How to Raise Your Regressor

｢I see.｣

I can see that Neia is actually really bad at lying.

After all, her tone while asking me that question had a certain sense of longing in it; it was almost as if she was jealous of me for being able to one-shot a Minotaur.

Of course, one could argue that I'm the weird one for noticing such a slight change in her tone, but I'd tell them to go fuck themselves because accepting responsibility is for nerds.

Anyway, Neia's proficiency in lying aside, the view up here sure is great.

The light of the morning sun was shining on the city and glistening off the river while a bunch of people were moving around in the street, probably heading to work or setting up shop.

By the way, I could see the figures of the people in the city through magic because why the fuck not; magic is the answer to everything as long as the magician is proficient enough.

I mean, no way in hell could my shit body's eyes make out those tiny figures.

In fact, I think I might be suffering from myopia and may need glasses in the future.

…

Hmm, I wonder if this world has opticians capable of determining the power of the lenses required for my spectacles. Also, will they use the same hot air balloon image?1

Though by my calculations (and not some random estimation), I think I would need spectacles of the power -1.0.

F.

What style should I go for, anyway? Do I purchase the thick, round frame to complete my look of the bookworm who spends 18 hours a day reading books while wondering why he has no friends?

Or do I go for the stylish, rectangular frames and become the first smart businessman of my guild?

Or perhaps I can adopt the cat frame and preach about the superiority of cats and why they should be treated as gods.

The final option, of course, is to get a pair of contact lenses to preserve my handsomeness.

｢Do you know a good optician?｣ Let's consult the Dragon medic.

｢A what?｣

｢An eye doctor.｣

｢No, I don't. Why?｣

｢I think my eyesight has become weak; I can't see the objects far from me clearly.｣

｢Seriously?｣

Let's hope she doesn't ask me to take vitamins or something.

｢Uh-huh.｣ I couldn't help but sigh.

｢Will you be alright in the dungeon?｣

｢Of course. My eyesight is just slightly weak, I'm not blind.｣

What's with people thinking that those who wear specs can't see at all? I've had people taking off my specs and asking me how many fingers they were flashing at me.

Like, goddamnit Karen those are just glasses, not a motherfucking magic tool to help the blind see; I know you are showing me 7 fingers.

｢If you say so.｣

Should I try crafting some makeshift glasses for the time being? Hmm, we're going in a dungeon so contact lenses might be better.

Or maybe I can do what I do best and do everything in my power to make sure I die I mean slaughter the shit out of that dungeon because the inability to see doesn't matter if there's nothing to see.

｢We're here.｣

Oh, that was fast.

Ah right, Azell did say that the dungeon wasn't far from the guild. To think he wasn't trying to treat me like a child; what has this world come to?

｢Where is it?｣

｢It's the cave over there.｣

Ah, so it's another cave-based dungeon which is going to be explored by a team of two who believe the dungeon will be easy.

Hmm, that sounds oddly familiar.

Let's hope we don't find another mythical beast guarding the King of another species, the latter of which considers the former a family.

Also, I'm probably late in noticing this, but why did Azell hand me a pair of daggers instead of a staff? Did he not get the memo that I'm a magician?

He probably didn't, considering I never explicitly stated that. Fuck.

｢I'm landing.｣

｢Okay.｣ I held on to her tightly.

However, contrary to my expectations of a safe landing, Neia suddenly drew in her wings and started falling down with extreme speed.

Is she trying to cosplay the atomic bomb that blew up Hiroshima or what?

However, just before we hit the ground, she opened her wings, gliding along the ground into a better future.

She flapped her wings again and without waiting for our speed to decrease, she landed, sliding forward on the ground.

Finally, with a drift, she stopped right in front of the cavern.

I get Neia, you're cool; no need to rub it in my face like that.

Her body glowed again and her figure suddenly shrank.

Since I was on her back, I obviously fell down, but the Dragon Princess caught me in a Princess carry.

You're making me blush, Neia.

"Thanks."

"No worries." She said as she put me back on the ground.

"So this is 'The Exalt's Memories."

"Yup."

"Well, this sure doesn't look like a dungeon."

From the outside, it looked like your normal seedy cave.

"All dungeons are like that." She giggled.

I obviously knew that, but I needed to emulate the reaction of the child who had seen a dungeon for the first time.

"Let's take a short rest before going in. Check your equipment."

"Roger."

Your word is my command, Princess.

Okay, so let's check my items.

Armour: check.

Daggers: check.

Ropes: check.

Potions: check.

Knives: check.

Torches: check.

Miscellaneous items we probably won't use: check.

A positive, can-do attitude: check forever.

"Everything is in order." I said and took a water bottle to wet my parched throat.

Well, not exactly parched because it took us 5 minutes to arrive at this dungeon (seriously, this dungeon is way too close to the city), but unnecessary adjectives are hilarious.

"Is it? Well, let's enter the dungeon, then."

"Sure."

"After you."

"Aight."

I guess she's committed to her role as an observer.

After cracking my neck as it had become stiff, I entered the cave.

The moment I took the first step in, a System Screen appeared in front of my eyes.

⟦Welcome to the dungeon 'The Exalt's Memories'.⟧

It greeted me.

⟦Member Count: 2/10.⟧