I am Kaka

Text Chapter 562: Some People Hate Messi, Some Hate Ronaldo, But Everyone Loves Kaka

"Aspen": "The fans at White Hart Lane were fortunate to witness the birth of a miracle.

In Real Madrid's Champions League quarter-final against Tottenham, Kaka, who came on as a substitute, miraculously scored 5 goals in 9 minutes, setting a number of Champions League records.

Played at 49 minutes and 21 seconds, scored the first goal at 49 minutes and 30 seconds, the second goal at 50 minutes and 53 seconds, and scored a free kick at 53 minutes and 14 seconds, and staged the record for the fastest hat-trick in the Champions League.

At 55 minutes and 50 seconds, the heel scored, the fastest big four in the Champions League.

At 58 minutes and 12 seconds, the fifth goal was scored, and the fastest five sons of the Champions League were admitted.

Both Mourinho and Zidane looked unbelievable on the sidelines, and such a performance like a god possessed has never been seen even in a game of weak against strong with great disparity in strength, let alone the two sides in the game. Real Madrid, which has just got rid of the embarrassing status of Sixteen Lang in the Champions League, and Tottenham, which has just squeezed out Liverpool to enter the Champions League. "

"L'Equipe": Let us look at the miracle on the pitch.

Brazilian goalkeeper Rogerio Cheney scored 132 goals in his career as a goalkeeper, including 62 direct free kicks. In addition, Ceni once scored 21 goals in a natural year in 2005 Performance;

As a famous court gentleman, Lineker has played 460 club games and 81 national team games in his entire career, but in this total of 541 games, he has never received a card-whether it is yellow or red ;

Bidua, a Colombian nationality, started his career in 1995 and ended in 2015. He is a midfielder. He has participated in a total of 601 games in his career. On average, he will be sent off once in 13 games, and the number of red cards is as high as 46. , so far no one has surpassed him, so that everyone thinks that he is not a football player, but a thug of a drug dealer;

If you think that Bidua is the biggest villain in football history, Kevin Musquet will definitely disagree - in his nearly 20-year career playing for England and Australian teams, the Australia international has scored 123 goals. 12 yellow cards and 12 red cards. As the saying goes: "I'm here to play football, and I'm here to kick people. But mainly I'm here to kick people." That's what he said...

Fontaine's record of scoring 13 goals in a single World Cup is considered unsurpassable, but Kaka directly raised this record to an incredible 17 goals in the last World Cup, and it seems that he has to rely on himself to break it;

Before Kaka appeared, Gerd Muller was the holder of many scoring records in world football. Among them was the annual scoring record: In 1972, Muller created the miracle of scoring 85 goals in the year . This record has been maintained for 39 years. Originally, Kaka was the most promising one to break last year, but he "only" scored 78 goals in the cross-league + Champions League + national team in 2010, surpassing Beibei. Leigh's 73 goals are behind Muller's 85 goals and Jimmy Jones' 80 goals;

There is also a very outrageous record that belongs to Beckham: on October 6, 2001, at the Old Trafford Dream Theater, England 2-2 Greece in the World Cup qualifier... well, I don't want to say that he is the savior Free kick, I want to say that he ran a distance of 161k in 90 minutes of that game. If you don’t know what this number represents, then I can only tell you that as long as there is one player who can Running 12k or 14k in a game is already considered inhuman performance...

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The above records are probably the limit that human beings can achieve in the sport of football, but compared with the miracle that Kaka just created, all these seem to have become child's play: Champions League quarter-finals, European football Even one of the most valuable and competitive competitions in world football,

But Kaka scored a total of five goals in 9 minutes, 8 minutes and 51 seconds to be precise (from playing to scoring the last goal).

Do you think I'm joking?

Yes, Kaka played a joke on all of us.

I can only say that God suddenly became interested on this day, and played a nine-minute football game with Kaka controlled by his custom-made controller. "

"French Football": In terms of the plot, McGrady chased 13 points in 35 seconds when the Rockets were behind, and finally made a lore to overtake. What he created was a miracle of the same magnitude as Kaka, but in terms of difficulty, a top game The difficulty of 5 goals in 9 minutes in a Chinese football game is much more terrifying than McGrady's 35 seconds and 13 minutes...

