I became auspicious
Chapter 63
I slowly stepped into Yuqing Palace, passed through the mottled sunlight under the palace wall, and walked straight into the dining room. At this moment, it was so quiet here that the only sounds were my breathing and the gentle breeze.
I rolled up my sleeves and started making myself a bowl of noodles. From selecting ingredients to cooking noodles, every step is meticulous. The noodles are tumbling in the boiling water, steaming hot and fragrant.
I finished the bowl of noodles quietly, savoring the flavors, as if looking for a long-lost peace. Then, I washed the dishes carefully and put them back in their place.
Back in the bedroom, I tried to immerse myself in the world of books, but found that I couldn't concentrate anyway. I felt a little irritable in my heart, and my thoughts were like a kite with its string broken. Ah Ling's figure appeared in my mind, and I decided to write her a letter to express my inner feelings.
However, when I picked up the pen, I found that the originally smooth words had become so jerky. I paused and sighed softly. Did she only become friends with me because I am Song Wanxing? Or is it just because I am the Crown Princess?
This question lingered in my mind and made me question our friendship. Am I just an identity in her eyes and not who I really am? Or is it that no one in this world knows that I am Song Wanxing, just a princess?
This thought made me feel inexplicably lost and confused. who I am? What do I want? These questions kept replaying in my mind and I couldn't calm down.
I sighed helplessly and bit my lower lip hard. Then I began pouring my thoughts and questions onto the paper with the tip of my pen.
Dear Ah Ling:
I wrote to you, but I haven’t replied to you for a long time. I miss you so much that I can’t bear it. I have recently learned something about it and would like to discuss it with you. I wonder if you are friends with me because I am the Crown Princess? My heart is very worried, full of doubts, and I may be deceiving myself. I once thought that friendship was priceless, but now I am filled with doubts. Do I want too much and become upset? In this world, wouldn't it be wonderful if you could live in confusion? However, I know that this is not what I want or what I enjoy. Now I have nightmares every night and can’t sleep or eat well. I hope you can clear up my confusion, restore my faith, and comfort my heart.
Best wishes.
I carefully placed the letter and called Hongmei to help me mail it. I stood up, looked out the window at the bright sunshine, and thought that I wanted to ride a horse and go for an outing in the countryside to feel the freedom and tranquility.
However, as soon as I walked to the door, there was a sound of brisk footsteps accompanied by laughter like silver bells. It was Yu Rourou, she was walking in slowly, saluting me gracefully, with a smile on her face.
"Sister, I want to talk to you."Her voice was gentle and sweet, which surprised me.
I nodded and motioned for her to sit down. We sat on the couch, and I found that her expression was more relaxed and happy than ever before, which made me curious.
"Axing, I have something to tell you."She gently took my hand, her eyes shining with anticipation.
"I wonder what Rourou wants from me?"I asked softly, full of doubts in my heart.
Yu Rourou took a deep breath and said with a smile:"Axing, I can leave the palace."
My eyes widened in surprise, and I was speechless for a moment. Yu Rourou gently held my hand, with deep emotions in her eyes.
"I know you have a lot of questions, let me answer them today."Her voice was soft and firm, as if it carried a kind of power.
I nodded obediently, full of expectation in my heart. Yu Rourou looked out the window, her eyes began to become deep, as if she was trapped in distant memories.
"The past between His Highness and I was actually like this."She began to speak slowly, and every word was filled with deep emotion."I still remember when I was thirteen years old. It was a hot summer day, cicadas were chirping, and I was sitting on the banana leaves in the backyard of Taishi Mansion. Then a chance glance. I will never forget that bright and dazzling young man. Every smile and every movement he made is deeply imprinted in my heart.
And when His Majesty granted me marriage to him three years later, my inner joy could hardly be expressed in words. The Queen knew my feelings and specially asked me to enter the palace in advance to learn etiquette. Her Highness has always been gentle to me. His refinement and education made me feel extremely reassured. I thought that days like this would stay with me for a long time.
I try hard to be nice to him every day, care about his daily life, read the books he has read, practice the calligraphy he likes to write, and even try to understand his world. I thought that as long as I persisted, I would be able to get into his heart one day. But from that night on, he started to distance himself from me. But I could still find different lame excuses to stay with him and read, but he didn't show any emotion, didn't refuse, and would prepare desserts and tea. I thought it would get better gradually.
Until you show up, Song Wanxing. I once thought that we were both the women he wanted to marry, and we were both a part of his heart. But when I saw you together, I understood that his feelings for you were different. You are special to him.
I'm not willing to give in. It's obvious that I came first. I used to think that as long as I was good enough to him, I would be able to move his heart. But the harder I try, the more I feel the distance between us. I also thought about giving up, but every time I think of him, my heart can't help but hurt. It wasn't until that night at the Hot Spring Palace that I understood his choice. He chose to save me, not you. That night, I looked at the moon and stayed up all night.
I was wondering, what went wrong? My devotion to him could never be exchanged for his sincere treatment. Until last night, after I confided in Sister Liu, she only said:"Don't wait for love to be as deep as the ocean, your heart already belongs to someone else. Even if you go through all kinds of hardships, it's hard to exchange for a ray of warmth in your heart." At that moment, I see. No matter how hard I try, I can't leave a place in his heart.
Ah Xing, I think I should give up. I will leave here to find my own happiness. Not because I'm unwilling to pay, but because I don't want to hurt myself any more.
I want you to know that Yu Rourou is not a heartless person. I hope you can be happy and that His Highness can get the emotions he wants. And I will also try to make myself live a better life."
After listening and looking at Yu Rourou's sincere smile, I understood that she had really come out of this relationship. I held her hand back to express my support and encouragement, then stretched out my right hand and gave her She gave a thumbs up and sincerely praised:"You are awesome, you will definitely have better happiness in the future! Yu
Rourou smiled softly, her eyes shining with determination and hope:"The story we told together that time touched me deeply. Now I finally understand that I can definitely become like a pixel girl." people. I can pursue my own happiness, or I can give my life other meanings. She looked at me with a joking expression:"I just discovered now that the relationship between you and His Highness is not as deep as I imagined. It seems that it has always been His Highness's wishful thinking.""
I looked at her deeply and replied seriously:"Actually, my relationship with him is not bad. If I had the chance to leave the palace, I would choose to leave. I also want to become a vegetarian and pursue my own freedom and happiness."
Yu Rourou shook her head gently, raised her head and laughed:"What you want in this world cannot be obtained, and what you get is not what you want. Her laughter gradually stopped, and then she looked at me seriously:"By the way,"Xiaoyaoyou" is His Highness's favorite book. He called himself Xiaoyaozi when he was a boy! Just from this name, we can see that he had a unique temperament when he was young. He is as uninhibited as the wind, free and unrestrained, free and elegant."
Then, she sighed, stood up and saluted me:"Axing, see you later!"I immediately stood up straight, nodded, and watched her figure slowly disappear. There was a strong sense of loss in my heart, and at the same time, a firm idea gradually became clear - I also want to leave the palace! I must act as soon as possible!
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