I Have a Crush I Want to Talk to You

"It's Xu Jingjing, right? Your mother couldn't be stupid enough to record such videos and recordings for you to see. She was the only one who would go to the hospital to see your father at that time. She was the only one who had been thinking about cheating on me. For eight years Before, when you were on Shengsi Island, you chose to believe her instead of me. Uncle Kang's death, you also chose to believe her, not me. You kept saying that the person you liked eight years ago was me, but why do you always Would you rather believe her than me? How did Uncle Kang treat me, how ungrateful I was to ask him to give up on you!" I asked hysterically.

"I didn't fully trust her!"

"But you doubt it!"

"Eight years ago, on Shengsi Island, it was because I was jealous of Gao Zhan instead of trusting her. I can't stand you beating people like a lunatic for Gao Zhan's sake. My father's death, I began to doubt it. I have passed you, but I didn't fully trust her, if I really thought about getting revenge on you, I should have made all Ogilvy's model houses for you, but I didn't."

"But you doubted, you doubted! If you doubted, why didn't you ask me yourself?"

"How do I ask you? Whether I believe you or not, how do I tell you about this? I want to ask you directly, Xu Jingjing, did you kill my dad eight years ago because you wanted to go abroad? I Wouldn't you feel hurt by asking this out?"

"If you ask, why do you think I will definitely be hurt? Compared to your relationship with Xu Jingjing, it hurts me more. Those two videos weren't your mass emails, but who sent them? She? It's not the first time I've done this. It's been like this eight years ago, and it's still the same eight years later. The last time I instigated me behind my back was a mistress who robbed her boyfriend. You came out and clarified, but what about this time? I have a thousand mouths and I can't explain the two videos and the recording. Even you have doubted me, let alone other people?"

"I made it clear to Xu Jingjing a long time ago, didn't I? You heard it when you were in Sanya, didn't you? I didn't let it go about everything she did, you'll know soon."

I cover my ears with my hands.

"Enough! Don't say it anymore! It doesn't matter if Xu Jingjing gave you those two videos and recordings, eight years ago, I didn't

If Uncle Kang gave you up, I didn't even think about going abroad. Those two videos were manipulated, believe it or not. I don't want to see you again from now on! "

He took my hand and said, "I believe in you! I never thought about hurting you from the beginning to the end. For so long, whether I really love you, or is it false, can't you feel it? Xu Jingjing, You look at me! You look at me!"

I threw his hand away, glared at him sternly, turned and walked away.

"Jingjing, calm down, listen to me. I love you, I love you! I really love you. I never thought about hurting you from beginning to end."

He pulled me, hugged me tightly and refused to let go.

"If you mind that I doubt you, I apologize to you, I was wrong, I was wrong."

I struggled with all my strength and kept kicking him with my feet, even if I bit his hand with my teeth, he still wouldn't let go. I struggled with him on the side of the road like crazy.

Passers-by kept walking by and started pointing. Some people took out their mobile phones to shoot videos. Until someone wanted to call the police, he had to let go of me. I kicked him hard, turned around and ran.

A taxi just happened to come, I got in the car and urged the driver to drive quickly.

"Jingjing—"

He chased after the car for a while, until the car got further and further away, and finally gave up.

I gave my home address and cried to the window.

The taxi driver looked at the rear mirror and comforted me: "Little girl, are you arguing with your boyfriend? Oh, there is a lot of noise between young lovers, it's normal, it's okay, it's okay, he will coax you in two days. A few words, let him make a good compensation, and it will be fine.

. "

I covered my face and cried uncontrollably.

The driver was taken aback and stopped immediately, took out a tissue box from the side and handed it to me, then drove the car silently and never dared to speak again.

The weather in the first month was cold and humid, and the cold wind was blowing on my face like a knife, and I felt numb. Compared with the coldness of my limbs, my heart could no longer feel the temperature.

My only love, the love that I waited for for eight years, hurt me so badly. Compared to when he left Shengsi Island with Xu Jingjing eight years ago, the pain this time was even heavier.

I don't have the strength I imagined, nor the nerves I imagined. In fact, I am more delicate and sensitive. When hurt, I just hide in my shell and lick my wounds desperately...

end

Kang Jincheng did not entangle me. According to the news disclosed by Li Gerui, he has been busy with the acquisition of Ogilvy & Mather, and he will come to me to discuss things clearly after the matter is over. I'm exhausted physically and mentally, and I don't want to hear anything about Kang Jincheng and Ogilvy & Mather anytime soon. But he would send me messages every day at the time of three meals a day, in the morning, noon and in the evening, telling me to eat on time and not to starve.