What is the concept of 5 goals in 9 minutes?

To be precise, Kaka scored 5 goals in 8 minutes and 51 seconds, that is, 531 seconds. On average, he scored 1 goal in less than 107 seconds.

In a matchup like Real Madrid vs. Tottenham, 23 passes can be completed in 107 seconds, that is, each side attacks once, and Kaka seized all the offensive opportunities in these 9 minutes, and all his shots were hit. , hit rate of 100, and goal conversion rate of 100, which are data that may not be able to be played in the game.

We can no longer describe the magic of these 9 minutes in words. Kaka stunned his coach, his teammates and opponents, the audience and the whole world.

"Guardian Sports Edition": Let's see what others have to say.

Former teammate Torres: "Hahahahaha, sorry, I didn't watch that game, because I knew Real Madrid would definitely win, and Kaka would definitely score when he played, but I haven't seen such a performance in my life-if If there is a previous life, I must have never seen it."

Mike Newell, the previous holder of the fastest hat-trick record (9 minutes) in the Champions League, also congratulated Kaka: "Congratulations Kaka, you are the number one in the world and the number one in history, only you deserve this honor. "

Kobe Bryant: "Kaka: Hey, brother, 5 goals in 9 minutes, do you want to come to the NBA? Come on, the Lakers welcome you."

Yao Ming: "Kaka, Kobe: Kaka wants to play basketball, of course he comes to the Rockets. Lakers, please line up at the back, ok?"

McGrady: "Which is more deadly between the McGrady moment and the Kaka moment? This is an unanswered question. I only know that Kaka, like me, has accomplished a miracle that cannot be replicated. We are equally great."

Ancelotti: "Can you stop asking me about Kaka, at least he has not been my player for the past three years... scored five goals in nine minutes? Which game was it against the Chinese team?" Is it a friendly match? Champions League? Are you kidding me? Today is April Fool's Day?"

Messi: "This is Kaka, this is really what he can do."

Ronaldo: "Kaka must thank me, because I didn't play, as soon as I was on the court, he couldn't help passing the ball to me, then this record may be mine, hahaha, yes, today He must treat him tonight."

Guardiola: "Hearing this kind of news before the game against Real Madrid is really hard to cheer up, but I can only rejoice that Kaka did not complete this incredible performance in the game against Barcelona..."

Yes, El Clasico is here again.

Few games have inflamed fans more than Barça-Real Madrid.

April 16, the 32nd round of La Liga, Real Madrid vs Barcelona;

On April 20, the Copa del Rey final will be Real Madrid vs Barcelona.

Two contests within four days, if they can reach the Champions League final at the same time, it will be three games within 43 days.

This kind of density has made everyone's expectations unbearable. To some extent, this is like the nba playoffs. The two teams will have a series of fierce battles in a row.

The first to be pushed to the cusp was originally Kaka who had just become the Ninth Five-Year Supreme, but Mourinho used his unique method to complete the protection of Kaka.

At the press conference before the match, Mu Niao didn't say a word, and the assistant coach Kalanka spoke on his behalf. Needless to say, there was a lot of news.

Mourinho always has endless grievances when he meets Barcelona.

A master with character and strength but who refuses to be disciplined is expelled from the school and then comes back to take revenge. This is a classic joke in martial arts novels. Even "Kung Fu Panda" produced by Kaka's Marvel Pictures is full of such plots , In the football world, the relationship between Mourinho and Barcelona basically conforms to this pattern.

In this context, even Kaka, Ronaldo and Messi seem to have become supporting roles, because the relationship between Kaka + Ronaldo vs. Messi + Neymar is no longer an equal relationship. The fateful confrontation is more or less the meaning of "forcing the four prides", and even the thick-skinned "The Sun" can't get it out.

On the day of the game, the Bernabéu stadium was full of seats without exception, and players from both sides were making final preparations in the locker room.

Real Madrid's dressing room is like a complex ecosystem in which creatures of different habits and beliefs co-exist.

Ronaldo and Kaka are two typical examples, both on the outside and on the inside.

Everywhere the Portuguese goes, there is always a lot of noise behind him: the team doctor is talking in a low voice, the physical therapist is in a hurry, teammates are talking and laughing wantonly, and the head coach Mourinho is closely watching Ronaldo's every move.

