She wailed.

"So it would seem. Anyway, what are you crying about? You just saw your father die, grow up."

"Eh?"

Oh shit, did I actually say that aloud.

"I worded that wrongly." I kneeled down on that spot. "Wait, before that, what are you doing down here? Shouldn't you be on the bed?"

If you're going to cry, then you might as well be comfortable about it, right?

"I don't want to talk to anyone."

"You're talking to me."

Make up your mind, Lecia.

"That's because you said that I killed my father!"

And as demonstrated by her, my tactic worked. If someone's not talking to me, then all I need to do is to force them to talk to me.

"Which brings us to our current point. Even if you haven't killed your father, you did watch him die. But how did you do that?"

The only way she could have watched him- barring her placing a small spy camera on me- was by being at the place of his untimely demise.

Which means that she was at our meeting place 5 minutes before our meeting time.

Which indicates that she wanted to meet her father before he could meet me.

Which can imply only one thing; this little fucker was up to no good.

"T-that is none of your business…" She averted her eyes.

"Is that so? Well, for the time being, why don't you come out?"

Talking like this is pretty uncomfortable.

"I don't want to."

No shit.

"I can sit here all day, and I swear I'll do it while looking right in your eyes. So, why don't you come out?"

She has no idea of how low I'll go just to spit in someone's face. I'll turn back time to when I had created the Universe just to make its bottom even deeper if that's what it requires.

"Eesh…" She shuddered.

After thinking for some time, she crawled out of there and sat on the bed [after pushing aside the hill that was made of her pillows (why does she need so many pillows wtf?)].

I took the chair and took a seat opposite her.

Quite unsurprisingly, she wasn't looking me in the eyes.

Alright, time to start Operate Help-Lecia-But-Make-Her-Think-I-Did-Absolutely-Nothing-For-Her.

Because, as apparent from Noelle's case, people of this world tend to overexaggerate favours.

Like, alright dude, I saved your life, or protected you from your abusive father who was dead set on ruining your life. Why do you have to make such a big deal about it?

It honestly makes me feel like an asshole because I personally don't think much of those things.

I mean, I AM an asshole, but like every normal person, I don't like to be reminded of it.

⟦⟦Pfft!⟧⟧

[You're still here, bitch?]

"Okay, so tell me, how exactly did you witness your father's death?"

Let's multitask as none of them require my full attention.

[Is this the surprise you were talking about?]

"I-I just happened to be there."

⟦⟦Of course.⟧⟧ He chuckled.

"Wow, what a superb lie, Lecia. You're a fucking genius. Here, lemme clap for you." I did a slow clap for her while looking straight in her eyes with a deadpan expression.

[Why don't you go fuck yourself?]

"…"

⟦⟦Fuck me yourself you coward.⟧⟧

"So, let's begin again." I said after stopping my claps. "What were you doing there?"

[Appear before me and I'll be happy to bend you over the table and fuck all that assholery out of you.]

"…"

⟦⟦I don't want to tell you.⟧⟧

"What happened? Did that scare you off, bitch?"

[Lecia, we need to discuss- you fucking piece of shit!]

⟦⟦Hahahahahahaha!⟧⟧

This fuckface used Lecia's voice to confuse this body's tiny shit for brains! Goddamnit.

"…" Because of him, Lecia was glaring at me like she'd kill me.

Alright, time to do what I do best; improvise, adapt, overcome.

⟦⟦You say that every time.⟧⟧

[Because I'm the best at everything, including kicking your ass.]

⟦⟦Keep dreaming, bitch.⟧⟧

Let's handle this little Devil in front of me first.

"What? Did cat get your tongue? Answer the damn question, Lecia."

Yikes. If this doesn't make her hate me, then I dunno what will.

"I…" Her eyes widened to a dangerous degree as she clenched both her jaw and fists.

"Go on, bitch."

"Because I wanted to kill that bastard!" She screamed as she leapt at me.

Wut?