Whenever I see news of him, I can't help crying. I tried to block him several times, but every time I shed tears, until my eyes were blurred with tears and I couldn't see the screen clearly, so I gave up.

In the face of Miss Beauty's questioning, I chose to avoid answering. There was still half a month before the Chinese New Year, but I bought a ticket and flew directly to Guizhou.

Maling River Bridge, Baling River Bridge, Qingshui River Bridge of Nanning-Kunming Railway…

in the guide

Under the leadership, I carefully watched and walked along the drive all the way, and the scenes of the past floated in front of my eyes, and I couldn't help but recall the situation when I was chatting with Uncle Kang.

"Jingjing, what do you want to do in the future? What major do you want to take?"

"I imagine you are a designer. I want to be a bridge designer, building a lot of bridges in the southwest, making the roads in the southwest more developed, so that the children in the deep mountains can come out."

"Oh, you are so enlightened. Unlike our Jiawei, you can do whatever you want to make money."

…

Looking at these majestic and magnificent worlds from a distance, the long bridges are like rainbows, and they are interlocked with mountains. People can come out. They must not have a petite love like mine in their chests.

It is also the beautiful scenery of the bridges and the magnificent mountains and rivers along the way, which makes my heart gradually calm down.

Xiaobai and Jiayao also asked me where I was every day, but I didn't say anything.

For the first two or three days, the two of them only dared to report some news in the group. For example, Ogilvy & Mather was about to be acquired by the Zhejiang company, and the acquisition agreement would be signed in the next two days. For example, Liu Yunhua had resigned as the chairman and was living at home. Another example is the key news, Xu Jingjing was invited to investigate because of suspected bribery, which is very pleasing...

On the fourth day, when the two of them saw that I was not disgusted, they asked me where I went. After calming down, I told them that I went to a place where the mountains and rivers are far away, and I once wanted to realize my dream.

The two of them couldn't get the exact news and started to give me every day in turn

Brainwashing, I kept defending Kang Jincheng, because I was too stubborn, not only refused to explain myself, but also did not give him a chance to explain, and then I left too suddenly, he has been busy with the acquisition of Ogilvy & Mather, Can't find me to explain to me.

The two videos and audio recordings in the email confirmed that it was sent by Xu Jingjing. In the recording, Liu Yunhua called Xu Jingjing. She mistook Xu Jingjing for me and made a request for interests to Xu Jingjing. Knowing that I am ordinary and unremarkable is the real Xu Jingjing that Kang Muhua likes.

As for whether Xu Jingjing persuaded Uncle Kang to give up his guardianship, what he said at that time is unknown.

Eight years ago, Xu Jingjing recorded these two videos to Kang Jincheng. The grief of losing her father made him unable to think correctly for a while. He doubted me, but after spending some time in America, his mind became clear and he chose to believe me more, he believed that I was not that kind of person. Otherwise, when bidding for the project, he could have made my company win the bid. If Ogilvy & Mather went bankrupt, I would have caused a lot of trouble for my brother's company, but he didn't.

It just bothered him how he was going to ask me the truth at that time, because no one knew me better than him. I look carefree on the outside, but I am actually a stubborn and cowardly coward who is afraid of being hurt. As long as I feel a little hurt, I will shrink back into my shell and do not want to come out. He originally wanted to find a chance to ask me when the Ogilvy matter was settled, but he didn't expect that Xu Jingjing would share the two videos and recordings with everyone in a group manner.

what he called

I didn't let Xu Jingjing go. It didn't take long before I knew that it meant that Xu Jingjing should be arrested on suspicion of bribery.

The one that made me laugh the most was Xu Jingjing. She reluctantly called me for a day and I didn't answer, and then sent a dozen messages all insulting me as a vicious scheming bitch.

"Xu Jingjing! What I can't get from Xu Jingjing, you can't get it either."

What is gained and what is not obtained? Sometimes what you think you have got is actually far away from you, and sometimes what you have been looking for is always by your side.

This day is twenty-nine years old. I have been wandering outside for more than half a month. The more recent years, the more I miss my home. I am worried that my self-willedness may lead to the first time in my life that I cannot go home for the New Year. Thanks to the guide, who helped me I got the last first-class ticket to get me home.

When I got on the plane and sat down in the first class seat, I couldn't help thinking of Kang Jincheng again in my mind, and how happy I was snuggling by his side the last time I sat in first class, Fly to Sanya together…

In fact, during this month of wandering around in Guizhou, apart from Xiaobai and Jiayao giving me brainwashing messages, Kang Jincheng still sends me messages every morning, noon and night.

"Remember to eat on time when you are out, and don't starve your body. I love you, Jingjing!"

"The moon is very round tonight, no matter where you are, remember to come out and see the moon. Good night, I love you!"