Because his heart is full of longing, Ronaldo's actions always appear anxious, and his teammates even nicknamed him "Brother Anxious" because of this. The president's preparation style can be imagined.

Kaka, on the other hand, always sat quietly in his seat before the game, watching his teammates play with a smile. If it wasn't for the head coach's request, he would rarely even speak, but even if he didn't say a word, no one would dare ignore his presence.

The same is true for this game.

After Mourinho emphasized the tactics and poured the chicken soup, he did not let Cassie make the last speech, but gave Kaka the task of boosting morale.

Everyone has become accustomed to it.

"I have nothing to say," Kaka said with a smile, "the opposite is Barcelona, ​​and we are Real Madrid. If such a game requires me to use an excited tone to mobilize my emotions and fighting spirit, then everyone is not worthy of wearing this white shirt." The jerseys are on the Bernabéu…”

"So... Let Barca go back crying!"

"The only thing Guardiola should be thankful for is that it is only the 32nd round of the league, and they are playing away. There are still two games before we win the championship ahead of schedule. This is not Camp Nou, so they don't have to line up to welcome the champions!"

"In the same way, if this league title was won on the basis of a home loss to Barcelona, ​​then none of us deserved to be on the podium - I don't know what you're going to do, but if this disgusting thing is true If it happens, I will refuse the league championship medal for this season."

Now that the wind is going smoothly for Real Madrid, Kaka certainly dares to say anything.

Bragging against the wind and reasoning against the wind is universal.

C Rome immediately responded: "I'm different, I will receive the medal, but I will throw it in the trash."

"Add me!"

"Beat Barcelona!"

"Goal! Victory!"

"ha adrid!"

Kaka stretched out his hand, and everyone covered it together.

"One, two, three...Come on, Madrid!"

All members of Real Madrid were full of fighting spirit and vitality, while Barcelona looked serious and dignified. Even Neymar just nodded lightly at Kaka, and did not make many greetings. It is estimated that Guardiola was in the locker room. With strong medicine, Real Madrid will face a red and blue team that is fighting for their lives in this game.

"The players have entered the field, listen to this applause... There is no doubt that the most popular are Messi, Ronaldo and Kaka, but just listen carefully to find the difference, whether the shouts for Messi and Ronaldo or the How warm the applause is, these cheers and applause will always be accompanied by some boos, but Kaka is different, there are only loud cheers when he plays.

This is the difference between Kaka and Melo. No matter how many achievements Messi and Ronaldo have achieved, there are flaws. Only Kaka's career is truly perfect.

Some people hate Messi, some people hate Ronaldo, but everyone loves Kaka. "

The Real Madrid team song and "The Song of Kaka" were uploaded from the South Stand together, and Kaka had to wave to it, which resulted in more enthusiastic singing from the fans and follow-up from other stands, making it seem that what is about to be staged here is not The duel of the century when Mars hits the earth, but Kaka's solo concert.

The dignified Guardiola quickly discovered a detail.

The turf of the Bernabéu stadium is very deep.

When the players walked into the field, they left obvious footprints behind them, as if they were stepping on a wheat field.

Obviously, in order to prevent Barcelona's smooth ground coordination, Mourinho did not let the gardeners mow the grass, but let it grow...

[Damn Portuguese! 】

Kaka also discovered this. Apart from being a little bit dumbfounded by Mu Niao's tricks, he also felt sad for Guardiola.

It's fine to meet someone who's a jerk like me, but to face such a disgusting opponent as Mu Niao, Gua Shuai will have a hard time in this life~~

"Hey! Kaka!"

The two captains were busy with various chores before the game, and Ronaldo suddenly sneaked to Kaka's side.

"What's wrong?" Kaka looked at him inexplicably.

"Pass! Assist!" Robbie made a "666" gesture, "Give me 6, ten minutes."

"Oh Xie Te!" Van Persie kept his ears open after seeing Ronaldo's movements, and immediately rushed forward, "I want seven, 15 minutes, if it doesn't work, 20 minutes is fine."

"...You guys really treat the game like a concert, ordering songs on the spot?"

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