I Fell For My Nemesis
Chapter 133 - All Tangled Up
As Keith realized there was much more to Joss than met the eye and that she probably wasn't as put-together as she appeared he wondered if that was why they got along so well. There was a good chance they had both been rejected by everyone else their whole lives for being themselves until they met a kindred spirit.
She did say that thinking the best of each other might be why they worked. Had she figured out that he used humor as a defense mechanism? She probably had considering her job. Maybe she felt a sense of solidarity around him too.
She also said he made things more fun. Based on what he had seen since she got hurt he was beginning to understand why that was such a big deal to her.
Joss didn't have hobbies. She didn't know what to do with herself when she wasn't busy with whatever she did outside of work and it was glaringly obvious. She read what she was given. Ate what she was given. Went along with any suggestions that were given without seeming to put any thought into whether or not it was something she wanted.
She didn't seem to have much of an opinion on anything but that didn't mean she was boring. She had rather interesting things to say and was able to keep up with his weird sense of humor.
It was just strange. How did someone manage to go through life as long as she had without finding things she liked or disliked?
When Keith was doing her laundry he noticed that almost all of her clothes were neutrally colored. As if she picked whatever was plainest on purpose. She didn't have accessories the way most women did either. And her pajamas were all matching sets. The kind that were bundled up and sold in packages rather than needing to be tried on.
Her apartment didn't have a single thing in it that was sentimental. It was perfectly organized and perfectly generic. Anyone could live here. Even a motel room had more personality than this place.
He knew Joss had a personality. So why didn't it show in her space?
Keith didn't have much in his room either but he at least had stickers on his laptop and a band poster he had held onto since high school. And a striped bedspread that included one of his favorite colors. Hers was plain white.
That wasn't the only weird thing either. When she was watching TV she didn't seem to get into it at all. Her expression was blank as if she wasn't absorbing what she was watching in the slightest. But when he asked she was able to give detailed analysis of what was happening on the screen.
She wasn't enjoying what she was watching. She was simply doing it to have something to do.
How much of her life was like that? Was hanging out with him like that too?
Keith didn't want to believe it. Joss was a lot more animated when they were joking around than she was when she was doing her own thing. But he had noticed when they were at the arcade before that she took things in the same way when they weren't laughing at something or other.
Was there anything she truly enjoyed? He was beginning to think there wasn't and she did everything solely to have something to do.
That was a sad way to live. He didn't think there was anything wrong with her for being like that but he did wish she found a way to be more engaged in the world for her own sake.
It made him want to help her experience as much as possible. Maybe that way she would find something she liked for real. Unfortunately, that would be difficult to do until she fully recovered. He already knew that would take months.
Keith didn't mind too much though. He planned to stick around much longer than that.
He may not fully understand this complicated woman but he wanted to. Desperately. He wanted to understand everything about her so he wouldn't do or say the wrong thing and drive her away.
Joss had worried about that before. She said she wasn't good with interacting with people outside of a work setting and if she did anything wrong to tell him. That hinted at her being every bit as afraid of messing this up as he was.
If she had been through something traumatic in the past it would make sense. That they were both like that because they were used to getting rejected and didn't want it to happen again.
Keith had never had more than a superficial relationship because he thought his real self wouldn't be accepted anywhere. He didn't think that was Joss's problem. He was pretty sure she had never even discovered what her real self was because of whatever happened to her.
That was okay. He didn't care what that ended up being. Even if she wasn't terribly opinionated she was still smart, kind, and funny. That wouldn't change when she found things she cared about other than her work.
He glanced over at where she was concentrating hard on making an origami flower and smiled. How had he ever thought she was too elegant to be cute? She was adorable.
When Joss finished she held it up for him to inspect. "What do you think?"
The lines were impeccably sharp and it looked exactly like the model she had a picture of on her phone. She had picked up on origami quick. He wasn't sure if she liked it or not but at least it was giving her something to do for now.
Keith grinned at her. "Best origami flower I've ever seen. You're a natural. A little more practice and the origami gods will be bowing down to you."
Joss rolled her eyes at his exaggeration but let out a pleased laugh. "High praise. Thanks, Keith."
"You're very welcome."
No, he didn't understand her completely. But he was starting to. That was what mattered.
===
Jocelyn hadn't expected Keith to take care of her so thoroughly. She thought asking for help with her mattress would be a one-time thing but he exceeded her expectations so much she didn't even know where to begin.
He came over every day not only to keep her entertained but help with whatever chores she needed done. He never complained and when she tried to protest or apologize he brushed it off by saying he wanted to help her. She truly didn't understand.
Was this because he liked her? Was that why he was helping her out?
He said it was because they were best friends but she had never had a best friend before so she didn't know what all it entailed. This seemed to go above and beyond what anyone would do for someone else unless they were family. The healthy kind that actually loved each other.
Jocelyn didn't have any experience with that either. This was all rather perplexing.
It didn't help that she had way too much time to overthink about all of this. Since she wasn't working she had nothing but time and not much to do. Those books Keith brought helped kill time but that was all it was.
None of them left a real impression. Same with the TV shows she tried to watch. Eventually, she picked something solely to have a consistent way to pass the time. She wasn't terribly invested in it so she played games on her phone while listening more than watching.
Somehow Keith figured out what she was doing and suggested something else to do with her hands while she watched TV. It required more concentration and that was helpful.
The real question was how he had known. Had seeing her outside of the usual context given something about her away? She was concerned about that possibility because she knew better than anyone that she was dull as dishwater. Someone as lively as him wouldn't want to be around someone like her long-term.
Jocelyn had never wanted him to see her like this. Vulnerable. Weak. In pain.
But it wasn't as if she had any other choice. She was recovering from surgery and needed the help.
Keith came over every day to either bring her things or just hang out. He always helped her into bed too since it was difficult for her to get onto the mattress with her leg and the limited floorspace.
He worked or trained all day then took care of her all evening. Why? Why was he doing this? What was he gaining from it? He must have completely given up on his hero duties to take care of her and she knew he loved being a hero.
Why would he give that up for her? Were his feelings for her stronger than she thought?
Jocelyn's were all tangled up. She was incredibly grateful he was here and simultaneously terrified of becoming more dependent on him than she already was. Especially with all of the secrets between them. Those wouldn't be resolved so easily.
She hadn't gotten the chance to reach out to Avery West-Slater yet. Even if she could she didn't know if they would be able to meet. More likely they would have to talk on the phone because she was stuck at home.
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