"When I was running this morning, I met a Samoyed. His cute smile reminded me of you. I love you, Xu Jingjing!"

"It snowed in N city today,

You must pay attention to keeping warm outside. If you have no money to buy clothes, I will send you a big red envelope. "After this message, there are two red envelopes, one is 520 and the other is 1314.

"Come back, Jingjing, uncle and aunt are very worried about you, and I am very worried about you. Good night, I love you!"

…

At first, I ignored the messages he sent me, but every day, every message made me feel that he really came from the bottom of my heart. I thought I had calmed down, but every night watching these messages from him, I couldn't help shedding tears and crying like a dog.

I sighed deeply, took out the blindfold from my bag and put it on.

After a while, I felt someone sitting next to me, and I subconsciously approached the window and pulled away.

After the plane took off, it didn't take long for me to fall asleep until the stewardess came over with the dining cart and asked, "Sir, do you want chicken rice or beef rice?"

"Beef rice." The familiar voice caught me off guard.

"Okay. What about your girlfriend?"

"She chooses herself."

I quickly pulled off the blindfold, and when I saw Kang Jincheng beside me, my nose couldn't help sour.

"Miss, do you want chicken rice or beef rice?"

I choked my voice and replied, "I'm not hungry for now, thank you...".

At some point I was covered with a thin blanket, and I didn't even notice it.

He reached out and touched my hair, his fingertips touched my cheek again, and said, "You are thin and dark. Alas, it seems that you have not eaten well. I am afraid that you will not be able to go home during the New Year, so I will come here. pick you up."

Tears fell without warning.

he lightly

He wiped away my tears, took me in his arms, and his voice was as soft as the wind: "If you don't want to eat, just continue to sleep, there are still two hours left."

I nestled in his arms, tears rolling out drop by drop.

He hugged me, kissed my hair, and whispered an apology in my ear: "It's all my fault, if I had explained this to you sooner, it wouldn't have happened. I'm sorry, it's all my fault."

I shook my head, letting the emotions of this half month vent.

All I care about is his suspicions, but if it were me, would I be able to live rationally for these eight years? Must I not doubt him at all? For the past half month, every night when I fell asleep, I would ask myself, and the answer I got was no.

I can not do it.

Neither I nor him were wrong in this matter.

It's just that, like the bridges under construction in the mountains, the bridge between my heart and his heart is not completely spliced...

When I returned to N City, I learned that Xiaobai and Jiayao were his intelligence officers. They tried every means to find out my whereabouts. It was my words "a place where the mountains are high and the rivers are far away, and I once wanted to realize my dreams" betrayed. I. He knows what I once dreamed of.

The last ticket that the guide bought with great difficulty was also arranged by him, but he specially told the guide not to let me know. I don't know how he contacted the guide, not only this ticket, but also the half-month itinerary. It's no wonder that the guide kept scolding the side all the way, saying that by looking at my face, I knew that I must have a caring boyfriend. At that time, I just smiled and said that the boyfriend is Fuyun.

The accommodation and meals arranged by the guide for me are all

It is the highest standard in the area. While feeling the poor life of the people in the mountains, I can eat and live well. At that time, I felt guilty for a long time. The guide kept explaining, they all came home, who came to travel? The money I gave was the highest standard in the local off-season, which made me wonder if I was paying in US dollars, not Chinese yuan.

After Ogilvy & Mather was invested and acquired by a well-known enterprise in Zhejiang, the buildings that had been suspended before also resumed work not long after the year. After the merger was completed, although the acquired company wanted to keep Kang Jincheng as the president of Ogilvy, he politely refused.

The previously sealed villa of the Li family was finally returned to Li Gerui. On the weekend, I accompanied Kang Jincheng to visit his mother Liu Yunhua. Seeing her, she suddenly aged at least ten years, without her delicate makeup, she was no longer seeing that elegant and resolute woman, but an elderly middle-aged woman.

When she saw Kang Jincheng, she was not angry, but very calm.

"I have never regretted leaving your dad's side and coming together with Uncle Li. Maybe the only thing I regret is that I gave up on you. The reason why I have to take you to the United States is to prove that I am not a bad person. Mother. But it turned out to be the opposite, I was the worst mother in the world."

Liu Yunhua glanced at me, her eyes were not as sharp as before, and she slowly turned upstairs.

Kang Jinsui clasped my hand tightly in the palm of my hand, watching Liu Yunhua's thin back leaving, the strength of the clenched strength made me feel his inner struggle, contradiction and pain.

Liu Yunhua's love for Jincheng was done in the wrong way.

To give enough money is mother's love. I sincerely admit that although she is despised by her pursuit of money and fame and fortune, she is also admired for her strong professionalism and self-motivation. The reason why Ogilvy & Mather has extraordinary achievements is not unrelated to her hard work. Invisibly, Kang Jincheng's strict self-discipline and due diligence in his career were all influenced by Liu Yunhua.

If they can communicate well with each other, maybe today will be another situation.

The hurt between family is always hurting the enemy and hurting one thousand.

I inserted my fingers between his fingers and clasped them tightly.

He turned his head to look at me with a smile, and said, "I lost my share in K-Robot and left Ogilvy & Mather. I have to work hard to make money in the future. You must not dislike me as a poor bastard."

I frowned, pretending to be tangled, and replied, "So you are so poor now?! Then I have to ask Li Gerui whether the breakup fee she said before is not counted."

"Oh, go and ask for it. By the way, ask her how much money she still lacks to buy a plane ticket back to China?"

"Oh, you're still not human? Treat your sister like this."

He looked up at the camphor tree swaying in the breeze on the street, smiled and said, "Spring is my favorite season because of the fragrance of my favorite camphor tree. Do you know what the flower language of camphor tree is?"

A gust of fresh breeze came, and the fragrance of camphor flowers spread with the wind, making people unable to help close their eyes and feel the smell quietly.

"Its first flower language is pure friendship, just like when you and I first started eight years ago."

"Is this tree savage, there is a second flower language, what is the second flower language?"

He smiled mysteriously,

After selling it, "Go check it out yourself."

I flipped out my phone disdainfully and typed in "the second flower language of the camphor tree".

I want to be with you and protect you forever, because I know that you are my only one, and no one can replace you...

(End of full text)

postscript

Finally came to the happy time of typing the word "postscript" again. It took me seven months, and I finally finished this youth campus + modern urban light comedy novel with tears in my eyes.

The manuscript should have been submitted in March, but the submission was delayed due to the serialization of another Xianxia fantasy novel "Banlian Pond". Since February this year, I have been rushing drafts between "Secret Love" and "Banlian Pond", commonly known as double opening, which is probably the first time in my lazy writing career that I have been so diligent.

This article has not been serialized on the Internet, and it is the first time that it has been completed slowly without communicating the plot with the readers at all. In fact, there are some small regrets.

I personally love this essay very much. Whether it’s writing it myself or revising it, I can’t help laughing while reading it. Of course, there are places where I write crying myself, such as the part about Dad Kang's stomach cancer. Because my mother died of stomach cancer eight years ago, whether it is writing or revising, whenever it comes to the place where Dad died, I can't hold back my tears. Back then, my mother also chose to commit suicide by jumping into the lake just like Father Kang. The whole family finally found her for a day before pulling her back from the lake. However, she was still unable to escape the illness. Seventeen days later, she died...

Originally, I wanted to have a tragic ending. I wanted instant noodles to hate the heroine, take revenge on the heroine, and abuse a little more.

A little more abuse... But in the end, I still couldn't bear to let it go. I think if I wrote the whole text very happy and funny, at the end, I tell you that this is actually a tragedy, and I will definitely be beaten to death.

In the first half and the second half of the article, the characters of the male and female protagonists are completely different. Everyone will change more or less in the process of growing up. The heroine continues the teasing in high school until after work. She is happy and cheerful, but her former sensitivity has turned into more defense. Personally, I prefer instant noodles in high school, which are fat and round, sincere and warm. Eight years later, he has become very sultry, and I even feel that he is ruthless when I write about the Ogilvy that he destroyed his mother. This is also where I have always been conflicted, so it didn't turn into a tragedy in the end, because from the bottom of my heart, I didn't want to turn him into a despicable man, and I expected him to be that warm, chunky instant noodles. Xu Jingjing is probably the most disgusting female lead in all the novels I have written. Ask who my favorite supporting roles are, I choose Xiaobai, Jiayao and Xiong Shuai. Why not Gao Zhan? The male **** is only used to stay in my heart forever. After a long time, I have forgotten everything. Hahaha, when you see this sentence, do you want to kill me?

After entering the society and starting a family, what I miss the most is the days when I was raised by my parents, without any pressure and burden. My husband laughed at me, saying that I was just a giant baby who didn't grow up.

Maybe my youth is long gone, but occasionally I think back

, the most sincere and beautiful must be those green years. I feel that I was born too early, and I am especially envious of the generation after 00. If I can have another youth, I will definitely seize that short time. So I also hope that you, who are spending a good youth, must grasp it well, and don't waste your time.

Thanks to my dear editor Da Nuan Nuan, and her thoughtfulness for letting me delay the draft~~ She is an editor who is super responsible for the content. During the communication with her, I learned a lot of things, which I admire very much.

flower in the morning

May 8, 2017 in Ning